20-10-2005, 23:25
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#1
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Leeds - the dog house
Age: 31
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Posts: 8,241
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Stress
Friend sent me this - best joke I've heard in a while...
Man - "I've got an orange willy!"
Doc - "What?"
Man - "My willy - it's turned orange."
Doc - "Umm... I'll have to look that up. Ah, it seems it could be a sign of stress; do you suffer from stress?"
Man - "Not really"
Doc - "What about stress at work?"
Man - "Well, I did have a nightmare job, a complete idiot for a boss, I worked 80 hours week for pennies and then I got the sack"
Doc - "That sounds very stressful."
Man - "Yeah, but my new job is great, half the hours, 3 times the salary and I feel really appreciated"
Doc - "Hmm, what about your home life?"
Man - "Well, my girlfriend was a complete cow, she nagged non-stop and put me down every chance she got."
Doc - "That sounds stressful"
Man - "Yeah, but I left her and I've never been happier."
Doc - "I see, what about your social life?"
Man - "Social life? I don't really have one."
Doc - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"
Punchline:
Man - "Watch porn and eat Wotsits."
__________________
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative [Wilde]
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20-10-2005, 23:35
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#2
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Hardline unforgiving
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Back in England, but not for long...
Services: Weddings, christenings, barmitzvahs
Posts: 3,415
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Re: Stress
Quote:
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Originally Posted by greencreeper
Friend sent me this - best joke I've heard in a while...
Man - "I've got an orange willy!"
Doc - "What?"
Man - "My willy - it's turned orange."
Doc - "Umm... I'll have to look that up. Ah, it seems it could be a sign of stress; do you suffer from stress?"
Man - "Not really"
Doc - "What about stress at work?"
Man - "Well, I did have a nightmare job, a complete idiot for a boss, I worked 80 hours week for pennies and then I got the sack"
Doc - "That sounds very stressful."
Man - "Yeah, but my new job is great, half the hours, 3 times the salary and I feel really appreciated"
Doc - "Hmm, what about your home life?"
Man - "Well, my girlfriend was a complete cow, she nagged non-stop and put me down every chance she got."
Doc - "That sounds stressful"
Man - "Yeah, but I left her and I've never been happier."
Doc - "I see, what about your social life?"
Man - "Social life? I don't really have one."
Doc - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"
Punchline:
Man - "Watch porn and eat Wotsits."
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I sit at home, eating quavers and watching porn?
__________________
So tired of those who always chant "racist", rather than admit that other races can be criticised...
Apparently I'm anti-immigration  My girlfriend says if it's true, she's going back to her own country 
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20-10-2005, 23:53
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#3
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Leeds - the dog house
Age: 31
Services: Email me for a current price list
Posts: 8,241
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Re: Stress
Quote:
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Originally Posted by me283
I sit at home, eating quavers and watching porn?
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It'll curl up 
__________________
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative [Wilde]
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20-10-2005, 23:53
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#4
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Hardline unforgiving
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Back in England, but not for long...
Services: Weddings, christenings, barmitzvahs
Posts: 3,415
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Re: Stress
Quote:
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Originally Posted by greencreeper
It'll curl up |
It hasn't so far 
__________________
So tired of those who always chant "racist", rather than admit that other races can be criticised...
Apparently I'm anti-immigration My girlfriend says if it's true, she's going back to her own country
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20-10-2005, 23:55
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#5
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Cable Forum Team
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: midlands
Age: 39
Services: Mummy that man was nasty to me!!!
Posts: 17,986
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Re: Stress
maybe its to small to curl ??
__________________
 zinglebarb was hereThe blade twists you feel it burn it hurts so bad! how many more times in this life before it kills Arrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!
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20-10-2005, 23:58
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#6
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Hardline unforgiving
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Back in England, but not for long...
Services: Weddings, christenings, barmitzvahs
Posts: 3,415
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Re: Stress
Quote:
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Originally Posted by zinglebarb
maybe its to small to curl ??
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ooooh that's below the belt... literally!
__________________
So tired of those who always chant "racist", rather than admit that other races can be criticised...
Apparently I'm anti-immigration My girlfriend says if it's true, she's going back to her own country
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21-10-2005, 00:00
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#7
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Cable Forum Team
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: midlands
Age: 39
Services: Mummy that man was nasty to me!!!
Posts: 17,986
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Re: Stress
Quote:
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Originally Posted by me283
ooooh that's below the belt... literally!
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no look harder thats part of the belt 
__________________
zinglebarb was here The blade twists you feel it burn it hurts so bad! how many more times in this life before it kills Arrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!
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21-10-2005, 00:34
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#8
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Leeds - the dog house
Age: 31
Services: Email me for a current price list
Posts: 8,241
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Re: Stress
I was going to make a joke about prawn cocktail flavour, but I'd have been in trouble with the powers that be
__________________
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative [Wilde]
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21-10-2005, 10:21
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#9
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Hardline unforgiving
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Back in England, but not for long...
Services: Weddings, christenings, barmitzvahs
Posts: 3,415
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Re: Stress
Quote:
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Originally Posted by greencreeper
I was going to make a joke about prawn cocktail flavour, but I'd have been in trouble with the powers that be |
When I was at school, there was a belief that Walkers prawn cocktail crisps had the same smell as... well, something I can't say on here. Of course, nobody would admit to being the person who agreed with it; the word "apparently" was always hastily added to the end of such claims!
__________________
So tired of those who always chant "racist", rather than admit that other races can be criticised...
Apparently I'm anti-immigration My girlfriend says if it's true, she's going back to her own country
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