View Full Version : Relationship Over: House Sale Help! (The Continuing Saga of Smicer's House)
smicer07
27-06-2005, 20:04
Well here goes! Last thread deleted due to the content, but now I've decided to sell the house, this is the new Smicer's relationship over thread, for those of you not bored to tears by my current situation.. A big thanks to everyone who has helped so far, I appreciate your help so so much.
Currently, my solicitor has sent hers a letter saying I want to sell up and gain entry to my house. :)
Tezcatlipoca
27-06-2005, 20:08
Good luck with it, Si.
I just hope this thread doesn't end up another 118 page, 1766 posts, monstrosity :disturbd:
smicer07
27-06-2005, 20:09
Me too.
etccarmageddon
27-06-2005, 20:13
deleted due to the 'content' - it was a classic!
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As always I wish you well.
All we can say at the moment is that you need to look very hard at all the information and numbers before you make a final decision. Make sure you check market conditions in your area, get a spread of valuations, choose a reputable (as if you'll find one) estate agent, stand by your decisions and for pitys sake DO NOT back down this time.
What you need to do above all else though is listen to all advice given to you ...... even if it's not what you wanted to hear. You have to weigh up all pros and cons in this situation and you have to be prepared for things to get harder before the end.
dilli-theclaw
27-06-2005, 20:14
I guess there's not much you can do 'till you find out what's happening from the solicitor.
fireman328
27-06-2005, 20:15
Good luck with it, Si.
I just hope this thread doesn't end up another 118 page, 1766 posts, monstrosity :disturbd:
If this thread were committed to paper, Canada would be a dust bowl due to the lack of trees to stabilise the soil.
JohnHorb
27-06-2005, 20:17
Deleting it should hould put back the need to upgrade the server disk space for a year or so, though.:)
smicer07
27-06-2005, 20:21
Deleting it should hould put back the need to upgrade the server disk space for a year or so, though.:)
:D
It was a good thread though. :D :D :D
Check your local property rag for comparable properties to get an idea of prices :)
MovedGoalPosts
27-06-2005, 20:52
www.nethouseprices.com ;)
MadGamer
27-06-2005, 20:55
As i said in Raistlins thread, i wish you all the best. I didnt contribute to the other thread as i found it difficult to say what i wanted to, but i have read through it and i have to say you've had a real rough time recently.
EDIT: :woot: over 4000 posts. YAY! :D ps, gotta love that woot smiley.
Check property prices (and loadsa other things) here:
http://www.upmystreet.com/
aliferste
27-06-2005, 21:28
It was deleted?
Si, just make sure you kick her the f out, do the house doctor treatment on your house and get top dollar!!!
Please?
Fingers crossed for ya m8
It was deleted?
Well, Simon wouldn't want certain people getting their hands on all the advice he's been getting, would he? ;)
smicer07
27-06-2005, 21:51
The closest house I can find to mine went for 85,000 in April of this year. Not sure what it is like inside, but our road is a bit more popular than that.
Tips on selling. Look round for sold board outside properties similar to yours (make a note of the agents, look them up on the web & see what the asking price was). Contact at least 3 agents (including those who have sold similar properties) to do a valuation. Bear in mind you will not get your asking price and watch out for commission charges (the one who suggests the highest value may also ask for the most commission as the sale will take some time due to overpricing). To get the best price for your property make sure the front of the house is looks well kept and clean and tidy and if possible move the dog out for viewings. Offers will go down depending on what needs to be done, a need to replace the kitchen will lose the most etc etc.
Good luck and https://www.cableforum.co.uk/images/local/2012/01/10.gif
smicer07
27-06-2005, 21:57
Also one round the corner (has a new bathroom though) up for 107,995
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And one even closer, literally a few yards away up for 95,000 and that's only part double glazed whereas mine is full. Swings and roundabouts i guess.
Chimaera
27-06-2005, 21:58
Any contact from the ex yet Smicer - or is this the calm before the storm?
smicer07
27-06-2005, 22:00
Nah nothing apart from her briefly coming online and me ignoring it.
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Yes, it is the calm before the solicitors phone call!
What did you originally pay for it, and when?
smicer07
27-06-2005, 22:02
We paid 87,500 in August of last year.
We paid 87,500 in August of last year.
Please make sure you note post #16....
smicer07
27-06-2005, 22:14
Noted ;)
smicer07
28-06-2005, 08:30
Hi again,
Does anyone know how long it'll be before I have access to my house again? Are we talking weeks or what? Cheers.
etccarmageddon
28-06-2005, 08:36
you can get in there today as you're on the mortgage.
smicer07
28-06-2005, 08:40
By breaking in you mean? Or do I just get a locksmith?
__________________
I just don't want to add to her little "harassment" story.
etccarmageddon
28-06-2005, 08:44
you wait for her to come home from work then grab the keys. if you cant do that then refuse to let her gain access. that's what I'd do. as long as you dont assault her I cant see you getting into bother. I would have probably bolted up the house by now anyway as per other people's previous suggestions.
you're in a terrible situation - you have been conned out of your keys and you were ready to sign the house over but then found out that she had slept with another man.
smicer07
28-06-2005, 08:52
Well whether she's slept with him or just kissed him I don't know but it's not important now anyway. I just don't want to risk making it worse for myself if she starts the whole "harassment" thing if I turn up on my doorstep.
Well whether she's slept with him or just kissed him I don't know but it's not important now anyway. I just don't want to risk making it worse for myself if she starts the whole "harassment" thing if I turn up on my doorstep.
If she starts the 'harassment thing'. just point out that everything is in the hands of the solicitors - if she wants to make a complaint, make she that she does it through her solicitor (if nothing else, that'll cost her some more money!).
