Signs of someone using drugs?

[Escapee]

I wonder if any of you one here could help me out with a problem I have with a friend.

I am very friendly (and that's all it is) with a young woman of 19 and her mother, I have been friendly with them for the last 12 months. A few weeks ago the young woman had a falling out with me over a misunderstanding, I don't want to go into the full details but I now believe the misunderstanding was blown out of proportion and part fabricated for other reasons in this post.

There is now a suspicion that she is taking drugs, she has many of the symptoms that I would recognise and certainly when I saw her in the middle of the week I thought there was a complete change to her character, but it was only last night when drugs were mentioned the penny dropped. On Wednesday she was working behind the bar, I was sat at the bar reading a newspaper and my frind was doing the same. She came and sat down behind the bar on the floor so we couldn't see her and tried to do it without us noticing. I thought she may be checking to see if we talked about her, and I guess this could be something to do with being paranoid as drug users often are.

She had to go from behind the bar to lie down on the seats because she was not feeling too good feeling light headed and sick, she is not eating and was only eating sweets that night. It is also noticable that she has lost about a stone in the last 3 weeks, and she no longer bothers with any of her old friends. Even though she started being friendly with me again I could sense that there was something not quite right, she was not her usual self where we take the pi** out of one another. She didn't tell me but she has moved out of her mothers house to live with a guy of 29, he came to meet her from work and I didn't know anything about him at the time but my immediate thought was 'Looser'after a quick look at him. She has had quite a few short term boyfriends but never moved out of her mothers home or had a sudden change of character before. I have now found out that this new boyfriend is a very dubious character and is into drugs although I don't know what type. I don't think she would tell me about him because she would be embarassed, I have told her before not to bother with loosers because she is capable of finding herself a nice guy of her age. (I think she is very easily led)

She had a nasty rash around her mouth a few weeks ago and she claims it was impetigo, but with the look of this new boyfriend it could be anything. She has also not drunk any alcohol for the last 3-4 weeks, and she was a stereotypical 18-19 year old out as many nights of the week as she could if she could scrape the money together or borrow from her mother or father.

I am concerned, I have been a very close friend and someone came upto me last night who I have a lot of respect for and asked if I could talk to her. I don't think I will be able to get any info from her, she used to confide a lot in me but now she is suddenly blanking me.

Any ideas what I should be looking for, I would describe her as a very vulnerable person and would say she is certainly not the sharpes tool in the box, although she has been a very nice person. I am genuinly concerned and she has blanked her family completely, I would at least like to try to get some idea of what she is taking?

PS. Last night she failed to show for work.

[lauzjp]

sounds from the rash and the loss of weight that she could be on crack. :(

tbh, you are far better off out of it; she will need medical help & support. one of our neighbours keeps trying to ween himself off...

[Escapee]

sounds from the rash and the loss of weight that she could be on crack. :(



I really hope not, it is only a matter of 3-4 weeks but I really noticed the change when I saw her Wednesday after not seeing her for a couple ofweeks due to the rash.

[greencreeper]

I wouldn't go leaping to conclusions at all. I would simply tell her that you're there for her should she feel the need for a chat about anything, and leave it at that.

[lauzjp]

I'm not saying she definately is, but it seems to be quite rife nowadays, moreso than weed. look to see whether her eyes look glazed.

she could just be ill, and have some sort of infection that is making her weak.

but gc is right. :tu: my bad. just so tired of trying to help people help themselves and all they do is take the pee.

[Escapee]

Just had a text from her mother, its drugs.

I think coke is likely because she seems to be hooked very quickly, and here seems to be lot of it in the area at a reduced price. have offered to help and thats all I can do, I'm not sure about her eyes because she is avoiding eye contact with me.

She has all the symptoms, but I do wonder if she perhaps knows them and it could be some sort of attention seeking. I can't believe the change in a matter of weeks, I dont know how she will be able to afford to feed the habit.

I hope she doesn't turn to prostitution, she is a very beautiful young woman.

[alferret]

It’s always difficult with what to say to someone who is going down that road.
As Greenkeeper said approach and offer to be the ear & shoulder.
Whatever you do don’t be drawn into helping them with money, even if they promise that they will get themselves off it. It seems to me that this girl may have low self esteem and this is why her use of the drug may have moved from social to habit in a very quick way.
2 fiends I used to work with many years ago were social then habitual coke users; from there it escalated to heroin and from there to murder. One killed the other in an argument about their stash.
I know this is an extreme example but one I know of first hand.

[TheDaddy]

Just had a text from her mother, its drugs.

I think coke is likely because she seems to be hooked very quickly, and here seems to be lot of it in the area at a reduced price. have offered to help and thats all I can do, I'm not sure about her eyes because she is avoiding eye contact with me.

