View Full Version : What do i do?
I been going out with my gf for 9 months now and after a arguement with her mom she moved in with me and my mom.
Now call her mom dysfunctional but a few months back my gfs younger sister got kicked out to. And she moved in with us to.
Now since I have Sky+, Telewest bb and a phone in my room i tend to not go downstairs and share a tv. I spend most my time in my room and so did my gf as she has a networked laptop in here to. Since her sister has moved in i have hardly seen her. Tonight she said we would cuddle up and watch a film together. It never happened she stopped downstairs with her sister and her friend.
I dont want to sit downstairs with 3 girls. So i went down and asked if my gf to come upstairs so we could watch a film. She said no.
I dont know any more if i want to be with her as it feels i am single anyway as i hardly see her anymore
What do i do?
Any advice please
smicer07
08-10-2005, 22:26
Sit her down and tell her you feel unwanted and just be honest with her, mate. Tell her exactly how you feel. If she's angry with you, then something is up.... That's what I'd do anyway.
Sit her down and tell her you feel unwanted and just be honest with her, mate. Tell her exactly how you feel. If she's angry with you, then something is up.... That's what I'd do anyway.
I have done. All she keeps saying is sorry i will try harder but it only lasts like day then its back to normal
Couldn't you ring the mother and tell her to come and get her daughter?
Couldn't you ring the mother and tell her to come and get her daughter?
She dont want to go back with her mom.
Wicked_and_Crazy
08-10-2005, 22:57
She dont want to go back with her mom.
But you also dont need her sister there and you dont have any obligation to take her sister in. I feel the issue is with her sister bening there and this is what is causing your g/f to be torn between two people.
Well if i was you i'd get the other sister back home regardless of what she wants otherwise your relationship sounds doomed!!!!
How old is her sister?
Could you not talk to her about this?
She might be feeling in the way anyway so maybe your gf is just trying to make her feel more welcome?
How old is her sister?
Could you not talk to her about this?
She might be feeling in the way anyway so maybe your gf is just trying to make her feel more welcome?
She is 16 just turned
I have been in the same situation as your girlfriend, with my older sister. We didn't live with her bf though, but one of her friends from work, and i was 16, my sister was 20.
Because it was my sister's friend we stayed with- and not mine- i felt awkward being there and my big sister felt she had to look out for me in the situation we were in anyway.
I understand you feeling like this but if i were you, i'd just be a little bit more patient, as hard as it is.
Your girlfriend will have taken it as her duty to look after her sister as they haven't got their mother at the moment.
As long as you have your girlfriend there and she is grateful that you are doing this for her, then remember how lucky that you have her, and that you are in a position to help her and her little sister at a time like this.
If she cares about you she will never forget how amazing you are being for helping her out.
But remember not to be too demanding on her.
How old are you?
Do you want a romantic answer?
Do you want a truthful answer?
Be there for someone yes.
Get used NO!
Sit her down and tell her you feel unwanted and just be honest with her, mate. Tell her exactly how you feel. If she's angry with you, then something is up.... That's what I'd do anyway.
this is the way to go i think , but you all so have to think about where can they go if they want out .
I think you should try and sit her down and tell her that she isnt making an effort. If she seems to be promising to change and isnt doing so then its time she knows the truth of it all.
Maybe you could have a word with the sister too to tell her to give you and your gf some space from time to time.
I think you definately need to not accept any more promises from her and if she continues to not change, you need to tell her that a) you are her boyfriend and your relationship is more important, and 2) she is living in your house so needs to make more of an effort anyway.
Good luck.
Give and take, tell her you will spend time with her and her sister but that you also need time alone together
sir_drinks_alot
09-10-2005, 12:10
She is 16 just turned
Tell her that she's out stayed her welcome and that she will be kicked out of the
House on a set date whether she's got a place to go or not. the girl will soon go running home ones she realizes she may end up homeless. :)
She can't go home her mum has kicked her out
sir_drinks_alot
09-10-2005, 12:12
She can't go home her mum has kicked her out
It would help tham sort things out. :)
I think you are all being a tad hearsh to be honest.
Where is the OP to give his views?
I think you are all being a tad hearsh to be honest.
I'm left wondering how Mark's mum is doing in all this!! She has her son's girlfriend living there and now the g/f sister! Not the perfect scenario at all!! Everyone needs sitting down and sorted out!!
