View Full Version : [merged] what to do (etc .....)
when you feel down and out have nothing to live for and might as well 'top yourself' ?
Stuart W
20-12-2003, 04:00
Umm... go to bed?
You are probably damn tired mate ;)
Umm... go to bed?
i am going to but cant sleep
You are probably damn tired mate ;)
no
read the bible? (WARNING! - Genisis reads like Tolkien, but it does have incest and offering of daughters for sex, so it is a bit racey)
Sociable
20-12-2003, 10:33
This is the worst time of year to be feeling down and alone and feel that you are running out of options.
Short answer is find someone, anyone and talk to them.
If you are not sure how feel free to PM me and I will send my number so you always have at least one person you will know is available at the other end of the phone OK
Also have a read of this and take a copy and print it out so you can re-read next time you feel this way.
DESIDERATA
Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become bitter or vain, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all it's sham drudgery and broken dreams it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful, Strive to be happy.
(MAX EHRMANN)
when you feel down and out have nothing to live for and might as well 'top yourself' ?
Avril not replied then?? (j/K)
Seriously, why are you so down?
paulyoung666
20-12-2003, 10:58
when you feel down and out have nothing to live for and might as well 'top yourself' ?
believe me i have been there there are ways out if you look for then pm me if you want to talk -------- serious offer --------- paul :)
Seriously, why are you so down?
its been ongoing for the past few months ive tried to occupy myself to keep my self happy but no help at all
i even tried doing it last night but something stopped me maybe concience or my vow never to do it im shaking as i type this
kronie huni, :ghugs: you have my number if you EVER need to talk i'm at the end of the phone....
i know what it is like to feel alone and depressed, it isn't a nice feeling, but admitting it is kind of the first step along the road.... you have friends mate, get together with simon or something... i really feel for you hun
Florence
20-12-2003, 16:01
Kronas there are times when everything seems to go wrong and nothing you can do seems to help. Its hard but always remember there is nothing in this world that is worth the loss of your life. Its always better if you share you fears, worries or feelings. You have many friends on here and in real life let them help if you prefer your real life friends not to know what is going through your mind now talk to one on here who can help. We all feel for you when things are down sleep is hard for loads of people when they have stress, or loss but it does get better. http://www.forum.nthellworld.co.uk/images/smilies/grouphug.gif
huni, just a thought, when i am feeling depressed, i generally push people away, sometimes you think this will help but it means you end up getting swallowed up in your negative feelings even more...over the last few weeks i have found the best medicine to any negative feelings is to talk to someone, find someone you are comfortable with and have a good old whinge....also the best medicine is laughter, i know it sounds like a cliche, but honestly it does help...a friend of mine is fantastic and gauging my mood and knows when i am feeling down and he always makes me laugh.... i generally come away thinking life isn't as bad as i first thought
<light hearted response> if you can't sleep get hold of a philosophy book, it is guarenteed to make you fall asleep in five minutes..... i used to read it to my nephew and low and behold he would always fall asleep :rofl: <end light heartedness>
Sociable
20-12-2003, 16:33
Just to add to the excellant advice from Kitty and Bexy think back to one of my comments in the avril thread about making sure you don't let your dreams get in the way of the real people that are all around you and will always be happy to help when you need a shoulder to lean on.
You need to learn to take the risk of trusting real people even though I know that is scary for you right now it is the answer trust me.
downquark1
20-12-2003, 16:56
Just think, "I'm here, so I might as well carry on and see what happens."
homealone
20-12-2003, 17:03
Hi Kronas
I just wanted to add my 'voice' to the expessions of support from the nice folks on this forum.
It's hard when you think you are at rock bottom and can't see any way forward, but sometimes you can gain new strength & sense of purpose, from the perspective it gives you. Try to think of some of the things that you are good at, like computers, and the things that give you pleasure, like your music & friends/family.
One thing I have to say, is that I have experienced a dear friend 'topping himself' - he left behind a lot of hurt and angry people. Selfish I know, but I still havn't really forgiven him, - and I don't want to feel the same way about you! So keep listening to that conscience!
I'm glad you are able to talk about it and I, as well as the others here who have expressed their support, will help you out any way we can. :ghugs:
Gaz
paulyoung666
20-12-2003, 17:05
Hi Kronas
I just wanted to add my 'voice' to the expessions of support from the nice folks on this forum.
It's hard when you think you are at rock bottom and can't see any way forward, but sometimes you can gain new strength & sense of purpose, from the perspective it gives you. Try to think of some of the things that you are good at, like computers, and the things that give you pleasure, like your music & friends/family.
One thing I have to say, is that I have experienced a dear friend 'topping himself' - he left behind a lot of hurt and angry people. Selfish I know, but I still havn't really forgiven him, - and I don't want to feel the same way about you! So keep listening to that conscience!
I'm glad you are able to talk about it and I, as well as the others here who have expressed their support, will help you out any way we can. :ghugs:
Gaz
well said that man :tu:
dieselking
20-12-2003, 22:08
Kronie, Talk to someone either a member of the family, a friend or your doctor, if u are feeling this down u really need to talk to someone in your home area. If u keep it to yourself it will only get worst Good luck mate :luv: :)
when you feel down and out have nothing to live for and might as well 'top yourself' ?Kronas, I have been in that situation. I think I told you some time ago about it (either you or kink, can't remember which). One thing I did realise is that if I had talked to someone about the problem, I would not have been in that situation.
Badly timed jokes (you know what I am referring to) apart, as with the others, PM/Messenger me and we can talk..
Edit: And remember, if you let the b*st*rds get you down, they are winning..
dieselking
21-12-2003, 01:10
Kronie, lots of us have been there, thought that life was a load of crap & have probably felt like ending it all at some point or another, but that is not the answer. The answer is to talk to people & let them help u through your problems.
PLEASE talk to someone :)
Florence
21-12-2003, 01:21
I have to say Kronas it will not seem such a big problem when you talk things over with friends. Nothing is as important as a life and should never be given up easily.
Everyone that has ever felt so low will tell you its best to talk and we are worried for you now Kronas. Please let us help and talk to one of us.
first of all im sorry for not replying sooner, i have been trying to keep myself busy i have been around freinds and family and they knew something was wrong straightaway, as my mood was not the same........
i am also sorry to those who have had to put up with this on the forum, especially the freinds i have on here and the mod team, i know this is not a 'support' forum for this but i really cant talk to anyone that i know as in close freinds and my family, if you all understand, i am afraid they may laugh at me
i was very nearly ready to stab myself last night, i had the urge to do it i was going to leave my room and do it but my conscience stopped me, i made a vow along time ago to never kill my ownself, i even thought about what it would do to my freinds especially my family if i did it........
im not going to go in to it too much, as i said i dont think this is the right place and im sure many would rather discuss more important issues, as to what the forum is here for
but one thing i will say a person can only take so many knocks in life, being an underachiever due to ones health ruining the chance, not being able to get a job because no one is willing to take you on, being accused of lieing about your health threatened about being locked up because your starving yourself on purpose which is false, having 0 prospects in life absolutely nothing to live for
i feel trapped i feel i need to getaway do something but i dont know.......
i know this post may look like im selfcentered, and i only think about myself but im not, if i did not care about my family freinds i would have killed myself by now, all i want to do is get some stabilty in my life, thats one thing i have never got, sure i made freinds but im talking about going out there and doing something for myself get a job, start earning helping my family with the bills, giving money to the poor, doing good deeds for people who deserve it
i dont ask for much i just ask for peace not just for me but for everyone
There is nothing self centered about posting this stuff here mate. It takes alot of guts to do it and you must be hurting to actually type it here. Whatever anyone has said in the past on these forums about daft arguments is just not important. Whats important is you are okay.
