View Full Version : [Merged] Do you know your neighbours?
I was listening to the radio this lunchtime and they were talking about a recent "survey" that showed that 6 out of 10 people (Dont know how many they asked) did not know the names of their immediate neighbours, let alone spoke with them or were friends.....
Are we increasingly losing community where we live? Why are we not as friendly as we were. Or would you discredit the above?
I know the first names of my neighbours, don't really speak to them, just a hello if we see each other.
My neighbours are ace. We have impromptu BBQs, beers on the street, I've never paid for child care, when I was ill neighbours popped in to check on me, when my friend was terminally ill, neighbours did her grass, cooked her meals etc. Community still alive and kicking here :)
Yep I know my neighbours :)
I know all my neighbours, talk with them frequently.
we are all good friends have regular BBQs and we are all going camping over bank holiday weekend :D
thats 8 adults and 9 kids :tu:
MovedGoalPosts
16-08-2005, 14:30
I'll say hello to them if we happen to meet as we jump in and out of cars. But they dissapear inside the house as fast as I do, so never have a conversation.
we are all good friends have regular BBQs and we are all going camping over bank holiday weekend :D
thats 8 adults and 9 kids :tu:
I can beat that! ;) I've holidayed with my neighbours, had BBQs with them, Friday night drinks down the Swan and Cem ...... and, oh, they saved my life!! :) Clearly this part of Lancashire's the place to be though eh Mark? ;)
On one side we have an old guy and his mother. He's been here longer than I have so I know him, etc. He used to be a bit of a git as he wouldn't throw footballs back. He's pretty out of it now though so I don't have a whole lot to do with him. He and his mother have carers btw.
On the other side is a family. We know their names, and somewhat about them but we don't interact much socially. We say a polite hello in the street if we meet, but that's about as far as it goes. I did meet the wife in a shop a little while ago, and had a 2 min chat which was nice.
Our street doesn't change much, so I know a few other families down the way by name, mostly through my parents. Goes as far as a polite hello too and that's it.
Flubflow
16-08-2005, 14:38
My neighbours are ace. We have impromptu BBQs, beers on the street, I've never paid for child care, when I was ill neighbours popped in to check on me, when my friend was terminally ill, neighbours did her grass, cooked her meals etc. Community still alive and kicking here :)
Beers on the street? You are just sooo common as muck you are :D.
I can beat that! ;) I've holidayed with my neighbours, had BBQs with them, Friday night drinks down the Swan and Cem ...... and, oh, they saved my life!! :) Clearly this part of Lancashire's the place to be though eh Mark? ;)
cant fault you
does all the street get together on bonfire and party in the street at new year:D
I live in the middle of nowhere, but there are a handful of other houses out here with us too. One of them is a holiday home and rarely occupied, but I have spoken to all of my other neighbours and know the names of all bar one of them.
Before this I lived on a council estate in Hemel Hempstead, and in five years did not get to know as many of my neighbours as I knew after five weeks here.
I can beat that! ;) I've holidayed with my neighbours, had BBQs with them, Friday night drinks down the Swan and Cem ...... and, oh, they saved my life!! :) Clearly this part of Lancashire's the place to be though eh Mark? ;)
We go to the swan & cem for meals quite often.
On just the one side only, the other side keep themselves to themselves...
I know the names of a couple of neighbours (some teach my kids!) and 'pass the time of day' with my next door, but thats about it. A stand-offish southerner ;)
Yes I know all my neighbours
Every year we all have a BBQ in the street (dead-end) and each year we all go out for a christmas meal. (About 80 people in all) :)
Yes I know my neighbours, we often chat outside the houses, and as we often had power failures, we got to know ech other whilst standing outside waiting for the power to come back on.
I still go back to my old street and have a beer or two with my old next door neighbour at least once a month.
MadGamer
16-08-2005, 15:49
On just the one side only, the other side keep themselves to themselves...
Same here.
atlantis
16-08-2005, 15:49
I've got great neighbours, including a policeman, living right next door.
Fantastic people in this street!
We all talk all the time.
My neighbours are ace. We have impromptu BBQs, beers on the street, I've never paid for child care, when I was ill neighbours popped in to check on me, when my friend was terminally ill, neighbours did her grass, cooked her meals etc. Community still alive and kicking here :)
Sounds just like here (except for the terminally ill friend, at least so far)
zoombini
16-08-2005, 22:02
Yeah, one side is an old couple, great to get on with, t'other side a rather annoying young couple who don't seemt o give a monkeys who they inconvenience with thier waggons & visitors cars Grrr.
