View Full Version : This threw me today...
Been to the gym today as I do most days, I'll cut a long story short here, we all have these little routines where we use the same locker all the time anyway, for about 4 months there's been this chap in his 50's who gets changed and showered where I get changed and showered, me being me we got talking as you do in a gym just the same old man talk as men do:D:D:D He always goes to the gym about 3pm the same time as I go when I finish work he's got a routine like everyone else, we even got on first name terms like us men do:D:D Anyway today it was the same old day went to the gym at 3pm and this guy was just coming out of the changing rooms into the gym, we exchanged hello's etc etc. W
hen I finshed in the gym I went to the changing rooms to get showered, this guy was in there getting dressed, we got talking and I said are you out tonight Jeff? Course I am he said laughing I'm out every night of the week, I went in the shower and when I came out he was putting his shoes on ready for the off, we had a bit of banter then he bid me good day, my reply was have a good weekend Jeff see you Monday off he went out of the door, the next minute he comes back in the changing rooms and says to me, "oh by the way I'm gay", my reply was, so what, what's wrong with that? You are what you are I'm not homophobic Jeff I have mates who are gay, he replied well if you want to get changed round the corner you can do because some people in here might say to you hey he's gay you know, I said Jeff it doesn't bother me one little bit like I've said I have good mates who are gay and I trust them with my life.
I don't know if I feel offended or what, he thought I might have said something but I didn't, like above I just said it doesn't bother me who or what you are.
he was perhaps "warning you" so you dont get offended when/if the banter starts with the other men in the gym, but in this day and age most people dont give a stuff.
We have two gay barmen in my local, one of them didn't like me I first started drinking in there because for some reason (nothing said) he assumed I wouldn't like him because of it. I had to take him to one side one night and have a word with him about it because I thought someone had said that I had made comments.
Last weekend one gay barman and a barmaid were working, the barman handed me his mobile so I could put my number in for him to text me a joke. The funny bit about it is that the barmaid then asked me to send her one and I ignored it because I didn't want her to have my number!
Both gay barmen are OK now they know me, I have no problem with them at all and the one who got my number always refers to his partner and I am not sure if he even realises I know he is gay. I do admit however I am certainly not keen on the drama queen type gays, I know they are in the minority but I often feel they are putting it on to gain attention.
Mmmmmm it's been a right funny set on indeed, like I said I'm fine with gay people I've even been to a gay club in Nottingham with my gay mates and it was the best night out I've had in ages.
Delta Whiskey
12-10-2007, 20:34
I'm glad it's a bit more accepted these days. I worked for a guy who was gay, he and his partner were nice people. Within the small group of people who worked in that place there weren't any problems at all, but he got so much grief from his line manager at head office that he was forced to leave.
Graham M
12-10-2007, 20:35
Perhaps GC could comment, would be interesting to hear his opinion?
I'm glad it's a bit more accepted these days. I worked for a guy who was gay, he and his partner were nice people. Within the small group of people who worked in that place there weren't any problems at all, but he got so much grief from his line manager at head office that he was forced to leave.
I find it sad when gay people get grief, like I mentioned they are the most trustworthy people I've ever met, take my mates for instance who are gay, one of them a few years ago confided in me about coming out of the closet as they say, I told him to bite the bullet and go for it, he asked me how I felt and would it effect our friendship? I said don't be daft you'll still be the same Phil to me, no feeling my **** mind I said to him, he laughed about it and came out of the closet, his parents were shocked at first they even phoned me and asked me if I was his partner:shocked::D:shocked::D I went round to talk to his parents and said at the end of the day he's your son and nothing will change that, he is what he is and as long as he's happy then I'm happy for him and you should feel the same way, they accepted that he was gay and have accepted his partner into their family.
greencreeper
13-10-2007, 03:37
Interesting. Must say it's a thought that has crossed my mind in the past - that by association I might bring someone into disrepute. It's silly because there's nothing wrong with being gay, and the suggestion of being gay shouldn't be an issue. I'm not sure, because I've not pondered on it for any length of time, but I think it might simply be a protective gesture given that homophobia does exist and anyone subjected to it would not wish anyone else to suffer it. I have a sense though that it's more than that - perhaps rooted in the person being less than at ease with their sexuality, and somehow projecting that.
Jeff's the only gay in the village :P
Graham M
13-10-2007, 09:40
Jeff's the only gay in the village :P
And a serious thread just started on its downhill decline
sssshhhh
13-10-2007, 09:56
I find it sad when gay people get grief, like I mentioned they are the most trustworthy people I've ever met, take my mates for instance who are gay, one of them a few years ago confided in me about coming out of the closet as they say, I told him to bite the bullet and go for it, he asked me how I felt and would it effect our friendship? I said don't be daft you'll still be the same Phil to me, no feeling my **** mind I said to him, he laughed about it and came out of the closet, his parents were shocked at first they even phoned me and asked me if I was his partner:shocked::D:shocked::D I went round to talk to his parents and said at the end of the day he's your son and nothing will change that, he is what he is and as long as he's happy then I'm happy for him and you should feel the same way, they accepted that he was gay and have accepted his partner into their family.
You sound like a very good friend to have, and a really nice chap :tu:
Sounds to me like the guy in the gym though you were a nice chap too, and wanted to a- be honest with you and b- let you know so you were prepared if anything untoward was said by any other gym users.
