View Full Version : Cancer
I realise this topic has been mentioned before on this forum, but till not i had realized the impact it can have on a family or friendship until today.
One of my work colleagues who i class as a Friend out of work, today found out that his (stepson) of 19 years of age has terminal cancer. Upon hearing this news, he wanted to book a holiday abroad in easter this year only to be told to take that trip sooner!!!!
At 19 years of age, he hasn't the key to the door, never voted, drove a car or anything on par with all who are reading this today. He said sorry to his mum for being ill.
What do you say to try and console a 34 year old chap who has to deal with, and keep strong for himself, his partner and the two brothers who are left knowing their brother of 19, has terminal cancer.
Please give all you can to cancer research, as i do not wish to go through what he is going through tonight.
(He would not like me posting this, so sorry if you come across it B, cant think of anything else to do but seek advice and spread the word on this heartache)
I'am sorry mate.
Life is so unfair sometimes it cant be put into words :(
All you can do is be there for him. This is so sad
etccarmageddon
17-01-2006, 23:48
I'm doing as much as I can.
I upgraded my pc so it would run the cancer research program faster and I publicise it as much as I can.
I tried to get a few people at work to load it up on their machines and I was surprised how negative they were - no one was in the least bit interested. :(
I lost my best mate to it, my other half lost her brother to it, my dead best mate's dad died of it, my aunt died of it...
so I agree with your sentiments 100%.
I find it very important to support cancer research too.
Its not just about finding a cure, its about the work they do to help those with cancer and their families and it is well worth supporting.
I know it must be a hard position for you right now, but I think just being there for your friend is all you can do.
Listen to him, and make time for him. Ask him if he needs any help in organising things. Maybe he would like to do some final things with his son.
Sorry I cant suggest anything else, but just being there for him to be able to confide in you is probably good.
Words escape me at this time, a 19 year old lad with his life ahead of him has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, what is he going through? Life can be so cruel at times. What must the parents be going through? Parents don't bury their kids it's the other way round.
Cancer research is worth every penny they get, I never ingnore a Cancer research tin or a collector for Cancer reasearch.
timewarrior2001
18-01-2006, 07:05
been through it in my family, my cousin died at the early age of 21.
She had fought cancer for 10 years.
Cancer research gets missed a lot in favour of macmillan nurses, which I find hard to differentiate between the two, they are both equally deserving.
That is so sad ---I am sorry
Well today was the day the 19 year old passed away. 6 months after being diagnosed with cancer, cancer took away another young life.
As i mentioned in my original post, at 19 he never had chance to vote but he did get chance to drive car around a racetrack, go on holiday and have a executive box at a premiership footie match.
Such a waste of a good young life, so make sure you make the most of yours and respect what you have.
RIP - Phil
:sorry:
So sorry to hear that - RIP indeed.
RIP. I'm 22, 19 seems too young to die :(
RIP.
And link me to the Cancer research program, i have a 3.5Ghz Rig here, overclocked to run this for everyone, as long as it helps.
My Nan died of Cancer, it is a sad thing, i don't remember here, but i do remember she was 49 at the time.
19 is simply too young to go.
My condolences.
My grandparents died of cancer.Three years ago my m0ther-in-law had a colostomy because of bowel cancer.My sister has just finished Chemo after having a masectomy,my cousin's wife has been fighting cancer for the last three years also and my husbands cousin has a terminal leukemia(the sort there is no cure for but he could die today,next month or in 20 years time).
So my sympathies to your friend whom I will remember when I next see a cancer collector.Actually that was last weekend when I paid up outside the two local supermarkets and for two different cancer charities.
The trouble is that there are so many cancers that they all seem to have their own charity set up for research..I sometimes wonder if they should be more centralised in their collecting.:erm:
highlandlassie
01-04-2006, 01:48
I am so sorry for your loss, I lost my niece a few days ago, she had just turned 16, I am still going through all the emotions.
The trouble is that there are so many cancers that they all seem to have their own charity set up for research..I sometimes wonder if they should be more centralised in their collecting.