I think you are all being a tad hearsh to be honest.
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: i thnk so to ................
Is the 16 year old paying her way?Is she at school?Is there any financial support for her?
I guess this is where relationships fail.I think that you must talk to her and just suggest that there is a timetable in which she fits in alone time with you during the week.All couples have to do this when they have their own children and if you and your gf can't do this with her 16 year old sister in the house it doesn't bode well for the future and any possible children you may have if and when the time arrives. :erm:
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: i thnk so to ................
Thanks, even if i did spell harsh wrong :blush:.
I agree with some of the other posters though, it isn't the perfect scenario.... but then again i still stand by what i said in post #10.
Tell her that she's out stayed her welcome and that she will be kicked out of the
House on a set date whether she's got a place to go or not. the girl will soon go running home ones she realizes she may end up homeless. :)
I'll 2nd that one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sir_drinks_alot
Tell her that she's out stayed her welcome and that she will be kicked out of the
House on a set date whether she's got a place to go or not. the girl will soon go running home ones she realizes she may end up homeless. :)
I'll 2nd that one.
Seems harsh to me. She is only 16!
I been going out with my gf for 9 months now and after a arguement with her mom she moved in with me and my mom.
Now call her mom dysfunctional but a few months back my gfs younger sister got kicked out to. And she moved in with us to.
Now since I have Sky+, Telewest bb and a phone in my room i tend to not go downstairs and share a tv. I spend most my time in my room and so did my gf as she has a networked laptop in here to. Since her sister has moved in i have hardly seen her. Tonight she said we would cuddle up and watch a film together. It never happened she stopped downstairs with her sister and her friend.
I dont want to sit downstairs with 3 girls. So i went down and asked if my gf to come upstairs so we could watch a film. She said no.
I dont know any more if i want to be with her as it feels i am single anyway as i hardly see her anymore
What do i do?
Any advice please
the best thing to do is sit your girlfreind down and basically tell her that you feel neglected, be diplomatic in the sense that explain to her that does not mean spending everyone minute and second with her but that you want to do activties together, as a couple, thats what relationships are about spending moments and memories with each other.
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Well if i was you i'd get the other sister back home regardless of what she wants otherwise your relationship sounds doomed!!!!
correct martin, try and leverage to get the sister back to her mothers.
correct martin, try and leverage to get the sister back to her mothers.
Sorry but i completely disagree with this point of view.
I have been thinking about this, and I think the OP is being a little bit selfish.
Yes, he is doing a fantastic thing by letting them stay. Or rather- his mother is seeing as its most likely her house.
But i still don't see how he could consider splitting with her simply becasue she is giving her sister more attention than he is.
There are a few possible scenario's here of course- as we don't know the full story. Either she is using him for a place to stay then he would be correct in considering splitting with her.
Or she is merely looking after her sister as she is more important than her boyfriend- and OP is being a brat about it.
He needs to figure out if she's using him- or if that's not an option then he needs to be patient. Just my opinion on this.
But i still don't see how he could consider splitting with her simply becasue she is giving her sister more attention than he is.
well i never said to split up with her, which i dont think is the right thing to do, but hes frustrated that its been a few months seemingly of this and he doesent want the relationship to become distant.
He needs to figure out if she's using him- or if that's not an option then he needs to be patient. Just my opinion on this.
i dont think hes being used, well its a possability, but it seems that angelus is stating that hes has become disenfranchised somewhat interms of being deprived of quality time with his girlfreind, he has done well in bringing in the younger sister in to his home, but he doesent want his girlfreind to be with her all the time, it defeats the object of a relationship, i dont think its selfish at all, we dont know the full facts im going on what he has posted.
sir_drinks_alot
09-10-2005, 19:32
Seems harsh to me. She is only 16!
Not at all some times you have to give tough love in order to get things done
Saying she's only 16 is no excuse from the hard realities the girl will have to
face in life. it's better to teach her now that she won't always have things her own way than have the lass be disappointed in future. :)
well i never said to split up with her, which i dont think is the right thing to do, but hes frustrated that its been a few months seemingly of this and he doesent want the relationship to become distant.
