View Full Version : Dog phobia
I have a dog and have had her for 7 years. Love her to bits and she is my best friend.
Now I have met a new partner and been going strong now for a few months. In about a years time we are planning to move in together.
Here lies the problem.
She has two sons who have a phobia of dogs. They will be 4 and 3 by the time we move in. Is there any help we can get as I dont really want to lose my dog.
Cheers
AndyCambs
26-04-2009, 21:21
Not a help for you - but in my case, it would be "love me - love my dog"...
I suppose the question is - how phobic are they and what sort of dog do you have and what temperament?
Its a german shepard cross. She is as soft as fluff.
http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z31/Mastspotter/Misi/a076fdd7.jpg
AndyCambs
26-04-2009, 21:26
Like mine - crossed with something or other.
Does she like children (and not just for breakfast or in-between meals)?
Mine does have the tendency to get a tad excited when people leave (ironically not when they arrive...)
Raistlin
26-04-2009, 21:29
With respect to yourself and your partner - you're talking about moving in together in a year's time, you're saying the children will be 3 amd 4 years old then, that would make then 2 and 3 years old now.....
2 and 3 year old children don't have 'phobias', they have behaviour that they exhibit in certain situations which is a direct product of the behaviour that the adults around them exhibit in those same situations.
Children need to learn a healthy respect for all animals from an early age, but they also need to know not to fear them.
The only thing I can suggest is that you expose the children to your dog in a controlled manner, in short stints, and over a long period of time. Make sure the dogs isn't too boisterous, snappy or loud, and make sure you never leave the children alone with the dog (ever, ever) no matter how much you trust it. Start with something simple like all of you walking the dog together as a 'family' excersise - then have the dog in the room, sat/laying down quietly, whilst the children are there - get them used to having the dog around, but don't force contact between the dog and the children.
Remember as well that this isn't just about the children, this is about the dog as well. Dogs have a pack mentality, at the moment you are the leader of your pack, with the dog coming beneath you. When you introduce your new partner and the children to your 'pack' this will change, and you may find that you start to get small problems with the dog's behaviour as it tries to find its place in the new, larger, pack.
AndyCambs
26-04-2009, 21:39
I'd agree with Rob - all take the dog out for a walk.
If she is quiet (the dog I meant), then have the children in the room when she is laying by your chair. From the dog's view as well, she will probably be apprehensive about the children just as much as they are about her.
tweetypie/8
26-04-2009, 21:39
I have a dog and have had her for 7 years. Love her to bits and she is my best friend.
Now I have met a new partner and been going strong now for a few months. In about a years time we are planning to move in together.
Here lies the problem.
She has two sons who have a phobia of dogs. They will be 4 and 3 by the time we move in. Is there any help we can get as I dont really want to lose my dog.
Cheers
no offence intended central,but lose the partner or get her to accept your feelings towards your dog lol.
I have a dog and have had her for 7 years. Love her to bits and she is my best friend.
Now I have met a new partner and been going strong now for a few months. In about a years time we are planning to move in together.
Here lies the problem.
She has two sons who have a phobia of dogs. They will be 4 and 3 by the time we move in. Is there any help we can get as I dont really want to lose my dog.
Cheers
When I was a child, I was terrified of dogs. My mum's answer? To buy a large airedale thus forcing me to get over my fear. She chose an Airedale because they are very gentle and friendly. It worked. I now own two Yorkshire terriers and they are an important part of the family.
Lots of good advice already.
If you get rid of your dog, it would eat you up, the love that man and dog can have together is very strong!
Small children can get nervy around any large animal, especially a lively dog.
The children need to get over any fear/phobia, the sooner the better really, so I would say follow the advice already given.
My eldest was a bit stupid about being around dogs at about the age of 5, my solution was not to keep her way from them, but to actively put her near them, it worked and we ended up getting a cracker of a little dog (I still miss him loads) she loved him to bits, and now babysits dogs when shes asked to for money (sleep overs)
When I was a child, I was terrified of dogs. My mum's answer? To buy a large airedale thus forcing me to get over my fear. She chose an Airedale because they are very gentle and friendly. It worked. I now own two Yorkshire terriers and they are an important part of the family.
Actually, the above makes my mum sound rather sadistic.. She wasn't. She had wanted a dog for a long time, but waited until I'd shown an interest in my Uncle's collie who was a lovely dog.
WHISTLED
27-04-2009, 09:43
As per Rob, the kids are babies now and may be nervous of a big bouncy dog but they dont have phobias. Its usually behaviour passed on from a nervous parent that pulls their kids away from dogs in the park etc.
