View Full Version : What is your hint, tip, or trick?
When I've mixed my wallpaper paste, I tie a string across the bucket, this acts as a rest for the brush, also the removal of excess paste. When I have been painting, and intend using the same brush within a short time, I wrap it in clingfilm, stops it from hardening up. What's your tip, pass it on, needn't be decorating?
zing_deleted
23-03-2007, 08:43
swinging chain means warm seat
Tightscot
23-03-2007, 08:59
never run with scissors
LemonyBrainAid
23-03-2007, 09:01
Don't sit down with pins in your pocket
Don't fart when you have severe Crohn's disease :)
Don't fart when you have severe Crohn's disease :)
swinging chain means warm seat
Don't eat yellow snow ;)
never run with scissors
Lol! you lot, maybe I should have posted under 'humour' instead!;)
Confusious say, man who go to bed with itchy bum wake up with smelly finger.
TheBlueRaja
23-03-2007, 09:49
Get out more...
Eat your vegetables.......
When selling your house, replace your furniture with children's tables and chairs, and use a dwarf estate agent. Instantly, your house will seem more roomy than it actually is.
pedantic
23-03-2007, 09:56
Never trust an electrician with no eyebrows. :disturbd:
Never trust a dog with orange eyebrows
Tightscot
23-03-2007, 10:52
Deter goldfish from having sex by throwing a small bucket of air over any that you catch in the act.
TheBlueRaja
23-03-2007, 10:58
When your done with the pet you got for Christmas, get a really watertight plastic bag, stick it in, and chuck it in the nearest river.
If its lucky somebody will spot it further down and rescue it, otherwise it will calmly die of asphyxiation. Far better than simply drowning it which is a very painful death.
When your done with the pet you got for Christmas, get a really watertight plastic bag, stick it in, and chuck it in the nearest river.
If its lucky somebody will spot it further down and rescue it, otherwise it will calmly die of asphyxiation. Far better than simply drowning it which is a very painful death.
Your sick, you need help.
:Yikes:
So another one would be, 'If you meet someone like above, avoid at all costs and call the appropriate authorities.'
If you are planning on being a regular here, pre-order your straight-jacket.
When your done with the pet you got for Christmas, get a really watertight plastic bag, stick it in, and chuck it in the nearest river.
If its lucky somebody will spot it further down and rescue it, otherwise it will calmly die of asphyxiation. Far better than simply drowning it which is a very painful death.
I just throw them in the bin, with the other left over food stuff :shrug:
Tightscot
23-03-2007, 13:19
Old contact lenses make ideal 'portholes' for small model boats.
TheBlueRaja
23-03-2007, 13:33
I just throw them in the bin, with the other left over food stuff :shrug:
I find that a bit noisy though, especially when you just want a bit of "quiet time". Far better to "fling and forget"... Just my opinion.
downquark1
23-03-2007, 13:36
Gossip/secrets are a commodity, don't give them away for free.
idi banashapan
23-03-2007, 13:57
if you see the bomb disposal unit running, follow them!!!
---------- Post added at 13:57 ---------- Previous post was at 13:53 ----------
A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
---------- Post added at 13:57 ---------- Previous post was at 13:57 ----------
Avoid arguments with the Mrs about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.
Avoid arguments with the Mrs about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.
Works for me, get her to use the bath too.
---------- Post added at 17:01 ---------- Previous post was at 17:00 ----------
Your sick, you need help.
Were you offering? :D
Never start a thread without some clear cut rules about what you want posted..and even then expect a few smartarses..;)
There are as many tips and tricks in this thread as there is hair on Russ' head.
There are as many tips and tricks in this thread as there is hair on Russ' head.
Actually I would say there are more than there are hairs on Russ's or Nugget's heads.;)
Don't play golf with a hangover.
If you do aim for the ball in the middle
Wicked_and_Crazy
23-03-2007, 17:54
When selling your house, replace your furniture with children's tables and chairs, and use a dwarf estate agent. Instantly, your house will seem more roomy than it actually is.
Funnily enough, furniture in show houses is usually minimal size for this reason
I take it all these hints and tips are based on personal experience only?
Never start a thread without some clear cut rules about what you want posted..and even then expect a few smartarses..;)
I have been pleasantly surprised and very amused by the responses to this thread, so many clever answers! It is not my place to impose any rules or restrictions on what replies, if any, the other members choose to make to any of my threads. I like and expect smartarse answers, who knows I may even make one myself, one day?;)
Cut the end off a tea bag and empty out the tea this makes an excellent after eight mint cosy.
live for today. spend now, pay back later. maybe. ;)
idi banashapan
24-03-2007, 23:28
live for today. spend now, pay back later. maybe. ;)
To follow on... If you die in debt, you've made a profit!!!
To follow on... If you die in debt, you've made a profit!!!
Lol!
Don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
A driver coming towards you in a narrow road with a car that looks like it has come straight from the crushers always has right of way.