The last thing you probably want is advice, but I'll try and give you some. People telling you to just pull yourself together and snap out of it are the worst bits of advice anyone could give.
Has it got worse over the last few months ? Loads of people suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and it really has the capacity to get you down in the winter, especially if you spend alot of time indoors and have a tendancy to sleep late and go to bed late.
You might think this is stupid but whenever we feel down its not just to do with whats happening in our lives but to do with the chemicals in our brain. If you are feeling down its important to do what you can to get the chemicals which make you happy into your brain. Best way to do it is to get exercise and also, if you've definately found it worse over winter, see if you can get a SAD lamp. They blast you with high intensity light which helps give you what you need to get a balance. Avoid alcohol, caffine, chocolate, try and not sleep to much. Cos its always hard to fall asleep but easy to sleep late the next day.
There is no shame in popping to the doctors. Everyone goes through things like this at some point and the smart ones visit the doctor.
i dont think i have SAD its happend before once i quicky snapped out of it but its been a tough few months trying to keep a straight face aswell as attitude being happy but when you really try and try to do somethings and consistantly fail or not achieve what you hoped for it gets me down
As someone suggested, go and see a/your doctor and get professional advice.
As someone suggested, go and see a/your doctor and get professional advice.
due to the previous histroy i have with doctors im not going to do that
carlingman
21-12-2003, 02:39
Good to see youââ‚ ¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚¢re still about Kronas.
You have got the right idea being around family and friends when you are feeling low.
If your feeling that low and your friends and family may laugh at you then to me they are not true friends and family else they would have offered support and comfort.
Myself I am not going to pretend to know a lot about yourself or your circumstances but always try and remember the positives.
Obviously you live in a reasonable environment and have as you said your own room and you have access to a PC to be able to post here, trust me there are people in far worse situations.
To me from reading your threads you post in here in general for a 17 year old (if the age is right in your profile) you seem to have a very balanced and mature way of thinking for someone of your age and will achieve success and your goals ultimately.
Try and ignore the people that slate you and put you down and concentrate on achieving your goals and focus on the satisfaction and sense of achievement you will get when someone gives that job or career you want.
Your post does not sound self centered at all but more of a cry for help which many have given here but do seek out some professional help via your GP or similar.
Again I make no attempt to imagine what you must be feeling and going through but from a personal perspective once felt in the same frame of mind after losing my mother when i was a teenager and then having to care and nurse my father through a deteriorating terminal illness and then endure 3 miscarriages with my girlfriend.
As I said earlier look for the positives as I have done, I am now successful in my career along with partner, we now own our house and we are confident we will soon become parents.
I have been kicked so many times when I am down but have got up and battle on and you need to do the same as from my own experiences I can state that things do get better.
As I have I done, draw from the experiences of others and you will get to where you want to be in the end.
To reiterate what others and what I have said though, you need to seek some professional help and guidance.
due to the previous histroy i have with doctors im not going to do that
Yes that's sensible, avoid seeing the one person that might help ...
Florence
21-12-2003, 07:40
i dont think i have SAD its happend before once i quicky snapped out of it but its been a tough few months trying to keep a straight face aswell as attitude being happy but when you really try and try to do somethings and consistantly fail or not achieve what you hoped for it gets me down
Kronas to help you achieve try lowering your targets so each day you only have a low target to achieve this will help you as you then reach your target. We use these methods in education to help the low achievers it does work.
If you need to talk and can't talk to family or real life friends there are professional people you can talk to trained councilors who talk to you in confidence and cannot pass whatâ₠¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s said to anyone else with out your consent.
Someone on here can listen to you and some times that helps also try working in the community as a volunteer for a while this helps you to move on into paid work I know its not the same as being paid but its a step into working, like a lower target to reach. If you like music perhaps if you try a local hospital and see if they have a hospital radio where you can spend some hours entertaining patients.
Sit and write down things you like to do and see if any fall into areas where volunteers are accepted keep dates started as when you apply for work volunteer work is accepted as work experience.
Good Luck Kronas you have many friends here who are willing to help in any way you will allow them. Take care and good luck.
Sociable
21-12-2003, 11:59
Check your PM's Kronas and give me a call anytime OK.
Kronas, I agree you need professional help. Someone you can talk to without being afraid they will laugh at you. The state you are in is not a good state to be in for a long time. I understand from another thread that Sociable deals with people that have gone through a rough patch professionally. Give him a call will you?
dieselking
21-12-2003, 13:18
Sociable & Danielf are right,. U need to talk to someone & soon. If u donââ‚ ¬ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚¢t think u can go u your doctor, is there another adult u can talk to like a member of your family (maybe not your parents, another family member) or a close friend.?? Sociable can & will help u so please RING HIM
due to the previous histroy i have with doctors im not going to do thatI think that is the best thing to do mate. If you don't get on with your Doctor then you are entitled to change your doctor and see someone else. Anyone can do this at anytime and it is your right.
I do strongly suggest you go and see a GP for some advice and they will tell you what your other options are. There are also support telephone lines if you prefer to speak to someone over the phone, such as Samaritans (http://www.samaritans.org/talk/youcall.shtm).
Whatever you decide to do, bear this in mind. You are very young and you have your whole life ahead of you. If you can hang in there at the moment then I give you my word you will look back on this time and smile about it. Feel free to PM me or e-mail at keyser at nthellworld.co.uk any time.
kronie, i think we have shown here and in pm that people here care about you a lot.... i would recommend, as keyser. says maybe talking to the samaratians, they are trained and they are good.... or call sociable, he is a fantastic guy and a great listener....
just remember that you may feel like your at rock bottom, but you can get better...i think every person on this site would admit to having hit rock bottom at one time or another, for various reasons (some more times than others) but we all got out of it, and you will too
:ghugs:
paulyoung666
21-12-2003, 18:36
there has been some really good suggestions put forward for you kronas , grab at least one of them by the throat and give it a go , sod it i will even let you verbally abuse me if it makes you feel better :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
there has been some really good suggestions put forward for you kronas , grab at least one of them by the throat and give it a go , sod it i will even let you verbally abuse me if it makes you feel better :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:eek: are we seeing the caring side of paul here? :erm: see kronie that is self sacrifice for you ;):p
paulyoung666
21-12-2003, 20:03
:eek: are we seeing the caring side of paul here? :erm: see kronie that is self sacrifice for you ;):p
hey i do have a caring cuddly side you know :mad: , its just that i dont mind being verbally abused if it is going to help , it might sound weird but having a bloody good rant at someone helps sometimes as long as the person you are ranting at doesnt mind , otherwise it usually ends in a bloody nose or two :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
hey i do have a caring cuddly side you know :mad: , its just that i dont mind being verbally abused if it is going to help , it might sound weird but having a bloody good rant at someone helps sometimes as long as the person you are ranting at doesnt mind , otherwise it usually ends in a bloody nose or two :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
i know you do paul, your a big cuddly bear really :kiss:
and actually yes it does help to have a rant, i have my rant buddy, who i rant at frequently......poor lad prolly has ear infection after an hour on the phone to me, but then again he always phones back :erm: glutton for punishment obviously :p
paulyoung666
21-12-2003, 20:11
i know you do paul, your a big cuddly bear really :kiss:
and actually yes it does help to have a rant, i have my rant buddy, who i rant at frequently......poor lad prolly has ear infection after an hour on the phone to me, but then again he always phones back :erm: glutton for punishment obviously :p
or tinnitus :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
only joking :wavey: :luv:
or tinnitus :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
only joking :wavey: :luv:
prolly...but then he calls back, so i can't be that bad...and sometimes i do let him get a word in edge ways.....:p
paulyoung666
21-12-2003, 20:16
prolly...but then he calls back, so i can't be that bad...and sometimes i do let him get a word in edge ways.....:p
haway kronas where are you i fancy a good earbashing if you are up for it :tu:
or another idea , do you play any online games ????????????? , if you do then let me know and we can trade virtual punches or bullet wounds if you want :naughty: :) :) :)
kronie you have to come back soon, i am missing all the threads you start..the forum is so quiet without you :(
first of all i would like to say a big thank you to everyone who has commented on my problem and the advice you have given its shown me that people on here are caring.........
