View Full Version : Sharing a bed - questions for the men
greencreeper
29-05-2007, 19:09
Men...
Would you share a bed, purely for sleeping purposes, with a gay man?
How would you react/feel if, after sharing a bed with a man, you later discovered he was gay?
Do you feel that you have a right to know that a man is gay, if you intend sharing a bed with him?
dilli-theclaw
29-05-2007, 19:13
I'll probably get pounced on for this, but I must admit to being uneasy at the prospect.
Sorry, I suspect in all homesty it's my ignorance rather than anything would 'happen'
Having said that I'd probably do it anyway, sleep is sleep.
edit - and I'd be a lot happier if I knew first.
I don't mean to offend anyone.
greencreeper
29-05-2007, 19:15
That's fine, Dilli - I was expecting the majority of men to say the same thing. Do you feel able to expand on what you fear?
As long as he promised to respect me in the morning ...... :p:
If you trust or expect the person to respect your sexuality then it should work both ways. Let's face it, the other person may not even think you are attractive lol
dilli-theclaw
29-05-2007, 19:19
I think the problem as I've said is my ignorance on the subject. I'd be worried he'd 'go for me' during the night.
Obviously not going to happen,.
I think if I actually got to know someone who IS gay then I'd not have a problem if you see what I mean.
TheDaddy
29-05-2007, 19:20
Men...
Would you share a bed, purely for sleeping purposes, with a gay man?
How would you react/feel if, after sharing a bed with a man, you later discovered he was gay?
Do you feel that you have a right to know that a man is gay, if you intend sharing a bed with him?
All depends on the situation really, if it came out, so to speak afterwards as am off the cuff throw away remark I wouldn't be to bothered, anyway enough about me, what have you done to make you ask this question? :D
Revelation - I have done :D
One of the wrestlers on the rosters is gay and we did a show in Bristol last year, 6 of us missed the train back so we all crashed in one of the guys' gaff, I was in agony and grabbed the other double bed and so did the gay fella. He knows I'm not an uphill gardener (he probably doesn't fancy me anyway) and to be honest I was more interested in a good nights' sleep because of the pain to worry about if he'd try it on.
Saying that it was probably more to do with the fact I know the guy. If it was a gay bloke I didn't know then perhaps Id feel uneasy.
budwieser
29-05-2007, 19:33
Men...
Would you share a bed, purely for sleeping purposes, with a gay man?
How would you react/feel if, after sharing a bed with a man, you later discovered he was gay?
Do you feel that you have a right to know that a man is gay, if you intend sharing a bed with him?
Why do you ask the question to start with?
I just see visions of " Trains, Planes and automobiles" where steve martin wakes up!!!!!!!!!! :eek::eek:
Wouldn't really bother me as long as there was a decent amount of space between us (that goes for if the other guy was gay or not)
I'd not be comfortable being close together with another man in bed if it was too close together, in that case I'd be looking for a comfy bit of floor.
zing_deleted
29-05-2007, 19:40
I can quite happliy sleep on the floor or in a chair so wouldnt happen
dilli-theclaw
29-05-2007, 19:44
Mind you if they snore then I couldn't care WHO it is I can't share....
TheDaddy
29-05-2007, 19:46
I just see visions of " Trains, Planes and automobiles" where steve martin wakes up!!!!!!!!!! :eek::eek:
That's not a pillow :Yikes: :D
I'm not a good sleeper, so I don't really want to share a bed with anyone except the missus. Noone else but her would stand me anyway. I snore like a jackhammer, talk in my sleep, twitch and toss constantly. And to boot I suffer with sleep apneoa. A little side story, before me and the missus were going out, the option came up to share a bed. I declined because knowing me, she'd wake up with me, with me asleep and my hand on boobs, and i'd end up in the 'Scrubs.