Just the right amount of vodka in your goldfishes bowl makes it eye bugle.
Don't fart when you have severe Crohn's disease :)
too true :D
Don't fart when you have severe Crohn's disease :)
too true :D
And never when you are taking Xenical!:Yikes:
And never when you are taking Xenical!:Yikes:
I never knew what what was till I just looked it up, sounds just like Crohn's in a pill, I wouldn't mind some of those so I can show people just what Crohn's is like (albeit just for a day or two). ;)
Are you Crohnnies too Scrubbs/Tinky?
I am, since 2000, got it fixed last time with triple therapy
ooops off topic
Tezcatlipoca
25-03-2007, 18:54
Never trust someone whose surname can also be used as a first name.
never travel anywhere without tissues and cash
lostandconfused
25-03-2007, 20:12
never try = never fail
[quote=peanutkp;34259962] I wouldn't mind some of those so I can show people just what Crohn's is like (albeit just for a day or two). ;)
Are you mad? I have a few left over you could have. But what would you be showing people??????????:shocked: ... :Yikes:
A warm toilet seat is like a woman, it's nice , but you just can't help wondering who's been there before you !
Heard this one ages ago:
"Failing to plan is planning to fail"
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Procrastrination is the thief of time.
Never assume, as it makes an ass out of u and me.
Tightscot
26-03-2007, 20:08
for the Sky lovers... " sky is great, Virgin Media is awful" :)
for the VM lovers.... "Virgin media is great, Sky is awful" :)
[quote=peanutkp;34259962] I wouldn't mind some of those so I can show people just what Crohn's is like (albeit just for a day or two). ;)
Are you mad? I have a few left over you could have. But what would you be showing people??????????:shocked: ... :Yikes:
Yeah I'm a bit mad, can't deny that. :D
But I have do have severe Crohn's, and certain people think it's nothing or something that's 'not too bad', if I can get them to walk half a mile in my shoes then my life would be a lot easier. Does it taste of anything? Can I slip it into a coffee without them knowing? :disturbd: :p:
In your personal life, always give people a second chance- it's much better to regret what you have done what you haven't. However, never give someone a third chance- you'll end up being taken for a mug.
TheDaddy
27-03-2007, 00:39
Never send cash to Nigerians claiming to want to put vast sums of money in your bank account
[quote=Tinky;34260334]
Yeah I'm a bit mad, can't deny that. :D
But I have do have severe Crohn's, and certain people think it's nothing or something that's 'not too bad', if I can get them to walk half a mile in my shoes then my life would be a lot easier. Does it taste of anything? Can I slip it into a coffee without them knowing? :disturbd: :p:
If having Crohn's disease is anything like the side effects of taking Xenical, you have my sincere sympathy. It is not a good idea IMHO to (secretly) give unprescribed medicines to your mates, it could have serious consequences.
Also, before someone else points it out, procrastination was incorrectly spelt in my post no.51, but I put off looking it up lol!
TheBlueRaja
27-03-2007, 09:25
Never let your mouth write a check your butt can't cash
Never resort to murder unless you've got a really good solicitor :)
Never let your mouth write a check your butt can't cash
Never use Americanisms on a British forum :D
TheDaddy
27-03-2007, 10:26
Always buy people presents that you would like to receive yourself
Always buy people presents that you would like to receive yourself
Yeah so if they don't like it you can keep it:D:D
Never fight fire with fire.
My dad did this and I think that is why he was sacked from the fire brigade.
TheDaddy
27-03-2007, 12:33
Yeah so if they don't like it you can keep it:D:D
:tu: ;)
Always keep some headache tablets with you. Always useful.
Don't rely on the 'new' epg guide to give you up to date / correct information. In fact, don't rely on it at all. And if you've still got that channel guide that was sent out a few months ago - you might need it... (seeing as you can't now put channels in subscription order - grr!) stick it next to the tv!
idi banashapan
27-03-2007, 14:08
Create the effect of being abducted by aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously 'erased'.
---------- Post added at 13:08 ---------- Previous post was at 13:07 ----------
Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
TheDaddy
27-03-2007, 14:18
Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
Ah the Viz archives
1. Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to a local charity shop. They'll wash and iron them and you can buy them back for 50 cents.
2. Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin into a bowl of iron filings.
3. A hedgehog, trained to scuttle up and down the table from guest to guest, makes an unusual and cheap mobile appetizer dispenser at cocktail parties.
4. Foil pick-pockets by placing a freshly toasted "pop tart" in each pocket. Would-be thieves will quickly rupture the fragile pastry and receive nasty finger burns from the steaming hot jam inside.
5. A length of plastic drainpipe with a roller skate at each end makes an ideal home-made "car" for snakes.
6. Can’t afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of clingwrap and press them into your eyes.
7. Stop bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water.
8. Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
9. Avoid jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fully refreshed and on time.
10. Put a stop to car thieves by siphoning off all your gas whenever you park your car, and carrying it round with you in one or two plastic buckets.