and also a big thanks to those who have sent me pm's and messages on MSN unfortunately i have no credit on my phone so i cant ring anyone at the moment im not a talkative mood anyway
i understand that i need to talk to someone and i have thought about the suggestions such as the samaritans etc but im a little uneasy at doing such things as im not a person who likes to open up infront of people i simply dont know it goes the same for people i know im just shy and dont want to impose on people i know some are there to help but its been slightly embarssing for me even to type on here
paulyoung666
21-12-2003, 21:03
first of all i would like to say a big thank you to everyone who has commented on my problem and the advice you have given its shown me that people on here are caring.........
and also a big thanks to those who have sent me pm's and messages on MSN unfortunately i have no credit on my phone so i cant ring anyone at the moment im not a talkative mood anyway
i understand that i need to talk to someone and i have thought about the suggestions such as the samaritans etc but im a little uneasy at doing such things as im not a person who likes to open up infront of people i simply dont know it goes the same for people i know im just shy and dont want to impose on people i know some are there to help but its been slightly embarssing for me even to type on here
for christs sake people are offering you help , i have even offered to let you abuse me verbally , why dont you try someone out , the fiist step is the biggest , just bloody talk to someone will you :D :D :D
for christs sake people are offering you help , i have even offered to let you abuse me verbally , why dont you try someone out , the fiist step is the biggest , just bloody talk to someone will you :D :D :D
paul be nice, or you will get a slap.....kronie has been offered help and it is for him to decide if/when he takes that help..... if he feels pushed into it at all, he will retreat back into his shell, which is not what anyone wants
so :p
Sociable
21-12-2003, 21:06
No problem Kronas and don't worry about the cost let my number ring three times and then ring off and I will know to call back and that goes for middle of the night too. OK
paulyoung666
21-12-2003, 21:28
paul be nice, or you will get a slap.....kronie has been offered help and it is for him to decide if/when he takes that help..... if he feels pushed into it at all, he will retreat back into his shell, which is not what anyone wants
so :p
ok bex :bigcry: , i feel slapped silly now , i might just go away and cry :(
first of all i would like to say a big thank you to everyone who has commented on my problem and the advice you have given its shown me that people on here are caring.........
and also a big thanks to those who have sent me pm's and messages on MSN unfortunately i have no credit on my phone so i cant ring anyone at the moment im not a talkative mood anywayNice to know we are appreciated.. :)
Seriously, I think there are a lot of people on here who care about you Kronie.. You are a good person to be on the forum.
i understand that i need to talk to someone and i have thought about the suggestions such as the samaritans etc but im a little uneasy at doing such things as im not a person who likes to open up infront of people i simply dont know it goes the same for people i know im just shy and dont want to impose on people i know some are there to help but its been slightly embarssing for me even to type on here
You have taken the first step by admitting you are having problems on here. I can understand you feeling embarassed about talking about something so personal, but, remember that the samaritans are totally anonymous, so no one will know who you are, and they may be able to help.
Hi Kronas sorry that you have some probs :cry: you know we all get them from time to time,and it does help to talk,I have missed your posting :cry: I am new to this site but you can even PM me if it will help
Most things can be worked out you just need to trust someone,its dark at the bottom but they is a light at the top,you need someone to hold the rope so you can climb out,trust me on that I have been they and its ****
Hi Kronas sorry that you have some probs :cry: you know we all get them from time to time,and it does help to talk,I have missed your posting :cry: I am new to this site but you can even PM me if it will help
Most things can be worked out you just need to trust someone,its dark at the bottom but they is a light at the top,you need someone to hold the rope so you can climb out,trust me on that I have been they and its ****
very poetic lufty....and wonderful of you to offer your support......:D and yes we have all hit rock bottom, but there is always someone around to help you out.....
one thing that has struck me from reading these posts on this thread is the real sense of community that this site has, one of our members, and a much loved member, is having problems and everyone has come out in force to help him...i think it is wonderful :D :ghugs:
Kronas,
We haven't always seen eye to eye on everything (Kate Bush still better LOL), however I strongly suggest you talk to someone, either from here, samaritans, or a new GP. You have people on here who do care, myself included, please continue to talk to us.
when you feel down and out have nothing to live for and might as well 'top yourself' ?
I have felt that way a few times, especially over the last 2 weeks.
I find that revenge always occupies me and makes me feel better!
.........being an underachiever due to ones health ruining the chance, not being able to get a job because no one is willing to take you on, being accused of lieing about your health threatened about being locked up because your starving yourself on purpose which is false, having 0 prospects in life absolutely nothing to live for........
Hey !! What's wrong with being an 'underachiever' ?? :eek: Just join the other 90% of us who feel the same !! Except in my case I am an underachiever !
Several years ago my wife divorced me and as I don't get along with my own family and all the friends we had were hers, I found myself totally alone in the world. I felt I didn't have much to live for.....but I thought "Why should I give up without a fight and let them 'win'. No way JosÃÃ*’© !!"
What did I do ?? First off, a good cry, put on my favourite sloppy record and get into a really self pitying, sad mood and let it all out !! Sounds weird doesn't it ? But you know when the music stops and you come around the only way is up. I took myself to the pub or my local club and hung around until someone I 'sort of knew' turned up. Took a few weeks but I soon found someone to talk to and they knew other people and so it went on. Pretty soon I was going out with a whole new bunch of folks having a great time and eventually found myself a new partner !
I'm still an underachiever, living in one of the most affluent areas in the country (South Manchester) seeing all the millionaires in their Porsche Cayennes and mega mansions is hard, especially when I can't really afford everything my kids want, but hey we all do our best and I know they love me for all that.
To see my little 8 year old look up from her bed, give me a big hug and whisper "Love you dad" is the best feeling in the world ! If you carry on the way you are talking you may never get that and that would be criminal !
Talk to people by all means, but the real solution is to get out and make a new life. I don't know your circumstances, but write down all the places you could perhaps go to meet new people..pub, social club, sports club or even join somewhere like that...maybe others here can make suggestions, maybe some here local to you and of your age group could meet up ??
I think you may be an Avril Lavigne fan ?? :p :p Surely there are fan sites with message boards where you can chat and arrange to meet a group of like minded people ?? The possibilities are only bounded by your imagination. :spin: Get up and go for it ! :smokin:
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 14:52
Admin Edit: Inappropriate Post Removed-Please do not post like this again.
paulyoung666
22-12-2003, 14:55
wtf is going on now :confused: , not sure i like it though :(
Can't see that being of any help, just makes you look like a ******.
Surely what Kronas needs is support through this, not people just attacking and having a go. There may be things that he needs to face as an individual, but a post like that can just push people over the edge .... bad taste
homealone
22-12-2003, 15:20
wtf is going on now :confused: , not sure i like it though :(
dunno - it does sound like 'Bug Infestation' knows 'Kronas' quite well & sometimes a 'kick up the bum' can work in cases of low self esteem?:shrug:
I wouldn't be happy if there was any malicious intent, though. :( , but for now will give the benefit of the doubt this was a well meant attempt to 'snap him out of it'?