Nope but that is because there are two empty houses on one side and on the other side they only moved in in June.. :(
However I know other people in the street because they are members of the working mens club and the British Legion where my husband wast... errrrr hangs out. :)
Chimaera
16-08-2005, 22:15
I know them on one side, and the neighbours next to them - and a couple of families further on from them.
On the other side of me are 3 houses that are rented out, tends to be short term lets, none of them ever speak English so it's very hard to get to know them!
greencreeper
16-08-2005, 23:11
My parents know most of the people in their village and their life histories, not just the neighbours. "Old Mrs X - you know. Her son took with the lass from the chip shop. Had a kid..." It was a different time.
As for me... The guy next door is a quiet black guy who seems a few cards short of a full deck. The house next door, I dunno about. Then there's the chav family from hell - front door open all the time. Over the road, the two end houses are chav central (big gangs hanging around, encouraged by the "parents"). Over the road is a drug dealer - well I'm pretty certain he his. That said, he did rescue a parcel for me, which was nice. I guess in his line of work he appreciates the importance of parcels. To the right is just the bin yard (no one lives there yet) and then a house where a bloke lives that I've seen only once. I think he looks after the bins.
It's a different world now, but I think that's only part of it - we're less sociable too. My mate (in his 60s) knows a lot of his neighbours, but he makes the effort to be, well, nosey :)
I know a fair few of the people at our end of the street (the other end's full of wierd people who, for some strange reason, had that James Blunt song on repeat play for about 4 hours last night :shrug: )
Me and Mrs Nug often go to the pub with our next door neighbours and a couple from over the road (Thursday Night = Pub Quiz Night!), and I chat to quite a few of the others.
Beers on the street? You are just sooo common as muck you are :D.
Aye. And being a good Guardian reading bleeding heart I wear it as a badge of pride ;) :)
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cant fault you
does all the street get together on bonfire and party in the street at new year:D
We used to have bonfires on the back street (drinking beer again Flub!) until some miserable git phoned Trumpton. Apparently you need a licence, said the big man with the hose!
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We go to the swan & cem for meals quite often. Given the portion sizes does that mean you sport the infamous Bury Belly? :)
We're down there every Friday evening - with some neighbours in fact - whilst the kids do karate next door.
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Yes I know all my neighbours
Every year we all have a BBQ in the street (dead-end) and each year we all go out for a christmas meal. (About 80 people in all) :) That's very cool. :tu:
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Then there's the chav family from hell - front door open all the time. OI! We often leave our front door open - a practical measure as everyone - kids, friends etc - troop in and out at will. It's a sign of sociableness not, er, chavness, whatever that may be :)
Salu - Just a quick 'thanks' for this thread. Restored my faith in CF humanity somewhat ;) :)
greencreeper
17-08-2005, 08:55
OI! We often leave our front door open - a practical measure as everyone - kids, friends etc - troop in and out at will. It's a sign of sociableness not, er, chavness, whatever that may be :)
Hmmm. But do you put the clothes airer out on the pavement? Do the kids run riot, playing in bins, begging for change...? Can you be heard screaming from the living room, "Get your ****ing arse down here now"? Chav family :Yes:
Hmmm. But do you put the clothes airer out on the pavement? Do the kids run riot, playing in bins, begging for change...? Can you be heard screaming from the living room, "Get your ****ing arse down here now"? Chav family :Yes:
Ermmmmmmm ;) :D
So, is this representative or are we a particularly sociable lot? I note from the member's map that a lot of folk on the forum are from the north, does this have a bearing on our results? Are northerners more friendly for example?
Have things changed from days gone by are we more or less neighbourly than we were?
I think that there is a relation between the size of the city/town you live and "neighbourlinessnous" (great word). In other words the smaller the settlement the greater the community. I also think that as we now have cars we are less inclined to bump into people on the way somewhere or meet them on the bus. Because we tend to work a greater distance from home than we did (due to cars perhaps?) and work longer hours that maybe our natural community is our workplace?
(Thursday Night = Pub Quiz Night!)
