[Ramrod]

Classified Ads
The following were actually taken from classified ads in newspapers:
free yorkshire terrier. 8 years old. Hateful little dog.
free puppies: 1/2 cocker spaniel 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog
free puppies...part german shepherd part stupid dog
German shepherd 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.
Free. found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat... Been out awhile.. Better be reward.
1 man, 7 woman hot tub -- $850/offer
amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
snow blower for sale... Only used on snowy days.
2 wire mesh butchering gloves: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15
tickle me elmo, still in box, comes with its own 1988 mustang, 5l, auto, excellent condition $6800
cows, calves never bred... Also 1 gay bull for sale.
83 toyota hunchback -- $2000
soft & genital bath tissues or facial tissue 89 cents
full sized mattress. 20 yr. Warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell.
for sale: lee majors (6 million dollar man) - $50
nordic track $300 hardly used, call chubby
bill's septic cleaning "we haul American made products"
shakespeare's pizza - free chopsticks
hummels - largest selection ever "if it's in stock, we have it!"
get a little john: the traveling urinal holds 2 1/2 bottles of beer.
harrisburg postal employees gun club
georgia peaches california grown 89 cents lb.
nice parachute: never opened - used once slightly stained
free: farm kittens. Ready to eat.
american flag 60 stars - pole included $100
tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour.
exercise equipment: queen size mattress and box springs $175.
our sofa seats the whole mob and it's made of 100% italian leather.
joining nudist colony! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
alzheimer's center prepares for an affair to remember
gas cloud clears out taco bell.
open house body shapers toning salon free coffee and donuts