Why do people allow kids to have over-age console games?

[clumsymum]

I have a son who is 11 (last year at primary school). He has access to a PC and a Wii, and we have a number of games for them, but they are all 'age appropriate'. We pay attention to the age certificates on them, and don't buy him games for 16 or 18 year-olds.

He does occasionally play a couple of age 12 games with us, but we had played them first, and were satisfied that we felt they were OK for him to play. We don't let him play them with his school mates (some of whom are still only 10).

But we have a slight social problem, as 3 or 4 of his friends (including a couple of lads I thought had 'really decent' parents) now have more violent games on their consoles. Call of Duty and a James Bond game feature highly (both 16), and one little darling has access to Grand Theft Auto (rated 18)

Now we have talked this through with our son. He fully understands why some games have higher PEGI age ratings, and has no desire for us to have them at home. He has said he doesn't really understand why some lads find these 'FUN', he's more than happy with his Lego star wars and Lego Indiana Jones games on the Wii, along with Super Mario Etc.

BUT that sets him apart from him peer group. I haven't said that he can't play these games when he's at his friends houses (altho really I'd like to), but just the fact that he has told them he doesn't have any here, and that we don't like them opens him up to being scorned.

I'm unsure how to deal with this.

But I also don't understand why parents are happy for their little boys (and they are still quite little at 10 and 11, even tho' mine is a great galumping chap) to get involved in all this violence.

[Hom3r]

I play on XBL COD:MW2, COD:BO & GTA:VI plus loads of 18 rated games with a 15 year old, (since he was 13/14) he plays & behaves better than most adults I meet online.

I see you point though, but when GTA: San Andreas came out my mums boss asked me about it as his 15 year old son was around his mates playing it, I told him about the games content, he dicided it would be better to get the game for his son so that he could monitor his usage.

The thing that winds me up is the "Violent games make violent People", that is BS, "violent people make violent people"

My daughter is 14 and ive let her play fps since UT2004 and MOH Spearhead. She knows the difference between real life and games and has since she was little

[Bluffdemon]

I Keep an eye on what games my 8yr old daughter plays , and what she does on the net , i have child protection software installed so i know she is safe to enjoy the net , without all the crap bits

but for instance last night i was playing mafia 2 on the xbox downstairs and its a 18 game , every time she comes into the front room i always pause a 15 or 18 yr old game , i think its the right thing todo .

[Maggy J]

Parents are the ones to decide what is fit for their children.Some children can cope and understand,some cannot.

I think the real rule in all this is not to leave them to it but to be involved in part of their gaming so you can discuss with them about reality and the influence of games on their lives in a sensible manner.

I'd also recommend from experience as a parent and teacher that parents do not allow the child/teenager to have a PC/console in their room as this will be a temptation not to do homework/sleep at the right times

[clumsymum]

Originally Posted by Maggy J

I think the real rule in all this is not to leave them to it but to be involved in part of their gaming so you can discuss with them about reality and the influence of games on their lives in a sensible manner.

Ah, but I suspect that many of the parents don't do that. The children I am talking about here have their Xboxes/PS3s in their bedrooms, and I think the parents are buying the games cos the kids want them, and then it keeps them quiet/out of parents way while they play them. I suspect quite a lot of parents have no idea what the games involve, having not played them themselves first.

Originally Posted by Maggy J

I'd also recommend from experience as a parent and teacher that parents do not allow the child/teenager to have a PC/console in their room as this will be a temptation not to do homework/sleep at the right times

Couldn't agree more. My son uses his PC in my office (office at home), and the Wii/TV in our living room. I've told him that he can have a TV in his room when he can buy one!
I believe that some of the problems we have with boys reading (or rather, NOT reading) in the UK is caused by them having all these other fgorms of entertainment available all the time. My son is an avid reader, and settles down with a book for at least half an hour before sleep every night.

[haydnwalker]

After reading through this thread with interest, as I'm only relatively young (27) I'd like to just plonk my 2ps worth in.

Since I was about 12/14 (however long ago it was since the PSone was out) I've always been allowed a console/computer/TV in my room. I am however an avid bookworm too

My parents actively discouraged myself and my brother from playing games on the big TV downstairs (for whatever reason). I enjoy (and always have) beating up aliens and random bad guys, but I've always known that games are games and you don't go round bashing people round the head with a baseball bat etc.

