[TheDaddy]

Just got sent this, a couple made me chuckle, btw the ones with a * aren't my favs, they are some one elses



Your girlfriend turns 29 and you eagerly start scouting around for a replacement.

When you see players playing on tele and you go "He's good on football manager..."

*You suddenly realise that your friends and family have abandoned you, and you're sitting at home in the dark staring at a glowing screen in a growing puddle of your own urine.

When you stop fapping in front of your computer, 'cause you're too busy with FM

You dream about it.
Then at 4:17am for the 5th time in a row, you wake up, get your dressing gown on, treading quietly so not to wake the mrs and the kids (Its a game FFs, not heroin) then you sit there for 5 and a half hours till it is time for work. Then you call in sick, get rid of the Mrs and the kids

You go to put a bet on who will win the premiership next season and complain to the guy behind the desk at the betting shop that Wigan were relegated in 2013.

...then you put a bet on Blackburn because they were taken over by American business tycoons and are the holders with the best squad in the league.

when IRL someone signs a player u got on FM, if they pay more you start to think "i'm a negotiation genius" or if they pay less, u start going on about the fact that "you made that offer and it was rejected".

*You know you've been playing too much Football Manager when you're team in real life is losing so you switch off the television in anger and turning it on expecting to be able to continue from the start of the game

you start suggesting players to your mates for example Millan and they have never played the games and then you look at them with disgust when they dont know who your on about.

*Also, when you are watching MOTD of the day and you have to think twice to remember that KAKA hasn;t gone to Chelsea,Owen is still a Newcastle player and not back at Liverpool, SHevchenko is actually rubbish and that Gerrard,Lampard,Rio and Cole are in their prime and not 35 year old wasters.

*You really really really need a pee, but you hold it because your on a winning streak and think you might curse it if you go "relieve" yourself

*you throw something at your little sister because schalke ended your 90 match unbeaten run with a jammy late goal

*You hear the final whistle blow on TV. Your team has lost the FA Cup Final against their arch rivals. You sit in silence for a minute before turning your head slightly to your left, see "The final whistle blows! Manchester United have won the FA Cup !!!" on a red bar on a computer screen and start running

You see Cristiano Ronaldo sprinting down the flank really, really fast and think "wow, he's fast for a thirty-five year-old!" before realizing that you're NOT in 2022 and that he's still a twenty-two year-old.

*When a girl asks you:
"How you doing?"
and then you reply:
"Really well, just got to the semi's of the FA Cup and just Chelsea 3-2 with Sunderland "


The ones with a * are my favourite