.. are you crap at that one too? :) :rofl:
Well I'm a born again Northerner having been brought up in leafy Hertfordshire where, coincidentally or not, I don't recall us having too much to do with the neighbours.
.. are you crap at that one too?
Stop hijacking the thread with your puerile comments Sir.
:)
greencreeper
17-08-2005, 09:11
Following on from Salu's comments, I agree with what your suggesting, particularly that changing work patterns have eroded community. Many moons ago, like you say, a community built up around a workplace. The people had work in common. Titus Salt even built a community, complete with amenities, for his workforce. These days we're much more likely to live several miles from work and travel there either by car or public transport. In short, there's less to bind the community, so we just become disparate people. That's why small communities have a stronger community spirit - much more likely to have things in common, plus the relative isolation forces people together. Also harder to keep secrets :)
.. are you crap at that one too?
Stop hijacking the thread with your puerile comments Sir.
:)
:bsmack:
.. are you crap at that one too? :) :rofl:
Damn straight!
I'll have you know it's very difficult being this crap at everything ;) :D
I am classed as living in the south and we are definitely sociable here (so no North/South Download Failed (1) please). Although we do have one neighbour who seems to think planning rules do not apply to him (he is German and comes from Wales :erm: ).
Stop hijacking the thread with your puerile comments Sir.
:)
:rofl:
Pwn3d!!!!
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So, is this representative or are we a particularly sociable lot? I note from the member's map that a lot of folk on the forum are from the north, does this have a bearing on our results? Are northerners more friendly for example?
Have things changed from days gone by are we more or less neighbourly than we were?
I think that there is a relation between the size of the city/town you live and "neighbourlinessnous" (great word). In other words the smaller the settlement the greater the community. I also think that as we now have cars we are less inclined to bump into people on the way somewhere or meet them on the bus. Because we tend to work a greater distance from home than we did (due to cars perhaps?) and work longer hours that maybe our natural community is our workplace?
I was quite surprised at the number of northerners on the forum when I looked at the Members Map thread. I know the first CF meet was in Manchester, but there has been little appetite for anything outside of the Southeast since, so I always assumed the majority were from dahn sahth.
On the North-South thing, I think there is something in it. That's not to say that there aren't friendly communities in the south, but I think the problem is the ridiculous over-centralisation of big business and Government in the UK into southeast England has meant that the population there is far more mobile and transitory. That's not condusive to good, strong communities. When I lived in Hemel Hempstead, the in-joke was you could ask anyone where they are from, and 90% of them would say 'well I live in Hemel, but I'm from xxxxx'. Everyone was keen to disassociate themselves from the place. It's somewhere to stay because you work there, or in Watford or London, but not somewhere you're proud to own.
Up north there is less population mobility and therefore less tendency for traditional communities to become fragmented. Additionally you find that average commuting distances are much shorter, so that negates the other effect you mentioned.
liamboyle06
17-08-2005, 09:59
Voted yes, Know my neighbours, but rarely see them, when we do see each other it is usaully to find out what ahas happened since the last time we met
ian@huth
17-08-2005, 10:16
So, is this representative or are we a particularly sociable lot? I note from the member's map that a lot of folk on the forum are from the north, does this have a bearing on our results? Are northerners more friendly for example?
Have things changed from days gone by are we more or less neighbourly than we were?
I think that there is a relation between the size of the city/town you live and "neighbourlinessnous" (great word). In other words the smaller the settlement the greater the community. I also think that as we now have cars we are less inclined to bump into people on the way somewhere or meet them on the bus. Because we tend to work a greater distance from home than we did (due to cars perhaps?) and work longer hours that maybe our natural community is our workplace?Having moved around the country quite a lot over the years I would tend to say overall Northern people were more sociable than Southerners. A lot depends however on what type of property you move into. If it's part of a new build development you find that people tend to be more sociable. If you move into an existing property, particularly in a village area it takes longer to be accepted as part of the community.
I would say though that many people get the idea that people are less sociable when they first move house after their children have grown up. When the children are young you get to meet others in your neighbourhood when taking the children to school and picking them up after school. You also come together at things like birthday parties for younger children and when dropping off / picking up your children from friends houses.
I married a southerner :disturbd:
Looks like I'm the only one living in the middle of nowhere so far. Good thing there are a handful of friendly neighbours out here in nowheresville as well!
homealone
17-08-2005, 11:52
we live in a cul-de-sac, with only seven houses, so we are on at least 'nod & smile' terms with our neighbours.