Gaz
Although making people face up to their problems (and causes) is one way to stop a suicide, Bug Infestation, could you not have done it in PM? Was there a reason to air kronas' personal problems in public? I know he did, but that is his choice to make. It is not yours.
Admin Edit: Inappropriate Post Removed-Please do not post like this again.
Well intercepted, DP
Personally I think he was on the right track, tea and sympathy are all very well but they won't solve anything.
Personally I think he was on the right track, tea and sympathy are all very well but they won't solve anything.
Maybe he was.
I still think he should have done it in PM rather than on the forum though.
Personally I think he was on the right track, tea and sympathy are all very well but they won't solve anything.
Agreed, but anyone who has contemplated suicide needs to get proper counselling and support from their friends. Note that no one else has taken this 'attacking' perspective.
This kind of thing can really backfire.
paulyoung666
22-12-2003, 15:32
dunno - it does sound like 'Bug Infestation' knows 'Kronas' quite well & sometimes a 'kick up the bum' can work in cases of low self esteem?:shrug:
I wouldn't be happy if there was any malicious intent, though. :( , but for now will give the benefit of the doubt this was a well meant attempt to 'snap him out of it'?
Gaz
i dont think it was a kick up the bum post somehow :(
homealone
22-12-2003, 15:35
i dont think it was a kick up the bum post somehow :(
Hard to say, Paul, I think I agree with Stu it would have been more appropriate in a PM.
Gaz
Bug Infestation: If you post like that again you're gone form this forum okay.
paulyoung666
22-12-2003, 15:37
Bug Infestation: If you post like that again you're gone form this forum okay.
well that kinda covers it i reckon :tu:
No matter what people say giving someone who is depressed a 'kick up the bum' to try and 'snap him out of it' is the worst thing you can do ever.
No matter what people say giving someone who is depressed a 'kick up the bum' to try and 'snap him out of it' is the worst thing you can do ever.That is quite right. Been there, done that, and got the t-shirt.
Check out 'Bug's' previous posts (there aren't many)....he doesn't exactly come over as a 'caring' type IMO !! :shrug:
In any event a quick insight by Bug wouldn't go amiss into just how well he knows Kronas and on what basis he made his post. :rolleyes:
No matter what people say giving someone who is depressed a 'kick up the bum' to try and 'snap him out of it' is the worst thing you can do ever.
Worked for me, why shouldn't it for others? I'm beginning to wonder if Bug Infestation is my mother because that's exactly what she sounds like at times and to be frank, I thank her for that, mollycoddling me would have done absolutely no good whatsoever and I'd have probably wallowed in self pity for even longer. But anyway, different people deal with 'depression' in different way's and I'd be quite surprised if there was anyone on this forum medically qualified to treat his symptoms .. having said that though, I do agree that it should have kept to a PM but then I also think that this thread shouldn't have been aired publically either, I'm sure he's been here long enough to realise who he can and can't send a private message to get advice over this.
when you feel down and out have nothing to live for and might as well 'top yourself' ?
sometimes it is best to deal with thoughts along the lines of
a)Is it fair?
b)Is it hepfull?
c)Is it true?
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 15:52
i just felt it was time for taz to hear a proper solution to his problem. what he needs to hear is the truth, not people pussy footing around it.
i find it funny that some users, (not you scastle, not the mods either) can't accept a harsh response, or the truth though
paulyoung666
22-12-2003, 15:55
i just felt it was time for taz to hear a proper solution to his problem. what he needs to hear is the truth, not people pussy footing around it.
i find it funny that some users, (not you scastle, not the mods either) can't accept a harsh response, or the truth though
dont you think you were just a tiny bit over the top though :(
homealone
22-12-2003, 15:55
No matter what people say giving someone who is depressed a 'kick up the bum' to try and 'snap him out of it' is the worst thing you can do ever.
sorry - I didn't mean I was condoning that approach, just questioning whether the intent of the post was as malicious as it appeared at face value? A mistake, but with good intentions, as it where?
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 15:55
i see kronas just about every day and he is one of my best friends
there's a "small insight" for you :)
i just felt it was time for taz to hear a proper solution to his problem. what he needs to hear is the truth, not people pussy footing around it.
i find it funny that some users, (not you scastle, not the mods either) can't accept a harsh response, or the truth though
It's not the harsh response that the more mature members are aghast at (I don't think), it's probably the sharing of his personal history.
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 15:56
it's kinda the way i am paul
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 15:57
bifta, kronas failed to tell the entire story on certain things. it's not best to make a judgement on his history without that don't you think?
I understood where you were coming from Homealone, wasn't really referring to anyone here when I said "no matter what anyone says" just being general really.
If you know him Bug perhaps the best plan is to say these things to him in person. I guess you have good motives though if he is your friend. All I'll say is when you are in a depressed state of mind, reason isn't the thing that comes to mind most easily. You need people to be supportive really and cognizant of the frame of mind you are in and that you might not be viewing things as you would if you weren't depressed.
paulyoung666
22-12-2003, 15:59
it's kinda the way i am paul
funny you should say that , i had kinda guessed :) , i suppose it is upto kronas or whatever you are calling him to come out with the truth if he wants to
bifta, kronas failed to tell the entire story on certain things. it's not best to make a judgement on his history without that don't you think?
Fair enough, personally your post didn't bother me but you'll have a hard time convincing others.
Sociable
22-12-2003, 16:02
No matter what people say giving someone who is depressed a 'kick up the bum' to try and 'snap him out of it' is the worst thing you can do ever.
Absolutly correct !!!
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 16:04
nor. me and other people have tried to sort these problems out in person. taz is incredibly unwilling to open up to us.
airing out my thoughts here were originally(in big capital letters :)) my only way to prevent him from failing to hear what i had to say
paul, i feel if he is to open up to you guys, he really ought to tell you everything about the situation. not just the details so he can get the answer he wants
i see kronas just about every day and he is one of my best friends :)
Wow :eek: glad your not his enemy !!!!! :rolleyes:
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 16:05
sociable, i disagree. i do see where you are coming from, but i feel an honest approcah is better than "mollycoddling" him
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 16:06
that made me laugh basa
Sociable
22-12-2003, 16:07
i see kronas just about every day and he is one of my best friends
there's a "small insight" for you :)
Sorry but this explains a lot.
And yes some of us are "qualified" to offer help so please do not make assumtions about us.
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 16:08
sorry sociable
paulyoung666
22-12-2003, 16:11
should be fun when bexy pop's in later :disturbd:
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 16:12
that's a shame. i start work at 7 too
Sorry but this explains a lot.
And yes some of us are "qualified" to offer help so please do not make assumtions about us.
So how long did you spend at medical school?
paulyoung666
22-12-2003, 16:17
So how long did you spend at medical school?
wtf ??????????????????????
wtf ??????????????????????
I'm sure he can answer for himself (with something a little more sensible)
paulyoung666
22-12-2003, 16:21
I'm sure he can answer for himself (with something a little more sensible)
fair play but please dont start ;)
Sociable
22-12-2003, 16:21
So how long did you spend at medical school?
Degrees in Psychology and Social Work and a lifetime of experience in the real world. Plus a lifetime full of all the ups and downs that give some of us a better insight into the pain others may suffer.
paulyoung666
22-12-2003, 16:23
Degrees in Psychology and Social Work and a lifetime of experience in the real world. Plus a lifetime full of all the ups and downs that give some of us a better insight into the pain others may suffer.
always wondered about your nickname :D , so it would seem to me at least that you are well qualified in this sort of thing :tu:
Degrees in Psychology and Social Work and a lifetime of experience in the real world. Plus a lifetime full of all the ups and downs that give some of us a better insight into the pain others may suffer.