Anyway, as has been said before, she can't stop you from entering that house - if anything, the fact that your mum is the guarantor of the mortgage, you've (technically, I know) got more right to be there than she has.
Hope it all works out right for you :tu:
SMHarman
28-06-2005, 09:30
Has nobody else said that if you kick the bitch out then she may well stop contributing to the mortgage, can you and your mum pay the mortgage by yourselves while it is on the market?
Keep detailed records of all the costs you put in straightening the place up for sale, I imagine once the dog is removed a carpet cleaning guy will need to do the place from top to bottom.
As said before IMHO this is the wrong course of action. Give her the liability and move on. You are prolonging the agony and closure in this relationship, but hey you've got your solicitor to write the letter, made your bed etc.
etccarmageddon
28-06-2005, 11:16
I think you're all wasting your time here. This is going round in circles.
Everytime advice is offered it isn't followed and I think this is becoming too deliberate. It's too much like it's a **** take.
Remember all the advice given when he said he was handing the keys to his ex's brother and how I and others told him the locks would end up being changed and he'd be out on his arse etc.
Remember how we told him she had probably involved herself with another man. Remember how we told him to put it on the market.
Just as soon as he's completed one path he's off in another direction just to keep this yarn going. We were promised the transfer to his ex imminently then lo and behold he 'finds out' she's kissed another man and now he's off putting it on the market and taking legal steps to gain entry blah blah blah. And Simon has almost changed to a different person.
And excellent soap opera but dont put too much effort in to offer advice.
It's like the matrix, soon Simon will reach the thread architect, have a chat and then be offered 2 doors.
If he enters the first door he will be freed from his ordeal but this thread will die or if he takes the other door the thread will be deleted and restarted, he will be allowed to choose a number of forum members to help rebuild his advice thread and his thread gets to live but we end up stuck in it.
It's like the matrix, soon Simon will reach the thread architect, have a chat and then be offered 2 doors.
If he enters the first door he will be freed from his ordeal but this thread will die or if he takes the other door the thread will be deleted and restarted, he will be allowed to choose a number of forum members to help rebuild his advice thread and his thread gets to live but we end up stuck in it.
This is all a bit profound for a Tuesday morning! :spin:
This is all a bit profound for a Tuesday morning! :spin:
Ah, but you see, there is no Tuesday
wibble
Scarlett
28-06-2005, 12:32
Has nobody else said that if you kick the bitch out then she may well stop contributing to the mortgage, can you and your mum pay the mortgage by yourselves while it is on the market?
Keep detailed records of all the costs you put in straightening the place up for sale, I imagine once the dog is removed a carpet cleaning guy will need to do the place from top to bottom.
As said before IMHO this is the wrong course of action. Give her the liability and move on. You are prolonging the agony and closure in this relationship, but hey you've got your solicitor to write the letter, made your bed etc.
Compleately agree. Selling is an absolute nightmare (am doing at the moment). If you have a quick and easy solution then take it. I've (and the wife) just spent the best part of a week doing nothing in our spare time except cleaning up our house to put it on the market. We've taken God knows how much stuff out to storage to make it look better for prospective buyers. (This was on the advice of the estate agents because they pointed out that the market has far more supply than demand at the moment. To get a quick sale you need to have a house that stands out a bit from the crowd.) You will also need to price the house sensibly* and this may well be below what you paid for it just to get viewings.
How are you going to manage organising viewings when you don't even have a key and the person who does wants to keep the house herself ? Selling is going to cost you ~£2.5k + VAT in estate agent fees along so do you think that you going to make £3k more than you curently owe on the mortgage ? from what you've said the answer is that you will be lucky to even make enough to cover the amount you owe the bank let along the moving costs... Also is all the electric etc. up to spec ? The law has changed recently and more and more its the job of the seller to make sure that this is done otherwise people will either not offer or make a much lower offer for the inconvience of having to 'put right'.
So she's possibly flirted a bit with another bloke, so what! its not Nice I admit but that sort of thing happens. Hell, even if she has slept with him, is it REALLY worth you being petty about it and trying to sell the house ?
Look at this way sell to her and walk away with £1000 and the whole mess sorted in a few weeks.
Try to sell the house on the open market and end up leaving you and your mum owing the mortgage company £ÃÆ ’‚£Ãà¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚£ and also drag this whole thing out for Months and Months...(Yes it will take that long!)
Is the option of revenge over what she may/may not have done with a bloke you don't know at some point in the last 6 months (quite possibly after you split up in any case) really worth that ?
There's only one last thing I'm going to add and that is if you don't like the game, stop playing. It is much easier to stop playing by taking the first option.
Scarlett
*this may well be at least £5k below what the estate agents claim you could get, our neighbours were told to put their house on the market for 122K ours is on at £116,99 5 as most houses like ours ar going at around 115k/116k.
smicer07
28-06-2005, 14:08
I just want to get into my own ****ing house :(
SMHarman
28-06-2005, 14:09
Why?
smicer07
28-06-2005, 14:10
Because I am paying for half of the mortgage and have a right to be able to be there.
Because I am paying for half of the mortgage and have a right to be able to be there.
And what have you done towards that aim so far? Have you obtained the papers for a court order, or bought that lump hammer?
If you are set on trying to sell the house I'm happy to offer advice based on my recent house-move experiences, but I still think your best option, given the work that has already been done, is to sign the TR1 and have done with it. If you really want to 'get back' at your ex, the simplest way to do that would simply have been to break in to your house and remove half of the goods, informing her (i.e. not asking, discussing or pleading with her) that you are entitled to, and are going to take, your fair share of the house contents, ON TOP OF the £1,000 which is your fair and reasonable compensation for loss of equity in signing the house over to her.