Push come to shove though, it wouldn't bother me. With no disrespect to anyone that disagrees, here's my view: I'm not arrogant enough to think that every man fancies me, and just because someone's gay, it doesn't mean they'd take advantage of me. So it doesn't really make a difference. The thing is though, with my sleep behavior, its more likely that we'd wake up with me cuddling him than the other way around. And lets face it. Gay men have to use male changing rooms. And there's no way to tell if anyone is gay. So you can't be too paranoid about it.
With regards to "should I know?", no. Its none of my business.
I wouldn't share a bed with anyone I didn't know and trust. In fact, I have only ever shared a bed with my missus. :D
On the other hand I have shared tents with males and females, two males in particular who were both close friends in my teens and who both later 'came out'. I can't say it bothered me in retrospect and TBH although circumstances meant we never went camping after that, it wouldn't have bothered me anyway. Like I said, I wouldn't do it with anyone I didn't trust.
As with Chris, I wouldn't share a bed with anyone I didn't know and trust. However, if needs be, I will happily share a bed with a friend, gay or not. Indeed, I have done (although he was my sister's boyfriend at the time, so I was fairly certain he was straight).
I'm moved to reply to this thread despite the request that only men should reply.
I do have to ask why the question?The reason I ask is because I've shared beds with members of my own sex and never ever did the thought cross my mind about them being gay.I can also say the same about womens changing rooms.I'm more likely to be worrying about my 'spare tyres' and whether I had remembered to put some decent underwear on than the sexuality of those present.I also bet that every female member of these forums hasn't thought about it either.
Is this something that only men worry about?
Coggy.:)
Dan_Sette
29-05-2007, 20:56
Not something that has occurred to me as a patricularly deep thought.
I have shared a bed with another bloke when I was younger. Dodn't think twice was exceptionally tired and had a great nights sleep.
Oddly around the same time I was in a situation (which isn't worth going into) where I had to share a bed with a female friend of long standing (both very good friends - no incling or desire for a relationship). I started in a chair and SHE suggested that it was crazy me not getting a decent nights sleep.
Worst nights sleep EVER. Afraid I'd snore or embarrass myself, or worse moving in bed and touching her accidentally and it being regarded as an inappropriate move.
Ended up lying awake for six hours, half hanging off the edge of the bed not daring to get out in case I woke her up.
D
Eric Morcombe and Ernie Wise never had a problem sleeping together. Why should anyone else?
homealone
29-05-2007, 21:09
Interesting question, I was a boarder at an all boys school, there were about 40 boarders in a roll of around 300.
When I first started, age 11, it was old fashioned, so we had a compulsory mile walk before breakfast, or cold plunge baths if it was raining. Swimming wasn't compulsory, but we had a (small) indoor pool so it was something to do after school. 'Bathing costumes' were not permitted, though - order of the headmaster, who followed his own rule ;)
When that head retired, the new one 'modernised' things a little - trunks were allowed in the pool, for example :)
However sports changing & the showers remained communal - and not just in the boarding house, where up to 13 of us slept in each 'dormitory' and the 4 baths available were not screened in any way.
The thing is, that given all that male communal nudity, I can't remember any problem with someone 'trying it on' & have to reach the conclusion I am lucky Mrs Gaz took pity on me, 'cos if anyone at school was gay, they obviously didn't fancy me. :D
But, sorry, to answer the question, I have shared a bed with both straight & gay men, for sleeping only, and the worst one was sharing with my brother, once, when I 'snuggled' - which freaked us both out :Yikes:
swoop101
29-05-2007, 21:24
No probs, I used to kip down with a lot of my mates and more than one is gay.
They know that if they want to stay intact they keep their bits to themselves.
Men...
Would you share a bed, purely for sleeping purposes, with a gay man?
How would you react/feel if, after sharing a bed with a man, you later discovered he was gay?
Do you feel that you have a right to know that a man is gay, if you intend sharing a bed with him?