I agree with that
Chrysalis
01-04-2006, 02:05
so sorry.
cancer is so depressing, I think its more common then is made public and we badly need a cure.
I am so sorry to hear that wilcoxm. I don't know what I can say, but i'll try... Someone said on here that we shouldn't mourn death, but celebrate their life. Its hard to think that, but he's true - we should. Its such a shame Phil lead a short life, but with his holiday, track driving, and footie match, hopefully with his life before he diagnosed that hopefully he led a happy and fulfilling life - albeit short.
I think Phil's death although sad & tragic can serve as a reminder just how short life is. Don't bear grudges & don't stop yourself short. Live for today, because you never know what tomorrow might bring.
etccarmageddon
01-04-2006, 08:02
RIP.
And link me to the Cancer research program, i have a 3.5Ghz Rig here, overclocked to run this for everyone, as long as it helps.http://www.grid.org/download/gold/download.htm if it comes up with 'can not find page' or similar press F5 as I think the ntl proxies are interfering with it.
Watchman
01-04-2006, 08:45
reading this has brought the tears back to my eyes, it's been a hard week for us, again...
End of June last year, my wife was diagnosed with what has been described as one of the rarest and most aggressive (read lethal) forms of breast cancer Infammatory Breast Cancer. Even though it was caught early for this form before it has spread to major organs, the prognosis is still 30%. In more than 50% of cases it has spread at diagnosis.
General practice for this cancer is to give a rigourous course of chemo, 8 sessions before mastectomy.
What could have complicated the situation somewhat was the fact that my wife was 6 months pregnant at the time, however, in the previous month a research article had been published in the "Oncology Journal" (can't remember the proper title) stating that the chances of any complications were negligible if the baby was in the 3 trimester, so my wife had her first chemo on day of diagnosis. We had already talked about a difficult decision that may of had to be made in the previous week due to the hospital being almost certain it was BC, the biopsy confirmed it. So carrying on with the pregnancy was a bright light.
The treatment plan was laid out in front of us, 4 lots of one chemo, baby by C section so it was at a controlled point in the treatment cycle, 4 lots of a different chemo, bilateral mastectomy due to the nature of the beast, radiotherapy and then hopefully (and maybe a little controversially) herceptin.
All went ahead, chemo did its job well, letters left right and centre to try and get funding for the herceptin, which we managed to get again due to the nature of the beast!
Baby born, 3 days later, next round of chemo, a week later we met the surgeon and had the dates pencilled in for middle of december.
But cancer doesn't follow any rules or treatment plans, within 3 weeks of giving birth, the cancer returned, a flare up under treatment was how it was described to us. Herceptin would now be given straight away and Jen had to have emergency surgery on one side only, which she had, 4 weeks after the C section.
This cancer effects the skin on the breast as well as the insides, and due to this flare up, the margins weren't there to cut away as they were before but they did get everything, only leaving traces on the chest wall that found on the biopsy done at the time so aggressive radiotherapy was started sooner than it would have to "mop" this up. Around this time, her sister went for a check up, the whole family now are entitled to extra ones, and it was found she had BC as well but luckily, not the same big nasty as my wifel.
On this journey you learn all sorts, such as the ways to treat cancer can be described as slashing, burning and poisoning! (surgery, radiotherapy and chemo) and that surgery and radiotherapy are the most effective.
During the radiotherapy, herceptin was started, and part way through, it was swelling was noticed under the other arm, this after the first dose of the drug and then went down a bit by the following week.
It was now December, the planned surgery was now cancelled until everything was under control. Time for staging scans. MRI, X rays and ultrasounds. A biopsy was also performed on the slight swelling.
We had to wait 2 weeks for the results of everything and boy that was hard. The scans came back clear so the cancer hadn't spread, but the biopsy found traces (but the scans showed nothing).
