View Full Version : Film/Real Life differences
I have noticed certain things about films and real life
1) There is never any suspense music going on in real life when something significant happens
2) Everybody gets a chance to finish there sentance uninterrupted unlike the jockeying for position interuptions that go on in real life
Thats nice
(someone get him help :p )
Dave Stones
11-01-2004, 23:22
3) every american phone number begins with 555
4) there is always a beautiful woman who gets kidnapped by some terrorist plotting to take over the world, and a handsome musclebound actor has to save her
:rolleyes:
3) every american phone number begins with 555
4) there is always a beautiful woman who gets kidnapped by some terrorist plotting to take over the world, and a handsome musclebound actor has to save her
:rolleyes:
yeah = and when they catch the hero (a la James Bond) they always show them around the villain complex and say things like "if you pressed that button there our entire operation would collapse and we would be done for"
rather than just shoot the hero on the spot
Ok
I give in
I'll join this discussion
yeah = and when they catch the hero (a la James Bond) they always show them around the villain complex and say things like "if you pressed that button there our entire operation would collapse and we would be done for"
rather than just shoot the hero on the spot
I saw a James Bond film where the villain was sitting there eating lunch with him, and then as lunch finishes, Bond walks out of the room with some bird, and the villain says some cheasy line about shooting Mr Bond ...
WTF
Why didnt you just do it instead of eating with him :confused:
I saw a James Bond film
If you ever read the James Bond books
they are much more chauvanistic than the films
eg - in the book Goldfinger
he gives Pussy Galore such a good P*rking that he 'cures' her of being a lesbian
a) in real life you use toilets
b) in real life people fart
c) in real life you die or get injured when you crash your car
d) in real life computers don't have many flashing lights at all, nor do they have any big red buttons
a) in real life you use toilets
b) in real life people fart
c) in real life you die or get injured when you crash your car
d) in real life computers don't have many flashing lights at all, nor do they have any big red buttons
in films and tv they always order a drink - have some sort of conversation with someone then leave without touching a drop - or most of the drink undrunk
in films
5) No one ever farts in an embarassing situation (unless for comic effect).
6) No one ever says anything embarassing (again, unless for comic effect).
People always wake up in the mornings cheerful, make up on and immaculate hair. Not like yours truly who is grumpy and looks like a character in the Hair Bear Bunch
dilli-theclaw
11-01-2004, 23:48
a) in real life you use toilets
Did you know that on Star Trek : The Next Generation where they have the plan of the enterprise on the wall - there is only ONE Toilet.
The q's must be astromonical.
yeah = and when they catch the hero (a la James Bond) they always show them around the villain complex and say things like "if you pressed that button there our entire operation would collapse and we would be done for"
rather than just shoot the hero on the spot
http://minievil.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
I have noticed certain things about films and real life
1) There is never any suspense music going on in real life when something significant happens
Women don't scream when the lights go out unexpectedly.
3) every american phone number begins with 555
Actually I've seen some US series that use IIRC 585!
d) in real life computers don't have many flashing lights at all, nor do they have any big red buttons
Nor do they go "bleeple, doople, blip" when they print out stuff at the speed of a teletype!
(Well, apart from the time when I wrote a routine for the BBC micro that intercepted the screen print vector so that it *would* generate a tone each time it printed a character *and* would do it really slowly!)
Did you know that on Star Trek : The Next Generation where they have the plan of the enterprise on the wall - there is only ONE Toilet.
In the original Star Trek there was a toilet on the bridge. It was just to the right of the viewscreen, but it was always occupied by a cameraman!
downquark1
12-01-2004, 08:33
In 'Friends' foreign people always turn out to be horrible.
_________
Who celebrates these days with an evil cackle?
When you shoot at a car in the movies it either explodes, or the thin doors/roof stop the bullets.
This doesn't happen in real life.
zoombini
12-01-2004, 09:20
In real life, people do not "say" exactly what they are typing when using chat rooms or writing emails... (well mostly, coz someones gonna say "i do!").