Does psychology qualify you to treat depression? I thought that came under mental health nursing and psychiatry/psychotherapy (sp?). In the end though if he is suffering from clinical depression, what can you do? Tell him to go and see a doctor, no amount of talking is going to do him any good unless the medical symptoms are treated
Why you gotta act like a ****** Bifta when someone is trying to help ?
Why you gotta act like a ****** Bifta when someone is trying to help ?
That's a little childish just because my idea of help doesn't fit in with yours.
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 16:35
exactly what i was thinking bifta.
nor's only contribution in the last hour has been overuse of the term ******.
Okay can we refrain from making personal comments in this thread its not helping anyone let alone Kronas.
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 16:37
unfortunately, a post designed to help him vanished...
That's a little childish just because my idea of help doesn't fit in with yours.
Its nothing to do with that, its your attempt to belittle Sociable when he's trying to help.
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 16:37
i'm not sulking really plummer :)
unfortunately, a post designed to help him vanished...
I'm sorry but I didn't see one part of your post where it could of helped.
Its nothing to do with that, its your attempt to belittle Sociable when he's trying to help.
Belittle? I'm guessing it never occurred to you that not everyone shares your persecution complex, anyway, this is not the thread for it, if you want to carry on being offensive, feel free to PM me so I can ignore it :)
i find it funny that some users, (not you scastle, not the mods either) can't accept a harsh response, or the truth thoughTelling a depressed person to snap out of it is not the truth to the matter.
I'm sorry but I didn't see one part of your post where it could of helped.
Who's to say though, for some people that sort of 'help' does work, and works very well. I've been through councelling, various sorts of antidepressants and sedatives, people smothering me in sympathy telling me it's not my fault and eventually (despite my shock at her saying some of the things she said) I realised that she was actually right, and most of it was brought on by myself, people don't need sympathy, they need understanding and they need professional help but if they're unwilling to actually seek said help then you're backing a 3 legged mule.
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 16:45
I'm sorry but I didn't see one part of your post where it could of helped.
no, cos the only way people think you can help him is by pussyfooting around the problem, instead of directly telling him what he can do about it
paulyoung666
22-12-2003, 16:50
no, cos the only way people think you can help him is by pussyfooting around the problem, instead of directly telling him what he can do about it
just a minute , you said he is a best friend , yes ???????? , so you have tried the direct beat him around the head approach ????????? , did it work then ??????????
When people are clinically depressed they support rather than confrontation. There is no benefit in telling someone who is clinically depressed that they are stupid, its all their fault and they should do this and this.
Most people gave good advice, to visit the doctor, and were supportive at the same time.
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 16:52
paul, this is the first attempt at it. we try small doses of it but he goes off on one and it's hard to take him seriously when he's trying to be threatening.
it's hard to tell how he reponded to this for several reasons
1. he hasn't seen it yet
2. it isn't here now :)
paulyoung666
22-12-2003, 16:53
paul, this is the first attempt at it. we try small doses of it but he goes off on one and it's hard to take him seriously when he's trying to be threatening.
it's hard to tell how he reponded to this for several reasons
1. he hasn't seen it yet
2. it isn't here now :)
fair play my mate , at least you answer sensibly :tu:
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 16:53
how can you give good advice when he hid important facts from you nor?
Bug Infestation
22-12-2003, 16:55
i thought this would be the best place for him not to avoid it paul
:tu:
When people are clinically depressed they support rather than confrontation. There is no benefit in telling someone who is clinically depressed that they are stupid, its all their fault and they should do this and this.
Most people gave good advice, to visit the doctor, and were supportive at the same time.
And his reponse was that he didn't want to see a doctor. Bug Infestation say's he see's him every day, how do you know that he HASN'T tried the softly softly approach already (and got nowhere)?
Sociable
22-12-2003, 16:57
no, cos the only way people think you can help him is by pussyfooting around the problem, instead of directly telling him what he can do about it
OK let's look at the evidence so far.
You claim to be his friend and presumably have been offering your "help" for some time now and just look at the result.
Doctors can and do help by providing medication that can (in some situations) help the person to cope with the painful process of dealing with the problems they face. But they would be the first to say this is only a small part of the solution as without treating the cause rather than just the symptom its a bit like treating a hole in the heart with a plaster.
It is not unusual though for individuals to need some help just to get to the point of being able to seek help let alone actually get to a doctors office.
I know you feel you are just trying to help but trust me this time you are playing with someones life and for all your good intentions are probaly doing more harm than good because of your lack of maturity and understanding.
Please be a friend to Kronas and put your own ego away for a while.
how can you give good advice when he hid important facts from you nor?
True I guess I don't know the full story. But he's said hes clinically depressed and the best advice you can give, regardless of other factors that we don't know about, is to goto the doctors and let them help.
Thing is, when you are depressed, you aren't rational. The way you think isn't how you'd normally think. People telling you to be rational and do this and this and that you brought it upon yourself isn't going to do any good. What you need is to sort out the chemical imbalance in the brain first and then you can actually start to deal with all the causes that led you there in the first place.
[edit] I actually feel a little off posting this here though, doesn't seem right to be discussing it all out in the open like this.
Sociable
22-12-2003, 17:03
Can The admins close the thread for a few nor is right this is not going to be helping anyone let alone Kronas.
no, cos the only way people think you can help him is by pussyfooting around the problem, instead of directly telling him what he can do about it
You want to try and be in kronas shoes.
I have been in a suicide state of mind, I have been down that 'road' because a few years ago I lost my grandma's in a space of 18 months, a month later a friend & colleague died so no matter where I went for period of months I was surrounded by death at work and at home. Should I of snapped out of it at the time? No, I couldn't. You cannot just snap out of it when you feel like it and I had the same sort of attitudes like you who have said Come on, Michael, you got your life ahead of you. Michael, your not looking very tidy today, you badly need a shave, you were wearing that shirt yesterday and the day before, you need to get your act together... All them comments did not help me infact made me worse, the only thing that helped was learning to accept my problems and learning to deal with them and by also talking to the people that mattered to me. It takes along time and progress should be made at the pace of the depressed person and certainly not yours.
paulyoung666
22-12-2003, 17:06
You want to try and be in kronas shoes.
I have been in a suicide state of mind, I have been down that 'road' because a few years ago I lost my grandma's in a space of 18 months, a month later a friend & colleague died so no matter where I went for period of months I was surrounded by death at work and at home. Should I of snapped out of it at the time? No, I couldn't. You cannot just snap out of it when you feel like it and I had the same sort of attitudes like you who have said Come on, Michael, you got your life ahead of you. Michael, your not looking very tidy today, you badly need a shave, you were wearing that shirt yesterday and the day before, you need to get your act together... All them comments did not help me infact made me worse, the only thing that helped was learning to accept my problems and learning to deal with them and by also talking to the people that mattered to me. It takes along time and progress should be made at the pace of the depressed person and certainly not yours.
spot on the mark i reckon , and it takes guts to post summat like that :tu:
Sociable
22-12-2003, 17:26
spot on the mark i reckon , and it takes guts to post summat like that :tu:
It sure does so thanks for that contribution Dr P a voice of reason as always.
You are so correct about the pace of the healing process. Suicide is all about people who feel they have run out of options and pushing them into a time corner only serves to reduce yet further the options open to them.
