View Full Version : confessions of the kronas mind
today, i was near my freinds apartment next door lives a sensationally nice woman, to me, i got chatting to her seems nice, reports suggest shes is single and just below my age.
the problem is im a lame convesationist, i have no real experiance with creating conversation, with women, people often think im a nerd :erm: anyway the purpose of this thread is on what i should do if i meet her again, my freind is planning on inviting them for drinks over at somepoint in the next century so im not really wanting to be a bore, seen as i have little hobbies, or interests even a job, it will be hard.
im not really wanting to be fake, i can be myself, but dont want to create a situation where i look like a*se
any advice is appreicated.
as long as its sensible and not a dig.
this is proberbly not going to do me anygood, but hey you have to try :erm: :D :p:
handyman
03-12-2004, 19:26
I would not go on and on about the negatives of smoking or drinking. I know it's your choice not too but you'll get knowhere if you have a go at her. (thats if she does drink).
Other than that lose the duffel coat and i'm sure you'll do ok.
Chimaera
03-12-2004, 19:38
Don't be too over-keen - that will always put a girl off! Just be friendly and SMILE!!!!! Then just let things take their course - and don't sit there anaysing the situation - save that for your blog. :D
paulyoung666
03-12-2004, 19:42
ask her if she fancies going bowling , could be fun if neither oof you have no experience :D :D :D
ask her if she fancies going bowling , could be fun if neither oof you have no experience :D :D :D
An excellent suggestion :)
Just be yourself and if you feel like you're drying up, tell her it's because you're shy (I'll leave it up to you if you want to add the "around beautiful women" bit)
That way she'll know it's because of your shyness (which can be overcome) and not because you're bored with her or don't like her company.
Never worry about telling a woman you're shy!
It's simple! Talk about her and leave yourself out of the conversation.Less of the I think and more of the what do you think/like/do.Avoid politics,religion and anything too controversial.What films has she seen/liked.Music,theatre,food,star signs,animals,art,books,poetry,favourite seasons,places she has visited.
Goodness it is so easy if you just talk to her as a person and not as an object of worship.Think of her as a possible friend not a conquest and then the conversation will flow.Be interested only in her opinions.If she asks you what you like say so and then switch the convo back to her with another question.Good conversation flows from asking questions. ;)
Incog.
The 2 posts above are excellent advice, wish I'd known all that when I was younger!
The 2 posts above are excellent advice, wish I'd known all that when I was younger!
I was always shy myself.However I learned from watching others.I saw that those who had the most success were those who LISTENED and then asked questions so as to keep listening. ;)
I was always shy myself.However I learned from watching others.I saw that those who had the most success were those who LISTENED and then asked questions so as to keep listening. ;)'Course, if you are a bloke, having a tight pair of 'buns' must help as well :p: :D
'Course, if you are a bloke, having a tight pair of 'buns' must help as well :p: :D
And then you go and spoil it all by saying something stupid!
Cue for a song I believe. ;)
An excellent suggestion :)
Just be yourself and if you feel like you're drying up, tell her it's because you're shy (I'll leave it up to you if you want to add the "around beautiful women" bit)
That way she'll know it's because of your shyness (which can be overcome) and not because you're bored with her or don't like her company.
Never worry about telling a woman you're shy!
the problem is im shy with most people, so you can imagine what its like when someone you have taken a liking too is there.
ask her if she fancies going bowling , could be fun if neither oof you have no experience :D :D :D
bowled once, i didnt do too bad i managed to get most pins down, quite anumber of misses mind :erm:
I would not go on and on about the negatives of smoking or drinking. I know it's your choice not too but you'll get knowhere if you have a go at her. (thats if she does drink).
Other than that lose the duffel coat and i'm sure you'll do ok.
she does smoke, duffel coat.... :erm: i have a ben sherman top i can wear but its freezing these days :erm:
thanks for the advice guys/women :) much appreciated :) keep it coming if anyone has any other good suggestions for a shy person such as myself.