I agree some games are quite violent these days (and although I have Modern Warfare2 and GTA4 they aren't my favourite games).

IT IS up to the parents to decide what is/isn't for their kids, and my parents knew I've always been a sensible kid.

I wouldn't for example let a 10year old play a 15+ rated game, as theres sometimes lots of swearing and blood in them, even now, my wife moans at me when I play Modern Warfare 2 (because of the swearing).

But I see no problem in a 10/11 year old playing a 12 rated game, as I'm sure they've already seen/heard worse on TV and at school anyway. Obviously, discretion is the key

In the end, if your particular child understands why you won't let him play those games (and great if he doesn't care either!) then you shouldn't worry about what his friends think of you.

The only issue I can see is - his friends would rather play those games at their houses than the lego etc at yours...but thats a choice they make

Its quite a refreshing change for a parent to post something like that - there aren't many parents I've known throughout my life that would look twice at what their kids were playing.

[Jayster]

I'm 16 and have been playing games of whatever age for a while, probably since 8-10 Inc GTA:SA when I was about 10, I don't think it has effected me either way. And things I have seen in those games I would have heard by now in secondary school, Also my parents know the content in the games.
The child just has to know the difference between games and real life. Its all about maturity.

Originally Posted by clumsymum

I believe that some of the problems we have with boys reading (or rather, NOT reading) in the UK is caused by them having all these other fgorms of entertainment available all the time.

I don't think that is true at all, By going through my school I could point you out people who play more games and being in a higher English class. You can probably tell I am not the best at English however I am also not very good at Maths either and that cannot be blamed on a game.
I do not read and never really have, I do however find myself turning the subtitles on in nearly every game and played a MMO for a few years which has no voice acting so complete reading.

Originally Posted by Hom3r

I play on XBL COD:MW2, COD:BO & GTA:VI plus loads of 18 rated games with a 15 year old, (since he was 13/14) he plays & behaves better than most adults I meet online.
The thing that winds me up is the "Violent games make violent People", that is BS, "violent people make violent people"

Just goes to show its all about maturity and I could not agree more.

Since I'm still only 16 take from my opinion what you want.

[haydnwalker]

Originally Posted by Jayster

...Its all about maturity.

Completely true, children all mature at different times/ages. So you can't really tar every child with the same brush.

Also, the reading thing has nothing to do with games in my opinion. I know lots of people (even at my age now) that can't read a book because they don't keep the persons attention long enough.

[clumsymum]

Originally Posted by haydnwalker

After reading through this thread with interest, as I'm only relatively young (27) I'd like to just plonk my 2ps worth in.

Since I was about 12/14 (however long ago it was since the PSone was out) I've always been allowed a console/computer/TV in my room. I am however an avid bookworm too

My parents actively discouraged myself and my brother from playing games on the big TV downstairs (for whatever reason). I enjoy (and always have) beating up aliens and random bad guys, but I've always known that games are games and you don't go round bashing people round the head with a baseball bat etc.

I agree some games are quite violent these days (and although I have Modern Warfare2 and GTA4 they aren't my favourite games).

IT IS up to the parents to decide what is/isn't for their kids, and my parents knew I've always been a sensible kid.

I wouldn't for example let a 10year old play a 15+ rated game, as theres sometimes lots of swearing and blood in them, even now, my wife moans at me when I play Modern Warfare 2 (because of the swearing).

But I see no problem in a 10/11 year old playing a 12 rated game, as I'm sure they've already seen/heard worse on TV and at school anyway. Obviously, discretion is the key

In the end, if your particular child understands why you won't let him play those games (and great if he doesn't care either!) then you shouldn't worry about what his friends think of you.

The only issue I can see is - his friends would rather play those games at their houses than the lego etc at yours...but thats a choice they make

Its quite a refreshing change for a parent to post something like that - there aren't many parents I've known throughout my life that would look twice at what their kids were playing.

