I generally say something suitably vague like, "Just give it a trim and tidy it up a bit." Of course the barber then starts asking searching questions like, "How high do you want the sideboards?" which completely flummoxes me.
1) I was brought up to call them sideboards, but I'm not sure if they should really be called sideburns.
2) Silence is golden, especially on the part of barbers!
3) Do barbers still exist or have they all upgraded to become hairdressers?
4) What is the opposite of a Unisex hairdresser? No, perhaps we shouldn't go down that path.