Round 2 of chemo started the day before christmas eve, and it was decided to use a real heavy duty chemo regime called MVP, which included a platinum based drug called cisplatin. This drug is only used in worse case scenarios due to the nastiness of it, people are likely to give in early whether by choice or not due to the side effects. Incedently, it's the drug that was given to Lance Armstrong and he went on to win the Tour de France! Not much likelyhood of my wife doing that though!!!!
It was proposed that there'd be 4 cycles and then surgery around easter time. Remember earlier, if you're still with me, rules don't seem to get followed.
Jen was coping very well on the drug, surprisingly well in actual fact and her hair didn't drop out, she was bald as a coot last summer. So it was decided that they'd extend the treatment to 6, I suppose in laymans terms, "just to make sure". Even though, after the 4th she had a blood transfusion, to top her up with some missing good stuff! Her consultant went to see her whilst having this and commented on how well she looked considering!! I think they didn't expect to get this far on the chemo, it's that bad. She'd had further staging scans and again they came back clear.
Had the 5th dose, and that's when it went to pot, she just didn't pick up, constantly being sick, tired, pain that only morphine could mask (all side effects)and finally a temperature. So on Monday, she went up to hospital and she's been their all week the temperature hasn't gone down and her blood counts haven't risen even with tranfusions and antibiotics. We were due to go away tonight, for a 40th birthday down in somerset, but instead she's in hospital, gutted as we were looking forward to it. It seems we just can't plan a thing..we'd booked a week in the Algarve for the end of last month, just before the chemo started again back in December but that had to be cancelled, due to go to a concert in London and stay the night in a hotel round the corner a couple of weeks ago, but due to the extra chemo, cancelled.
We'd got our heads round surgery planned for 11th May, planned just after the 5th cycle, but now that's changed again, looks like it'll be next month as Jen's consultant isn't happy about giving any more of this chemo.
One day, we'd just like to be able to book something and try to have some semblance of normality. Not living round constant unrelenting cycles. Hopefully that will happen soon.
In the words of a friend of mine, "This b&$t&rd thing has got to be beaten!"
When I was at the hospital the other night, Jen told me this phrase that she'd read on some support forum somewhere...
They gave me an MRI so I know I've got a brain, they've given me an Xray so I know I've got a heart, now all I need is to see the Wizard for some courage.
heck, she's stronger than I am.
http://www.herts-essex-news.co.uk/news/observer/2005/09/22/mum%20wins%20fight%20for%20life-saving%20cancer%20drug.lpf
etccarmageddon
01-04-2006, 08:54
good luck Graham and Jen.
liamboyle06
01-04-2006, 09:56
Words can not express how sorry I fell for everyone who has had experience of this.
I really do sympathise with everyone.
I also try my best in giving to lots of cancer charities, and will download the program when I get back.
My parents were always very close and very much in love. They always said when their time came they would go together rather than be a burden on anyone.
Well my dad was diagnose with bowl cancer and went through the normal courses of treatment and seemed to be doing ok but had a few complications. We always thought he would pull through becasue he was very strong but was shocked one day to be told by the doctors he only had two weeks to live ! We went from having some hope to nothing.
We all wanted him to try and fight it but we knew deep down he would not and just wanted to go to make it easier on us. Mum spoke to him and told him to fight it but I knew he wanted to go.
That same day when being pushed around the hospital he saw three painting for sale in the hospital corridor. A sunrise, the sea and a sunset, which he thought, reflected his life. He brought them for mum and then went back to the ward; he died about 4 hours later with my mum and me at his side. We were both hugging him at the time he died, I look up at his face and his eyes where both still opened but I knew he had gone.
The last thing I did for my dad as my mum still hugged him was reach up and close his eyes, he was a great husband, father and grandad and I miss him so much.
Mike
I can't believe how many lives this affects, just reading here. It's affected all my family at one point or another, especially at christas when my nan slipped away.
Mike, i'm sorry to hear it, the pictures seem to be something put there to let him know his time was up. I'm sorry it had to be this way for us all.
EDIT: On a side note i am now running the program 5% through my first Unit.