Uh Oh ........ Bexy's back, I've seen her lurking :D
The bad boys better beware :D .... :rofl:
Kronas, please post ..... something .... anything ..... please :wavey:
paulyoung666
22-12-2003, 18:18
Uh Oh ........ Bexy's back, I've seen her lurking :D
The bad boys better beware :D .... :rofl:
Kronas, please post ..... something .... anything ..... please :wavey:
and i will second that , where are you kronie ?????????????? :D :D :D :D
Sociable
22-12-2003, 18:21
Or PM one of us if that is easier.
We are just wanting to know you are OK that's all no pressure to talk.
should be fun when bexy pop's in later :disturbd:
:rofl: you're not scared of me are you paul? or do you just think i am an opinonated madam ;)
well what can i say about today's posts? sometimes it does take someone giving you a swift kick up the backside and making you 'snap' out of the mood you are in, personally i think that this only works when the person is beginning to go down that horrid spiral of depression/feeling down...at this point it is possible to make them realise that how they are feeling is irrational.... i have had people do this to me a lot.... however i feel that once a person has begun to gfet serverly depressed and has considered suicide (not just as a fleeting thought but seriously thought about it) then it is not the best tactic to try and use.... bug i see your point and it may seem that we are "pussy footing" around kronie, but what we have really been trying to do is get him to seek help, to open up to someone, maybe a member of the forum, a friend, a family member or a professional..... maybe we are wrapping him up in cotton wool a bit, but that is because we care about the lad... we are worried for his state of mind, and in my eyes we are being his friends....
i understand that you may know the suituations which are happening in his life a bit better than we do, however has he told you what is going through his mind? it is not the situations that necessarily effect us but the thoughts and the mentality behind them.....think about it, you may not agree with me, and i accept that...and if you want to discuss that then please feel free to pm me and i will reply....
secondly, i want to give dr p a big :ghugs: and :kiss: you have obviously been through a tough time...currently i am going through a pretty rough patch with certain things, and one day i may open up more to those of the forum (although some will get the gist of it from my blogs) but i don't feel i want to at this time be open about it on the public forum......
anyway was a bit of an essay from me there......i've been at work all day and have just been catching up with this thread.....
Or PM one of us if that is easier.
We are just wanting to know you are OK that's all no pressure to talk.
absolutely ..... pllleeeeeeaaaassssseeeee
Uh Oh ........ Bexy's back, I've seen her lurking :D
The bad boys better beware :D .... :rofl:
Kronas, please post ..... something .... anything ..... please :wavey:
oi shut it you :P
was posting my mamouth essay type post so :p
oi shut it you :P
was posting my mamouth essay type post so :p
*/runs away and hides from Bad Bexy /*
*/runs away and hides from Bad Bexy /*
bexy is a very nice girl :cry: (must be read in ze french accent :naughty: )
Bexy...why have you got 1 Cor: 13 as your sig?
paulyoung666
22-12-2003, 18:33
:rofl: you're not scared of me are you paul? or do you just think i am an opinonated madam ;)
well what can i say about today's posts? sometimes it does take someone giving you a swift kick up the backside and making you 'snap' out of the mood you are in, personally i think that this only works when the person is beginning to go down that horrid spiral of depression/feeling down...at this point it is possible to make them realise that how they are feeling is irrational.... i have had people do this to me a lot.... however i feel that once a person has begun to gfet serverly depressed and has considered suicide (not just as a fleeting thought but seriously thought about it) then it is not the best tactic to try and use.... bug i see your point and it may seem that we are "pussy footing" around kronie, but what we have really been trying to do is get him to seek help, to open up to someone, maybe a member of the forum, a friend, a family member or a professional..... maybe we are wrapping him up in cotton wool a bit, but that is because we care about the lad... we are worried for his state of mind, and in my eyes we are being his friends....
i understand that you may know the suituations which are happening in his life a bit better than we do, however has he told you what is going through his mind? it is not the situations that necessarily effect us but the thoughts and the mentality behind them.....think about it, you may not agree with me, and i accept that...and if you want to discuss that then please feel free to pm me and i will reply....
secondly, i want to give dr p a big :ghugs: and :kiss: you have obviously been through a tough time...currently i am going through a pretty rough patch with certain things, and one day i may open up more to those of the forum (although some will get the gist of it from my blogs) but i don't feel i want to at this time be open about it on the public forum......
anyway was a bit of an essay from me there......i've been at work all day and have just been catching up with this thread.....
me scared of you , uhhhhhhhhhhh yes absoloutly bloody terrified :D :D :D :D , having said that , top post i reckon :tu:
me scared of you , uhhhhhhhhhhh yes absoloutly bloody terrified :D :D :D :D , having said that , top post i reckon :tu:
thanks for the compliment and i'm a pussy cat really :ghugs:
Bexy...why have you got 1 Cor: 13 as your sig?
ramrod well done, thought it would take people longer to realise...why do i have that as my sig? well for certain personal reasons and well i can't escape the fact that i am a christian :D
i can't escape the fact that i am a christian :D
y would you want to bex,stand up and be counted
homealone
23-12-2003, 00:17
thanks for the compliment and i'm a pussy cat really :ghugs:
ramrod well done, thought it would take people longer to realise...why do i have that as my sig? well for certain personal reasons and well i can't escape the fact that i am a christian :D
is this it?
6 Rejoice not in iniquity, but rejoice in the truth;
7 Bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things.
8 Charity never fails: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
It is a brilliant passage, perhaps the 'best in the bible', if there is such a thing. "But then shall I know even as also I am known" is particularly evocative:)
sorry for this late reply i have been away, trying to do stuff rather then sit around moping
i would like to address something here and the thing is the art of your freinds turning your back on you giving you 'advice', as they call it or perhaps spreading around something that was personal ?
yes i opened up to a so called freind who in turn notified 'bug infestation', of my problem now i dont know what the original contents of the modded post were (if anyone does feel free to pm me excludes bug)
but you have fallen in to the hands of the UDT of other boards
now i know who my freinds really are so everyone who is physically my freind ie offline will now be shut out because as i said in my post towards the begining i cannot trust ANYONE
my point has been proved
im feeling better then i have been previously and i hope i can be back to normal soon
Undisputedtruth, yes, he's a right charmer.
Sociable
23-12-2003, 02:46
Good to see you posting kronas don't be a stranger your friends here worry when we don't hear from you OK.
As for the "missing" post I wouldn't worry it was gone before most people saw it and was on no importance anyway. Now is the time to look forward not back so hang in there and everything will be back on track before you know it.
Florence
23-12-2003, 08:06
Thats good to hear Kronas that you are getting things sorted and coming back. I hope the new year brings you the chance to continue and find happiness.
Don't be a stranger or we will worry about you.
Happy Christmas and I hope the new year brings you plenty of joy.
paulyoung666
23-12-2003, 08:43
good to see you back man , but you still never took my offer up did you :( :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
kronie, unfortunately finding out who your friends are happens to us all at some point, we put our trust in people and at times they stab us in the back, but try not to let it affect you too much, because you do have people around you who care and who miss ya.....see lok how many poeple who have commented it is good to have you back?
bexy is going to stop waffling and find somewhere else to post
edit: gaz (think it was you who asked) it is the passage which talks about love...love is kind, love is patient, love isn't self seeking, etc etc
Good to see you posting kronas don't be a stranger your friends here worry when we don't hear from you OK.
i am strange you dont know the half of it :rofl: :wavey:
good to see you back man , but you still never took my offer up did you :( :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
i have added you to my MSN i expect you to pass your number on to me and let the shouting commence :D
Thats good to hear Kronas that you are getting things sorted and coming back. I hope the new year brings you the chance to continue and find happiness.