As long as he doesn;t give me a love bite I can't see a problem:D:D:D I'd have to be the daddy though:D:D:D Seriously though I don't have a problem if it came to that, I have a few mates who bat for the other team and if it came to sharing a bed I know I could trust them.
TheBlueRaja
29-05-2007, 21:49
Depends, if the guy is just gay, dosent flaunt it and talks with normal pitch and tone acts like a guy who's "just gay" then no i wouldnt object.
If he talks like he has a clamp on his nuts and has a tendancy to dress up in frocks then no chance.
Raistlin
29-05-2007, 22:15
Yep, no probs.
greencreeper
29-05-2007, 22:17
Let's face it, the other person may not even think you are attractive lol
I didn't expect anyone to consider that :)
I'd be worried he'd 'go for me' during the night.
That's exactly what I expected people to say :)
I'm moved to reply to this thread despite the request that only men should reply
Well I didn't request it - I just thought it was more relevant to men, for the reasons I'm about to discuss....
I do have to ask why the question?The reason I ask is because I've shared beds with members of my own sex and never ever did the thought cross my mind about them being gay.I can also say the same about womens changing rooms.I'm more likely to be worrying about my 'spare tyres' and whether I had remembered to put some decent underwear on than the sexuality of those present.I also bet that every female member of these forums hasn't thought about it either.
Is this something that only men worry about?
I think the answer is, "Yes". I don't fully understand why, but I think it's partly to do with lesbians somehow being less threatening to men than gay men, and also because women, without being sexist, do tend to be more "touchy-feely" with each other - and comfortable about it. Men are not. You don't often see men hug, and when they do, it's brief, and more physical - brief hug, slap on the back...
If he talks like he has a clamp on his nuts and has a tendancy to dress up in frocks then no chance.
I wouldn't share a bed with a bloke like that :D
Firstly, men do tend to have this fixed idea that (a) they are attractive to all gay men; and (b) all gay men are after their **** (i.e. as oppose to their "frontal bits"). Obviously, rationally, this is nonsense - but fear isn't a rational thing, nor are the things that fear makes us do. I find it interesting the way straight men think. I do believe you all think the same way - just some are more self-aware and adjust their thinking.
I'm in the position of having to share a room with 3 men, all straight. There are 3 beds - two single, one double. Don't ask why we ended up with a family room :D Anyway, I hate being forced into a corner. I hate having my decisions influenced - I want to be free, and not subject to the tortures of conscience and consideration. I feel I have the right to tell people I'm gay - or not. For me, it's not an issue, but it becomes an issue for me because it's an issue for others. So, do I make a claim on a single bed, and say nothing. But what happens if the single beds are claimed and there's me and another guy to share the double? Do I tell him? If I don't tell him, and he later discovers I'm gay, he may be distressed and upset. But is this my problem or his?
Right mess :rolleyes:
papa smurf
29-05-2007, 22:18
well if he's a mate you allready know he's gay ,and he knows your not so no problem ,if he's a stranger then i have to ask why your in bed with him,and in my experiance you can spot a gay man from 10 miles away, any way wot ever gets you thru the day its not a crime, i snore fart and grind my teeth in my sleep oh yes i mummble allot to, so i only sleep with the good humored
i snore fart and grind my teeth in my sleep oh yes i mummble allot to, so i only sleep with the good humored
Bet you get loads of action :dozey: :D
greencreeper
29-05-2007, 22:23
well if he's a mate you allready know he's gay ,and he knows your not so no problem ,if he's a stranger then i have to ask why your in bed with him
Interesting that you make a clear, simple distinction between "mate" and "stranger". I have mates - they all know I'm gay. But there are people I know, who are not mates nor strangers, but who don't know I'm gay. Work colleagues (some of them - one or two know) fall into this category.
and in my experiance you can spot a gay man from 10 miles away
You think you can, but I'd have a tenner that there are people you know who are gay or bisexual and you have no idea :)
papa smurf
29-05-2007, 22:27
i know exactly who my gay friends and family members are;)
gaffer_gump
29-05-2007, 22:28
Do any of the three men know your gay? if so can't you bunk up with the one who does and doesn't mind, if none of them know then hmmmm you had better go to bed early with a headache and bag a single bed.