I think the OP said this in the first post, that he didn't know if he wanted to be with her anymore or something like that.
i dont think hes being used, well its a possability, but it seems that angelus is stating that hes has become disenfranchised somewhat interms of being deprived of quality time with his girlfreind, he has done well in bringing in the younger sister in to his home, but he doesent want his girlfreind to be with her all the time, it defeats the object of a relationship, i dont think its selfish at all, we dont know the full facts im going on what he has posted.
In a way, i can understand that he would feel like this, but my point is that she and her sis are obviously having to stick together, they don't have their mother to turn to so his gf has to look out for his sister.
Like i have said previously, i was in this situation and i think the girlfriend wouldn't be too concerned about how her boyfriend didn't feel the centre of attention.
Angelus should be more respecting of the two sisters' relationship they need to look out for each other.
BUT... we don't know the full story i am basing my opions on what he's wrote, and possibly some assumptions i've made ;).
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Not at all some times you have to give tough love in order to get things done
Saying she's only 16 is no excuse from the hard realities the girl will have to
face in life. it's better to teach her now that she won't always have things her own way than have the lass be disappointed in future. :)
Again, i don't agree with this to an extent.
This 16 year old will be feeling pretty vulnerable at the minute- and having her sister there will teach her that you can some trust people. Seeing as she can't rely on her mother.
Hard realities in life shouldn't be taught by your closest family not wanting you.
Especially if this is made to be the case by her sisters boyfriend.
If he wants to try kick the 16 yr old out he is basically forcing his gf to choose between him or the sister..
What sort of person would that make him??
Sorry but i completely disagree with this point of view.
I have been thinking about this, and I think the OP is being a little bit selfish.
He is being selfish? ROFL Is it not his house that the girl is staying in? Selfish I THINK NOT!! Mark asked the g/f to spend a little quality time together and she said NO! I think i can see who is being selfish!!
Yes, he is doing a fantastic thing by letting them stay. Or rather- his mother is seeing as its most likely her house.
Spot on :tu:
But i still don't see how he could consider splitting with her simply becasue she is giving her sister more attention than he is.
IF the gf is showing more attention with the girl then it is she that is being selfish!! The girl had a disagreement with her mum BOOHOO i had lots with my mum and dad when i was that age difference is i didn't run off or put myself in a position of getting the elbow!!
There are a few possible scenario's here of course- as we don't know the full story. Either she is using him for a place to stay then he would be correct in considering splitting with her.
Or she is merely looking after her sister as she is more important than her boyfriend- and OP is being a brat about it.
Mark has been more than generous but this isn't a long term solution and that is were it is likely to be headed!! Time to sit down and look for a better solution!! The girlfriend herself should realise it needs sorting or maybe she think's she can have her little sister there while she find's her own place!
He needs to figure out if she's using him- or if that's not an option then he needs to be patient. Just my opinion on this.
I don't know the full facts to make a judgement but i stand by the point he, his mum and the two girls need to have a chat about the future!!
sir_drinks_alot
09-10-2005, 21:08
Or do what my neighbours doing with her 16 year old neice say she's more than welcome to stay but in return for she must pay her way. :) that seems like the
sort of Option your looking for. :)
He is being selfish? ROFL Is it not his house that the girl is staying in? Selfish I THINK NOT!! Mark asked the g/f to spend a little quality time together and she said NO! I think i can see who is being selfish!!
I agree with a lot of what you are saying.
But i still stand by my every word on this thread- he is possibly being too demanding on her.
I'm not saying that its okay for her to be ignoring him completely. Merely what i just said, he needs to be careful he isn't being too demanding on her, because that would be selfish...
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Or do what my neighbours doing with her 16 year old neice say she's more than welcome to stay but in return for she must pay her way. :) that seems like the
sort of Option your looking for. :)
Yeah but then the gf would have to pay surely.. and that could cause problems in the relationship even further..
He should maybe talk to his own mother and ask her to talk to the 16yr old sis about how long she intends to stay. Really, having both of her daughters living with OP's mother, you'd think their mam might have been in touch but then we don't know what sort of woman she is.
smicer07
09-10-2005, 21:12
Don't think he's demanding anything is he? Apart from a bit of attention?
Where is the OP to give his views?
any one see him around yet ???????:dozey:
sir_drinks_alot
09-10-2005, 21:16
Where are you Angelus we wanna know what's going on. :)
I dont want to sit downstairs with 3 girls. So i went down and asked if my gf to come upstairs so we could watch a film. She said no.