She has all the symptoms, but I do wonder if she perhaps knows them and it could be some sort of attention seeking. I can't believe the change in a matter of weeks, I dont know how she will be able to afford to feed the habit.

I hope she doesn't turn to prostitution, she is a very beautiful young woman.

Slow down, don't let your mind run away with things, in all likelihood she isn't addicted to anything yet and has just hit things hard in the last month, I would suggest leaving it to her mother, hopefully it's nothing to get 'that' worried about and if there is more to it and she does have a problem, you can help them cross that bridge when you come to it, I did my training in Wales for working with users so I know quite a few good people up there, if you need their help just PM me.

[Escapee]

Slow down, don't let your mind run away with things, in all likelihood she isn't addicted to anything yet and has just hit things hard in the last month, I would suggest leaving it to her mother, hopefully it's nothing to get 'that' worried about and if there is more to it and she does have a problem, you can help them cross that bridge when you come to it, I did my training in Wales for working with users so I know quite a few good people up there, if you need their help just PM me.

Thanks for the offer, I may take you up on that soon. She has moved out and will not speak to her mother, it is a complete turnaround because I always thought it a little odd that she went out drinking with her mother and mothers friends. So she has broken all ties with her close friends, at least she is speaking to me and even though I am a lot older than her we have always had a good laugh together.

The slight bit of good news is that the mother says its 'Speed' she is taking, I have just got the boyfriends name and I am making some enquiries with a couple of guys I know, one was dealing in the area for a while and he may be able to fill me in the details what the guy uses and if he is dealing etc.

[homealone]

Thanks for the offer, I may take you up on that soon. She has moved out and will not speak to her mother, it is a complete turnaround because I always thought it a little odd that she went out drinking with her mother and mothers friends. So she has broken all ties with her close friends, at least she is speaking to me and even though I am a lot older than her we have always had a good laugh together.

The slight bit of good news is that the mother says its 'Speed' she is taking, I have just got the boyfriends name and I am making some enquiries with a couple of guys I know, one was dealing in the area for a while and he may be able to fill me in the details what the guy uses and if he is dealing etc.

Hmm, I'm not so sure, the catch phrase that 'speed kills' can come true. It might not be as a direct result of, say, an overdose, but the strain of taking lots of stimulants can have a devastating effect on your heart, while the loss of appetite can cause malnutrition. Depression & other psychological effects are also possible with long term use.

It is great you are showing such concern, but do be careful you don't get too involved, as she may want to just use you for the support. She has to see the situation she is in is no good & want to get out of it of her own accord. The danger is she will just drift along the same path all the while she can 'depend' on your help?

[lauzjp]

It is great you are showing such concern, but do be careful you don't get too involved, as she may want to just use you for the support. She has to see the situation she is in is no good & want to get out of it of her own accord. The danger is she will just drift along the same path all the while she can 'depend' on your help?

Escapee, direct her to services by all means, offer to go to the doctors with her, etc. but don't end up being a mug like me. :o:

[Vlad_Dracul]

Escapee-you will not heed my advice but I am going to give it anyway. Been there,done that. The most important thing for you do to is on no account interfere or get involved. In this situation,and if it is drugs,people have to find their own level and sort themselves out. You can't and shouldn't do anything becuase you probably dont have the experience to deal with it AND its up to them what they do.

[superbiatch]

Slow down, don't let your mind run away with things, in all likelihood she isn't addicted to anything yet and has just hit things hard in the last month, I would suggest leaving it to her mother, hopefully it's nothing to get 'that' worried about and if there is more to it and she does have a problem, you can help them cross that bridge when you come to it, I did my training in Wales for working with users so I know quite a few good people up there, if you need their help just PM me.

I'm inclined to agree with The Daddy on this one - do you know how widely used cocaine is?? You'd be suprised i'm sure! Just because she is a user, doesn't mean she's addicted - she could just have had a few rough weeks as The Daddy says. Out in Liverpool every weekend, cocaine is virtually as popular as drinking alcohol and these people don't do it every day of the week, just as a recreational drug at the weekends. These people are also highly educated and understand the risks - so i think people's perceptions that everyone looks like a crack/heroin user and is totally dependant on coke is to blame for Escapee's worries - although i'm not saying its safe by any means.

