how to pull a bird (girl)?

[etccarmageddon]

"BIRD" eh?

I once went out with a girl that didn't like to be called "LOVE" - we'd be on the phone and I'd say "ok, love" and there would be this pause followed by "no, I REALLY DONT LIKE THAT - dont do that, it really bugs me."

Eventually I said "ok, I've had enough of this what do you want to be called then?"

reply "call me bitch". followed by sniggering.

so in all future phone chats I would end the odd comment with "bitch" and there would be this sound on the other end of the line like "mmmmmm" - as if she was getting off on it!

[Nugget]

Originally Posted by Mr_love_monkey

though you wouldn't need to worry about birth control...

Ooh, good point

Unlike Zeph, obviously

[xpod]

though the women would say that the split isn't exactly 50/50 - that they do a lot more, and we get the easy bit - atleast that's what my wife is telling me most days now

I doubt mine would utter such a lie

*Warning* Pregnant woman viewing thread!

Bah.......i have a PMT(P for permanant) enraged wife and 4 daughters to answer to about my ramblings on the interweb

God help me & my lad when those girls are all reach their teens though.

>Hi my darlings<................

EDIT....erm...........where is the delete post button again???... :-)

[Alien]

Originally Posted by Zeph

To give birth takes a few hours of her time, you'll be paying for the child for the next 18 years

*runs*

You're forgetting the 9 months of seeing how much they can get away with in terms of either avoiding stuff they're perfectly capable of doing, or how nasty/bitchy they can be & just say "it's the hormones, it's your fault I'm like this" without you telling them off for it.

Originally Posted by Nugget

Yeah, but wouldn't the fact that they're pregnant rather ruin your chances of getting them

Pregnant doesn't automatically mean spoken-for. The father might have done a runner as soon as he found out, or the pregnancy could be the result of a 1-night-stand.

Originally Posted by xpod

Bah.......i have a PMT(P for permanant) enraged wife and 4 daughters to answer to about my ramblings on the interweb

As I said, women get it, but men are the ones who suffer from it.

On the original subject of chat-up lines, I just came across this lot whilst clearing out 1 of my email folders.

Science fiction/geek pickup lines

- "Someone must have shot you with a phaser set on 'stunning.'"

- "I can't help it -- my eyes are trapped in the gravitational field of your
breasts!!"

- "Nice Asimov."

- "Not only can I beam you aboard, I can beam you a woody."

- "Earth woman, prepare to be probed!"

- "I'm the droid you're looking for."

- "Is that a spare Vulcan ear in your pocket or... well, I'm just asking
because some jerk in the parking lot pulled off one of my Vulcan ears."

- "Hey, baby. I own Microsoft."

- "Your mouth says, 'Shields up!', but your eyes say, 'A hull breach is
imminent.'"

[Stuart]

Originally Posted by Nugget

Unlike Zeph, obviously

After his previous comment, I suspect Zeph is eligible for a darwin award.

[danielf]

Originally Posted by Halcyon

As everyone else is saying, just be yourself.

People often tell me to 'just be myself', but the problem is: that's just not me.

[xpod]

As I said, women get it, but men are the ones who suffer from it.

This place is like hormone central getting........and it`s only gonna get worse as the girls get older.I`m a glutton for punishment though and love every minute of it.
I do feel for my poor lad at times though


If i/we did`nt "suffer from it" though then i`d know something was wrong.

[Alien]

Originally Posted by danielf

People often tell me to 'just be myself', but the problem is: that's just not me.

I think 'just being myself' is the problem in my case.

[Cobbydaler]

Originally Posted by Alien

I think 'just being myself' is the problem in my case.

Perhaps if you took note of some of the negative connotations in this checklist?

[MadGamer]

Want to know the best way (This worked for me):

Get to know them (ask them what their likes/dislikes are)
Let them know that they are the only thing that matters and that they will always come first
Dont rush into things
Tell them that you wont force them to do anything they dont want to.
Tell them that you will only do things when they feel comfortable

[Alien]

Originally Posted by Cobbydaler

Perhaps if you took note of some of the negative connotations in this checklist?