It's a real tough question, I would be put out if I was the chosen one and found out at a later date even though it's not really any of my business.
I hope morning wood aint gonna be a problem.. :D
papa smurf
29-05-2007, 22:35
Bet you get loads of action :dozey: :D
its a northern thing mate [strange what floats some peoples boat]:cool:
Raistlin
29-05-2007, 22:40
Interesting, I find myself wondering if you'd ever see the following question posted on a Forum frequented by predominantly gay men:
Men...
Would you share a bed, purely for sleeping purposes, with a straight man?
How would you react/feel if, after sharing a bed with a man, you later discovered he was straight?
Do you feel that you have a right to know that a man is straight, if you intend sharing a bed with him?
I doubt that you would, yet there really isn't (or rather, should be) any difference.....
That might be because IMO far less gay men are 'troubled' by the thought of straight men.
Raistlin
29-05-2007, 22:49
That might be because IMO far less gay men are 'troubled' by the thought of straight men.
Agreed, I just don't see why that should be though. I understand that some straight men find themselves 'troubled' by gay men, but I just don't get it.
greencreeper
29-05-2007, 22:58
Do any of the three men know your gay? if so can't you bunk up with the one who does and doesn't mind
The one who does know, I doubt would be comfortable with the idea
I hope morning wood aint gonna be a problem.. :D
I'm more worried about forgetting and snuggling up next to him :disturbd:
That might be because IMO far less gay men are 'troubled' by the thought of straight men.
Exactly. Some gay men see them as a challenge :p:
Firstly, men do tend to have this fixed idea that (a) they are attractive to all gay men; and (b) all gay men are after their **** (i.e. as oppose to their "frontal bits").
If you saw my wiggle bum dance, you'd understand.
Obviously, rationally, this is nonsense
Are you calling me ugly??? :(
greencreeper
30-05-2007, 17:10
Are you calling me ugly??? :(
I'm not entirely convinced you're been serious, but... not all women are going to find you attractive, and neither are all gay men. Some will find you attractive, that's for sure - there's someone for everyone.
Post a pic :D
I'm not entirely convinced you're been serious, but... not all women are going to find you attractive, and neither are all gay men. Some will find you attractive, that's for sure - there's someone for everyone.
Post a pic :D
You asked for it :D
https://www.cableforum.co.uk/images/local/2007/05/17.jpg
gaffer_gump
30-05-2007, 17:22
Looks like its all sorted Greencreeper just take Xaccers with ya and I think he will do a great job of deflecting the attention away form your good self..
Looks like its all sorted Greencreeper just take Xaccers with ya and I think he will do a great job of deflecting the attention away form your good self..
Think my gf might object though.
---------- Post added at 17:24 ---------- Previous post was at 17:23 ----------
Oh dear...
Hey Russ! I've just had an idea for a new wrestling outfit you can wear!
You asked for it :D
http://www.finmereairsoft.co.uk/attenda/xmas06/images/IMG_0152.jpg
Well, that's your problem solved, as there won't be space for another person in the bed. :p:
pondering this question the soloution seems to be as follows.
on retiring to bed i would turn to the other guy & give him a big wet kiss
you can then go to sleep , leaving him wondering & sleepless the rest of the night .
You think you can, but I'd have a tenner that there are people you know who are gay or bisexual and you have no idea :)
Same goes for celebrities - I was actually surprised when George Michael got publically outed.
Exactly. Some gay men see them as a challenge :p:
Exactly. The idea of a guy who won't take no for an answer is a lot more... intimidating than that of a woman who won't take no for an answer.
alferret
30-05-2007, 20:22
I have always been quite homophobic, but having got to know a guy who "bats for the other side" I dont think it would be a problem as long as he kept his hands to himself :angel:
If it is a family member or a friend then I wouldnt mind.