It's simple! Talk about her and leave yourself out of the conversation.Less of the I think and more of the what do you think/like/do.Avoid politics,religion and anything too controversial.
but thats killing most of my arsenal :p:
What films has she seen/liked.Music,theatre,food,star signs,animals,art,books,poetry,favourite seasons,places she has visited.
i did ask where she was from and talked a bit about that,
Goodness it is so easy if you just talk to her as a person and not as an object of worship.
women dont like men to worship them ? :shocked: :Yikes: ;)
Think of her as a possible friend not a conquest and then the conversation will flow.Be interested only in her opinions.If she asks you what you like say so and then switch the convo back to her with another question.Good conversation flows from asking questions. ;)
Incog.
excellent advice, i got nervous, but i kept it going for a bit.
It's simple! Talk about her and leave yourself out of the conversation.Less of the I think and more of the what do you think/like/do.Avoid politics,religion and anything too controversial.What films has she seen/liked.Music,theatre,food,star signs,animals,art,books,poetry,favourite seasons,places she has visited.
To a point, but not all girls are like that. All girls like attention on them, but not that much. Some don't like it as it turns the experience into a job interview styled situation rather than informal gather.[/QUOTE]
Avoid anything sporty/competitive like the plague.
Chim's advice is bang on from what I know. Do you have any more?
The trouble is though, women are so varied it is really difficult to generalise what to do that will work on every woman (men are much easier, we tend to follow a general rule). You need to be dynamic, think on your feet and try adapt your thinking as you find out what drives her.
My two brothers never have any trouble with the ladies and they always put it down to confidence. I have always been shy myself and when I have been bold/bolder it normally reaps some reward. Xaccers is right with being honest about being shy, which does help you out a bit, but mostly confidence wins the girl.
SMHarman
03-12-2004, 22:37
And then you go and spoil it all by saying something stupid!
Cue for a song I believe. ;)Like . .... ... and don't dare say that.
Just remember in the end the Nerds win out. Thy get the good jobs, the money and the girls, while the cool guy at school is still driving around in his Nova, delivering pizza and hanging out with the other mates that worshiped him.
The be yourself stuff is good advice.
In the end if / when things progress, she will soon find out if you were being a total fake at the outset.
im going to push for my mate to invite them around for drinks once his place is fully completed, just to get to know her, i mean them. ;)
although i dont think much will come of this, but what have i got to lose ?
i dont want to be fake, im extremely shy, also i need to watch my mouth, i tend to get argumentative in a debateful way ;) (so i have been told :dozey: )
homealone
03-12-2004, 22:47
thanks for the advice guys/women :) much appreciated :) keep it coming if anyone has any other good suggestions for a shy person such as myself.
yes - never worry about how other people see you, be true to yourself.
but at the same time don't wear any attitude like a flag, the football shirt is a good analogy - you walk in a pub with a mufc top & you get pigeon holed straight away - let someone find out about you. (Incogs advice re the questions & conversation is brilliant).
I think the avril thing is significant, you have admitted to a major change of opinion, I think you can start to realise the same radical approach applies to every instant of the rest of your life - and start to bloody enjoy it :)
SMHarman
03-12-2004, 22:57
yes - never worry about how other people see you, be true to yourself.
but at the same time don't wear any attitude like a flag, the football shirt is a good analogy - you walk in a pub with a mufc top & you get pigeon holed straight away - let someone find out about you. (Incogs advice re the questions & conversation is brilliant).
I think the avril thing is significant, you have admitted to a major change of opinion, I think you can start to realise the same radical approach applies to every instant of the rest of your life - and start to bloody enjoy it :)
Attitude - interesting word. Attitude indicates you are unwilling to change - like an alligance to a football team. Kronas you talk about being passionate and vociferous about debating, but in such conversations if the person you are talking too has a different view, make sure you are listeneing to it and taking on board what they have to say, not trying to convert them.
Speeking as a painfully shy person myself I feel that I am in a position to give some advice.
The best relationships I have ever had with my girlfriends (the few that ive had) have started when I have taken no interest in them at all ironicly, well not in a relationships sense anyway. All of my worst relationships have started when I have taken an interest in the girl like that from the get-go.
More of my friends are female than male to be honest anyway so it has never been a problem making friends with females for me, I prefer thier company most of the time anyway, you can be more honest with a lass than you can with your mates.
Confidence deffinatley helps but dont get over confident as this can come across as arogence and big headedness.
Ive always found that losing a small argument can be quite effective too, I have a long running arguement with my ex-girlfriend over wich of us is older, she is 9 days older than me but was born premature so I always say im older biologically :) gets on everybodies nerves around us but always seems to get us closer together, a playful argument can be a very effective form of flirting, just be sure to lose, it always goes better that way in my experience.