Don't be a stranger or we will worry about you.
Happy Christmas and I hope the new year brings you plenty of joy.
thank you, and thank you all for your kind words and comments its nice to see some people are actually caring :)
kronie, unfortunately finding out who your friends are happens to us all at some point, we put our trust in people and at times they stab us in the back, but try not to let it affect you too much, because you do have people around you who care and who miss ya.....see lok how many poeple who have commented it is good to have you back?
i know what you mean have sorted 2 of them out already just need to sort the other out.........
i hope to back to normal ASAP slowly but surely i hope i can recover
paulyoung666
23-12-2003, 19:30
i am strange you dont know the half of it :rofl: :wavey:
i have added you to my MSN i expect you to pass your number on to me and let the shouting commence :D
thank you, and thank you all for your kind words and comments its nice to see some people are actually caring :)
i know what you mean have sorted 2 of them out already just need to sort the other out.........
i hope to back to normal ASAP slowly but surely i hope i can recover
top man , nice to have you back amongst us :tu:
I've not posted thus far because I really don't feel qualified to proffer advice.
It is my firm belief that you need to talk to someone who has been professionally trained.
I can understand if you don't want to talk to your GP but there are councilors who can offer a much better ear because that's what they are trained to do(something that not all doctors can achieve)and maybe just talking about a problem makes it seem much more managable.After all you do seem to be much happier when you have unburdened yourself here from time to time.It has to be much better to talk to someone who has been trained to really listen and not to talk at you (which is what you will get to a certain extent from the untrained but well meaning amateur).
Please consider going back to the college and asking to talk to the councilor there or ask if they can refer you to another trained councilor if you feel you can't face your GP.
My daughter has had her problems at uni and at a certain point was self harming.She couldn't talk to me but did,when I suggested it go and see the university councilor.It has helped her enormously and I no longer feel as concerned as I once did.The fact that she was seeing a councilor also ensured that she had an automatic place in halls of residence in her second year and that she was able to get a hardship grant this year when she need a financial boost.
I feel very strongly that this is your best option under the circumstances.I'm sure that if you check around you will find some help also from a local drop in centre for young people of your age.
Try to do something about it though because there is so much for you to look forward to despite that at the moment it might not seem like it.
Incog. :tu:
so life continues i am greatful to everyone here who has commented and gave me food for thought on my feelings, suicidal somewhat...... which are fully confused at the moment, by confused i mean emotionally i am totally out of my head would be the best way to put it.
its not that i dont care about anyone else, or that i dont like my freinds or dont give a damn about there advice on this forum, its just i struggle to show emotion at all im just like hmmm....and continue to stare i suppose its somewhat gradually stuck on to me over the past few months.
i know some have said i need to get proffesional help, but im not fond of doing it, simply because i have lost faith in anyone really to do with the 'help' secter, that includes doctors counsillers along those lines.
i am trying to keep myself occupied going out (being dul)l but trying to do something to keep my mind off doing something stupid...
at times its increasingly difficult, my sleep pattern is wayword just gone 30
hours without sleep, but i eventually got to sleep
sometimes i can be happy other times i just feel like hiting someone, other times i just feel like hiding
strange i know...........
earlier today i had one of my freinds whos a churchy recommended i turn to god the second time since i told him my problem he has said that, and i didnt even respond those of you who know me know i would have 'kicked off'
i guess thats another freindship to end, i have repeatidly told the person previously to let me live my life, and stop the imposing on me of religion
if i can actually show an angry emotion :shrug:
but i move along somehow...........
i hope everyone had a great christmas got loads of pressies and turkey
paulyoung666
26-12-2003, 08:38
at the bit about not liking professional help , have you got one really trusted friend that you could take somewhere and see someone , just a thought :)
babes noone likes to get 'professional' help but sometimes it is the only way to get out of the bottomless pit...... it is something to think about anyway :D
ok the new year is around us 2004, i hope everyone has a prosperous year this year. (those who deserve it)
im feeling better then i have been since i started this thread, but i have my days all too regularly. :(
i sit down and i think why am i so unhappy...... i have great parents, i have some great freinds, i mean you people on here, who have talked to me as well as posted on here, for which i very much appreciate you dont know how much...
i try and delve deeper in to my thoughts and this is what i see.......
the build up of negativity centered around the inability to achieve something in life, due to the past and present, one must say how can a person achieve nothing in his life ?
by nothing i mean life in general i dont mean people who have helped me on here, and tryed to give me good advice, i guess im lucky (for once) to have people like this.......
the way i have interpreted my life as it has progressed, is one with deep disatisfaction, not so much as regretting what i have done, (most of it was really out of my hands) but i thought i could show something, i mean something that would provide me with some hope that i have a future in society, i can help people as i still do offline if i am asked on various things............
at the moment im in a 'self destruct' like sequence almost, isolating myself from people the freinds who i have left........
i know what people say get counseling etc, but i really dont trust proffesionals anymore, they tend to go in to things to deep in to your family, freinds, the first mention of suicide will trigger them in to thinking there is something wrong mentally as most proberbly do.
i dont mean to offend genuine people who help in those professions, such as those but it does happen.......
but it really is getting worse in some situations, i go 30+ hours without sleeping at a time, my eating seems to have deteriorated in to a worse state.
i dont really care about life anymore on the whole, i dont really watch tv, what little tv i watched is of no interest, i dont feel like talking to anyone verbally.
if i do i dont really have much to say, even to counter something, which i feel is wrong, you could say i dont 'give a damn about anything' anymore, i mean no offense to people who have helped me but im just saying what i feel.
Sociable
04-01-2004, 13:18
Give me a call Kronas you have my number OK
I think I may be able to explain a few things about how you can get past some of the current issues and also explain how they are connected with the past ones in a way that may help you resolve enough of them to move forward.
ok the new year is around us 2004, i hope everyone has a prosperous year this year. (those who deserve it)
.
It could just be the time of year. My wife is pretty 'down' atm as well (in fact, if she hadn't married me she would be living in Australia now-poor woman, never mind :D ). Lack of sunshine and grey skies(and marrying me :D ) can do that to you. You could have 'seasonal affective disorder'.....known by its acronym -'SAD' :rolleyes:
(don't the scandinavian countries like Finland have the highest rates of depression/suicide in the world because of it?)
you sit down, you watch what people do, what people say, and you think hmm.... do i belong here ? more specifically do i know who my freinds are ? i suppose you could say no one does, backstabbing, twofaced idiocy, its all there in colour around me, and then the ever present self addicted intolerance towards yourself creaps along..........in words that proberbly would mean temp banning.........ah there is that.... also the hatred towards onesself, suppose i shouldnt complain about what happens around me, or what my problems are......but hey all i can do is sit back relax and laugh about it, so what if you cant get a job, so what if you cant get a girl, so what if you never make anything of yourself, so what if your all alone in the end ?.............i suppose there are always people worse then me, i shouldnt complain, i really dont, things get on top you, you want to self destruct but that bears no frutation, because in the end its back to square one for me........
so anyhoo i welcome your comments about any annoyances.....yeh the avril stuff i know, ill tone it down to a simmering level.........it gets pathetic for me even, oops i am pathetic.........
well there you have it... all i can do now is laugh :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Have you been taking something ..... :erm:
;)
MovedGoalPosts
02-05-2004, 01:28
I'm not really sure what to read into your post, but I don't think your currently firing on all cylinders. That's a shame since last weekend your were clearly buzzng with excitment haveing seen your idol in close quarters.
Yes you belong here, and you know you will get some level of response to posts, especially about her, if only because some delight in taking the michael (including me - but I hope you recognise that that is usually done by most posters with some levity).