Next door one side is a very old lady who doesn't get out, now, & the other side have recently moved out - however their daughter is allegedly moving in, so will be a friendly face.
Re: the 'north/south divide', as my family were from Essex, mainly, I am considered a 'southerner', even though I have lived here for over 25 years, now. If I was to generalise, i would say that 'northern' people are, superficially, less aloof than 'southern' people, but I believe it takes the same time to forge real friendships with both.
Maki is a southerner and he says that the people in Yorkshire are a lot friendlier than down south
I married a southerner :disturbd:
I married a girl from Bolton so that evens the score. :D
Much more social interaction here than there was when we lived in Hampshire. :)
I married a girl from Bolton so that evens the score. :D
Much more social interaction here than there was when we lived in Hampshire. :)
shes from chichester-sussex ;)
people round here think shes posh :rofl:
people round here think shes posh :rofl: Isn't Cilla from Corrrie classed as uber posh where you live mate? :D
Isn't Cilla from Corrrie classed as uber posh where you live mate? :D
if you get out of the bath for a pee you are classed as posh around hereoops:
if you get out of the bath for a pee you are classed as posh around hereoops: You have baths?! Blimey, Bolton has gone upmarket! :)
Do you know your neighbours Salu?
You have baths?! Blimey, Bolton has gone upmarket! :)
He says bath - what he means is that big puddle round the back :D
He says bath - what he means is that big puddle round the back :D
i can get pics of that mate :rolleyes:
He says bath - what he means is that big puddle round the back :D OI, the big puddle round the back of Bolton is probably Bury!! :( :D
Moving back slightly towards the topic, where I live is like Coronation Street. All cobbles and back streets and gossip. That makes me, by my reckoning, Jack Duckworth.
Actually the real life Candice lives just down the road.
i can get pics of that mate :rolleyes:
You want to count yourself lucky - we haven't even got that fancy elecktickery in Grimsby yet ;)
Tell you what - steam powered X-Box is an absolute bugger :disturbd:
greencreeper
17-08-2005, 23:38
Well she's not an immediate neighbour, but I had a chat with one of the ladies that walk around the area. She came out with the line that she knew me and we'd done business. I explained that it was highly unlikely since I was gay. That led to a chat about anal sex and whether gender mattered. One of her customers was gay - brought his vibrator with him. I explained that some men do feel attraction to women but I wasn't one of them. Seemed quite friendly. So I've made my first steps towards being more sociable :tu:
My neighbours are lovely. One side really look out for me, and always give a reasonable description of who has broken into the house or taken my car. The ones on the other side go out of their way to offer a mate's rate on class A drugs, have never once taken a shot gun to me, and on one memorable occasion when I mentioned that their rabid untrained akitas tended to bark at me through the fence, they kindly kicked the fence in to solve the problem.
So, Chris T lives out in the sticks, but still has nice neighbours. Simon M appears to have anger management issues, and greencreeper knows a "working girl" (nearly put woking there - that could have caused soo much trouble) and talks to her about anal sex... Nice to see things are back to normal... :D
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Anyhoo, in answer to the question: Yes I do know the names of two sets of neigbours, but don't know the other two sets.
We have two sets over the road: One family are a nice sort of bunch, but the husband does like to practice a single rythm on the drums for 18 hours each Saturday. There is a single man (about my age) over the road, but he is nasty to everyone and is (or has been) under psychiatric care if the rumour is correct.
The neighbours on the right are nice people, although they did spend years encouraging my Westie to leap over the fence into their back garden, then had an eight foot fence built and started to have a go at her when she tried to get in the garden. Hardly fair.
The neighbours on the left are, well, wierd. They don't encourage contact with anyone, leave all the Windows and Doors open (even in winter sometimes).
Do you know your neighbours Salu?
Yes I do.
On one side there is an elderly lady who lives by herself. Husband passed away and 2 kids live in the south (spits to the side) :) It a large house to maintain by herself though...5 bedrooms
The other side live an elderly women and her 50 something son who never married. She is in better health than him! He's very taciturn and shy and makes me feel a little uncomfortable when my kids are around, if I'm honest....
I know a few others in the vacinity but most are on nods and smile terms.
Certainly no social interactions....