Richard M
04-12-2004, 00:20
women dont like men to worship them ? :shocked: :Yikes: ;)
Hell no!
They'll think you're desperate.
women dont like men to worship them ? :shocked: :Yikes: ;)
Don't worship us listen to us because if there is one thing women really hate about men is that they DON'T listen.
Also you must not only listen to what she says you need to remember what she says.There is nothing worse than telling someone something about yourself and the very next time you meet them they have forgotten what you told them. :rolleyes:
The thing is if you try not to think of a conversation as a battleground you might do better.Not all conversations have to be reasoned debates.It is supposed to be fun getting to know people.The other thing is that the more you practice the better you get at it.The better you get at it the more you enjoy it.The more you enjoy it the better you become at the art of conversation.The real art is actually listening more than you talk.That way everyone gets a turn and no one gets accused of being self asorbed because no one else got a chance to participate.
Anyway I'm sure you will sort it out. :)
'Course, if you are a bloke, having a tight pair of 'buns' must help as well :p: :D
And then you go and spoil it all by saying something stupid!
However I do try to put a dash of the truth even in my silliest comments ;)
'Course, if you are a bloke, having a tight pair of 'buns' must help as well :p: :DWell checking that area is extremely important to a woman in that sort of situation (first meeting/assessment) .......... the tighter they are, the more likely the man is to have spent his time exercising those muscles..... by talking out of his derriere.... i say it's important because many women can't tell the difference and fall victim to the charm offensive, so checking the tightness of buns is a MUST!
NB. Advice taken from "Do you really knead a man?" Dr Miriam Hansoff PhD - Life Coach and Therapist, Bethesda Springs Emotional Relapse Centre, C.A. Mosby Publishing House. RRP £12.99 pbk from all good retailers, £0.50 from charity shops on your local high rd.
Well checking that area is extremely important to a woman in that sort of situation (first meeting/assessment) .......... the tighter they are, the more likely the man is to have spent his time exercising those muscles..... by talking out of his derriere.... i say it's important because many women can't tell the difference and fall victim to the charm offensive, so checking the tightness of buns is a MUST!
NB. Advice taken from "Do you really knead a man?" Dr Miriam Hansoff PhD - Life Coach and Therapist, Bethesda Springs Emotional Relapse Centre, C.A. Mosby Publishing House. RRP £12.99 pbk from all good retailers, £0.50 from charity shops on your local high rd.
Ah but then we end up with the situation that the man who works HARD to maintain that tight derriere frankly hasn't got the time to listen to you because he keeps having to shape up his buns.
Give me a man who listens and he can be as cuddly as a teddybear with the fattest a*se in the world for all I care. :angel:
Of course if you are not looking for conversation then the tight buns are an indication of what you are really after. :naughty:
Incog.
I don't understand what buns have to do with this at all? Do you have to cook or something?
I don't understand what buns have to do with this at all? Do you have to cook or something?
Have a quiet word with Rammy sonny. ;) He'll put you straight. :)
I find that it's a bit of a game, women are difficult creatures for us guys to understand. I have often started chatting after they have just got nasty with some guy who was touching them up or being too suggestive etc, I have used it as a conversational starter and not let them think I am really that interested. Sometimes within a few minutes they are have been probably more touchy feely or suggestive with me than the guy they sent away with a flea in his ear! I can usually get away with saying exactly what I want to a woman because I smile when I say it and they can see I am making a joke about it.
(thats why I always get in trouble online, you cant see me smiling)
I know it's difficult, but patience usually pays off with women. If they see you looking too keen or get the hint that you may be desperate, it's all blown. never do the rounds in a room by attempting to chat up each woman one by one, they are more intelligent than we sometimes give them credit for (escapee ducks) They will pick up on this, if you have already been turned down by another woman, theres no chance. It's not like that for guys, we dont care how many times a woman has been turned down.
As others have said there are tabboo subjects such as ex girlfriends, when I was out of work I used to tell them I had taken early retirement. You just have to be positive and as long as she's a "nice Person" the fact that you are shy, dont have a job etc will be no problem.