In films, one man can infect a totally unknown alien computer system just by connecting his Apple mac to it wirelessly and typing "run virus".
Said virus can also display hi resolution graphics and use sampled sound.
In films, one man can infect a totally unknown alien computer system just by connecting his Apple mac to it wirelessly and typing "run virus".
Said virus can also display hi resolution graphics and use sampled sound.
Well you don't think Steve Jobs is originally from this planet do you? :D
Sociable
12-01-2004, 09:28
Again this is a "Mostly" one.
But in the movies the good guys always win, if only it was so in real life too.
Again in the movies spotting who are the good and bad guys is a lot easier too.
In films, the user can have an intelligent conversation with computers, which magically contain all knowledge in the Universe. Web sites also respond instantly, and when you do a search, you only get relevant results and no spam/porn.
We can't even get speech recognition working properly..
Theres usually some bit of rubbish lying about that the super hero can change into an all-singing all-dancing weapon needing only a used washing up bottle and some sticky back plastic
It took me a while to find it, but how about this old nugget (http://www.geocities.com/CapeCanaveral/Lab/3550/movies.htm) ? :)
Theres usually some bit of rubbish lying about that the super hero can change into an all-singing all-dancing weapon needing only a used washing up bottle and some sticky back plastic
Yep, it's amazing what you can make out of the above, plus an old fence post, an old (fully fuelled) lawnmover/tractor/jeep & assorted welding equipment. All of which are conveniantly left in the shed you are locked in.
Yep, it's amazing what you can make out of the above, plus an old fence post, an old (fully fuelled) lawnmover/tractor/jeep & assorted welding equipment. All of which are conveniantly left in the shed you are locked in.
Although not a film takes me back to the old "A Team" series where they could build just about anything and however much shooting was going on no-one ever got killed :shrug:
SMHarman
12-01-2004, 11:19
In the original Star Trek there was a toilet on the bridge. It was just to the right of the viewscreen, but it was always occupied by a cameraman!
And in true nauticle style the door said "Head"
And in true nauticle style the door said "Head"
you always knew when someone would be killed in a landing party
as there was always about 3 security guards in red jumpers
who you had never seen before and would never see again when they were, if fact, killed shortly after
In real life in cities you have to drive round for ages to find a spot to park, in films they just park in a miraculously empty spot right outside the building they want to go to!
or.....in real life in a multi-story car park you spend ages faffing about with change at the ticket machine/finding one that works and then going back to your car to display the ticket. In films, they just park and go :confused: :D
SMHarman
12-01-2004, 12:13
In real life in cities you have to drive round for ages to find a spot to park, in films they just park in a miraculously empty spot right outside the building they want to go to!
or.....in real life in a multi-story car park you spend ages faffing about with change at the ticket machine/finding one that works and then going back to your car to display the ticket. In films, they just park and go :confused: :D
I'd have to say this is a US thing, most car parks there are ticket on entry/ pay on exit or free (it is a constitutional right to be able to drive a car and park it at will.
Theodoric
12-01-2004, 12:23
a) in real life you use toilets
b) in real life people fart
c) in real life you die or get injured when you crash your car
d) in real life computers don't have many flashing lights at all, nor do they have any big red buttons
Not that I'd watch any, but does the lack of b) still apply to the more gross American teen comedies?
Atomic22
12-01-2004, 18:21
in kung fu films the hero stands with about 20 baddies around him and they are all polite and run at him one at a time instead of squidging him......
also when said baddies get hit with a pair on nunchakus they get up about 10 seconds later and take another turn......
having done wing chun for many years in my youth and getting a broken kneecap in a bout with a girlie who missed my padding and hit me on the knee with her nunchakus i can tell you it hurts and in real life you dont get up until the ambulance comes
Sociable
12-01-2004, 18:28
having done wing chun for many years in my youth and getting a broken kneecap in a bout with a girlie who missed my padding and hit me on the knee with her nunchakus i can tell you it hurts and in real life you dont get up until the ambulance comes
Worse still if you get hit by a knee in the nunchukus though. :rofl:
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