You have been far too soft with her from day one, probably because, until you finally saw the light this weekend, you still harboured some feelings for her. I'm glad you're now free of that, but please don't simply replace the rose-tint with the red mist. You must start thinking clearly. Despite the letter you have instructed your solicitor to write you can still do the £1,000 deal. Your ex is bound to whinge about selling the house and you have an opportunity to tell her that you will reconsider, IF she stops pratting about. Your terms will be immediate re-entry to the house and 50% of the shared contents, on top of your £1,000.
Stand in front of a mirror and practice telling her this.
etccarmageddon
28-06-2005, 14:30
Because I am paying for half of the mortgage and have a right to be able to be there.you weren't bothered a few days ago. what's changed? She kissed another man and now you're putting yourself and everyone here through all this! Choose the other door - it's not too late to reboot the thread!
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Because I am paying for half of the mortgage and have a right to be able to be there.I thought you'd told us you'd agreed with her that she'd pay it all if you handed over they keys and let her brother stay?
Scarlett
28-06-2005, 15:29
I just want to get into my own ****ing house :(
You are not going to get you own house until you have removed yourself from any responsibility for this one. As many, myself included, have said there is a quick and cheap* way or a slow and expensive one...
Your Choice.
Scarlett,
*Cheap as in you come out with money in you pocket.
smicer07
28-06-2005, 15:35
I didnt hand over my keys, I still have my key to the original lock, but she changed the locks.
I didnt hand over my keys, I still have my key to the original lock, but she changed the locks.
OK, so what are you doing about getting past those new locks?
paulyoung666
28-06-2005, 15:40
sledgehammer :shrug:
etccarmageddon
28-06-2005, 15:49
sledgehammer :shrug:get hold of Peter Gabriel. Last time I saw him on the telly he had the looks of the architect and therefore I conclude will be able to open the door.
or break a window and get in there.
It maybe too late, but just seen a BBC article (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4626269.stm) pointing to the following advice site for 'couples living together' - http://www.advicenow.org.uk/go/livingtogether/index
It discusses your property rights, among other things.
smicer07
29-06-2005, 16:35
She's online now, reckon I should tell her or wait til she gets solicitor's letter?
SMHarman
29-06-2005, 16:39
No I recon you should sign the TR1, force entry and take the TV, DVD and Video and take the £1000 in your solicitors account.
smicer07
29-06-2005, 16:40
Well I've told my solicitor I want access to the house and for it to be put up for sale now.
SMHarman
29-06-2005, 16:43
And you told him you were going to sign it over a week ago, change your mind, whats the worst he can do, call you flip flop Simon and charge an extra £50 + disbursments for the letter writing.
smicer07
29-06-2005, 16:47
But I don't want to sign the TR1 unless I'm satisfied. Why should I have to force entry to my own house and risk police involvement?
Chimaera
29-06-2005, 16:52
She's online now, reckon I should tell her or wait til she gets solicitor's letter?
Don't contact her in any way, shape or form, just let her get the solicitor's letter....... :batty: :D
But I don't want to sign the TR1 unless I'm satisfied. Why should I have to force entry to my own house and risk police involvement?
..because its unlikely you'll get entry otherwise.
Chimaera
29-06-2005, 16:53
But I don't want to sign the TR1 unless I'm satisfied. Why should I have to force entry to my own house and risk police involvement?
Don't sign it unless you are satisfied! And how will the police get involved - if your ex calls them, you are only trying to gain access to your house, they will see it as a domestic and not bother. It's your call!
smicer07
29-06-2005, 16:56
Well I wasn't satisfied with just 1000, with no possessions (which is what she wanted and wouldnt agree to giving me money for possessions), and that's what i told my solicitor.
She's online now, reckon I should tell her or wait til she gets solicitor's letter?
Make her wait for the solicitor's letter. She'll phone you fast enough. At that point, you explain that your terms are fair recompense for posessions, ON TOP OF the £1,000 which is for the house.
Then tell her if she doesn't agree, you will sell the place.
Then hang up and instruct an estate agent. She'll brick it if you can get a sign outside the house while she's at work.
Are there any houses for sale in your area that you can "borrow" a sign from? :naughty: I bet she calls you in a hurry if she were to come home from work to find a board up ;)
smicer07
29-06-2005, 17:06
Make her wait for the solicitor's letter. She'll phone you fast enough. At that point, you explain that your terms are fair recompense for posessions, ON TOP OF the £1,000 which is for the house.
Then tell her if she doesn't agree, you will sell the place.
Then hang up and instruct an estate agent. She'll brick it if you can get a sign outside the house while she's at work.
Sounds like a sensible idea to be honest. Especially since her mortgage offer expires soon. Will my solicitor still have the transfer form ready to sign if she agrees? He's sent her solicitor a letter already.
etccarmageddon
29-06-2005, 17:15
She's online now, reckon I should tell her or wait til she gets solicitor's letter?you keep out of it and leave it to your representative.
__________________
whenever you speak to each other you both make things more complicated than necessary.
Chimaera
29-06-2005, 17:17
She's online now, reckon I should tell her or wait til she gets solicitor's letter?you keep out of it and leave it to your representative.
__________________
whenever you speak to each other you both make things more complicated than necessary.
:tu:
All communication should be through your solicitor now - there's less chance of any misunderstandings that way. She will be unable to mislead the solicitor, they will be immune to her tantrums and knife throwing!
Sounds like a sensible idea to be honest. Especially since her mortgage offer expires soon. Will my solicitor still have the transfer form ready to sign if she agrees? He's sent her solicitor a letter already.
Yep, it's almost certainly in your file in his office. I'm glad you're thinking about this a little more rationally - getting £1,000 plus recompense for posessions from her will save you so much heartache. Selling a house is stress at the best of times, without everything else that is going on in your situation. But if she thinks you are serious, she may become more reasonable. Remember, it was when you put your foot down that she realised she had to offer you the £1k for the house.
smicer07
30-06-2005, 18:15
She's still not received the letter from my solicitor so am waiting on that at the moment to see her reaction. She says she won't let me in though.
