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Neil
28-01-2004, 16:32
Planned Maintenance Week Commencing 26/01/04

26 January 2004 14:59

As part of the ongoing project to maintain and upgrade our cable network, there is a requirement to carry out work on components which may result in a loss of service for the duration of the work.
On the morning of Tuesday 27th January between midnight and 6am, the following work will take place:-

Network optimisation will result in a brief loss of service to cable modem customers nationwide.
Network resegmentation and load balancing work will result in a brief loss of service to customers in the Glengormley, Bishop Stortford, Middlesbrough, Huddersfield, Leicester Northfields and Shepshed areas.
Hardware upgrades will result in a loss of Email service for all ntl internet customers.
Network configuration changes will result in a loss of service to customers in the Derby, Folkstone, Luton, Nottingham and Poole areas.

On the morning of Wednesday 28th January between midnight and 6am, Software upgrades will result in a loss of service for some ntl home broadband internet cable modem customers.
Network resegmentation and load balancing work will result in a brief loss of service to customers in the Ipswitch area.

On the morning of Thursday 29th January between midnight and 6am,Network configuration changes will result in a loss of service to customers in the Epsom,Wearside and Wilmslow areas.

On the morning of Friday 30th January between midnight and 6am, Network optimisation will result in a brief loss of service to cable modem customers nationwide.

Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience these planned works may cause.

Are they actually getting around to upgrading email server hardware??? :eek:

Chimaera
28-01-2004, 16:35
No Neil - but it's 'coming soon'. :rofl:

Richard M
28-01-2004, 16:40
I heard they managed to buy a couple more Spectrums from eBay... :rofl:

Ben
28-01-2004, 16:56
:zzz:

Stuartbe
28-01-2004, 17:10
Ahhh !!!

I wondered why I had an order for 10 of my super dooper proxy servers

http://forum.nthellworld.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6408

Dont worry - you will all soon be racing allong on the net - Dont foget to send in more hamster food every Friday :D

MetaWraith
28-01-2004, 17:11
I heard they managed to buy a couple more Spectrums from eBay... :rofl:
ROTFLMAO

But then they'll say there is another delay due to paypal problems :rolleyes:

bigboab5
28-01-2004, 18:22
I heard they managed to buy a couple more Spectrums from eBay... :rofl:

More like Spectrum ZX 80!!!!

lol :rolleyes:

bigboab5

Paul
28-01-2004, 21:59
Shame on you all :p - they do what you have been moaning about for months and you still take the mickey. :)

John Doe
29-01-2004, 02:25
Are they actually getting around to upgrading email server hardware??? :eek:

Nope, they have to take the mice (http://www.doc.ic.ac.uk/~jab00/mouse/) out.

An yes ben, :zzz:

Stuart
29-01-2004, 03:57
More like Spectrum ZX 80!!!!

lol :rolleyes:

bigboab5
That's far too powerful...

Stuartbe
29-01-2004, 09:58
That's far too powerful...

No No No - you are all wrong.....

My secret agent took this photo of the new server last night. :D

John Doe
29-01-2004, 16:26
Your average server tech is now unably to fully depress the buttons on those machines now. Downtime wil continue for 1 additional week while the cleaner is re-trained...

Stuartbe
29-01-2004, 19:21
Your average server tech is now unably to fully depress the buttons on those machines now. Downtime wil continue for 1 additional week while the cleaner is re-trained...

Thats if they dont tangle themselves up in patch cables :rofl:

Sociable
29-01-2004, 19:29
Shame on you all :p - they do what you have been moaning about for months and you still take the mickey. :)

Well said pem but i'm sure you appreciate the reason for the jokes and NTL have only themselves to blame for that I think.

Paul
29-01-2004, 19:53
Thanks soc ....

Oi - who broke my raspberry smilie :eek:

Stuart
30-01-2004, 00:21
No No No - you are all wrong.....

My secret agent took this photo of the new server last night. :D
Just imagine the excuses at Customer Services..

"Sorry we lost your emails, but the cassette tape broke"...

Stuartbe
30-01-2004, 09:08
Just imagine the excuses at Customer Services..

"Sorry we lost your emails, but the cassette tape broke"...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

John Doe
30-01-2004, 13:29
Do you remember those really bid hard disks that where like five 12" vinyls stacked (but magnetic obviously)?

You dont see them anymore, not even at boot sales. I have a good idea as to where they went...

Stuartbe
30-01-2004, 15:43
Do you remember those really bid hard disks that where like five 12" vinyls stacked (but magnetic obviously)?

You dont see them anymore, not even at boot sales. I have a good idea as to where they went...

No -- Your wrong :D Far too high tech !!!

There data recording system consists of a stone disk spinning at high speed and a woodpecker with a tunston carbide beak grinding marks into it. The data is fed via a bit of string tied between the hamster wheel on the proxy server and the foor of the woodpecker....

Now you know :)

John Doe
30-01-2004, 15:50
tunston carbide beak

C'mon....that hasn't even been invented yet!!

Way to far-out. I have this mental image now of ntl techs running round looking like barney rubble and fred flintstone :rofl:

Richard M
30-01-2004, 15:58
No -- Your wrong :D Far too high tech !!!

There data recording system consists of a stone disk spinning at high speed and a woodpecker with a tunston carbide beak grinding marks into it. The data is fed via a bit of string tied between the hamster wheel on the proxy server and the foor of the woodpecker....

Now you know :)
:rofl:
Classic!

I wonder if they've migrated over to the higher density granite discs yet.

Stuartbe
30-01-2004, 16:11
:rofl:
Classic!

I wonder if they've migrated over to the higher density granite discs yet.

They cant - the woodpeckers get too tired.....

Besides - Bam Bam is guarding the entrance to the server room. That's why you onlt get mail when she " bam bams " on the floor. This scares the woodpeckers and makes them start pecking.

Just so you know - the disks are spun around by harnesing the power of the NTL management hot air via turbines.

:D

albone
02-02-2004, 20:52
Now now children they can't help it if they are stuck in the stone age! :rofl: :eek:

Neil
03-02-2004, 09:14
ntl Home - All Packages - E-Mail Service

2 February 2004 19:51

Due to essential maintenance between the hours of 1AM and 6AM on the morning of Tuesday the 3rd of February, ntl home internet customers on all packages will be unable to use the ntlworld E mail service, including ntlworld webmail.
We would like to apologise for any inconveinence this work may cause.

John Doe
03-02-2004, 11:09
Doesnt mention the granite disks tho :(

Stuartbe
03-02-2004, 13:26
They sent me an email about that. One of the woodpeckers had a bad tummy so they had to stop the server :D

John Doe
03-02-2004, 13:45
"They sent me an email about that."

How?!

Stuartbe
03-02-2004, 13:52
"They sent me an email about that."

How?!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Good point :D

Going back to sleep now !!! :)

Neil
03-02-2004, 13:53
*Ahem*

Stuart
03-02-2004, 21:14
And there's no truth in the rumour that when the guy in charge of email at NTL gets home, he chucks the cat out for the night. Then the cat leaps in through the front window, picks him up and chucks him out, and he spends the rest of the night banging on a door yelling "wilmaaaaaaaa!"