11. Why pay for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen fries from the freezer and try piercing together potatoes.
12. Smell gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.
13. Always keep a stick of butter in your pocket so that if you get your head stuck in railings you'll be able to grease your ears and slide out.
14. Exterior wood stain is a cheap, long-lasting and attractive alternative to sun-bed treatments.
15. Office workers. Avoid distractions from your important paperwork by making "blinkers" out of two post-it note stickers, one stuck to each temple.
16. Save electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.
17. Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.
18. Old telephone directories make ideal, free personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.
19. When reading a book try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark.
20. Save on gas by pushing your car to your destination. Invariably passers-by will think you've broken down and help.
21. Avoid being wheel-clamped by jacking up your car, removing the wheels and locking them safely in the trunk until you return.
22. No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in duct tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.
23. Expensive hair gels are expensive. Jelly is a much cheaper alternative, but beware of bees in the summer.
24. Save on alochol by drinking cold tea instead of scotch. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a tablespoon of dish soap and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
25. International master criminals. It is possible to make your fortune. Simply tell your guards to shoot James Bond in the head at the first opportunity. Under no circumstances give him a guided tour of your base, or leave him in the custody of attractive women in bikinis.
idi banashapan
27-03-2007, 14:21
Quality - looks like a have a lot more to remember now!!! lol
If you're not feeling well, & think you might throw up, keep a bucket within reach - don't try kidding yourself that you'll make it to the bathroom in time. http://homepage.ntlworld.com/alien42/smilies/embarassed.gif
If you know you're going to throw up, drink loads of water.
When your stomach contracts, it will be pushing against nice soft water rather than any hard painful food, and will help flush your stomach out.
You'll also be entertained by the suprising force at which your stomach expells things.
Always brush your teeth afterwards.
If you know you're going to throw up, drink loads of water.
When your stomach contracts, it will be pushing against nice soft water rather than any hard painful food, and will help flush your stomach out.
You'll also be entertained by the suprising force at which your stomach expells things.
That was the problem though, I had drunk loads of water. I'd have rather had a sore stomach than it going 5 & a half feet & going everywhere. :(
That was the problem though, I had drunk loads of water. I'd have rather had a sore stomach than it going 5 & a half feet & going everywhere. :(
Vomit in the toilet or bucket then rather than in every direction.
If you're vomitting in the toilet, lay several sheets at the bottom of the bowl to prevent splashback.
I would have if I could have. That's why my tip mentioned keeping a bucket nearby. I felt sick, tried to fight the urge, thinking once it had eased off I could get to the bathroom in time, but then all of a sudden it just happened, & I had no control over it.
Never assume, as it makes an ass out of u and me.
Never use Cliches...
Never resort to murder unless you've got a really good solicitor :)
Never tell a Mod (or Admin) that they smell of biscuits.
lostandconfused
28-03-2007, 09:51
dont put off until tommorow, what you can put of altogether
crushednutts
28-03-2007, 09:58
Don't lend your mobile to your son to text his mate when he can't find his, for some reason a text costs about £15 for teanagers.
Oh and don't cross the road with your eyes closed.
Well kids you tried your hardest and you failed miserabley.
The lesson here is never try - Homer simpson
I would have if I could have. That's why my tip mentioned keeping a bucket nearby. I felt sick, tried to fight the urge, thinking once it had eased off I could get to the bathroom in time, but then all of a sudden it just happened, & I had no control over it.
Never hold it in when you feel like vomitting and have the oppertunity to do it safely, you never know when it might come back, normally when you're least expecting it, and most probably when there's no suitable container for it.
If you have broken ribs and need to cough, hug a large pillow.
Resist the urge to sneeze with broken ribs as well.
TheDaddy
28-03-2007, 10:15
Perfect opportunity to test out your carving knife/ jump lead technique Xaccers :)
Never tell a Mod (or Admin) that they smell of biscuits.
Never take advice from a mod / admin (particularly if they smell of biscuits) ;)
Perfect opportunity to test out your carving knife/ jump lead technique Xaccers :)
Good idea! :D
biscuits are evil... even one little biscuit can contain nearly 100 calories, have you any idea how long it takes to burn that off?!
biscuits are evil... even one little biscuit can contain nearly 100 calories, have you any idea how long it takes to burn that off?!
About a second if you use a Zippo :)
Never tell a Mod (or Admin) that they smell of biscuits.
I understand from the context that it would be considered offensive/insulting, what I'd like to know is why?
even one little biscuit can contain nearly 100 calories, have you any idea how long it takes to burn that off?!
About 25mins. :)
biscuits are evil... even one little biscuit can contain nearly 100 calories, have you any idea how long it takes to burn that off?!
One night of passion? (ok, 30 minutes of passion followed by a night of snoring)
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