Just expose them to the dog, if they scream and cry take it slowly, it should only take a few walks round the park for them to trust her.
haydnwalker
27-04-2009, 11:14
We've recently got a puppy (Cavalier King Charles - shes 7months now) and my brothers fiancee is terrified of dogs. She wouldn't let our old King Charles (sadly died last year - old age) anywhere near her even though she wasn't fussed and would just lay on the floor happily.
Now however because she's met the puppy while she was a baby and needing to be lifted out of sticky situations occasionally - she now wants one of her own. Strange how past experiences affect people.
If you let your partners kids be in the house (to begin with) while the dogs there, they might get curious, but they need to see how you are with your dog and how she reacts to your commands etc for them to get the picture that you are in charge of the dog and that she won't just head for them without your say so.
Sometimes - its the humans that need training :)
---------- Post added at 11:14 ---------- Previous post was at 11:13 ----------
I've always wanted a dog (as the old one was my wifes dog from when she was little - i kind of inherited her :)) from a puppy and I wouldn't change it for the world...
I was terrified when I was little of dogs!
Raistlin
27-04-2009, 11:16
Sometimes - its the humans that need training :)
I don't think there's any 'sometimes' about it ;)
superbiatch
27-04-2009, 11:21
Sometimes - its the humans that need training :)
Watch the Dog Whisperer - its actually ALL our fault ;)
haydnwalker
27-04-2009, 11:24
I've seen it - and I agree sometimes
superbiatch
27-04-2009, 12:45
I've seen it - and I agree sometimes
I think he's pretty much spot on with badly behaved dogs whether they are excitable or aggressive. The only problem is my staffie watches it also (usually howls throughout the show), and takes no notice of me when I try to some of the Dog Whisperer techniques on him :dozey:
Get rid of the dog. They (generally) have a much shorter lifespan than a partner ;)
AndyCambs
27-04-2009, 15:09
Get rid of the dog. They (generally) have a much shorter lifespan than a partner ;)
But a dog is much better behaved and won't answer back or trash the credit cards...
haydnwalker
27-04-2009, 15:38
Get rid of the dog. They (generally) have a much shorter lifespan than a partner ;)
I got the best of both worlds :)
AndyCambs
27-04-2009, 15:45
I got the best of both worlds :)
A dog that can use credit cards?
haydnwalker
27-04-2009, 15:51
LOL I hope she doesn't! That bed we got her was REALLY expensive!
No I meant a partner & a dog :)
LOL I hope she doesn't! That bed we got her was REALLY expensive!
No I meant a partner & a dog :)
Tony Blair goes one better his partner IS a dog. :)
haydnwalker
27-04-2009, 16:06
Tony Blair goes one better his partner IS a dog. :)
I was thinking that that post was off-topic...but I suppose it was dog-related :)
AndyCambs
27-04-2009, 16:09
LOL I hope she doesn't! That bed we got her was REALLY expensive!
No I meant a partner & a dog :)
But she deserves it...
haydnwalker
27-04-2009, 16:14
no...she didn't...not at £69,99 she didnt!
I have a dog and have had her for 7 years. Love her to bits and she is my best friend.
Now I have met a new partner and been going strong now for a few months. In about a years time we are planning to move in together.
Here lies the problem.
She has two sons who have a phobia of dogs. They will be 4 and 3 by the time we move in. Is there any help we can get as I dont really want to lose my dog.
Cheers
Get rid of the woman and keep the dog, the dog will greet you when you walk through the door, a dog will be faithfull to you, the dog doesn't ask to be taken out to expensive pubs and clubs, you only have to feed the dog once a day, when you take the dog out it doesn't look at other men in flash cars. Only kidding :D:D:D
Talk to your other half and tell her the dog is an important part of your life you've had her since she was a pup and it will eat you up if you ever had to give her away. I hope you make the right decision.
haydnwalker
30-04-2009, 15:27
I'd like to add that - at the age her children are at - I doubt they will have a phobia...more like their mum has either (a)kept them away from dogs out of some fear or (b) they have never needed to be introduced to one and they are a bit scared (understandably) of her.
Make sure you stay chilled out with them and the dog and all will get on fine
OR (a final bit of food for thought)... its not your new partner thats scared of dogs is it? Because she could just be making excuses up?? (Don't mean to sound horrible there, but its possible).
Watch the Dog Whisperer - its actually ALL our fault ;)
I have become a bit of a Dog Whisperer addict,
trouble is................................................ ..