Whatever you do, dont have a go at her about disagreeing with promiscuous sexual encounters. you never know she may be waiting to pounce on you! :D
Sorry I cant be any more help, I found chatting up women gets better with age, or perhaps it's practice. I used to be shy, I am still quiet and often look across the room at a woman and dont quite get the courage to go across and talk to her. I had a woman in my local pub who recently said she thought I was an anorak, she was quite shocked after engaging me in conversation.
If you are both a good match the conversation should flow, but remember if she says anything about drinking. politics or sex etc that you strongly disagree with......just bite your tongue.
best of luck :tu:
Don't worship us listen to us because if there is one thing women really hate about men is that they DON'T listen.
im a good listener :)
Also you must not only listen to what she says you need to remember what she says.There is nothing worse than telling someone something about yourself and the very next time you meet them they have forgotten what you told them. :rolleyes:
i really do hate that too :dozey:
The thing is if you try not to think of a conversation as a battleground you might do better.Not all conversations have to be reasoned debates.It is supposed to be fun getting to know people.The other thing is that the more you practice the better you get at it.The better you get at it the more you enjoy it.The more you enjoy it the better you become at the art of conversation.The real art is actually listening more than you talk.That way everyone gets a turn and no one gets accused of being self asorbed because no one else got a chance to participate.
im more of a listener anyway, the problem is i can dish out advice, but i neglect myself in the process, however as you said listening is more important, remembering what you say is good too :)
Hell no!
They'll think you're desperate.
but i am......not ;)
Attitude - interesting word. Attitude indicates you are unwilling to change - like an alligance to a football team. Kronas you talk about being passionate and vociferous about debating, but in such conversations if the person you are talking too has a different view, make sure you are listeneing to it and taking on board what they have to say, not trying to convert them.
i see, dont worry about that i always let others express their viewpoint, i agree to disagree, unless someone being a pain in the backside.... :mad: :erm: :p:
Have a quiet word with Rammy sonny. ;) He'll put you straight. :)
If Ramrod is going on about male backsides, I don't think the term "straight" is entirely appropriate ;)
If Ramrod is going on about male backsides, I don't think the term "straight" is entirely appropriate ;)
Well then you are just the man in that case!!!! :D
Well then you are just the man in that case!!!! :D
I hope you're not inferring that I'm in any way 'omosexual! My Mrs. would be frightfully surprised (almost as much as I'd be).
scrotnig
04-12-2004, 23:47
I hope you're not inferring that I'm in any way 'omosexual! My Mrs. would be frightfully surprised (almost as much as I'd be).
Are you making suggestions about 'omosexualist poovres Bifta? I sincerely 'ope not!
Are you making suggestions about 'omosexualist poovres Bifta? I sincerely 'ope not!
Nope, you've lost me ... sorry.
I hope you're not inferring that I'm in any way 'omosexual! My Mrs. would be frightfully surprised (almost as much as I'd be).
No I was hinting that you would be able to give Damien some clear precise info on what we were talking about.
Trouble is I've forgotten what we were talking about now. ;)
Trouble is I've forgotten what we were talking about now. ;)
Bread rolls, women love bread rolls.
this is getting :notopic:
Haven't we covered all this before?
http://www.cableforum.co.uk/board/showthread.php?t=12297
Haven't we covered all this before?
http://www.cableforum.co.uk/board/showthread.php?t=12297
Not really.This time there is a real flesh and blood woman. :)
Earl of Bronze
06-12-2004, 19:02
Always be honest, be inquisative about her likes and dislikes. Gentle self depreciation always seems to work. But to be honest Incogs advice is about the best so far.....
A couple of things I'd add......
If you are gonna wear leather shoes, polish them...
Soap is you're best friend....
Relax, and breath.......
And lastly, dont come across as desperate. Women can smell desperation like a shark can smell blood, and then you're dead. ;)
Sometimes I think we leave out the really important lessons from the curriculum.
If only we did teach the art of conversation properly.Listening has become a dying art due to the constant playing of music,radios and tv's in everyone's home.Everyone talks at once and no body listens to anyone else.At least not enough to actually remember any facts.
Every tech/art class I teach has succumbed to the idea that they must have a background noise for them to be able to concentrate.Now me I can't abide a racket while I draw.
"we'll behave if we can have the radio on miss".
Yeah right!Like I believe that.Instead I spend the time turning the volume down that some twerp has turned up while my back is turned. :rolleyes: Guess what happens?
Anyway back on topic.