I dont know any more if i want to be with her as it feels i am single anyway as i hardly see her anymore
He says he hardly sees her, but he lives with her..
He could have sat with the girls if he wanted to-but he chose notto and is complaining about it.
So she didn't want to watch a movie with him- big deal. She might not have been in the mood to.
Anyway Angelus hasn't even replied to this thread so it might be sorted by now. i wonder what he thinks?
i would love to sit with 3 girls . most of the time i am in my room all by my self .
i would love to sit with 3 girls . most of the time i am in my room all by my self .
:hugs: Aww come and sit with me.. i'm always by myself too!
Or should we all go live with Angelus? :D
i do not think he has the space for you and me:erm: we may get in the way :erm: a bit .
He says he hardly sees her, but he lives with her..
He could have sat with the girls if he wanted to-but he chose notto and is complaining about it.
Again your failing to see what he is saying! The bloke feels like he is single yet is in a relationship!!
Lets just stop and read exactly what he did say....
I spend most my time in my room and so did my gf as she has a networked laptop in here to. Since her sister has moved in i have hardly seen her. Tonight she said we would cuddle up and watch a film together. It never happened she stopped downstairs with her sister and her friend.
The girl promised to spend some quality time with him!! So the gf would sooner be with her sister and friend!! Hmmmm i'm starting to see a pattern!!
The GF sister also had a friend round to!!!
I dont want to sit downstairs with 3 girls. So i went down and asked if my gf to come upstairs so we could watch a film. She said no.
I would want to be with my gf too not some 16 yr old girls sat in the corner giggling!!
I dont know any more if i want to be with her as it feels i am single anyway as i hardly see her anymore
He hardly sees her anymore! Good god i've known people get dumped for lesser reasons!!
Well if he wants to dump her then there must be something wrong anyway.
I just think if he is going to dump her for that one reason, (her spending less time with him and more with her sis while her sis is living there) and that reason only- its a bit harsh and he can't like her that much to begin with.
i've known people get dumped for lesser reasons!!
me too ,
Well if he wants to dump her then there must be something wrong anyway.
I just think if he is going to dump her for that one reason, (her spending less time with him and more with her sis while her sis is living there) and that reason only- its a bit harsh and he can't like her that much to begin with.
Okay how do you think the relationship will blossom? Hang on tho, they never spend anytime together so how can it?
She would rather be with her sister! Kinda says a lot about what she think's of her relationship!!
Honestly if i was in the same position and after a chat nothing changed she'd be gone already!!
:redcard: I think we should wait for Angelus, to defend his position.
Okay how do you think the relationship will blossom? Hang on tho, they never spend anytime together so how can it?
She would rather be with her sister! Kinda says a lot about what she think's of her relationship!!
Honestly if i was in the same position and after a chat nothing changed she'd be gone already!!
Well think of the possiblility that what i said earlier in this thread might be true also.
The kid sister might be feeling vulnerable- in which case his gf is taking on her role as 'mother' by spending time with her making sure she doesn't feel too bad about the whole thing.
If that is the case, then the gf will be thinking angelus is a big boy he can look after himself- my sister can't..
Anyway i'm blatantly just repeating myself now.
I wonder if Angelus will even come back.:confused:
Well i guess all will be revealed in time!! ;)
sir_drinks_alot
09-10-2005, 22:11
Look at the end of the day we can give all the tips and Advise we like but it's up to you Angelus to do what you feel is right for this situation. :)
where is the op ??
He hasn't posted since 11pm last night..
Look at the end of the day we can give all the tips and Advise we like but it's up to you Angelus to do what you feel is right for this situation. :)
Nobody said it wasn't!
The end of the day... nobody knows the full story so we can only say what we each think on what is written here!
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where is the op ??
He was about earlier..... maybe he got the advise he needed or maybe he is having a think!!
I been going out with my gf for 9 months now and after a arguement with her mom she moved in with me and my mom.
Now call her mom dysfunctional but a few months back my gfs younger sister got kicked out to. And she moved in with us to.
