[Anonymouse]

A few years ago, I got enormous grief from them. I don't even have a TV.

To explain: when I moved into my flat, I had a long-term plan to (eventually) get a TV and video, and subscribe to NTL. But my parents' VCR suddenly died on them, and there were a couple of programmes I really wanted them to tape for me. So I decided to buy a VCR early and lend it to the parents until such time as they could afford to replace theirs...but I took out extra cover using my name and address, since I was going to be the one using it eventually.

If I'd known what was going to happen next I'd have had second thoughts about that.

I was very surprised to receive a letter, plus a licence form, from TVL; I just sent it back with a note saying I didn't have a TV. They sent another, plus notification that an inspector would call on such a date. He didn't turn up...not that I waited in for him. Go figure.

A third letter, suggesting I might have a PC (true, although there's no possible way they could know that for sure, since I built it myself) with a TV card (most definitely false - the non-TV version of my graphics card was cheaper). I wrote back an extremely snotty letter asking them "What part of 'I don't have a TV' don't you morons get? Did I perhaps write in Greek, or did I use too many one-syllable words?". By now I'd realised why they'd latched onto me like a damn lamprey (ever seen one? All those teeth? Eew!), and explained what had happened, i.e. the VCR business; I invited them to check with my parents (they didn't).

As for the possibility of the TV-enabled graphics card, I said that Windows was quite unstable enough without trying to watch TV drivel on it, thank you very much. As for 'any other member of my household' who might have had a licence at some point, I explained that the only other member was my 9-month-old kitten, who wouldn't watch TV even if I had one. She certainly didn't have a licence, and still doesn't.

The inspector did turn up eventually, and I showed him the aerial lead...which doesn't even have a co-ax plug on the end, hasn't had since I moved in (in 1999), and now probably never will. Thankfully I haven't heard anything since from these gorts. I still don't have a TV, and now, purely on principle, I have no intention whatsoever of getting one until the licence fee is abolished. I told 'em so, too. Besides, given the utter crap that's apparently on these days, what the hell do I want a TV for? I get all the entertainment I want from DVDs, reading and playing with my cat!

There are a couple of programmes I watch, but the mother tapes them for me so I can watch them (on their licensed TV) when I visit at the weekend. But that's it.

Edit: Hmmm. On delving further into that website, I now discover you do not need a TV licence for a TV card. Interesting.