[scrotnig]

I have often, in my time at ntl, offered help and assistance to the members of this fine forum.

Now, unusually for me, I'm asking for help/advice/opinions myself.

Many will be aware that recently left ntl after four years to go and work for another company within the telecomms industry. What I only hinted at was how this was part of a 'big plan' to change my life for the better, the final phase of which is about to come up.

It started last autumn when I moved house. I lived in a right hole that had been falling apart gradually for years. i thought I'd never have the guts to do it...even though I'm only renting...but I did...and my life improved.

This made me realise that really my whole life needed a similar 'makeover'. I therefore identified that the next 'issue' was my job. Although I was sort of ok being there, it was clear that I was going nowehere, and I had to get out and move on. This meant leaving a very large 'comfort zone' and I agonised for ages over it. I've come close to leaving before, but always chickened out. This time though, with some support from friends, I had the courage to do it. This is especially good considering I do suffer a little from depression, and what can seem a brilliant idea one day can seem a million miles out of reach the next.

However, it's going reasonably well and this fact has inspired me to think I can take things to another level.

It has long been remarked to me that I wasted my talents doing what I do...that I should have gone to college and then to university. But I had a bad time at school, so left at 16, and seem to have spent the following years of my life almost revelling in my 'cannot do it' status, and being seemingly happy with my lot.

But now things are different. Now I have realised I can change things for the better. I have decided that I would like to go to university...part time, evenings...from the next academic year, and after some deliberation, I would like to do a law degree. part time, two eveings a week plus all the 'homework' so to speak.

I have thought of other things...breaking myself in gently by doing an A level first, for instance. But all this wastes time. I believe I have the ability, and I've long had an interest (well probably more like a fascination) for law.

I know people who've done law degrees, albeit full time ones. Some have juggled having young kids with the work involved AND held down jobs as well. if they can do it, I am sure I can. I will have to finance the course costs myself, but with my new 'steady' hours (no lates!) in my new job, I think I can really do it!
But then....I think of myself, I know what I'm like. I then think that I wouldn't stand the pace over four years (part time takes an extra year), even though the workload, while high, is considerably less than a full time law degree as the course is structured to accomodate those with jobs, families, etc. So then I lose confidence and think it's not really 'me' to do this.....I think of myself as perhaops a bit inherently lazy and disorganised.

But on the flip side I relish the challenge, I know if I don't do it now, at 27, it's going to be too late. And I so want to be able to say to people who knock me, 'look, I did it!'.

I should add I've no designs on actually going into law as a career...I just want to do this because it's a challenge and I enjoy the subject.

So....my question to the forum is...am i doing the right thing? Should I go for it? Or am I deluding myself?

Thanks for reading my boring crap!