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Guidelines for a Merry Christmas
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Old 22-12-2011, 14:56   #1
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Guidelines for a Merry Christmas

Guidelines for a Merry Christmas


All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way, are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh for members of the public.

This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly when there are multiple passengers.

Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered.

To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only, and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks by night.

While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally-heated Observation Hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks.

The Angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to counteract the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last year’s well-publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr R Reindeer. Furthermore, exclusion of the aforementioned Mr R Reindeer from any games will be considered discriminatory, and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift-bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly The Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines, and all gifts must be registered.

This applies regardless of the individual, even Royal Personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts, such as aromatic resins, which may provoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent instance of an infant found tucked up in a manger without a crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.
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Old 22-12-2011, 16:50   #2
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Re: Guidelines for a Merry Christmas

Excellent!
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Old 22-12-2011, 17:11   #3
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Re: Guidelines for a Merry Christmas

Copied round the office!
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Old 22-12-2011, 17:29   #4
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Re: Guidelines for a Merry Christmas

I just emailed that to my H&S manager ,he wants to know if any special provision for a Mr S Clause should be made re. entry /exit via rooftops and chimneys given his obesity (lifts ,crane or hoists)
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Old 22-12-2011, 17:35   #5
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Re: Guidelines for a Merry Christmas

Quote:
Originally Posted by martyh View Post
I just emailed that to my H&S manager ,he wants to know if any special provision for a Mr S Clause should be made re. entry /exit via rooftops and chimneys given his obesity (lifts ,crane or hoists)
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