Now since I have Sky+, Telewest bb and a phone in my room i tend to not go downstairs and share a tv. I spend most my time in my room and so did my gf as she has a networked laptop in here to. Since her sister has moved in i have hardly seen her. Tonight she said we would cuddle up and watch a film together. It never happened she stopped downstairs with her sister and her friend.
I dont want to sit downstairs with 3 girls. So i went down and asked if my gf to come upstairs so we could watch a film. She said no.
I dont know any more if i want to be with her as it feels i am single anyway as i hardly see her anymore
What do i do?
Any advice please
It might be tough... but maybe now is a good time to tell your girlfriend about her sister trying to get you into bed? :)
It might be tough... but maybe now is a good time to tell your girlfriend about her sister trying to get you into bed? :)
:rofl: :Yikes: :naughty:
It might be tough... but maybe now is a good time to tell your girlfriend about her sister trying to get you into bed? :)
that is not nice at all .
It might be tough... but maybe now is a good time to tell your girlfriend about her sister trying to get you into bed? :)
LMAO What are you like!! :p::p::p:
Hey hey
Been at work.
Well we had a talk last night i said a few things on my mind. For her birthday me and my gf bought her a new mobile and straightners coming to £100. Her sister wanted a concert ticket for xmas. My gf said yes i have said no.
I dont spend £120 on my sisters and brothers in a year as i just cant afford it and it will not change now. I asked her to spend more time with me as it was hurting me not seeing her and tonight she has.
The reason i did not wanna sit downstairs with two sixteen years old is because frankly they are immature. They like to dress in dark clothes and watch music channels. I think Emo is a key word here.
She is at 6th form at school and has plenty of times to get a job. But never rang up or went to the open day. She pays nothing. In regards to her birthday earlier and what we spent on here. In august it was my gf birthday and she said she would get her a present in september when her summer holiday job cheque cleared. When it did she never bought the gf anything and spent the money on a new tattoo and piercing.
I am hoping to get my own place asap and i have made it clear the sister is not moving in.
In regards to what a emo is to those who have no idea here is a description
Genre of softcore punk music that integrates unenthusiastic melodramatic 17 year olds who dont smile, high pitched overwrought lyrics and inaudible guitar rifts with tight wool sweaters, tighter jeans, itchy scarfs (even in the summer), ripped chucks with favorite bands signature, black square rimmed glasses, and ebony greasy unwashed hair that is required to cover at least 3/5 ths of the face at an angle.
Well we had a talk last night i said a few things on my mind.
Excellent :tu:
I asked her to spend more time with me as it was hurting me not seeing her and tonight she has.
That's good news! I hope it stays that way!!
I am hoping to get my own place asap and i have made it clear the sister is not moving in.
Good luck with that!
i wish you all the best . and think that it is good that you had the chat . all the best .
see a bit of talking in pleasantry's always helps and good on you for being part of the presents on her sisters birthday, i can understand you very much on immaturity, i dont like it too but i guess we have all been there before..
good luck and i hope this is a fresh start for your relationship :)
zoombini
11-10-2005, 23:55
Either a fresh start or a threesome. :)
Either a fresh start or a threesome. :)
:LOL: i was hoping to keep it clean but oh well :D
Hmmmmmm!Download Failed (1)
timewarrior2001
12-10-2005, 11:02
Not much I can say but if she is 16 then to get a tattoo is illegal.
Tattooing
It is an offence to tattoo anyone under 18 unless a qualified medical practitioner does it for medical reasons. Someone who tattoos anyone under 18 can be prosecuted unless they show they had good cause to believe the person was over 18.
Source: http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/n6w/index/family_parent/health/young_people_health_and_personal.htm#tattooing
mmm, how would you get a tattoo for medical reasons ???
homealone
17-10-2005, 21:24
mmm, how would you get a tattoo for medical reasons ???
just a guess, but maybe to cover a scar, birth mark, etc? ;)
mmm, how would you get a tattoo for medical reasons ???
With info/phone numbers on a life threatening medical condition perhaps. :erm:
With info/phone numbers on a life threatening medical condition perhaps. :erm:
LOL how gutted would you be if you got a phone number tattoed on your leg and they changed the number :rofl:oops:
LOL how gutted would you be if you got a phone number tattoed on your leg and they changed the number :rofl:oops:
Particularly when it comes to getting a new number these days! It'd be easier just changing your leg :disturbd:
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