I wonder if social class has anything to do with neighbourliness? Are middle class less friendly than working class? Maybe those are old fashioned expressions but what do you think?
I am getting ready to be shot down for this but I really do think that working class people are a lot friendlier
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My neighbours are lovely. One side really look out for me, and always give a reasonable description of who has broken into the house or taken my car. The ones on the other side go out of their way to offer a mate's rate on class A drugs, have never once taken a shot gun to me, and on one memorable occasion when I mentioned that their rabid untrained akitas tended to bark at me through the fence, they kindly kicked the fence in to solve the problem.
Nice neighbours you have there :disturbd:
I am getting ready to be shot down for this but I really do think that working class people are a lot friendlier
Not where I used to live in Hemel they weren't. I think it's to do with how permanent or transient the community is, rather than the social class of those that live in it. Hemel is a new town, so by its very nature there hasn't been long for community to develop. It also has a relatively high percentage of short-term residents.
Hemel is a new town, so by its very nature there hasn't been long for community to develop. It also has a relatively high percentage of short-term residents.
I think a community can also die out.. When we moved in there was an amazing community spirit in our street, but it died out as people moved out and were replaced by people who didn't seem interested in the community.
greencreeper
18-08-2005, 18:30
On one side there is an elderly lady who lives by herself. Husband passed away and 2 kids live in the south (spits to the side) :) It a large house to maintain by herself though...5 bedrooms
Nice inheritance for them - and you can bet they'll be weeping and wailing when she does pass on. Families :rolleyes:
The other side live an elderly women and her 50 something son who never married. She is in better health than him! He's very taciturn and shy and makes me feel a little uncomfortable when my kids are around, if I'm honest....
Classic dominant mother and doting gay son. Chip in the Sugar springs to mind.
I wonder if social class has anything to do with neighbourliness? Are middle class less friendly than working class? Maybe those are old fashioned expressions but what do you think?
Working class are thrown together, whereas middle class and above come to together.
<snip>
Classic dominant mother and doting gay son. Chip in the Sugar springs to mind.
One of my neighbours (who I play dominoes with) is 65 odd and looks after his 90 year old mother (he was married). So you have to know all the facts to make a judgement.
greencreeper
18-08-2005, 23:44
One of my neighbours (who I play dominoes with) is 65 odd and looks after his 90 year old mother (he was married). So you have to know all the facts to make a judgement.
I wasn't judging, and you can only ever think you know all the facts. No one actually does. A lot of us do marry. All part of denial. They never are straight, trust me :)
Tezcatlipoca
19-08-2005, 00:11
Nope, don't know them.
Nearly everyone will know the theme tune to the Australien show Neighbours.
One of the main lines is "Everybody needs good neighbours, thats when good neighbours become good friends".
Anyway, the question is, do YOU have good neighbours ? Do you even know they exist ? Do you speak to them or do you avoid them at all cost ?
I'm lucky in that on one side, I have some retired neighbours who are the kindest people in the world. When I go on holiday they look after the house, take in the mail, and even look after the garden.
The other side seem to like to keep themselves to themselves and although I'm thankful they dont make any noise, it does seem like sometimes they would rather watch your house burn down if it did, than step in and give a hand.
Whilst down at my Gran's house however, I have been in the middle of a massive argument withe the neighbours who are assuming we are on their land. Luckily, we have been to have the problem looked at officially and we are in the right. Its just so annoying that some neighbours will stop at nothing. These neighbours have really upset my gran who is now quite old and easily gets upset and worried.
There are then completely stupid neighbours. If I'm right in remembering, someone on these forums had a massive satellite dish pointing directly at them not long ago in full eye sight. Not very clever. BTW, did it ever get sorted ?
So, do you get on with your own neighbours ?
orangebird
14-09-2005, 11:32
Similar kind of thread here (http://www.cableforum.co.uk/board/showthread.php?t=33614&highlight=neighbours) ;)
Indeed. I've closed this and will merge it with the older thread, so we can see if anyone still wants to say anything on the subject.
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Merged and re-opened. :)
Since I last posted here my neighbour situation has improved greatly! An absolutely stunning blonde has moved in next door.
Suddenly the desire to get on with your neighbour seems spookily more important...
Heh heh for sure.
She had one of those manual lawnmowers for doing her lawn. Of course myself being a chivalrous gentleman just had to offer to cut it with mine. :p:
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