She's still not received the letter from my solicitor so am waiting on that at the moment to see her reaction. She says she won't let me in though.
She'll either continue to deny receipt of the letter (if she has received it already) or all hell will break loose when she gets it (if she hasn't).
She cannot deny you access to your own property though so it's up to her if she wants to end up in court. Somehow I think she will be busy on the phone to her mortgage company when she finds out what is going to happen, she'll have to arrange another mortgage agreement for starters.
etccarmageddon
30-06-2005, 18:32
I assume the solicitor sent it by signed for delivery.
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...She says she won't let me in though.that wouldnt stop me. you're letting yourself down with all this farting about. kick ass!
smicer07
30-06-2005, 18:59
She just called again saying she's not willing to give me anything other than the 1000 pounds, starts all this emotional stuff "this is the last time im ever going to speak to you again" blah blah. Told her I'm not signing unless she pays 1000, half possessions and my legal fees.
Chimaera
30-06-2005, 19:07
She just called again saying she's not willing to give me anything other than the 1000 pounds, starts all this emotional stuff "this is the last time im ever going to speak to you again" blah blah. Told her I'm not signing unless she pays 1000, half possessions and my legal fees.
Just don't speak to her full stop!! Don't answer her calls or texts, that's what your solicitor is for. Don't ask her for any money, posessions etc - she can't upset you any more if you have nothing to do with her. Has that 'for sale' sign gone up yet - and if not, why not?
Is she aware that you are going to court for access to your house, and that it will cost her money?
smicer07
30-06-2005, 19:08
She reckons I'd only have to pay if it went to court, not her.
Chimaera
30-06-2005, 19:11
She reckons I'd only have to pay if it went to court, not her.
She reckons? She knows jack, mate!
Hmmm - when my solicitor threatened to take my ex back to court, he was told that he would have to pay court costs etc. as what he was doing was in the wrong (as your ex is). That was over maintenance though - I don't know if it would apply in this case? I thought that costs would be awarded against the guilty party - perhaps ask your solicitor? Has he put in the letter about you being allowed back into the house?
smicer07
30-06-2005, 19:12
Yeah he has, not sure exactly what he's put, but basically that I want access or we'll go to court.
Chimaera
30-06-2005, 19:14
Yeah he has, not sure exactly what he's put, but basically that I want access or we'll go to court.
Good - sit tight and wait for the explosive, abusive text/phone call that you WILL get as soon as she receives it. Just ignore her and delete the text or put the phone down - she's let it get too far out of hand now.
And is the board up outside the house yet? If not get one up tomorrow while she's at work!
Raistlin
30-06-2005, 19:17
She just called again saying she's not willing to give me anything other than the 1000 pounds, starts all this emotional stuff "this is the last time im ever going to speak to you again" blah blah. Told her I'm not signing unless she pays 1000, half possessions and my legal fees.
Don't tell her anything.....don't talk to her.....don't have a conversation with her.....don't let words come out of your mouth when you are on the phone to her unless you are saying "I've already told you, all further communication must go through my solicitor".....
You've heard the saying "anything you say can, and will, be used against you in a court of law"? Well, this applies here. Just tell her to go through your solicitor and LEAVE IT AT THAT!!
timewarrior2001
30-06-2005, 19:23
Courts will decide who pays if you ask them.
She is not breaking the law by changing the locks.
As soooooooo many people have pointed out, you own the house. Well so does she, and at the minute she has the upper hand because she changed the locks.
The ONLY way this will be resolved is by a court order.
The court cannot order you to sell, they could order that she lives there until sold though.
Refusing to sign is only going to cost her more, and th emore she has to pay the more she's gonna get ****ed. After 3 mortgage offers there wont be many companies that will entertain her. We struggled ot get a second after a solicitor did not act in time and complete.
A TR1 form cannot be signed untiol a mortgage offer is in the hands of your solicitor and confirmed by the company.
But to get around it she can ask them to extend the offer to another probably 3 months.
Try getting your mother to contact the mortgage company saying that as you cant live there she withdraws her guarantor status. It probably wont do much who knows???
Why not put the house up for sale on ebay for £2000 as owner of the property I wouldnt think that broke T&C.
Then moce away and dont leave a forwarding address.
Oopsss she will be responsible for 100% of the mortgage on a house thats not hers. (if only this was possible, shame but its nice plotting revenge)
Smicer you do not have much to bargain with, I suggest asking your solicitor to put the house up for sale, explain you want 50% of the value of the house. that you dont care what you get at the end of it (after mortgage paid) you want settlement for 50% and until she agrees every 21 days the asking price for you to sign will increase by a further £1000.
If the fiasco continues for more than 6 months you will settle for nothing less than £45,000 .
Hmmmmmm sudden thought, can you not transfer your half of the house to your mother?
Or can you legally charge your ex bitch rent, as you cannot live there and she can?
Think dirty, fight dirty, win
ian@huth
01-07-2005, 14:18
One question springs to mind.
Are you still paying your share of the mortgage and other bills?
You have to be realistic with this at the end of the day.
If you are still contributing you could end up paying more than you will get back if this carries on for too long.
If you are not contributing then what happens if she finds out that she cannot really afford to go ahead with the purchase and decides to stop contributing herself. Where would that leave you and, in particular, your mother?
You have to be sure that there is positive equity in the property before making any decision on what you want and how you are going to proceed.
You keep saying she's called you, etc.
Why not get a new SIM or set the phone to reject her number? At this stage there should be nothing said verbally - it should all be via solictors (evidence if it goes to court).