Perhaps you need to practice on a male friend or a family member of the female persuasion if you are so nervous.
Incog. :)
Sometimes I think we leave out the really important lessons from the curriculum.
If only we did teach the art of conversation properly.Listening has become a dying art due to the constant playing of music,radios and tv's in everyone's home.Everyone talks at once and no body listens to anyone else.At least not enough to actually remember any facts.
Every tech/art class I teach has succumbed to the idea that they must have a background noise for them to be able to concentrate.Now me I can't abide a racket while I draw.
"we'll behave if we can have the radio on miss".
Yeah right!Like I believe that.Instead I spend the time turning the volume down that some twerp has turned up while my back is turned. :rolleyes: Guess what happens?
Anyway back on topic.
Perhaps you need to practice on a male friend or a family member of the female persuasion if you are so nervous.
Incog. :)
Tell me about it!
Theres nothing worse then starting to speak to some girl and the converstation drying up for ages leaving you two standing there! I hate that so MUCH. Really, I do.
Hmm I ain't sure if I am qualified to speak on this one, apart from I am female, still single and 35 !! Anyway whenever a man (highly unlikely now with me stick:) ) takes and interest in me I tend to just natter about anything. Usually women like men who are shy, well I do anyway. I also like arguing, most women do, about politics, religion well anything really.
Women aren't really a different species, they wither like you or they don't and if she has already talke with you chances are you have a new friend at the very least. :)
RElax, be yourself, do something silly together, see if she wants a coffee with you and your mates, don't be too pushy and just go with the flow. You'll do fine as long as ya don't put all ya eggs in one basket.
SeTi^
i was thinking about getting her a christmas card, wishing her a merry christmas, also hoping she has settled in to her new place with family......seems odd if i did.
to me it does.
im so shy i could not possibly give it to her myself :blush:
Post it through her door if you are too shy to give it to her :) She wil be thrilled to have a card from a neighbour HONEST :)
SeTi^
Post it through her door if you are too shy to give it to her :) She wil be thrilled to have a card from a neighbour HONEST :)
SeTi^
im not her neighbour my freind is.
Good luck Kronas.
Sending a christmas card is a good idea.
You could all go out for a Christmas day out too. Why not go out for a meal or something ?
i have not done it but i will do tomorrow, (im shy :blush: ) still a good idea (the card) ? i was thinking of slipping my number in there, if she fancies a chat or gets bored, shes moving back down south next week for christmas....
ok just an update, we have been seeing each other on and off as freinds, ihave treated her with respect, kindness and help, we have been out on a number of occasions, one of which got me so hot under the collar that it triggered a panic attack :erm: :eek: but nothing happened between us.
so this past sunday i told her how i felt in writing and verbally, she was taken back a bit.
i was tounge tied and so was she, she admired my courage and the words i had written, however she said i put her in an awkard position and 'on the spot' we exchanged words and she told me some details about herself.
i told her everything, which i wont go in to because i believe its between me and her, she said that she can see us being freinds.
she likes me as a person who is genuine etc....
but she had to leave, i was left in tears i told her not to go.
she is in barcelona currently for a week, as a break for her.
but the one thing im going to do is not give up i want to win this lady over, she means alot me, all i can think about 24 hours a day 7 days a week is her.
i have written a poem and a rapsong for her, just about her, i have never felt so strongly and missed someone so much :( :cry:
If it's not too personal, can we get to see the poem?
sure russ, this is incomplete work of mine, more is written on paper but im trying to find some quiet time to improve on it.
when you left me my heart was broken in pieces
but now that you have returned those pieces are not so scattered
you are like a star burning bright in the sky
the light that you give is the beacon of my love
the passion fury and flame that burns within
is all my love but i hope its not a sin
the electricity that runs through me when your around
is my happiness for you i am so proud
your smile makes me melt
the accent and voice leaves a scent
your prettier than a rose
you do not wither in time i suppose
i want to be stronger when i am with you
you make me feel so good that its too good to be true
Okay, don't take this the wrong way but let it go. From reading your post it seems like the girl in question does not feel the same way about you and unfortunately that is the worst position that you can be in. Unrequited love can be a horrible thing as the feelings you have for someone are not reciprocated in the manner that you were hoping. I've been in a similar situation to you where I had very strong feelings for someone and was told that we could only be 'friends'. It's a hard pill to swallow :mad: The only way you can get over her is to try and forget about her and not put yourself into a situation where you have to spend too much time in her company or talk to her for long periods of time because otherwise, the feelings will not go away and you will become more bitter & perhaps depressed that this person that, for the want of a better word, you 'love' does not feel the same way.