Thanks for this.
Yes apart from straightforward violence, it's the swearing and attitudes that I don't like in the over 15 games.
My son was out playing with some lads a few weeks ago- as they rode off on bikes, one kid turned to my son and said "eat my dust, prick!". Personally, I find that kind of language a tad offensive in most circumstances (and I'm no saint, I'll swear too if the stress of something gets to me, but feel very unhappy that it comes from the mouth of a 10 year old.

When you say "there aren't many parents I've known throughout my life that would look twice at what their kids were playing."
That backs up what I believe is happening in a lot of households.

[Maggy J]

Reading in children is down to encouragement and example.If parents always have their noses in a book and are seen by their children to view literacy as an important part of life and as an entertainment then children will follow along in their parents footsteps.

In other words if a child's home has bookshelves full of books from which their parents regularly read then they are probably going to be avid and fluent readers themselves..

So I say to the OP if you are an avid reader so will your son be and if you engage your son in a one to one about the issues of game,film and TV violence as well as that in the written word you will have done more than any total banning will achieve.

Because the actual experience of banning something merely makes it illicit and it get driven 'underground' where an overview becomes impossible because no discussion can take place.

[clumsymum]

Originally Posted by Maggy J

Because the actual experience of banning something merely makes it illicit and it get driven 'underground' where an overview becomes impossible because no discussion can take place.

Ah, but there is a difference between banning something, and actually obtaining something for your child.

I haven't 'banned' my son from going to his friends houses and seeing/playing them because I recognise that is counter-productive (altho' I have asked him not to play the over 18 games, and explained why), but I wouldn't buy these games for him.

The other kids parents have gone out and bought these games, they are actively encouraging their children to play these games. I wonder if they all sit and watch 18 rated movies together too ??

[Matt D]

When the Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 (BBFC rated 18) came out in 2009, I went to the midnight launch at ASDA.

The queues (pre-order & walk-in) were massive... and each contained quite a few mums only there to buy the game for their under-age children.

I've also often seen kids in actual game shops getting their mum/dad to buy an 18 rated game for them.

[Blackened]

Originally Posted by clumsymum

The other kids parents have gone out and bought these games, they are actively encouraging their children to play these games. I wonder if they all sit and watch 18 rated movies together too ??

They probably do with some, yes.
I agree with Maggy - some kids are ok to do this, some clearly aren't.

My brother's lads (13 & 11) are his best pals. He bought COD Black Ops for them and they all play it together. They're not only better at it than me and him but they're better behaved and act more mature AND friendly online than most of the adults we play against. In my opinion you're doing the right thing for your child, as you think it's not appropriate for him. But not all kids are of the same maturity. A responsible parent knows the appropriate levels.

In the same vein, some parents clearly don't know the appropriate levels and would buy their little sweethearts a pocket tazer if they could. Shame, but c'est la vie. As long as you do the right thing by your own, what more can you do.

[Maggy J]

Originally Posted by clumsymum

Ah, but there is a difference between banning something, and actually obtaining something for your child.

I haven't 'banned' my son from going to his friends houses and seeing/playing them because I recognise that is counter-productive (altho' I have asked him not to play the over 18 games, and explained why), but I wouldn't buy these games for him.

The other kids parents have gone out and bought these games, they are actively encouraging their children to play these games. I wonder if they all sit and watch 18 rated movies together too ??

Well in that case I think the only thing you can do is to continue the dialogue with your son about the issues of violence in games and films and why children shouldn't be playing viewing x rated and ignoring the warnings about suitable ages for viewing of such media.

You will however probably at some point have to accept that he will want to view and judge for himself.

I remember my son watching a cartoon when he was small which frightened him and so we switched it off and put the video away.It wasn't particularly violent beyond the usual comic book violence but it did prey on his mind.He had nightmares subsequently about it.In the end I got the video out viewed it and how it ended.I then sat with him and made him watch it to the end so he could see that there was a happy ending.End of nightmares.
This incident taught me that sometimes the facing up to scariness/violence in media is as important as the protecting of our children and that it is the participation of parents in the situation that is important.

If parents are buying these games/films etc for their children and just leaving them to it then they are being poor parents.If they are viewing with their children and a discussion is the result then I think a child/teenager is going to get a far more rounded attitude towards these films/games..

After all who doesn't remember hiding behind the sofa when Dr Who was on but if our parents had turned off the TV we would have been livid.