I keep getting all excited every time this thread reappears in my subscriptions list. But every time, I get deflated as there is continually no news .... :banghead:
etccarmageddon
01-07-2005, 15:15
good luck Simon.
smicer07
03-07-2005, 02:47
Not relevant to the topic but I just pulled a nice girl :)
Not relevant to the topic but I just pulled a nice girl :)
Don't forget to arrange a couple of cosy nights in with her once you get access to the house ;) Could always ask your ex if she could go out for the evening :naughty: I take it she is still refusing to acknowledge receipt of the letter?
smicer07
03-07-2005, 14:22
Well I just went round- the ex didn't want to talk to me, so I spoke to her parents who are SUCH LOVELY PEOPLE. I basically explained to them the situation and the fact I'd found out their daughter was cheating on me- she hasn't told them yet either- so I just said I hope she can be honest to them finally... they said she's prepared to take me to court, but wants the house obviously.
Oh and sorry for posting about that girl, was a bit worse for wear!
Chimaera
03-07-2005, 14:41
Well I just went round- the ex didn't want to talk to me, so I spoke to her parents who are SUCH LOVELY PEOPLE. I basically explained to them the situation and the fact I'd found out their daughter was cheating on me- she hasn't told them yet either- so I just said I hope she can be honest to them finally... they said she's prepared to take me to court, but wants the house obviously.
Oh and sorry for posting about that girl, was a bit worse for wear!
They might have said that she's prepared to take you to court - but when it comes down to it, I doubt that she would! It would cost more that she can afford for a start - and I think that you would be taking her to court for access to your property, not the other way round? Did they say if she's received that solicitor's letter yet? And she might want the house - but whether she can afford it after all this is another matter entirely!
Don't worry about your drunken post - it's nice to see you get out and about again! :D
PS How did her parents take the news about their daughter not being the wronged little angel she has obviously told them she is? ;)
smicer07
03-07-2005, 14:43
They might have said that she's prepared to take you to court - but when it comes down to it, I doubt that she would! It would cost more that she can afford for a start - and I think that you would be taking her to court for access to your property, not the other way round? Did they say if she's received that solicitor's letter yet? And she might want the house - but whether she can afford it after all this is another matter entirely!
Don't worry about your drunken post - it's nice to see you get out and about again! :D
Yeah, i'd be taking her to court. I don't know if she's received the letter yet, as she won't talk to me- but I don't think she has... had a good night!
ian@huth
03-07-2005, 14:47
They might have said that she's prepared to take you to court - but when it comes down to it, I doubt that she would! It would cost more that she can afford for a start - and I think that you would be taking her to court for access to your property, not the other way round? Did they say if she's received that solicitor's letter yet? And she might want the house - but whether she can afford it after all this is another matter entirely!
Don't worry about your drunken post - it's nice to see you get out and about again! :D
Yeah, i'd be taking her to court. I don't know if she's received the letter yet, as she won't talk to me- but I don't think she has... had a good night!If you take her to court how long is this going to extend the saga and who will be paying the mortgage and household bills in the meantime?
smicer07
03-07-2005, 15:36
She will pay bills, I will pay half mortgage until it's all sorted out.
She will pay bills, I will pay half mortgage until it's all sorted out.
Hope you have that agreement in writing or you may find she tries to shaft you again.
Florence
03-07-2005, 21:34
as she has him locked out she can't say he has used any of the services.
ian@huth
03-07-2005, 23:49
She will pay bills, I will pay half mortgage until it's all sorted out.Still paying half, can't get into the property and only end up with the £1k. She could be on to a good thing if it drags on for a few more months.
Florence
03-07-2005, 23:53
not sure here if he stops he is technically giving up on the house then.
If he isn't paying he needs it in another account so its there if needed
SMHarman
04-07-2005, 00:26
Still paying half, can't get into the property and only end up with the £1k. She could be on to a good thing if it drags on for a few more months.so 1/2 of an 85k mortgage is 42.5k at say 5% = 2125 a year / 12 = 180 a month?
Is this interest only (above) or capital repayment.
See why you should sign. If this lasts 5 months you've wasted £1k in interest
How on earth has she got you paying half the mortgage on a house she is simultaneously refusing to let you into? She is making you look like a complete idiot Simon. :banghead:
I may be wrong but after reading the last thread and this I think he doesn't really want to really let go and while all this is going on he still has some sort of tie with her :(
How on earth has she got you paying half the mortgage on a house she is simultaneously refusing to let you into? She is making you look like a complete idiot Simon. :banghead:
Think it's something to do with the fact that his mum is still tied to this mortgage so he doesn't want it going into arrears.
Think it's something to do with the fact that his mum is still tied to this mortgage so he doesn't want it going into arrears.
Think it's something to do with the fact that he hasn't got the balls to stand up for himself and forcibly re-enter his own house while his ex is out. The longer he stays out, the less favourably a judge will look on him, if he insists on going all the way to court with it.
Me, I would have been back in that house within 24 hours. The very first time she left the place unoccupied I'd have been in there and had the locks changed again. Then she would have needed a court order to get me out. But it is abundantly clear by now that Simon is not prepared to do anything to look after his basic interests other than to just talk about them.
Hey I'm with you on the timescale, he should have gotten back into that house and not left it at all. As soon as he said he was moving back to his Dads I knew the locks were changing :(
I think the trouble with this whole situation is that Smicer took a long time to realise what he was being told on the threads. If he had been more receptive and worldly-wise he would have seen what was being said to him and perhaps would have reacted a bit differently.
grandmaster
04-07-2005, 09:50
So what exactly is the hold up now then?
Has she got this letter or not?
Did the solicitor send it recorded?
So what exactly is the hold up now then?
She is the hold up currently.
Has she got this letter or not?