Found the MacMillans nurses charity collecting today...A charity that exclusively trains and provides nurses for terminally ill cancer patients to be nursed at home until they die.
etccarmageddon
01-04-2006, 21:03
...I also try my best in giving to lots of cancer charities, and will download the program when I get back.thank you.
and Graham/Watchman, I have my fingers crossed for you.
---------- Post added at 21:01 ---------- Previous post was at 21:00 ----------
...EDIT: On a side note i am now running the program 5% through my first Unit.brilliant.
---------- Post added at 21:03 ---------- Previous post was at 21:01 ----------
...The last thing I did for my dad as my mum still hugged him was reach up and close his eyes, he was a great husband, father and grandad and I miss him so much.
Mikesorry about your loss.
http://www.grid.org/download/gold/download.htm if it comes up with 'can not find page' or similar press F5 as I think the ntl proxies are interfering with it.
I have 3 pc's here doing not that much.
Count them in.
I have 3 pc's here doing not that much. Count them in. That's it, great way to do things.
I'm on 89% of my 3rd Unit of work.
No noticeable difference in performance, except the excess heat from continous 100% CPU usage. The ultimate burn-in :)
That's it, great way to do things.
I'm on 89% of my 3rd Unit of work.
No noticeable difference in performance, except the excess heat from continous 100% CPU usage. The ultimate burn-in :)
If it keeps the room warm...
Besides, all of my grandparents were caught by the big c...
MadGamer
01-04-2006, 23:34
Ive downloaded the client. Have we got a team set up?
EDIT: We Have
Sincere love and God Bless to all who are hurting here. x
etccarmageddon
02-04-2006, 00:38
I have 3 pc's here doing not that much.
Count them in.:)
---------- Post added at 00:38 ---------- Previous post was at 00:34 ----------
Ive downloaded the client. Have we got a team set up?
EDIT: We Haveyeah I didn't know there was one!
http://www.grid.org/services/teams/team.htm?id=0ED1ADA8-3403-4FF3-A94D-26F247F0D2C9
http://www.grid.org/services/teams/team_members.htm?id=0ED1ADA8-3403-4FF3-A94D-26F247F0D2C9&ord=RESULTS
I've just joined it.
budwieser
03-04-2006, 18:35
:( I`ve already belonged to http://www.dslreports.com/forum/disco Team for 4 years now and i see i can`t join the cable forum Team without giving it up!!!!!!!!:mad:
I had Cancer and beat it which is why i started `Crunchin`!!
One day we will beat cancer and it will be one of the greatest achivements man has made
orangebird
05-04-2006, 08:50
Goodness me, what a thread. If I wasn't sat at my desk I'd be crying my eyes out. Cancer affects 1 in 3 people in some way. I had a scare 6 years ago, and had cancerous cells removed. My aunty died at 33 (breast, lung and ovarian). My great uncle died at 76 (lung). My nanny died at 65(lung). My grandad died at 67(oesphagus). Another aunty had melanoma, but beat it. My cousin has had leukemia since he was born - he's now 17. A friend is learning to deal with life after a colostomy following bowel cancer. My friends mum died a 54 after ovarian cancer. My sister is currently waiting for results on a biopsy for lumps found in her breast. My best friend has had two biopsies at different times from lumps in her breasts, both thankfully benign. ****ty ****ty disease. Roll on a cure.
etccarmageddon
05-04-2006, 10:49
:( I`ve already belonged to http://www.dslreports.com/forum/disco Team for 4 years now and i see i can`t join the cable forum Team without giving it up!!!!!!!!:mad:
I had Cancer and beat it which is why i started `Crunchin`!!as long as you're running the cancer research program I'm a happy bunny. :)
as long as you're running the cancer research program I'm a happy bunny. :) I was out yesterday, so to make up for lost time left it running overnight, i may start do that more regularly as it works pretty well.
I've done alot of work unit, and keep getting the pc compared to the high-end desktop, with a rating of 146 at times. I think that means it's quite fast at what it does ;)
etccarmageddon
05-04-2006, 14:44
I've had my AMD 2600 running 24 hours a day for a few years now - no problems. I was told this would reduce the life of the CPU but it hasn't - same applies to my work pc which I leave on all the time.