I haven't known that many gay people [that I'm aware of :)], but I don't usually have a problem with them; I can accept that they're gay if they can accept that I'm not. The 1 type of gay guy I'm not happy to be around is the sort that are not just still in the closet, but are even in denial about it with themselves to the extent that they become thugs, hassling anyone who doesn't match up to their idea of what makes a guy straight/manly - just to avoid anybody suspecting the truth about them.
A girlfriend was good friends with this bloke, really good friends so the first time we met up she had warned me – “ he’s a bit camp” As I knew he was gay.
But to stress the point the guy was in my view disappointed that I was totally fine in fact I’d even go as far to say he was pushing it on the Gay side. I was more annoyed that in my mind he was trying shock me…….So I ****ed him off more by suggesting he was just normal.
But then again he was one of these “I’m the centre of attraction –look at me –look at me” kind of person.
A girlfriend was good friends with this bloke, really good friends so the first time we met up she had warned me – “ he’s a bit camp†As I knew he was gay.
But to stress the point the guy was in my view disappointed that I was totally fine in fact I’d even go as far to say he was pushing it on the Gay side. I was more annoyed that in my mind he was trying shock me…….So I ****ed him off more by suggesting he was just normal.
But then again he was one of these “I’m the centre of attraction –look at me –look at me†kind of person.
Yep, thats the type of gay I dont like.
We have quite a few gay guys who go in my local that I know about and possibly there are more that I dont know about. There are only two that I dislike, they parade around making an exibition of themselves to draw attention 'Look at me I'm gay and I want everyone to know about it' The regulars dont encourage them we just ignore them, but unfortunately some people look at them and feed them the attention they want.
greencreeper
14-10-2007, 19:06
There are types of gay? I never knew. All these years. Is there a label somewhere I've not noticed, maybe in my **** crack - bit tricky to see that part of the body. Or possibly it's on my birth certificate? I really feel I should find out.
Methinks that sexuality has nothing to do with it - there are obnoxious gay men and women as much as there are straight; and equally, there are a lot of straight camp guys. Awareness of sexuality allows the individual with a problem to say, "Yeah - he's a wanchor BUT he is gay", as if one relates to or explains the other. They don't. Not wishing to upset anyone, but when I encounter this type of attitude/behaviour, I find it symptomatic of the individual who does have a problem with gay men (or women), but is sufficiently educated and well-mannered enough to try to mask their true feelings - but ultimately fails to do so. Not this is necessarily a bad thing, but I do prefer someone to be honest. "Can't stand ****ing shirt lifters", at least lets me know where I stand. Preferably behind a security barrier :D
There are types of gay? I never knew. All these years. Is there a label somewhere I've not noticed, maybe in my **** crack - bit tricky to see that part of the body. Or possibly it's on my birth certificate? I really feel I should find out.
Methinks that sexuality has nothing to do with it - there are obnoxious gay men and women as much as there are straight; and equally, there are a lot of straight camp guys. Awareness of sexuality allows the individual with a problem to say, "Yeah - he's a wanchor BUT he is gay", as if one relates to or explains the other. They don't. Not wishing to upset anyone, but when I encounter this type of attitude/behaviour, I find it symptomatic of the individual who does have a problem with gay men (or women), but is sufficiently educated and well-mannered enough to try to mask their true feelings - but ultimately fails to do so. Not this is necessarily a bad thing, but I do prefer someone to be honest. "Can't stand ****ing shirt lifters", at least lets me know where I stand. Preferably behind a security barrier :D
As I was trying to point out, the gays I dislike I have found to be in the minority of the ones that I know. I see the majority as just normal people but with different tastes to myself who just like the majority of straight people in a relationship keep their interests private.
If I went around acting like Ausin Powers wiggling my hips saying 'Come and get it baby' you would possibly describe me as a wanchor as you put it. If however I point out that small percentage of gay men who act lewd for attention are that in my opinion, I am accused of not liking gays. It has nothing todo with not liking gays but everything to do with not liking the actions of a small minority.
I do not stand in the middle of the pub using my best gruff voice and pinching every womans a**e that walks past just to let everyone know I am straight. If however I was with my boyfriend prancing around limp wristed with my best squeaky voice and snogging him just to get attention I would be a w*****. I stand and talk to he gay barman on regular occassions, I admit I stay away from any conversation about women because to be honest I'm not sure if he may not like it.
I think gay men are often difficult to get on with because they put up a barrier and assume that a straight guy doesn't like them and wants to bash their brains in. I have probably worked harder at being on friendly talking terms than I would with a straight guy, once they realise that Escapee likes the women but surprise surprise treats a gay guy as a person they are OK.
The diffiicult task is stopping them drag every women away and protecting them from me, I had that with one gay and it was only after a few women who know me well told him what to do with himself did he finally realise they did not need him to rescue them.
he went out of the door, the next minute he comes back in the changing rooms and says to me, "oh by the way I'm gay"
Sounds to me that it's something he'd been thinking about carefully before he said it - went out thinking he'd not bother, decided to come back and tell you after all.
I'm guessing it's just to make you aware. I'd think he's worried that you'd be offended if he didn't tell you and then someone else did and you thought he was being sly and spying on you. Stupid I know but he sounds like a really honest guy for mentioning it.
You have two options now - either never mention it again and carry on as normal or say something next time you see him and reassure him then carry on as normal.
Either way I'm sure he'll be happy just to get on with his workout/shower and chat to you :)
vBulletin® v3.8.11, Copyright ©2000-2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.