We don't know at the moment, she seems to be claiming no knowledge of it.
Did the solicitor send it recorded?
We think so, if he did then she has no way of lying about not receiving it.
Raistlin
04-07-2005, 09:58
So.....the old thread was closed.....
This thread was supposed to be about helping him to sell his house.....
He's still mucking about.....
We're still discussing the same issues in this thread that we were in the last.....
Stop the bus, I wanna get off :(
etccarmageddon
04-07-2005, 11:00
...I think the trouble with this whole situation is that Smicer took a long time to realise what he was being told on the threads...I disagree. I think Simon is just interesting in asking for advice and then ignoring it and doing his own thing. When the advice given matches what he plans to do, it gives him a safety net - ie. someone else to take responsibility if it fails. When the advice isn't matching what he intends to do, he waits for someone to come up with advice that does!
Florence
06-07-2005, 08:35
Come on guys lets remeber Smicer is and has been under a lot of pressure through all this and continued to teach at a high school. The pressure from her physical and mental torture ( and yes he does still love this monster of a women) and the stress of todays teenagers. He has managed well with our support and perhaps he hasn't taken all the advice onboard but he has taken a lot. At the time of moving to his dads he was in a position where he was about to break and he wasn't at his best mentally to cope with a some like her. She will be in a position soon where she will have no mortgage as it will be out of time and he will get back in. Or she will be forced to sell on the open market the more she reapplys for the mortgage the harder it will get. More so if she has to admit she couldn't finalise the last one as she wouldn't allow the other partner half the goods bought between them or recompense him for the loss of those goods.
Smicer needs support more than anything he does relise he made an error in his judgment and he is paying the price but he doesnt need us all starting on him for that error.
I may be wrong but after reading the last thread and this I think he doesn't really want to really let go and while all this is going on he still has some sort of tie with her :(
Spot on. :tu:
__________________
Think it's something to do with the fact that he hasn't got the balls to stand up for himself and forcibly re-enter his own house while his ex is out. The longer he stays out, the less favourably a judge will look on him, if he insists on going all the way to court with it.
Me, I would have been back in that house within 24 hours. The very first time she left the place unoccupied I'd have been in there and had the locks changed again. Then she would have needed a court order to get me out. But it is abundantly clear by now that Simon is not prepared to do anything to look after his basic interests other than to just talk about them.
Again spot on. :tu:
__________________
So.....the old thread was closed.....
This thread was supposed to be about helping him to sell his house.....
He's still mucking about.....
We're still discussing the same issues in this thread that we were in the last.....
Stop the bus, I wanna get off :(
I'm with you on the same bus. :rolleyes:
__________________
I disagree. I think Simon is just interesting in asking for advice and then ignoring it and doing his own thing. When the advice given matches what he plans to do, it gives him a safety net - ie. someone else to take responsibility if it fails. When the advice isn't matching what he intends to do, he waits for someone to come up with advice that does!
A rare occasion where you and I totally agree. :tu:
________________________
I've given up with any advice.It's pointless as I believe the whole business is now more about attention seeking than anything else... :(
timewarrior2001
06-07-2005, 10:36
Think it's something to do with the fact that he hasn't got the balls to stand up for himself and forcibly re-enter his own house while his ex is out. The longer he stays out, the less favourably a judge will look on him, if he insists on going all the way to court with it.
Me, I would have been back in that house within 24 hours. The very first time she left the place unoccupied I'd have been in there and had the locks changed again. Then she would have needed a court order to get me out. But it is abundantly clear by now that Simon is not prepared to do anything to look after his basic interests other than to just talk about them.
The point is, although it may not be entirely illegal to break and enter a house you own, I am sure that the jumped up little hussy could make complaints against him in court if necessary and the fact he broke into this own home would not look good to the court. Yes the police may not press charges against him for Breaking in, but they could do any number of other things.
Remember the cowbag hasnt broken th elaw by changing the locks, she is legally allowed to feel secure in her home, and it is still her home too. PLus the fact that she has already told the police (allegedly) that she is scared of him, the only thing Simon will gain from breaking in is a criminal record.
allieyoung666
06-07-2005, 10:39
Have you got a spare ticket for this bus?? As I would like to get on to!!!! You know what I should say Smicer stop peeing about and get a grip of the situation b4 it gets a grip of you!
I don't understand how he can possibly get a criminal record by breaking in to his own house while it is empty. I don't understand how the ex can cause him any serious problems by alleging to the boys in blue that she is 'scared of' him without any evidence of a crime being committed. What exactly are they going to do? What can they do?
timewarrior2001
06-07-2005, 11:12
I don't understand how he can possibly get a criminal record by breaking in to his own house while it is empty. I don't understand how the ex can cause him any serious problems by alleging to the boys in blue that she is 'scared of' him without any evidence of a crime being committed. What exactly are they going to do? What can they do?
OK the house is jointly owned.
She changed the locks (which she is perfectly entitled to do)
She has made it obvious she does not want him there and has spoken to the police saying she is scared he will do somehting.
He then breaks into the house that she has in effect put him out of.
The police will do one of two things, ignore it and risk her creating a scene, or arrest him for criminal damage, breach of the peace, threatening behaviour (forcing your way into someone elses home is threatening). Plus if the whole case goes to court and he has had the police either arrest him or move him on it WILL harm his case.
Breaking into his own home is the worst advice anyone could give him right now. Especially if he is thinking of seeking a court order.
Yes morally he would be in the right, but the laws of the land are not based on morals, 9/10ths of the law is possesion, she has possesion of the house and the keys. She has made it clear she does not want him there, in effect she has turfed him out. She is not legally in the wrong only morally.