Well, 7 weeks after i first posted this thread, and attending a very emotional funeral of a 19 year old, I now face attending my own Nan's funeral next week. She passed away on Sunday from lung and liver cancer. Within 1 week of finding the cause of her illness, she is not with us anymore.
Cancer has been a big part of my life for the past 3 months, hence I have now rejoined the UD agent project after upgrading my PC to be able to cope with the added processer activity. May i add that the processer activity is minimal to any machine, but i wanted to add my bit and do a little more.
I urge ALL who view this thread to download and join our team at http://www.grid.org to help beat and help find a cure to this awful awful awful disease which take away lives at any age and effects all around us.
You dont pay to download it, or pay to be a part of it. But when they find a cure, you can be proud that you helped to save many thousands of lives.
Edit - Thanks to all for kind comments reference original post. MW
Well, 7 weeks after i first posted this thread, and attending a very emotional funeral of a 19 year old, I now face attending my own Nan's funeral next week. She passed away on Sunday from lung and liver cancer. Within 1 week of finding the cause of her illness, she is not with us anymore. Cancer has been a big part of my life for the past 3 months, hence I have now rejoined the UD agent project after upgrading my PC to be able to cope with the added processer activity. May i add that the processer activity is minimal to any machine, but i wanted to add my bit and do a little more. I urge ALL who view this thread to download and join our team at http://www.grid.org to help beat and help find a cure to this awful awful awful disease which take away lives at any age and effects all around us. You dont pay to download it, or pay to be a part of it. But when they find a cure, you can be proud that you helped to save many thousands of lives. Edit - Thanks to all for kind comments reference original post. MW My condolences mate, tha's very sudden, i can imagine how you're feeling.
The agent is running on this PC and my other. It's still going.
Such a sad thread but hopfully some good will come from it. Watchman please keep us up to date with how your wife is doing, you and your family are in my thoughts
Watchman
22-05-2006, 19:49
Such a sad thread but hopfully some good will come from it. Watchman please keep us up to date with how your wife is doing, you and your family are in my thoughts
just an update as I'm sure not Jules would be interested..
Jen was in hospital for 10 days in total when I posted earlier.
Her consultant was so pleased with the results then, that he was quite happy for the mastectomy to remain the 11th May and pronounced a complete clinical response.
That has now been and gone, then today, she had the follow up on the pathalogical findings of what was removed.
Good news, everything that was removed was totally clear. There was evidence of cancer being present but absolutely no trace was found, so the treatment was a complete pathological response.
Next leg is 3 weeks intense radiotherapy in June.
She's already been told that she'll be on herceptin for a second year or at least until the findings of the current trials have been released on whether there is any clinical need, at the earliest next May.
For the first time in nearly a year, we have managed to relax and now we can plan a few things such as a holiday.
Although, we can never ever be totally off guard due to the nature of cancer and breast cancer especially, the light at the end of the tunnel is now not that damn train coming the other way!
Thanks for all your thoughts and well wishes. It's heartening to know that people actually care for others that they don't really know.
For all those still fighting and those who've been left behind, my thoughts are still with you.
Thank goodness she is ok, i know of someone who recently passed away from this, it hit the community around where she lived pretty hard. She was unlucky.
My thoughts are with her.
On the positive side, hopefully this means she's beat it fully? correct?
Watchman
22-05-2006, 22:41
On the positive side, hopefully this means she's beat it fully? correct?
i hate to say it, we'll never know... :mad:
it lurks in the system, especially the form Jen has, inflammatory breast cancer
being in the lymph system early on if not from the beginning, means it could be hiding anywhere still dormant :(
it's ruled our lives for the last 11 months so we're going to not let it get to us any more
i hate to say it, we'll never know... :mad:
it lurks in the system, especially the form Jen has, inflammatory breast cancer
being in the lymph system early on if not from the beginning, means it could be hiding anywhere still dormant :(
it's ruled our lives for the last 11 months so we're going to not let it get to us any more
I know how you feel, but hey, great news on the all clear.
