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budwieser
03-05-2011, 23:00
Have a read of this, It all makes good sense.! :D

This is simplicity itself.
Which is obviously why politicians can’t figure it out!!!!!!



Please read to the end.





Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing Britain's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the
money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the
following stipulations:


1) They MUST retire.

Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed




2) They MUST buy a new British car.




Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed


3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -

Housing Crisis fixed


4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -

Crime rate fixed


5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....

and there's your money back in duty/tax etc


6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme
that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy *******s to
reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them
down.

It can't get any easier than that!



P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back
their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances



If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

If not, please disregard.



Grumpies of the World Unite



Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and
walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical
treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying
it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped
instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed
and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and
snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual
counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on
request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with
gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards
would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and
pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.



Think about this (more points of contention):


------------------------------------------------------------------------

COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the
mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in
Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in
the county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are
unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our
country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.


------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a
Constitution for Iraq ... Why don't we just give them ours?

It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for
centuries and we're not using it anymore.


------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a
courthouse or Parliament, is this -

You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit
Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers,
judges and politicians..... It creates a hostile work environment.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also;

Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of
offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us
grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up! :D

haydnwalker
03-05-2011, 23:47
...Makes absolute complete sense :D

Caff
03-05-2011, 23:50
Very good :D

Mick Fisher
04-05-2011, 14:34
:tu: :D