She has taken steps to resolve this and remove him for the mortgage, she is doing everything right, if he breaks into his house which WILL result in a police presence, he can kiss any decent settlement in court goodbye. I've said all along he has to be able to show he has been more than reasonable, the courts should then see her for the bitch she is. Breaking into your own home is not viewed as reasonable behaviour.
etccarmageddon
06-07-2005, 11:17
the picture I'm getting here is of that Makosi girl from the big brother house, evil.
smicer07
06-07-2005, 13:19
I've asked her to get 3 written valuations. She telling me now that they will cost 200 pounds for all 3? I thought they were free?
Depends on what sort of valuation she gets. If she gets estate agents in, they are free. If she uses a surveyor, they will be approx. £150 each.
I've asked her to get 3 written valuations. She telling me now that they will cost 200 pounds for all 3? I thought they were free?
How much did it cost you when we told you to do it? Tell her to get the valuations or your settlement demands will get worse and she will never get the house. I take it she got the letter lol
Raistlin
06-07-2005, 13:25
I've asked her to get 3 written valuations. She telling me now that they will cost 200 pounds for all 3? I thought they were free?
Tell her to make sure she knows where her chequebook is then.....
smicer07
06-07-2005, 13:27
Yes she got the letter. She says the estate agents are charging her for the valuations! But the one I got a while ago, was free..
Yes she got the letter. She says the estate agents are charging her for the valuations! But the one I got a while ago, was free..
Shame she messed you about then isn't it ;) Hang on..... nope, thought my heart was bleeding there but was mistaken :D
Raistlin
06-07-2005, 13:38
Yes she got the letter. She says the estate agents are charging her for the valuations! But the one I got a while ago, was free..
I'm sure I can hear a violin playing somewhere.....nope, my mistake, just a cat calling.....carry on.
ian@huth
06-07-2005, 13:41
Yes she got the letter. She says the estate agents are charging her for the valuations! But the one I got a while ago, was free..Ask her what times she will be available to show the valuers around and then tell her that you will organise the visits and will be present when they are made. If you aren't present you don't know what she will tell the valuers in order to get a lower valuation.
Surely there are more Estate Agents in the area.
Unless she has told them the valuation is for separation purposes then they would quite reasonably charge. However there is no reason for the agents to expect the house will not be up for sale "is there?"
etccarmageddon
06-07-2005, 13:56
I've asked her to get 3 written valuations. She telling me now that they will cost 200 pounds for all 3? I thought they were free?personally I think this is your responsibility to organise. and it's your fault that you're getting this kind of response from her - you assumed she would co-operate! of course she'd throw a spanner in the works - it's to her advantage to now fluck about for as long as possible. get in that house - borrow a anti capitalist rioter if necessary but get in there!
grandmaster
06-07-2005, 13:56
She will make the house a complete tip, trying to lower the value.
get your mum and yourself off the mortgage.
I think you are wasting your time..
Simon,
Get her to confirm who is valuing the house and when.
Ask your solicitor (or other trusted person, your mother?) to accompany the valuation - do not do this yourself as you will end up arguing!
Speak to each of the valuers before hand to confirm if/why they are charging - make it clear the house will be up for sale.
Be clear - if she is living in the house when you put it up for sale, she will try to obstruct (miss appointments, leave the place messy) in the hope that you will backdown and hand it over to you.
etccarmageddon
06-07-2005, 15:48
She will make the house a complete tip, trying to lower the value.
get your mum and yourself off the mortgage.
I think you are wasting your time..so short and so right.
Florence
06-07-2005, 16:13
Yes she got the letter. She says the estate agents are charging her for the valuations! But the one I got a while ago, was free..
If they are charging there has to be a bill with vat on it! no bill no money was paid. Infact round hereteh estate agents give valuations free and charge you money only if they have top put up boards and sell the house.
Easy way out of this you contact the estate agents arrange tehm to call and value the property. You be at the property even if only sat outside and speak to them before they start and as they finish. Ask them if there is a charge to before they start. She cannot refuse them access to value the property as you are paying part of the mortgage. You can arrange all on the same day about 30 mins apart. If she askes why you are there to check the quotes just say that you have to.
etccarmageddon
06-07-2005, 17:29
I think Simon and his ex should sit down together and watch that public information film 'war of the roses'.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098621/
smicer07
08-07-2005, 17:24
Bit of news. She's given ME an ultimatum! I agree to sign the form by Monday or SHE puts the house up for sale! And I carry on paying mortgage, selling fees, redemption fee etc etc... Unsure of how to proceed, and am not sure if she's bluffing or not. I want 1000 plus legal costs plus half of possessions but she's unwilling to give me that.
grandmaster
08-07-2005, 17:26
i thought you had put the house up for sale?
smicer07
08-07-2005, 17:28
No, my solicitor sent hers a letter saying that I did, but no further steps have been taken as she won't agree to it being sold (at the moment... monday is obviously different somehow..hmm)
ian@huth
08-07-2005, 17:34
If she is not bluffing then can you afford to take the risk of being saddled with a house that may have negative equity. Consider your Mothers involvement.
Unless you have had recent valuations done on the house, which I am sure you haven't, and had a good look at how the market is performing in your area it is a tough decision to make.
There is no way that she can make you solely responsible for selling fees, etc.
I would guess that she is bluffing but I have nothing to lose, you and your Mother have.
I would pick up the phone and yellow pages straight away and get calling estate agents telling them that you must have a valuation before Monday as the house will be put on the market then. When you have got agents arranged tell her what time they will be calling and that you will be there to see how things go. Make it appear to her that you are going along with putting the house up for sale and see if she cracks.
Chimaera
08-07-2005, 17:36
No, my solicitor sent hers a letter saying that I did, but no further steps have been taken as she won't agree to it being sold (at the moment... monday is obviously different somehow..hmm)
That's because you have given in to her over everything so far, she's just waiting for you to bend over so she can......well you get the picture. Stand your ground and you may find things are very different on Monday when she realises you will not be handing over the house on a plate to her! :)
Do you get all the profits as well?