I can only suggest that you get away from it all if you can. The computer and particularly forums may seem like your point of sanity, but is it?. Summer is coming. Get out there and enjoy it.
Have you been taking something ..... :erm:
;)
I think he has taken a small step back in life and is analysing his feelings.
We all do it. Who are we? What are we? What's it all about?
We look to our peers - what others are doing - we make comparisons.
Different moods affect our analysis.
I don't know you, Kronas - but such as I have seen of your input on here, you have a lot to offer. Tomorrow is another day mate - sleep on it.
carlingman
02-05-2004, 03:43
you sit down, you watch what people do, what people say, and you think hmm.... do i belong here ? more specifically do i know who my freinds are ? i suppose you could say no one does, backstabbing, twofaced idiocy, its all there in colour around me, and then the ever present self addicted intolerance towards yourself creaps along..........in words that proberbly would mean temp banning.........ah there is that.... also the hatred towards onesself, suppose i shouldnt complain about what happens around me, or what my problems are......but hey all i can do is sit back relax and laugh about it, so what if you cant get a job, so what if you cant get a girl, so what if you never make anything of yourself, so what if your all alone in the end ?.............i suppose there are always people worse then me, i shouldnt complain, i really dont, things get on top you, you want to self destruct but that bears no frutation, because in the end its back to square one for me........
so anyhoo i welcome your comments about any annoyances.....yeh the avril stuff i know, ill tone it down to a simmering level.........it gets pathetic for me even, oops i am pathetic.........
well there you have it... all i can do now is laugh :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Sorry if i appear blunt here.
Same old **** again.
If your feeling down again try reading this thread found here (http://www.cableforum.co.uk/board/showthread.php?t=5444&page=1&pp=15)
Plenty of top advice there.
;)
dilli-theclaw
02-05-2004, 08:08
you sit down, you watch what people do, what people say, and you think hmm.... do i belong here ? more specifically do i know who my freinds are ? i suppose you could say no one does, backstabbing, twofaced idiocy, its all there in colour around me, and then the ever present self addicted intolerance towards yourself creaps along..........in words that proberbly would mean temp banning.........ah there is that.... also the hatred towards onesself, suppose i shouldnt complain about what happens around me, or what my problems are......but hey all i can do is sit back relax and laugh about it, so what if you cant get a job, so what if you cant get a girl, so what if you never make anything of yourself, so what if your all alone in the end ?.............i suppose there are always people worse then me, i shouldnt complain, i really dont, things get on top you, you want to self destruct but that bears no frutation, because in the end its back to square one for me........
so anyhoo i welcome your comments about any annoyances.....yeh the avril stuff i know, ill tone it down to a simmering level.........it gets pathetic for me even, oops i am pathetic.........
well there you have it... all i can do now is laugh :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:I'm sure you've heard the expression 'Be careful what you wish for - you just may get it' - this post falls squarely in that catagory.
I'm sure you don't really WANT people to be %100 honest about you.
Having said that - since you asked - I've already said what I think, and -despite your opinions to the contrary- well over %90 of your posts in the last few months have more or less proved my opinion (and i note that at least one other person has picked up on it in a post too). But unless you see it in yourself then you won't understand this.
At the same time - I don't see it as a problem - or you as annoying. So I wouldn't worry about annoying other people - just keep doing what you are doing and chill out.
Having said that - since you asked - I've already said what I think, and -despite your opinions to the contrary- well over %90 of your posts in the last few months have more or less proved my opinion (and i note that at least one other person has picked up on it in a post too). But unless you see it in yourself then you won't understand this.
and that is ?
I don't know you, Kronas - but such as I have seen of your input on here, you have a lot to offer. Tomorrow is another day mate - sleep on it.
"you have a lot to offer" i dont know what that is, being useful ?
you pretty much summed it up in the previous points you made (which i ommited because of a long post but are still commented on)
I'm not really sure what to read into your post, but I don't think your currently firing on all cylinders. That's a shame since last weekend your were clearly buzzng with excitment haveing seen your idol in close quarters.
yes you could say i was, you saw a marked improvement, noticed it myself, i even became so sociable like my realself with others (offline) in terms of i actually talked about aspects that concerned me about others, even though it caused a distancing on freindship........it made me feel better.....
and you have to admit, its quite sad the way im fanatical about someone who i dont know, but appreciate lyrical and vocal talents, even so its borderline on being 'sad' (if not being sad)
Yes you belong here, and you know you will get some level of response to posts, especially about her, if only because some delight in taking the michael (including me - but I hope you recognise that that is usually done by most posters with some levity).
i know that, it doesent bother me really, its just me being too analytical, unfortunately telling the truh is habitual for me..........
I can only suggest that you get away from it all if you can. The computer and particularly forums may seem like your point of sanity, but is it?. Summer is coming. Get out there and enjoy it.
i keep relative sanity (at times) but there is nothing to do out there around me..
i only post stuff like this on here because i scratch my head thinking on what to do..........i could keep it locked inside and effect my health even more (been there)
ive read everything, and i still cant find a way out.........
ill give you an example.........
your in the middle of a room, there are 4 doors one on each wall, you open door number 1.... when you open it all you see is pitch black darkness........basically its a seemingly endless pit of nothing you just keep falling, full of uncertanty on when you will land (if you do)
door number 2, your freinds are there, so what do we have here........not really freinds if they backstab you, ignore you, talk about there own problems all the time, talk about the same things all the time, dont bother contacting you until there is a problem that i can help with.......
door number 3, ah yes the obligatory 'advice' section they give you, seemingly repeated by everyone who then analyses you inturn and thinks your a lazy idiot..........oh yeh and the religious aspect of trying to draw you in when your vunerable, quite amusing aspect is also whne others dont talk you seriously on your views about things, its always kronas being last at everything..........
door number 4 yep being at home, boring.........repetative.......non productive.........apart from being on the forum........when i hope to type to people about various things........looking for work........trying to get work....looking at all areas of work, i dont even know what id liek to do, so more uncertainty there!
so you see very simple eh ?
Existential Angst.
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/O-ANGST.html
Learning to know anxiety is an adventure
which every man has to affront if he would not go to perdition
either by not having known anxiety or by sinking under it.
He therefore who has leaned rightly to be in anxiety
has learned the most important thing. †â€ÂÂSÃÃ*⠙¸ren Kierkegaard in 1844
Existential Angst.
http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/O-ANGST.html
some of that i can relate to..........
If we have a close loving relationship with a specific person,
we have probably experienced longing to be with that person
when we were unavoidably separated for a time.
No other person in the world can fill that special place in our hearts.
We do not want general companionship.
We want that one, unique, irreplaceable person.
This kind of loneliness is not built on fantasy or hope;
it is a definite, experienced absence of someone we love.
:tu:
EDIT:
this description is perfect..
It is not the same as sorrow for this or that...
If someone asks me what is the matter, I do not know, I cannot say.
It may fall upon me in the midst of action.
Why am I doing this? It is vain and purposeless.
A curtain falls between me and the world.
I may try to evade it by plunging again into distraction,
but something remains to tell me this is hopeless.
I can no longer participate in routine affairs.
I seem to be excluded. My daily existence is dead and joyless.
This is the work of dread that slumbers within me
thanks zendawn interesting link...........
dilli-theclaw
02-05-2004, 18:18
and that is ?
....something I'm not prepared to discuss on the board! If you want my honest opinion then I suggest you pm me - if not then you can leave it at that.
p.s. sorry about taking so long to reply - I've just got in from work. I forgot to take my wireless card with me today so no internet :(
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