Bullying

[akane1984]

Hi i posted awhile ago that my younger brother was getting bullied in school, it hasn't stopped brother comes home in state most days.

One of the bullies lives in our next street and even trys to get to me when i am out and about now am 22 so can't really do anything about this and it leaves me feeling useless to my brother. . i have had words with the one in next street but those words seem to be falling on deaf ears.

the other 2/3 that bully him in the school dont live locally therefore ive never seen them. as for the school they are still NO help in this matter.

can anyone offer advice.

[Ramrod]

Bullying at school is what got me into karate. Once I started taking lessons the bullying stopped. He has to fight back....:2cents:

[Paulie]

Tell the school that you will let the local papers know about their failing to do anything about the matter. Also (not sure in Belfast) but you could ring ofsted and ask them about what to do.

[bopdude]

Bullying at school is what got me into karate. Once I started taking lessons the bullying stopped. He has to fight back....:2cents:

Agreed, time to stand up against these creeps :tu: there are bullying help-lines ( google ) if he needs to talk to someone outside the family, and as Rammy says, get him into a martial art, it didn't do us any harm :disturbd: :dozey: :D

[gaffer_gump]

Keep on at the school, make an appointment to see them, make another one, then another one and yer you guessed it another one if needed.

Once the kids know the school wont allow it then it should be better for all.

Beating the bullies about the head will make you feel better but it really anit gonna help. :(

Altho they can't stop it outside the gates so some kind of self defence lessons at the local center might be worth looking in to, they are great for the confidence and making proper friends.

[Mick]

Hi i posted awhile ago that my younger brother was getting bullied in school, it hasn't stopped brother comes home in state most days.

One of the bullies lives in our next street and even trys to get to me when i am out and about now am 22 so can't really do anything about this and it leaves me feeling useless to my brother. . i have had words with the one in next street but those words seem to be falling on deaf ears.

the other 2/3 that bully him in the school dont live locally therefore ive never seen them. as for the school they are still NO help in this matter.

can anyone offer advice.

Are your mum and dad doing anything? They should contact the school head, the school should and has to do something about it! Before it really gets out of hand.

The bullying sounds quite serious, when you say your brother comes home in a state all the time, this sounds like a physical form of bullying and I would contact the Police, there are laws that they can use against pupils of 10 and over which are laws against assault or harassment.

I think its absolutely brilliant that he has a brother like you that looks out for him. I have several younger brothers and one older one and would die to protect any of them. We are a close family unit with very strong bonds.

[orangebird]

Hi i posted awhile ago that my younger brother was getting bullied in school, it hasn't stopped brother comes home in state most days.

One of the bullies lives in our next street and even trys to get to me when i am out and about now am 22 so can't really do anything about this and it leaves me feeling useless to my brother. . i have had words with the one in next street but those words seem to be falling on deaf ears.

the other 2/3 that bully him in the school dont live locally therefore ive never seen them. as for the school they are still NO help in this matter.

can anyone offer advice.

Poor sod. He's lucky to have a brother like tyou looking out for him. I'd have kicked the little ****ers heads in.

[akane1984]

kickin heads in has crossed my mind but i got to be sensible am 22 and legally be very wrong to do anything. thanks for advice so far i will look up numbers for him as he finds it hard to talk to my mum n dad and i get impression he never tells me everything.

see in house or known to my friends my brother is tough big mouthed wee joker always playing around with my mates who like and get on with him so it surprises me that he is letting these guys bully him. ive told him on many occasions that sooner or later the only resort may be to turn round and smack one of them.

my mum and dad have been at school since last year about this, they really have done little to stop this. i will pass on idea of papers to mum but she is at point of going to eduacation board.

what annoys me most is that the one who lives a street away actually has the nerve to call at our house and ask if my brother is coming out, to which my brother 10/10 will shout downstairs no not coming out.

[Fingy]

Do any of the ones doing the bullying have older brothers or sisters that you could have a word with?

[akane1984]

i have never seen the ones in school but one round corner has older brother but again that guys is 15/16 and actually goes to same school as my bro and his bro.

[Paulie]

Just tell him "payback`s a bitch", and if they keep it up, they will soon find out why.

[Maggy]

Hi,I have a suggestion.Could you start meeting him from school on the occasional afternoon?This way the bullies won't know if or when you will be meeting him and the cycle may get broken.My son was being bullied as well and one way we dealt with the going home session was to send his elder sister to occasionally meet him from school.One of her looks was more than enough a fcouple of times a week to frighten them off and eventually the pattern at homecoming was broken.Possibly because they moved onto someone else.:(

The problem of course soon stopped the moment they realised my son was going to be over 6ft tall and built like a brickhouse in year 10.No comfort to your brother in the meantime but it will pass.In the meantime I think your mother must keep up her efforts if she feels it will help.Trouble is by the time she gets somewhere it may well be too late as he will be leaving school.