If you are likely to end up out of pocket on this go and talk to your mortgage provider to see what they have to say.....
You might be able to get them to agree that you stop the mortgage payments but get no money and pay no costs to do with the sale.
Yes you would lose the 1K but you would be entitled to half the posessions.
Just a thought........
Raistlin
08-07-2005, 17:43
And I carry on paying mortgage, selling fees, redemption fee etc etc...
Last I heard the mortgage was in both names.
That means that the Bank will hold you both equally liable for selling fees, redemption fees, meeting any shortfall in the selling price.
I know somone that was able to prove (when her house was reposessed) that she had done everything she reasonably could to meet the mortgage payments and that her ex husband had basically screwed her over.
The bank accepted he story, let he pay only her half of what was owed, and then chased him for the rest.
You will still be liable for your half of the costs but there is a chance that your bank could be persuaded to look upon her recent behaviour in a less than favourable light.
etccarmageddon
08-07-2005, 17:44
I can tell you now, the mortgage company aren't going to be interested in this farse. They have no interest in allowing arrears to build up and a moronic mortgage holder who is threatening to no longer contribute. If either of you refuse to pay the mortgage they wont give a monkeys - you're both liable and if either of you dont pay then you both end up in the poo.
My advice to you Simon is to ignore any advice people offer you.
Raistlin
08-07-2005, 17:44
My advice to you Simon is to ignore any advice people offer you.
So, situation normal then ;)
The Fool
08-07-2005, 17:56
what you should do if re-entering the house is not an option is to make a statuatory declaration by way of charge down at the land registry in Swansea. You can lodge your claim on the house, if you don't already have one or are worried about getting skanked, in this fashion and it won't be able to go through the conveyancing stage without your issues being addressed. You can get a lawyer to do this fairly rapidly if you know the right things to say and it will cost you a couple of hundred pounds - ifs its lodged at the registry you should be safe. I have done similar things before
Call her bluff!
When you sell a house, the redemption & solicitors fees are taken out of the proceeds automatically by the selling solicitor before you get any of it - she won't have any choice - if you are in positive equity after the charges you and her will get 50% each - job done!
The Fool
08-07-2005, 18:24
or just turn up in the back garden (or front for that matter) with a few friends and a BBQ (weather is good tommorow apparently :)) just as a protest
Call her bluff. And in the meantime, MOVE BACK IN.
The Fool
08-07-2005, 23:31
you could move in and take some things away for repair - eg - the front door
Or order ten tonne of manure to be placed on the front door.... muahahahahahah.
How about a garden sale of her stuff.... hehehehe
humphreys barmy
11-07-2005, 09:04
Smicer - How's things going ?
smicer07
11-07-2005, 09:55
Well she's asking for an answer today- either take the 1000 or sell the house. I'm not happy with either solution- I'd rather her give me 1000+possessions and maybe legal fees to sign- and neither of us can afford to sell realistically.
You need to tell her that then :)
So she thinks she's calling your bluff. Get a 'for sale' board up. It will cost you nothing but might convnice her to give you money for posessions. Remember, swhatever she says, she really doesn't want to sell it - she has planned from the start to live there. She wants it, badly.
Heavens, I could have sworn I posted something similar to this last February ...
The Fool
11-07-2005, 09:58
Well she's asking for an answer today- either take the 1000 or sell the house. I'm not happy with either solution- I'd rather her give me 1000+possessions and maybe legal fees to sign- and neither of us can afford to sell realistically.
just demand that the house be sold at a minimum price - and make that minimum price extortionate so no one will want to buy it.
Then tell her you want half that value to be 'bought out'
Smicer,
With all due respect, you originally posted on the forum asking for advice. This advice you have been given, often repeatedly through the whole sorry situation.
This advice you have chosen to ignore, or only take in part. It has become obvious to me that either you don't like the advice that you are being given, or you have no intention of listening to what is being said. This thread, along with the original have now been rumbling along for months.
*YOU* need to decide what to do, as it's *YOU* in the situation. Just for my own sanity's sake, DO something and get this sorry mess sorted out. No matter which way you turn now, you lose, so pick something and deal with it, this thread has a limited shelf life now.
gooner4life
11-07-2005, 10:02
Agreed 100% with the last post.
This needs to be wrapped up now, smicer only listens to the advice that matches his ideals.
I think the thread should be closed and forgotten to be honest its past being a train wreck now.
grandmaster
11-07-2005, 10:23
Just give her the f*@:!-? house,
Whats a thousand pounds these days.
<dons flame proof jacket>
Ok she screwed you over and in your mind you feel hard done by, ok yes you may be but get over it get out meet another girl,set up a new home and start a family.
Then she will see you all happy and think boll**** what have i done, meanwhile she will have a mortgage she cannot afford and more than likely still be single,
</dons flame proof jacket>
etccarmageddon
11-07-2005, 10:24
Well she's asking for an answer today- either take the 1000 or sell the house. I'm not happy with either solution- I'd rather her give me 1000+possessions and maybe legal fees to sign- and neither of us can afford to sell realistically.you would have been happy to take this £1000 and sign it over a few weeks ago so get a grip and get on with it. both of you need to act your age and I dont mean that comment with any malice.
humphreys barmy
11-07-2005, 11:11
Decide what you want, and then stick to it. But you have to stand up for yourself, and mean what you say. She seems "stronger" than you, but that doesn't mean you should do what's best for her. Do what's best for you, and only you.
Tezcatlipoca
11-07-2005, 13:51
smicer has asked me to close this for now.
So, as it's his thread.....Thread Closed.
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