LOL, no, I got my nickname mostly due to being a loner with a strong interest in sci-fi. For the sake of humour &/or because I've got nothing better to do, I'll respond to some of the points on that page.

Abduction "Checklist"//Are Aliens Negative From Our Point-Of View?

If "abduction" reports can be believed--and there is no reason to doubt the honesty of the reporters--the abduction phenomenon includes the following details:

1) Aliens can alter our perception of our surroundings.

Does supplying alcoholic beverages count?

2) Aliens can control what we think we see. They can appear to us in any number of guises, and shapes.

I wish!

3) Aliens can take us--our consciousness--out of our physical bodies,

It's not my fault if they're used to males that would have difficulty locating a certain part of the female anatomy, even if supplied with diagrams & written instructions, & then don't know what to do with it if/when they do find it!

4) Aliens can be present with us in an invisible state and can make themselves only partially visible.

If only, then I wouldn't need to loose any weight.

5) Abductees receive marks on their bodies other than the well-known scoops and straight-line scars. These other marks include single punctures, multiple punctures, large bruises, three- and four-fingered claw marks, and triangles of every possible sort.

I'm kinda partial to the giving & receiving of "love bites", & might be persuaded to leave some nice red handprints on their bottom if they ask nicely. Beyond that though, no.

They also inject unknown fluids into various parts of our bodies.

'Inject' isn't the word I'd use, & I'm fairly sure it's not unknown to them.

These have led to surgery, debilitation, and even death from causes the doctors can't identify.

Nope, sadly my ex continues to be a waste of oxygen [AFAIK - haven't spoken to any mutual aquaintences in quite some time].

10) Aliens show a great interest in adult sexuality,

No more so than most average adult males do.

and in inflicting physical pain on abductees.

Only if they ask nicely.

11) Abductees recall being instructed and trained by aliens. This training may be in the form of verbal or telepathic lessons, slide shows, or actual hands-on instruction in the operation of alien technology.

Does improving their computer literacy count?

14) Abductees--"virgin" cases--report being taken to underground facilities where they see grotesque hybrid creatures, nurseries of hybrid humanoid fetuses, and vats of colored liquid filled with parts of human bodies.

I believe the closest translation to what you Earthlings would say is, "Ewwwwww!"

Some abductees have been threatened that they, too, will end up in this condition if they don't co-operate with their alien captors.

I've sometimes wondered if that might improve my appeal to them, judging by the kinds of guys they tend to prefer instead of me.

18) Aliens perform extremely painful experiments or procedures on abductees, saying that these acts are necessary but give no explanation why.....Painful genital and anal probes are performed,

Completely untrue... I ask nicely, & offer to use lubrication.

Originally Posted by MadGamer

Want to know the best way (This worked for me):

Get to know them (ask them what their likes/dislikes are)
Let them know that they are the only thing that matters and that they will always come first
Dont rush into things
Tell them that you wont force them to do anything they dont want to.
Tell them that you will only do things when they feel comfortable

This pre-supposes that they don't choose 1 or more of the following as soon as they realise I might be attracted to them:
1. tell me I'm not their type
2. tell me to off
3. find some/any excuse to get away from me as quickly as possible.

[Vlad_Dracul]

Originally Posted by wwe

how would u pull a bird(girl)?
whats ur best chat up lines?

How about another angle?

Can we assume that all girls who are out there in clubs n bars actually want ot be "pulled"? They might just want a quiet night out with a mate. It must be a real PITA for girls who feel pestered and leered at all the time.

But then, it depends on why you might want to "pull" a bird. do you want to bed her for the night or do you want something less shallow?

If you are looking for lurrvvve then bypass all the drinking,chatting and clubbing scene and skip along to an on line dating agency. There are som really great people to meet on there and its isnt stuffy fashioned as it once might have been. also you or they are not "desperate". You are just focussing more closely on what you want.

[shabbychic]

just be yourself, and start the way you mean to go on, if you put an act on, before long she'll be saying you've changed.

[Alien]

On the topic of pick-up lines...

[wwe]

Originally Posted by Nidge

Your jeans would look nice on my bedroom floor.

did that work 4 u?