I also found that the HOY was a tremendous help and was prepared to meet and speak with me any time because he knew that my son was the victim not the bully.Sometimes it seems to me some HOY's fail to grasp this very important fact(and I am speaking as a teacher here).If you can get the HOY on your side it does help.

[akane1984]

Hi,I have a suggestion.Could you start meeting him from school on the occasional afternoon?This way the bullies won't know if or when you will be meeting him and the cycle may get broken.My son was being bullied as well and one way we dealt with the going home session was to send his elder sister to occasionally meet him from school.One of her looks was more than enough a fcouple of times a week to frighten them off and eventually the pattern at homecoming was broken.Possibly because they moved onto someone else.:(

The problem of course soon stopped the moment they realised my son was going to be over 6ft tall and built like a brickhouse in year 10.No comfort to your brother in the meantime but it will pass.In the meantime I think your mother must keep up her efforts if she feels it will help.Trouble is by the time she gets somewhere it may well be too late as he will be leaving school.

I also found that the HOY was a tremendous help and was prepared to meet and speak with me any time because he knew that my son was the victim not the bully.Sometimes it seems to me some HOY's fail to grasp this very important fact(and I am speaking as a teacher here).If you can get the HOY on your side it does help.

my mum has spoke to HOY numerous times this is school i went to for 5 years and had no trouble. but now that there is trouble they are handling it poorly.

i wish i could meet him after school but am working on placement year (student) and don't get off work until after 4 and my bro is out after 3.

as say the one round corner knows how i feel if he keeps it up. but ones in his school they all live far away according to my brother so i cant really get to them to have a word.

ive printed some stuff of childline website a bully diary for my brother i am gonna ask him later if he wouldnt mind jotting down what happens in this secretly and then end of week show me it. he doesnt like talking to it about mum n dad seems to feel more comfortable with me so i hope i can get him to fill this in and then i can read what he writes by weekend. may be easier for him to write it down than speak to me about it.

[Maggy]

Hi,I have a suggestion.Could you start meeting him from school on the occasional afternoon?This way the bullies won't know if or when you will be meeting him and the cycle may get broken.My son was being bullied as well and one way we dealt with the going home session was to send his elder sister to occasionally meet him from school.One of her looks was more than enough a fcouple of times a week to frighten them off and eventually the pattern at homecoming was broken.Possibly because they moved onto someone else.:(

The problem of course soon stopped the moment they realised my son was going to be over 6ft tall and built like a brickhouse in year 10.No comfort to your brother in the meantime but it will pass.In the meantime I think your mother must keep up her efforts if she feels it will help.Trouble is by the time she gets somewhere it may well be too late as he will be leaving school.

I also found that the HOY was a tremendous help and was prepared to meet and speak with me any time because he knew that my son was the victim not the bully.Sometimes it seems to me some HOY's fail to grasp this very important fact(and I am speaking as a teacher here).If you can get the HOY on your side it does help.
my mum has spoke to HOY numerous times this is school i went to for 5 years and had no trouble. but now that there is trouble they are handling it poorly.

i wish i could meet him after school but am working on placement year (student) and don't get off work until after 4 and my bro is out after 3.

as say the one round corner knows how i feel if he keeps it up. but ones in his school they all live far away according to my brother so i cant really get to them to have a word.

ive printed some stuff of childline website a bully diary for my brother i am gonna ask him later if he wouldnt mind jotting down what happens in this secretly and then end of week show me it. he doesnt like talking to it about mum n dad seems to feel more comfortable with me so i hope i can get him to fill this in and then i can read what he writes by weekend. may be easier for him to write it down than speak to me about it.

The diary sounds like a very good idea.Something that my son's school did was to send him to a course run by the local youth groups organisation for those being bullied.It was an across schools event and was designed to give bully victims some ways of dealing with bullying while building up their self esteem.It did do my son some good because he has no trouble in dealing with potential bullies at 17.He and his college friends run rings around them mentally and verbally these days but never have to resort to physical ways at all.

[Chrysalis]

as I said in the other thread he needs to do it himself.

Official advice is to get the school to deal with it but that wont work. I wonder if people advise that have ever been bullied.

From what you say its already at the stage where there is more then 1 bully and at least 3 or 4, so he needs to do something soon.

I suggest like the others to take up martial arts, that itself may be a detterant but if not enough he needs to rough one of them up, this should deter the others onto some other poor victim. Its a case of no pain no gain I am afraid and no more cotton wool for him.