:tu:
budwieser
22-05-2006, 23:05
i hate to say it, we'll never know... :mad:
it lurks in the system, especially the form Jen has, inflammatory breast cancer
being in the lymph system early on if not from the beginning, means it could be hiding anywhere still dormant :(
it's ruled our lives for the last 11 months so we're going to not let it get to us any more
Cancer is the most prevailant disease in our known society mate, when i had my Hodgkins Disease i was told that there are over 200 different kinds of Cancer.
The best thing to do is to have a POSITIVE attitude towards beating it and this will be about 95% of the treatment. You have to convince your wife that she must believe she will beat it and combined with the Treatment, she will.:tu: I was told this by my doctors and it did work, tell her to push all doubts and negative thoughts from her mind and , basically, help yourself get better. A positive mental attitude compliments the medical treatment a thousand fold. I know. I`ve been clear for 18 years now and that was after the cancer had travelled down my neck into my chest.
Anything you want to ask me, please PM me or ask me for my phone number so your wife or yourself can `phone me and i`ll try to reassure her and yourself.
All the best.
Neil.:)
etccarmageddon
22-05-2006, 23:35
all the best to Jen, watchman and budwieser.
TheDaddy
23-05-2006, 00:19
Cancer is the most prevailant disease in our known society mate, when i had my Hodgkins Disease i was told that there are over 200 different kinds of Cancer.
The best thing to do is to have a POSITIVE attitude towards beating it and this will be about 95% of the treatment. You have to convince your wife that she must believe she will beat it and combined with the Treatment, she will.:tu: I was told this by my doctors and it did work, tell her to push all doubts and negative thoughts from her mind and , basically, help yourself get better. A positive mental attitude compliments the medical treatment a thousand fold. I know. I`ve been clear for 18 years now and that was after the cancer had travelled down my neck into my chest.
Anything you want to ask me, please PM me or ask me for my phone number so your wife or yourself can `phone me and i`ll try to reassure her and yourself.
All the best.
Neil.:)
This is so true, I used to work with Cancer patients, so many just gave up and despite the fact it has touched all our lives in some way it is not always the death sentence it once was.
That is such good news Watchman and thank you so much for letting us know.
I hope she goes from strength to strength, here is a big hug for you both
http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/4.gif
Humans and Science rock :)
Macca371
23-05-2006, 00:46
This is a sad thread. :( For some reason, I always associate cancer with the much older population but really anyone is at risk.
Watchman
23-05-2006, 07:01
Cancer is the most prevailant disease in our known society mate, when i had my Hodgkins Disease i was told that there are over 200 different kinds of Cancer.
The best thing to do is to have a POSITIVE attitude towards beating it and this will be about 95% of the treatment. You have to convince your wife that she must believe she will beat it and combined with the Treatment, she will.:tu: I was told this by my doctors and it did work, tell her to push all doubts and negative thoughts from her mind and , basically, help yourself get better. A positive mental attitude compliments the medical treatment a thousand fold. I know. I`ve been clear for 18 years now and that was after the cancer had travelled down my neck into my chest.
Anything you want to ask me, please PM me or ask me for my phone number so your wife or yourself can `phone me and i`ll try to reassure her and yourself.
All the best.
Neil.:)
good post mate!:)
jen is one of the most positive people I know. She's harldly stopped smiling over the last year which has kept her looking well. All our friends have said if anybody can manage to beat it, she can!
her oncologist commented on how well she was looking even when she was on the cisplatin chemo, of which she had 5 doses, usually 4 is the max and many people don't make that without complications. Anybody who has read the Lance Armstrong book will remember.
We've got a young family, so she's got everything to live for, life is too short as it is and we've so many plans and experiences to share with the children!:tu:
she's even looking forward to going back to work in a few months after the radio therapy and all the other poison that has been pumped into her system over the last year has cleared
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