Quote:
Originally Posted by weenie
Apologies for the long post.
I have a question that I'm looking for some unbiased answers on.
If you had a number of things to do like be home within the hour, make your family a meal, take your child to a club since your hubby is working and you and a other person were both asked who can go to the shops for me now as I need etc, is it taking the pee if that other person just simply ignores the person asking and continues to sit on the sofa and watch the tennis while shouting come on Andy. Hubby, both my son's and friends said this is taking the pee if one person is running trying to catch their tail and be expected to do this while the other person has nothing to do at that moment simply because that other person had nothing to do and knew how busy I was.
Well that is what happened to me last night.
What happened on Tuesday is my Dad phoned me at 4pm and said my Mum's nurse has phoned the GP and a prescription is waiting at the doctors so I left and picked this up from the doctors then went to Boots to get it. Then he asked me to do some shopping as my sister was busy I said he would have to wait till later if that was ok. To give you an idea of Tuesday it was that I left my house at 4pm got back home at 6pm then offered the wee one a subway as he was hungry as dinner was not happening as it had been put on hold for obvious reasons, took the wee one to his cadets at 6:45 then went from their to do my Dad's shopping, took the shopping to my parents at approximately 8pm only to find the sister who remember was too busy to do the shopping sitting in my parents drinking coffee with her hubby, then I left my parents house with my sister and her hubby still there despite being apparently busy and far too busy do any shopping at 9:10 I left my parents house to pick up my son from cadets at 9:30 then came home at 9:50 made us something to eat as remember we had no time for a dinner then I made hubby something to eat when he came in from his work at 11pm. That was my Tuesday evening.
So on two occasions this week alone this has happened which is not unusual as I find this is happening all the time, so I ask am I getting made a fool off?
Please tell me your view's whether that is posting or pm as I'm at my wits end and hubby is ready to blow with my sister he has said don't do it but I can't say no to my Dad especially given the situation. Hubby hurt me last night when he said that my Father has always treated me so differently from my sister and it has always astonished him at how differently we are treated, whereas my eldest son said that my father uses emotional blackmail on me as when I said to my Dad last night that I felt it was unfair to ask me to do so much when I had other commitments and my sister had none his reply was well you can just say no. My son said this is emotional blackmail is it?
Am I getting made a fool off and been treated like a doormat?
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Hello Mrs Doormat.
Learning to say NO!!!!!! is the hardest thing that a caring, considerate and downright nice person can ever try to do. Your Father uses emotional blackmail on you because he knows it works. As for your sister, well you already know my opinion of her.
I know that you are between a rock and a hard place but if you run yourself into the ground then your Dad will have to become a bit more accommodating as you will end up burning yourself out.
If your Father needs shopping, or anything that you know could wait, then tell him you will do it when you can.... maybe tomorrow.... and if he can't wait till then tell him to phone your sister and just step back and leave them to it. Do not get drawn into a guilt session. Do not carry on as you are doing sweetie. Decide what your priorities are and then gently say NO to the rest.
Your caring husband and son can see what is happening and obviously love you too much to sit back and keep their mouth's shut any longer. Sometimes we wear rose tinted specs when it comes to our families and it hurts when those glasses are removed.
Sending you the biggest virtual hug,
Jo