First School for my Son .. advice required!

[markmarkymark]

Yo all..

An appeal for advice / comment from those parents out there !

I have a 3.5 year old son who will go to school for the first time next September 2008. He has a good balanced family life, has a Mum and a Dad and a baby brother. We all get on well and life is generally good....

By our choice he was not christened at birth - we prefer that he is able to make an informed choice when he is ready. As a family we are not particularly 'religious' (I did go to Sunday school as a kid and we did get married in church I suppose...).

Anyway, most of the schools in our area ( East of Reading) are C of E and I am totally amazed (and shocked) by the admission policy of most - i.e. parent needs to go to church regularly, be on a church register etc etc. I am not a hypocrite and so this is a non-starter. Each to their own - but I pay my tax (lots of it) and pay the council tax and I do not like the thought that there is potential exclusion based on church attendance (not that I am knocking anyone that does attend), given that I contribute to that school as much as the next person.

There are alternatives - we could send him to a private / independent school - but that is not the point.

So, what experiences have you lot all had - I would be really interested to know your thoughts.

cheers

Mark

[SMHarman]

Campaign for separation of church and state. God bless America.

[mr_bo]

Hi, my 3.5 yr old is now in his 3rd week at nursery, he goes 5 mornings a week and it is part of the primary school he will attend next year. He has done so well and really likes it.

I too have not had him christened by choice, partly because I am totally non religious and partly because if later in life he chooses to be religious then it is his choice which is fine by me.
But my friend who lived in the same street wanted better for their son of the same age and had him enrolled in a catholic school and had to attend church because of their admission policies and all that but they were not religious so was totally hypocritical of them just so they could get their lad in this school. What makes it worse is that they have now moved away from this area and all that was for nothing.

The way I look at it is if your happy then you have done the best you can for your lad. I was enrolled in a catholic school by my parents and hated it as it was forced on me so wouldn't dare do it to my lad.

[greencreeper]

I don't think, if I had kids, I could bring myself to do it. So much of his or her personality, and how they cope with life, depends on their experiences of (and at) school. Very easy to wreck them for life. Boss at work is busy choosing her son's first school. Poor sod.

Good luck with it :)

[Cobbydaler]

If I were you I'd steer clear of any school that has a religion based requirement for entry...

How can they possibly give your child a rounded education if they hold to beliefs which patently contradict the reality of the world we live in? :shrug:

[homealone]

I don't see a 'religious' requirement as an handicap, provided the school provides a good education, but as said, those beliefs have to be based in reality :)

[Angua]

I am amazed there are so many religious schools vs totally state school in your area. Even sending them to a completely state school will still have a religious bias to assembly and such like. You can legally opt out of the religious part of the school day for your child though.

[Chris]

If I were you I'd steer clear of any school that has a religion based requirement for entry...

How can they possibly give your child a rounded education if they hold to beliefs which patently contradict the reality of the world we live in? :shrug:

The world is messed up and it would be great if we were all a bit nicer to each other.

What part of that is a patent contradiction of 'reality'? :dozey:

[Cobbydaler]

The world is messed up and it would be great if we were all a bit nicer to each other.

What part of that is a patent contradiction of 'reality'? :dozey:

Anyone can be 'nice' to anyone else without the prerequisite of believing the world was created in 7 days by an omnipotent being... :erm:

Morals & decent behaviour aren't the sole domain of people who 'believe' :confused:

[danielf]

The world is messed up and it would be great if we were all a bit nicer to each other.


Does that include allowing a child into a school if it isn't christened or its parents don't attend a church of that school's preferred denomination regularly?

[Chris]

Anyone can be 'nice' to anyone else without the prerequisite of believing the world was created in 7 days by an omnipotent being... :erm:

Morals & decent behaviour aren't the sole domain of people who 'believe' :confused:

I didn't say they were. I think you do know what I meant, but I'll spell it out for you: Christians believe plenty of perfectly healthy, good things, and by and large these schools turn out well-rounded individuals, not raging nutters.

So a little less generalizing would be appreciated.

---------- Post added at 00:41 ---------- Previous post was at 00:39 ----------

Does that include allowing a child into a school if it isn't christened or its parents don't attend a church of that school's preferred denomination regularly?

Schools are allowed to set an admissions policy, so yes. He has the absolute right to choose a State school that has no religious affiliation and the State will provide transport if necessary.

I wouldn't force someone to send their child to a C of E school, or any other, but in return I expect them not to think it reasonable that the entire system should be changed to accommodate them.

[Anonymouse]

With all due respect to the UK's religions, being taught at a religious school nearly ruined my two nieces; they were spending far too much time studying scripture, and not enough on maths and English. I was doing better at age 6 than my eldest niece was at age 11. Having said that, she did manage to pull herself up and, now in her twenties, has got herself a good job. But that's in spite of her primary education, not because of it. She probably learned more from me than she did at primary school.

The younger one started to gravitate towards ballet and tap, and in fact was doing extremely well...until she started developing rather generous curves, which on a ballet dancer is a no-no. :erm:

Having said all that, I had an excellent primary school education, a better (O-Level) secondary education...and I'm stuck in a bloody warehouse in a dead-end job shifting stuff by hand that in many cases weighs more than I do. Go figure. :mad:

Anyway. A primary school that teaches the basics - in the way we were taught, if such schools exist any more - is a must. You can back that up by reading with and to him, and use everyday objects to teach him about counting; my mum, for example, taught me to count using playing cards. Try to get him interested in books as early as possible; if he develops an interest in reading, he'll be well equipped to find out anything he needs to know. Harry Potter might be a good place to start. :D

On the other hand, it might get a tad expensive; my early interest in books has resulted in a collection of about 800 or so, gathered over 30-odd years. I don't even want to think about the total cost. :Yikes:

Check out the school meals - is it a balanced diet? Kids should not be fed mainly on salads; at that age, they need a fair amount of fat for growth and energy. Find out what the kids do at playtime; unstructured play is vital to a child's social development. On the other hand, team sports are important, too...and it's a plus point in any school's favour if they remember what the word "competition" means and why it's important.

Take your time. Do your research; as you've obviously realised, you must get it right, for your son's sake.

Best of luck. The way schools seem to be run these days, I'm afraid you're going to need it.