You sound like a good friend :), all you can do is listen and learn - believe me i know exactly how it feels to be you ;)

[Escapee]

I'm inclined to agree with The Daddy on this one - do you know how widely used cocaine is?? You'd be suprised i'm sure! Just because she is a user, doesn't mean she's addicted - she could just have had a few rough weeks as The Daddy says. Out in Liverpool every weekend, cocaine is virtually as popular as drinking alcohol and these people don't do it every day of the week, just as a recreational drug at the weekends. These people are also highly educated and understand the risks - so i think people's perceptions that everyone looks like a crack/heroin user and is totally dependant on coke is to blame for Escapee's worries - although i'm not saying its safe by any means.

You sound like a good friend :), all you can do is listen and learn - believe me i know exactly how it feels to be you ;)

I know what you are saying about cocaine users, I have know one fairly well for the past 20 years who holds down a steady job. It would not be obvious that he has a habit, but his mentality is completely different and he was proably way more grown up when he started taking coke.

I am probably just as much concerned about the **** she is now associating with as well as the drugs, I didn't realise that I in fact know the older brother who is about the same age as me. He also has an 18 yr old girlfriend that he keeps well supplied with drugs as a friend told me ages ago that he deals, now alll 4 are living together the 2 brothers and the 2 young girls. He was stood right next to me at the bar friday night and I didn't even realise he was the brother. Someone who has known me for quite a while made a comment to me about the fact that I have a nasty temper, I believe this was probably done without my knowledge to let him know. He even had the cheek to talk to me and I was unaware.

I assume he is already aware that I am not amused, or would not be when I found out. I had noticed this guy watching her a lot a while ago, and he always watched me when I was talking to her and the other barmaid. I think this older brother has as much to do with enticing her as the younger one she is seeing.

I did get a call from her and she was a little upset with my reaction, I think she misjudged me and thought that I would be cool about her antics. I told her I am dissapointed and annoyed with her because she is associating with such **** as she is far better than that. She did contact her mother a bit later very upset and it may of been due to my comments, she has promised not to do it again but until she is away from him I think that is unlikely. I know she eat a full dinner on Sunday so at least that is one step in the right direction

I know it sounds bad, but I just hope he has his fun with her and gets bored. I know she is already struggling for money, there is little chance that she would ask me for money after my conversation with her and she wouldn't get any from me, she knows me well enough to know I am no mug. I would help if it was buying her food or something she needed but I would not hand her cash under any circumstances.

[superbiatch]

Sounds like its playing the waiting game then - he sounds like a right scumbag so i hope she bins him off as soon as she wisens up :) are you sure you only care because you are a friend? (if anyone gave that much of a damn about me i'd feel honoured :))

[Escapee]

Sounds like its playing the waiting game then - he sounds like a right scumbag so i hope she bins him off as soon as she wisens up :) are you sure you only care because you are a friend? (if anyone gave that much of a damn about me i'd feel honoured :))

I am just a friend, but you are not the first person to suspect it may be more. I have a laugh and joke with her and her mother, it would never be any more than that.

[superbiatch]

I am just a friend, but you are not the first person to suspect it may be more. I have a laugh and joke with her and her mother, it would never be any more than that.

Its no ones business but your own anyway hun, you sound like a great friend :)

[Escapee]

I have been away for a week but there have been a few developments.

Thursday before last this girl came down the street with 2 blokes and one was kicking the door of a house at the end of my street to get in. I didn't realise it was her until she spoke to me, and they were entering a house that was being used to supply drugs.

I have made some further enquiries and now realise the boyfriend used to live in this house with his previous girlfriend, I remember coming home from the pub and seeing young kids knocking the door buying drugs last summer. The usual entry to this house was through the window or by kicking the front door to gain access.

I mentioned to someone who knew his previous girlfriend that he used to beat her regular and I remember seeing her sat on the pavement crying saying 'you have taken all my friends, my possessions and my money' her friend admitted to me that this was in fact true, he used to beat her often.

I am afraid his new gf (my friend) will probably be subjected to the same, if he does give her a good beating perhaps it will be the wake up call she needs. His whole family are well known **** around here, I also know that he was caught receiving stolen goods when he lived in my street.

[Pedro1]

Slow down, don't let your mind run away with things, in all likelihood she isn't addicted to anything yet and has just hit things hard in the last month, I would suggest leaving it to her mother, hopefully it's nothing to get 'that' worried about and if there is more to it and she does have a problem, you can help them cross that bridge when you come to it, I did my training in Wales for working with users so I know quite a few good people up there, if you need their help just PM me.

I agree i had a good friend who was nearly hooked but overcame it with our help.

Sad story she has recently tragically been killed in a car accident.

Wast of life, driver never had a licence and only got a 12 month ban and £1000 fine.

[zing_deleted]

I have been away for a week but there have been a few developments.

Thursday before last this girl came down the street with 2 blokes and one was kicking the door of a house at the end of my street to get in. I didn't realise it was her until she spoke to me, and they were entering a house that was being used to supply drugs.