The idea that you can be 'friends' with someone that you obviously have strong feelings for is ridiculous because until the feelings that you have subside, all you are doing is 'torturing' yourself and I can guarantee that in the long term it will hurt even more.
im not going to give up, she has never said she does not like me, i know i have a slim chance, but showing someone a diffarent side to you can maybe turn a person around, she said she does not want a boyfreind, many times before, yet still ended up with someone....
I AM NOT TAKING THIS LAYING DOWN
I WILL FIGHT FOR HER, EVEN IT ENDS UP BEING A MASSIVE STRUGGLE FOR A ZERO RESULT.
YOUR THE SECOND PERSON TO TRY AND TAKE ME DOWN TONIGHT, IM NOT HAVING ANY OF IT UNTIL I GET A DEFINATIVE ANSWER :mad:
im not going to give up, she has never said she does not like me, i know i have a slim chance, but showing someone a diffarent side to you can maybe turn a person around, she said she does not want a boyfreind, many times before, yet still ended up with someone....
I AM NOT TAKING THIS LAYING DOWN
I WILL FIGHT FOR HER, EVEN IT ENDS UP BEING A MASSIVE STRUGGLE FOR A ZERO RESULT.
YOUR THE SECOND PERSON TO TRY AND TAKE ME DOWN TONIGHT, IM NOT HAVING ANY OF IT UNTIL I GET A DEFINATIVE ANSWER :mad:
Stop it! Now you are being creepy.You are coming across as the very thing you say you are not.
You ask for advice and help and people honestly give it.I think that you have had an enormous amount of help from the members here and we don't need this.However friends do not always tell you to go ahead when it may not be in your best interests and you shold accept that we have reservations.You do seem to form infatutations very quickly and this is a worrying trend.
If you don't want advice about this then I suggest you stop posting about it.That way no one can upset you. ;)
Incog.
Richard M
02-03-2005, 23:47
Stop it! Now you are being creepy.
im not going to give up, she has never said she does not like me
I never said that she does not like you but liking you as a friend and liking you as a boyfriend are completely different and the more that you try and push the issue with her the more she might start to not like you. If you're determined to pursue her then take it slow, don't go rushing in too fast and start confessing all these feelings you have for her as it's more than likely going to scare her off.
You mention that you are after an answer but first of all ask yourself whether or not you can handle it if she says once and for all that nothing is going to happen between the two of you. They say the truth hurts and it sounds like it is going to. :mis:
Anyway, all the best.
Tezcatlipoca
02-03-2005, 23:58
she said that she can see us being freinds.
she likes me as a person who is genuine etc....
Sorry, kronas, but if she's said stuff like that, then I don't think you have a chance of becoming anything other than "just friends" :(
she said she does not want a boyfreind, many times before, yet still ended up with someone....
If a woman tells you that she doesn't want a boyfriend, or does not want a relationship right now, but then does end up with someone else, it's generally an indication that they do not want you as a boyfriend, do not want a relationship with you, but don't want to hurt you by saying that right out.
Second time Today I've broken my rule.
Creepy is what it sounds like to me as well.
Most blokes have been there, you fancy her, she doesn't fancy you.
Push too hard and start coming out with poetry and stuff, she WILL run a mile, or worse, get a restraining order!
carlingman
03-03-2005, 00:03
im not going to give up, she has never said she does not like me, i know i have a slim chance, but showing someone a diffarent side to you can maybe turn a person around, she said she does not want a boyfreind, many times before, yet still ended up with someone....
I AM NOT TAKING THIS LAYING DOWN
I WILL FIGHT FOR HER, EVEN IT ENDS UP BEING A MASSIVE STRUGGLE FOR A ZERO RESULT.
YOUR THE SECOND PERSON TO TRY AND TAKE ME DOWN TONIGHT, IM NOT HAVING ANY OF IT UNTIL I GET A DEFINATIVE ANSWER :mad:
Well good luck with it with kronas.
But no offence personally but you are going to end sounding like a stalker if you push the issue too much.
