View Full Version : The offside rule explained for women
Not sure if this should be here or in the Humour section, but here goes anyway...
You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.
The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.
Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.
The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.
She prepares to throw her purse to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.
At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.
Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.
Dear Girls - you have just learned the offside rule
:rolleyes:
Dad taught me when I was old enough to learn it :p:
:rolleyes:
Dad taught me when I was old enough to learn it :p:
Yeah, but that was only yesterday ;) :p:
:rolleyes:
Dad taught me when I was old enough to learn it :p:
Yeah, but that was only yesterday ;) :p:
Don't be silly Nugget, it was this lunchtime.
Yeah, but that was only yesterday ;) :p:
Nugget, I'd put that asbestos suit on stand by if I was you:D
Hmmm, Nugget & nffc :redcard:
...Havent you two got better things to do like being off somewhere playing with your conkers ;)
Hmmm, Nugget & nffc :redcard:
...Havent you two got better things to do like being off somewhere playing with your conkers ;)
Oh balls...
/whips
Hmmm, Nugget & nffc :redcard:
...Havent you two got better things to do like being off somewhere playing with your conkers ;)
Don't be silly - I've been living with Mrs Nug for 5½ years. She took my conkers off me ages ago :erm: :D
Ellie, didn't you know that Nugget's real surname is Bobbit :Yikes:
Saaf_laandon_mo
25-01-2006, 15:52
Dear Girls - you have just learned the offside rule
now, can you send this to the Linesman Association so they can learn it too
:tiptoe:
OK, who had 2 days before Incog would relent and post in the sports forum in the CF sweeps? You get a CF goodie bag :)
timewarrior2001
25-01-2006, 22:59
Football is like Yorkie bars.......Not for girls.
Have you noticed how boring the match is now its a family thing?
And when the girls run on the pitch baring their fantastic spheres they get banned from the ground!!!!
Football is like Yorkie bars.......Not for Ellie.
Better... ;)
:tiptoe:
OK, who had 2 days before Incog would relent and post in the sports forum in the CF sweeps? You get a CF goodie bag :)
Anyone who mentions women,and the offside rule in football will get my attention.
Mind forget anything do do with explaining the rules of cricket..hubby has been trying for 35 years...:p: ;)
Anyone who mentions women,and the offside rule in football will get my attention.
Mind forget anything do do with explaining the rules of cricket..hubby has been trying for 35 years...:p: ;)
Now now Coggy, be fair - the way you talk, your hubby's been trying for at lot longer than 35 years ;) :D
Actually I didn't really need the offside rule explained.What I really want to know is WHY have an offside rule?:shrug:
Ellie, didn't you know that Nugget's real surname is Bobbit :Yikes:
Funny how "Bobbitt" has almost become a verb......[snip]
Actually I didn't really need the offside rule explained.What I really want to know is WHY have an offside rule?:shrug:
To stop the attacking players from staying forward and goal hanging.
Actually I didn't really need the offside rule explained.What I really want to know is WHY have an offside rule?:shrug:
To stop the attacking players from staying forward and goal hanging.
Thank you.:)
To stop the attacking players from staying forward and goal hanging.
Never stopped Ian Wright though ;)
pedantic
26-01-2006, 15:52
Never stopped Ian Wright though ;)
Meowwwww !! :rofl:
DocDutch
26-01-2006, 15:54
Never stopped Ian Wright though ;)
dont you mean nearly any1 in the English squad....other then Rooney the Terror ;)
oww okay I can name another dutchie as well .... Ruud van Nistelrooy
Actually I didn't really need the offside rule explained.What I really want to know is WHY have an offside rule?:shrug:
To stop the attacking players from staying forward and goal hanging.
Pretty pointless when you see my passing skills... :)
Better... ;)
:omg: mister nffc ..you're living dangerously now ;)
Better... ;)
:omg: mister nffc ..you're living dangerously now ;)
Ooh, I like the sound of that :LOL: wonder what she means
Ooh, I like the sound of that :LOL: wonder what she means
You'll keep :afire: (and then you'll find out) ;)
Ooh, I like the sound of that :LOL: wonder what she means
You'll keep :afire: (and then you'll find out) ;)
http://www.megalink.net/~rod/clipart/Img_0036.jpg
lol ..why the pussy? ;)
That's what I left for you to interpret... btw, who's that palar*e player in your profile?
That's what I left for you to interpret... btw, who's that palar*e player in your profile?
It's Dougie Freedman :)
And, Hmmm? I guess you're trying to tell me that you're a big pussy? :shrug:
And, Hmmm? I guess you're trying to tell me that you're a big pussy? :shrug:
Nah, he means he's now shown you his...etc ;)
That's what I left for you to interpret... btw, who's that palar*e player in your profile?
It's Dougie Freedman :)
And, Hmmm? I guess you're trying to tell me that you're a big pussy? :shrug:
Thought he looked familiar. He played for us once :erm:
[meeeow.]
vBulletin® v3.8.11, Copyright ©2000-2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.