I have made some further enquiries and now realise the boyfriend used to live in this house with his previous girlfriend, I remember coming home from the pub and seeing young kids knocking the door buying drugs last summer. The usual entry to this house was through the window or by kicking the front door to gain access.

I mentioned to someone who knew his previous girlfriend that he used to beat her regular and I remember seeing her sat on the pavement crying saying 'you have taken all my friends, my possessions and my money' her friend admitted to me that this was in fact true, he used to beat her often.

I am afraid his new gf (my friend) will probably be subjected to the same, if he does give her a good beating perhaps it will be the wake up call she needs. His whole family are well known **** around here, I also know that he was caught receiving stolen goods when he lived in my street.

Some people are beyond help mate they have to either see it for themselves or go under. You could end up getting yourself involved in a bad situation if you do try to interfere to much.Often these type of "****" as you elequently endowed them could quite easily turn to violence against you if your not careful. I know this is hard but I personally think you would be better off distancing yourself from the situation until it blows up in her face then you can be there for her.

[Pedro1]

Some people are beyond help mate they have to either see it for themselves or go under. You could end up getting yourself involved in a bad situation if you do try to interfere to much.Often these type of "****" as you elequently endowed them could quite easily turn to violence against you if your not careful. I know this is hard but I personally think you would be better off distancing yourself from the situation until it blows up in her face then you can be there for her.

Zing we done a great job of getting our m8 wee Dawn out of it.
She was kicking around with some undesirables who both me and my best m8, (her brother) never liked.

You are right SOME people are beyond help but you still need to get in there b4 it goes that far, if you can.

[zing_deleted]

But what I am saying is the drug culture has changed over the last 10/15 years. When I was younger(much younger) I was involved in someway and the mojority of the small time dealers were fairly ok blokes. Nowadays they tend to be not,violence is second nature to them and a lot of them are more than prepared to use weapons. On my estate for example there is a proper gangster gangs club house now some of these guys are more than capable and willing to kill (well thats hearsay but I know it pretty definate) and there are the chav dealers who are the young up and coming dealers. Ironically enough you are more likely to encounter violence if your not a dealer yourself if you end up involved with the chavs and these guys are dangerous cuz this culture do not care about anything or anybody and will happily beat you within an inch of your life just for looking at some of them and they will never face you off 1 on 1 and often use weapons. Now im sumising here but this sounds like the group the ops friend is involved with.Thats why I advise caution

[lauzjp]

I have to agree with Zing, nowadays you never know who is carrying weapons. Dealers I've seen only really fight with other dealers, or people who owe them hundreds of pounds...

The kids close to the scene are often holding because their older bro typically knows that the kid will not be charged with possession, and if they do they'll only go to a Young Offenders Institute. So the kids have no fear of using violence / with weapons.

[Escapee]

But what I am saying is the drug culture has changed over the last 10/15 years. When I was younger(much younger) I was involved in someway and the mojority of the small time dealers were fairly ok blokes. Nowadays they tend to be not,violence is second nature to them and a lot of them are more than prepared to use weapons. On my estate for example there is a proper gangster gangs club house now some of these guys are more than capable and willing to kill (well thats hearsay but I know it pretty definate) and there are the chav dealers who are the young up and coming dealers. Ironically enough you are more likely to encounter violence if your not a dealer yourself if you end up involved with the chavs and these guys are dangerous cuz this culture do not care about anything or anybody and will happily beat you within an inch of your life just for looking at some of them and they will never face you off 1 on 1 and often use weapons. Now im sumising here but this sounds like the group the ops friend is involved with.Thats why I advise caution

I have stepped back from it, she knows where to find me and she knows I will help. She is a little niave and not very street wise, and certainly the type to be easily taken advantage of.

I think this group would use weapons, mainly because the gang leader and the guys older brother has certainly shown signs that they are a little afraid of me. The really bad one who is leader of the group tried to make small talk with me in the pub last night and was going out of his way to try and make friends with me.

[lostandconfused]

I have stepped back from it, she knows where to find me and she knows I will help. She is a little niave and not very street wise, and certainly the type to be easily taken advantage of.

I think this group would use weapons, mainly because the gang leader and the guys older brother has certainly shown signs that they are a little afraid of me. The really bad one who is leader of the group tried to make small talk with me in the pub last night and was going out of his way to try and make friends with me.

i think thats the best approach, let them know you are there for them if they need you but thats it.

You cant force someone to give up drugs if they dont want to, they will always find a way to get thier next fix. It sounds harsh but you have to stand back and let them realise for themselves that its not worth it and try and pick up the pieces after.