You will soon lose the obsession with this girl much like you have with the Bovril girlie :D
It is better to remain friends than nothing at all and after all your only young (and I dont mean that to be patronising) but you will soon find the right one for you.
:tu:
i refuse to give up, im not going to push, i asked the question "why cant we even try and go out with each other tell me why give me a reason"
she said "im sorry i cant give you a reason"
this person had to rush off in a hurry because they had to be elsewhere, i will fight for what i want, becaus ei am so passionate, i have had too many people say it looks bleak, i wont know until i get the full facts.
and carlingman, this is not avril, that was about a taleneted musician, this is real life, and it seems to me what i feel is real.
If a woman tells you that she doesn't want a boyfriend, or does not want a relationship right now, but then does end up with someone else, it's generally an indication that they do not want you as a boyfriend, do not want a relationship with you, but don't want to hurt you by saying that right out.
that was a maistake, she told me that, she does not need someone her life is ok, shes had some bad experiances, shes happy to be free and single.
if she tells me outright "i dont fancy you" i dont want to go out with you"
only then i will stop, but im not going to hammer her about it.
__________________
Stop it! Now you are being creepy.You are coming across as the very thing you say you are not.
im not, i can definately say that.
You ask for advice and help and people honestly give it.I think that you have had an enormous amount of help from the members here and we don't need this.However friends do not always tell you to go ahead when it may not be in your best interests and you shold accept that we have reservations.You do seem to form infatutations very quickly and this is a worrying trend.
i do accept the advice given for which i am greatful for, its not an infatuation which has grown overnight, name me one more real life infatuation i have had, or told you about ?
If you don't want advice about this then I suggest you stop posting about it.That way no one can upset you. ;)
Incog.
im not upset im always told bad things are going to happen, its like that with all my life, its whats held me back in some circumstances, i want to do things my way.
homealone
03-03-2005, 01:01
sorry but 'she' at this stage in your life will expect a job, car, house, etc
- you have a lot of well meant thoughts, and a poetic mind, kudos for that, but can you walk the walk?
sorry but 'she' at this stage in your life will expect a job, car, house, etc
- you have a lot of well meant thoughts, and a poetic mind, kudos for that, but can you walk the walk?
job, car, house? he's 18...
sorry but 'she' at this stage in your life will expect a job, car, house, etc
- you have a lot of well meant thoughts, and a poetic mind, kudos for that, but can you walk the walk?
to my knowledge she is happy as she is now, she works, and will soon take driving lessons, im willing to stick my neck out, then i will build myself some respect with trying to gain employment, i can bring the happiness and honour to her, but i want to give her so much more, that can only be achieved by love and financial security.
i have been looking for work anyway.
ian@huth
03-03-2005, 01:10
It sounds to me that the girl is trying very hard not to hurt you. Anyone who says "im sorry i cant give you a reason" is not going to change their mind and the more you try to push her the sooner she will vanish from your life. If you want her it would be better if you tried to slow things down and not appear so desperate. Just try to be friends and forget about romance and writing poems. Time could alter her opinions and feelings if you play it right but if you try too hard to win her over you will lose her even as a friend.
It sounds to me that the girl is trying very hard not to hurt you. Anyone who says "im sorry i cant give you a reason" is not going to change their mind and the more you try to push her the sooner she will vanish from your life. If you want her it would be better if you tried to slow things down and not appear so desperate. Just try to be friends and forget about romance and writing poems. Time could alter her opinions and feelings if you play it right but if you try too hard to win her over you will lose her even as a friend.
yes i know that, but i feel it will drive me back in to a despressive state if i dont take action, the outcome will show me, im willing to accept her answer whether it be yes or no, the outcome on my mental health is something i cannot answer.
timewarrior2001
03-03-2005, 05:13
by concentrating on this girl, who to be honest doesnt sound interested in you one little bit, you may be giving up the chance to find happiness with someone that does want to be with you.
Her answers were the polite way of saying no. Kronas, when a woman says no they mean no, no now and no in the future.
I have had a relationship with someone who was my best mate, I pushed and pushed, I got what I wanted in the end. We no longer speak, it didnt work, friendships to relationships rarely do. To make matters worse she was away at uni too.
My advice is seeing as you are friedns with this girl, back off, if you dont you wont even have a friendship, if she thinks you are willing to destroy a friendship because you want something she doesnt, how could she ever trust you?
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