Home News Forum Articles
  Welcome back Join CF
You are here You are here: Home | Forum | Man rules


You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most of the discussions, articles and other free features. By joining our Virgin Media community you will have full access to all discussions, be able to view and post threads, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload your own images/photos, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please join our community today.


Welcome to Cable Forum
Go Back   Cable Forum > Cable Forum Basement > Entertainment > Humour

Man rules
Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 15-01-2010, 18:44   #1
Nidge
Guest
 
Location: Sutton in Ashfield.
Services: Virgin, phone and 50meg Broadband.
Posts: n/a
Man rules

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.

Finally , the guys' side of the story.

We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules !
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moonor the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want: Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument..
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat…. you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry: we meant the other
one

1. You can either ask us to do something, Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... R eally .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Shooting
or Cars

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!


  Reply With Quote
Advertisement
Old 15-01-2010, 18:54   #2
martyh
cf.mega poster
 
martyh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: newcastle upon tyne
Age: 47
Services: crappy sky+ tv crappy BT internet and phone still got my VM mobile
Posts: 9,106
martyh has a nice shiny starmartyh has a nice shiny starmartyh has a nice shiny starmartyh has a nice shiny star
martyh has a nice shiny starmartyh has a nice shiny starmartyh has a nice shiny starmartyh has a nice shiny starmartyh has a nice shiny starmartyh has a nice shiny starmartyh has a nice shiny starmartyh has a nice shiny starmartyh has a nice shiny starmartyh has a nice shiny starmartyh has a nice shiny star
Re: Man rules

i just read that to my wife ...bad mistake
martyh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-01-2010, 03:47   #3
Nidge
Guest
 
Location: Sutton in Ashfield.
Services: Virgin, phone and 50meg Broadband.
Posts: n/a
Re: Man rules

Quote:
Originally Posted by martyh View Post
i just read that to my wife ...bad mistake
LOL, glad your still here mate.
  Reply With Quote
Old 16-01-2010, 09:38   #4
joglynne
Posting with Cattitude.
 
joglynne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Manchester.
Services: XL V+, L BB & phone
Posts: 9,354
joglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered stars
joglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered starsjoglynne is seeing silvered stars
Re: Man rules

.. .. Sheer bravado.
__________________
.. .."I purr, therefore I am." ~ Anonypuss
joglynne is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Google Search




All times are GMT +1. The time now is 12:15.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright © 2003 - 2012, Cable Forum.
(server1.cableforum.co.uk)

SEO by vBSEO 3.3.2