For example, let's say it's for one night or we are crashing at someone's house and there are only double beds.
I don't think I'd be worried as I would only share the bed with someone who 1) knew me well enough to know I was straight and 2) knew that if he tried anything I would never speak to them again or trust them again.
Sleep is sleep. Just turn over and face the other way and wake up in the morning.
---------- Post added at 20:52 ---------- Previous post was at 20:38 ----------
I don't think you should say anything.
Just go to bed as normal and have a good nights sleep.
Why do you have to tell them if you are gay or not.
If I have to share a bed I don't go up to the person and announce "By the way, I would like you to know I am straight".
Don't worry about it. You shouldn't end up having any problems.
greencreeper
30-05-2007, 22:21
You asked for it :D
Yes, well, erm, not so sure about the hair or the red lycra :erm:
Think my gf might object though
Dressed like that it's a wonder you have one at all :D
That reminds me of a female friend who took on a gay man as a challenge - and discovered he was straight :rofl:
The idea of a guy who won't take no for an answer is a lot more... intimidating than that of a woman who won't take no for an answer
I find both equally intimidating.
Why do you have to tell them if you are gay or not. If I have to share a bed I don't go up to the person and announce "By the way, I would like you to know I am straight"
Life is very different for straight guys though - it's taken as given that you're straight. Coming out is very much a gay thing.
Yes, well, erm, not so sure about the hair or the red lycra :erm:
Dressed like that it's a wonder you have one at all :D
I'm SO glad you were the 1 to say that first! :rofl:
I find both equally intimidating.
The way I see it is this: if a bird won't take no for an answer, & politeness just isn't working, you can usually make them lose interest with an insult or 2. Worst case scenario [doesn't apply to "bunny boilers"] would typically be that you might get a slap. Not exactly an ideal outcome, but it could be a lot worse. With blokes, it's a whole different ball-game [no pun intended :disturbd:]. Blokes who won't take no for an answer are often doing so from a position of arrogance or ego, & are therefore more likely to become violent. With women, whilst it can be ego-related, it's less likely for the outcome to be anything more violent than a slap.
I dont think that it would be awkward in case 'he went for you' but I think it would be awkward because you'ld would be sure how to react. In your mind you dont think anything will help but you are very much aware of the fact it could be thought of and your worried about saying/doing anything to offend the guy or make yourself look stupid.
It's a question of trust. The same can be said for a woman in this situation. If she trusts the man then she would, assuming it was the logical thing to do and where there wasn't a practical alternative.Someone being gay doesn't mean they 1) Will want to have sex with any other man who ends up in their bed and 2) Will go against another persons wishes and or ignore their sexual preference(s). Finding out that the person you just slept in the same bed with is gay isn't a problem because you trusted them anyway.
Out of interest, how do you know the other 3 guys aren't gay?
greencreeper
31-05-2007, 22:54
Out of interest, how do you know the other 3 guys aren't gay?
I just do :) Do you think I'd be worrying like this if an orgy was likely :p:
Seriously, a very good question. Two definitely are, and one is a maybe bisexual.
I just do :) Do you think I'd be worrying like this if an orgy was likely :p:
Seriously, a very good question. Two definitely are, and one is a maybe bisexual.
How do you know they definitely are though?
They might just not have come out.
Never assume, as it makes an ass out of U and me (oo-er)
Could be a fun night!
greencreeper
01-06-2007, 18:51
I should have said, "two definitely AREN'T" :D Anyway, we gay men have a 6th sense for these things, though mine is a bit faulty :erm: I'll let you know how the orgy goes. Maybe post some pics :erm: :p:
Just use protection, a 4x2 should do it :)
Anyway, we gay men have a 6th sense for these things, though mine is a bit faulty :erm:
Maybe you need an upgade?
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