[Maggy]

as I said in the other thread he needs to do it himself.

Official advice is to get the school to deal with it but that wont work. I wonder if people advise that have ever been bullied.

From what you say its already at the stage where there is more then 1 bully and at least 3 or 4, so he needs to do something soon.

I suggest like the others to take up martial arts, that itself may be a detterant but if not enough he needs to rough one of them up, this should deter the others onto some other poor victim. Its a case of no pain no gain I am afraid and no more cotton wool for him.

Frankly after the death earleir this month of a 15 year old stabbed to death in school trying to stop a fight, taking matters further like this might be dangerous.I agree that martial arts do give a child self esteem and confidence but I feel that children trying to sort things out for themselves are fraught with dangers.However that being said adults are not always able to understand the desperation that a bully victim feels.

Punky (I wonder where he is?) feels that getting the police involved should be the major step..maybe he's right in view of how many children are now arming themselves with knives.:(

[banjo]

Have a look at this site, http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/index.htm
This bullying has got to be stopped !!!

[Chrysalis]

I think my nephew is been bullied the signs are there, cant remember his age but he is around 10 I think. So has many years of it to go unless he escapes it somehow. The thing about bullying it has a knock on affect in your adult life when you leave school with no confidence and not having confidence to enter relationships.

[homealone]

I was once locked in an, aptly named, locker, and was punished, due to my absence from a meeting.

Telling on who did it was not an option, but twatting him on the chin, later, helped ;)

[lilacsocks]

Hiya

I was bullied for years in primary school, and I was constantly told by my family (parents and all older siblings) to 'stick up for myself', problem with this advice is that If I could have stuck up for myself, I wouldnt have been bullied in the first place :erm: so this advice just made me feel even more worthless.
I believe I was bullied because 1. I was incredibly shy and had zero confidence, 2. I went to school stinking of parents ciggy smoke 3. I was scruffy, I wore old knitted jumpers and same skirts/shirts all week. 4. It was a rough school in a rough council estate.
I was too shy to join clubs, and I certainly had no encouragement from anyone to do so, goodness knows how I got through it. Finally a rare friend told my teacher, who put a stop to it straightaway. (my bullies always warned me not to tell anyone - and I didnt) My parents never spoke to school or parents, even when a girl close by scratched her nails down my cheeks and left me bleeding and screaming in the street! My siblings were all leading their own lives.
I think the karate Idea, is fab, as long as your brother will do it, If the bullies know about it, that might be enough. It sounds like your giving him all the encouragement he needs. I cant give advice about contacting schools, etc but just knowing he has a brother who at least listens and cares must mean so much to him.
Do you know of anyone who has younger brothers, who are quite tough? who could warn these bullies off?
Good luck, and Hugs to your brother

[akane1984]

again thanks alot for everyones comments. off late we have noticed in house too that my brother does go out into streets much mainly because that kid round corner and his dumbass mates probably annoy my bro instreets and really there isnt anyone of his age to play with there are kids up street but they are young and when my brother plays with them he must feel out of place as he is giant compared to them.

i said to him about filling in bully diary but he wont do it. i even said if he would just do it for me and hand it in to me end of week and i wouldnt show it to anyone i just wanna see on paper what hes going through.

[etccarmageddon]

bullies are ****, I know they do it for a reason - possibily because their parents bully them but if there's anyone I feel unconditional hate for it's bullies.

---------- Post added at 10:35 ---------- Previous post was at 10:18 ----------

I read the bio for one of the gits I went to school with at friends reunited and it said how he worked in the media and his boss treated him like dirt - his bio sounded like he was a very unhappy person - this was an obnoxious lad who played sports and was once of the class verbal bullying team - he probably wouldnt even accept he'd been a bully at school if I met him tomorrow.

This lad helped other people bully me at school because he was part of a group of lads who would shout me down if I ever spoke in a leason - even when the teacher was in the class. Even one of the teachers did the same thing once - in front of the whole class took the pee out of my voice. I had an exceptionally deep voice at school. I was also struggling to put on any weight and was in the region of 6-8 stone. There was no option to stick up for yourself as bullys never work alone. Bullying is a team event about taking pleasure out of being cruel and proping up your own self worth by reducing someone elses self esteme.

Our head teacher even made it into the news of the world for a fight with his girlfriend and this was a supposedly posh grammar school.

There was one of a few decent lads at school who I remember once I walked into a new class in a room of unfriendly faces - I was the last person to enter this new class so had to find a seat, he was someone I hardly knew and had a spare seat next to him - he said come and sit next to me and my name.

That lads bio on friends reunited now says he's a school headmaster down south. His bio sounded very happy.

So it's nice to see they both ended up with their just deserts.