I keep doing that "shuu" noise to my hubby every time he speaks!
iFrankie
04-05-2009, 21:16
Its a german shepard cross. She is as soft as fluff.
http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z31/Mastspotter/Misi/a076fdd7.jpg
gorgeous dog!
superbiatch
04-05-2009, 21:41
I have become a bit of a Dog Whisperer addict,
trouble is................................................ ..
I keep doing that "shuu" noise to my hubby every time he speaks!
Just don't kick him or poke him in the neck :D
What manner does the dog have?
This is what I would do.
Only take one of the kids at a time, as one may be more afraid of the dog than the other and pass this to the less afraid one.
Tie the dog to a fench etc, and tell it to sit crouch by the dog and stroke it, and get the kid to come and stroke it, and if the dog goes to move tell it to stay.
It will take time but will be rewarding.
My Niece didn't like the bigger dogs but she is OK now.
One last point, as already has been stated NEVER leave the dog and kids alone.
no offence intended central,but lose the partner or get her to accept your feelings towards your dog lol.
Took me so long to find a great partner lol. Not going to give this one up
Get rid of the dog. They (generally) have a much shorter lifespan than a partner ;)
But I love my dog to bits to lol
I'd like to add that - at the age her children are at - I doubt they will have a phobia...more like their mum has either (a)kept them away from dogs out of some fear or (b) they have never needed to be introduced to one and they are a bit scared (understandably) of her.
Make sure you stay chilled out with them and the dog and all will get on fine
OR (a final bit of food for thought)... its not your new partner thats scared of dogs is it? Because she could just be making excuses up?? (Don't mean to sound horrible there, but its possible).
My partner loves my dog. Always playing with her.
---------- Post added at 10:27 ---------- Previous post was at 10:27 ----------
What manner does the dog have?
This is what I would do.
Only take one of the kids at a time, as one may be more afraid of the dog than the other and pass this to the less afraid one.
Tie the dog to a fench etc, and tell it to sit crouch by the dog and stroke it, and get the kid to come and stroke it, and if the dog goes to move tell it to stay.
It will take time but will be rewarding.
My Niece didn't like the bigger dogs but she is OK now.
One last point, as already has been stated NEVER leave the dog and kids alone.
Thank you.
We will try this. Hopefully all will turn out good
We have now split up :(
Who with the dog or your partner? If it was your partner, was it because of the dog?
Partly because of the dog and partly not.
Sorry to hear that Central. Hope it's not long before you meet someone who will love your gorgeous dog as much as she loves you.:)
Whatever happens Central do not give up your dog because a would be partner asks you to.Any person worth their salt would never ask such a thing of someone they love and respect.:)
Whatever happens Central do not give up your dog because a would be partner asks you to.Any person worth their salt would never ask such a thing of someone they love and respect.:)
Wel said Maggy, I couldn't have said it better myself.
Whatever happens Central do not give up your dog because a would be partner asks you to.Any person worth their salt would never ask such a thing of someone they love and respect.:)
Ditto, ditto , ditto!
Sorry though central..................
Plenty more fish????????
:)
rogerdraig
28-05-2009, 20:31
Get rid of the dog. They (generally) have a much shorter lifespan than a partner ;)
not a dog person i take it lol
i am afraid its love me love my dog here :angel:
as to the kids are your dogs used to children ?
if they are then i would get the kids who they are used to to come along with the two that supposedly have a phobia ( i mostly find its thier parents phobia and the kids just copy ) and get them to all plat together and introduce the dogs on leads to start with and later with out.
mostly once they see the other kids playing with them they are fine i see it at my house often as my kids bring in new kids to play ( i think they advertise for them to come here lol there are so many ) and those who profess to be scared are normally walking the dogs with in a week
that said as i have said before no matter how cute and fluffy your dogs are and how they never bite, they are an animal and they are dangerous this also has to be instilled in young children early on and on owners over and over again
only ever leave the dogs with kids once your sure the kids are capable of dealing with a fight if you are in any doubt on that and i dont think any child under 7 can ever be capable of that never leave them on their own with children
we have always set up our house so we have a dog room that has had access via dog flap to outside fenced in area that we can lock the dogs in when we have to leave the kids or have those who really cant cope with them in.
( i mean by leaving the kids going upstairs to tidy ect not leaving them home alone ;) )
I used to have a room where I locked the children in................................
What??? Was that wrong?? ;)
rogerdraig
30-05-2009, 17:28
;) :angel:
both my wife and i put the dog before each other , purely because he completely relies on us :) , sorry to hear about your loss , but your dog will love you no matter what :)
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