The offside rule explained for women
24-01-2006, 14:55
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#1
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Karateka
Join Date: Dec 2003
Age: 33
Posts: 7,098
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The offside rule explained for women
Not sure if this should be here or in the Humour section, but here goes anyway...
You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.
The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.
Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.
The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.
She prepares to throw her purse to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.
At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.
Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.
Dear Girls - you have just learned the offside rule
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Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.
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24-01-2006, 16:12
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#2
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Palace Princess
Join Date: Jun 2005
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Re: The offside rule explained for women
Dad taught me when I was old enough to learn it  |
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24-01-2006, 16:24
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#3
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That damn leprechaun!!
Join Date: Sep 2003
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Re: The offside rule explained for women
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Originally Posted by Ellie
Dad taught me when I was old enough to learn it
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Yeah, but that was only yesterday 
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The doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever.
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24-01-2006, 16:51
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#4
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vista home premium user
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Re: The offside rule explained for women
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Nugget
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Originally Posted by Ellie
Dad taught me when I was old enough to learn it
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Yeah, but that was only yesterday |
Don't be silly Nugget, it was this lunchtime.
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24-01-2006, 18:31
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#5
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Gametag: Random Hom3r
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Re: The offside rule explained for women
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Originally Posted by Nugget
Yeah, but that was only yesterday |
Nugget, I'd put that asbestos suit on stand by if I was you  |
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25-01-2006, 10:14
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#6
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Palace Princess
Join Date: Jun 2005
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Re: The offside rule explained for women
Hmmm, Nugget & nffc 
...Havent you two got better things to do like being off somewhere playing with your conkers |
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25-01-2006, 11:27
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#7
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vista home premium user
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Re: The offside rule explained for women
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Originally Posted by Ellie
Hmmm, Nugget & nffc
...Havent you two got better things to do like being off somewhere playing with your conkers |
Oh balls...
/whips
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25-01-2006, 13:13
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#8
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That damn leprechaun!!
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Re: The offside rule explained for women
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Originally Posted by Ellie
Hmmm, Nugget & nffc
...Havent you two got better things to do like being off somewhere playing with your conkers |
Don't be silly - I've been living with Mrs Nug for 5½ years. She took my conkers off me ages ago 
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The doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever.
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25-01-2006, 13:20
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#9
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Karateka
Join Date: Dec 2003
Age: 33
Posts: 7,098
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Re: The offside rule explained for women
Ellie, didn't you know that Nugget's real surname is Bobbit 
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Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.
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25-01-2006, 15:52
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#10
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Not Happy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,573
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Re: The offside rule explained for women
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Originally Posted by Gareth
Dear Girls - you have just learned the offside rule
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now, can you send this to the Linesman Association so they can learn it too |
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25-01-2006, 21:07
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#11
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Re: The offside rule explained for women
__________________
Prejudice is opinion without judgement...Voltaire.
Is still Incognitas at heart.
If it's bold it is a moderation technique.If it's soft it's Coggy speaking.
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25-01-2006, 22:04
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#12
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Eric Cartman Wannabe
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Re: The offside rule explained for women
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Originally Posted by Incognitas
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OK, who had 2 days before Incog would relent and post in the sports forum in the CF sweeps? You get a CF goodie bag 
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25-01-2006, 22:59
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#13
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Guest
Location: Teesside
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Re: The offside rule explained for women
Football is like Yorkie bars.......Not for girls.
Have you noticed how boring the match is now its a family thing?
And when the girls run on the pitch baring their fantastic spheres they get banned from the ground!!!!
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25-01-2006, 23:24
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#14
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vista home premium user
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Re: The offside rule explained for women
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Originally Posted by timewarrior2001
Football is like Yorkie bars.......Not for Ellie.
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Better...
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26-01-2006, 01:26
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#15
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Join Date: Jun 2003
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Re: The offside rule explained for women
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Originally Posted by punky
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Incognitas
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OK, who had 2 days before Incog would relent and post in the sports forum in the CF sweeps? You get a CF goodie bag |
Anyone who mentions women,and the offside rule in football will get my attention.
Mind forget anything do do with explaining the rules of cricket..hubby has been trying for 35 years...
__________________
Prejudice is opinion without judgement...Voltaire.
Is still Incognitas at heart.
If it's bold it is a moderation technique.If it's soft it's Coggy speaking.
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