Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
22-06-2009, 11:56
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#1
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cf.mega poster
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Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
I've just been sent this and thought it might provide some guidance/answers for a lot of guys (some on here  )
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
"OESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "OESTROGEN ISSUES"
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette
3.. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You 're using your mobile phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 0800-
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colours.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made
1. Other women
@ Admin - I've posted this here as it seemded most appropriate, but feel free to move if it should be somewhere else 
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Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life so spend your time getting wasted and you'll have the time of your life
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22-06-2009, 14:05
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#2
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Re: Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
 It seems I have serious Oestrogen issues.
1,4,6,7, and 9 certainly apply to me.
Where's 8? Cos I think I have that too 
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22-06-2009, 14:37
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#3
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Re: Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
Quote:
Originally Posted by moaningmags
It seems I have serious Oestrogen issues.
1,4,6,7, and 9 certainly apply to me.
Where's 8? Cos I think I have that too |
I didn't even notice there was no No. 8 lol
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Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life so spend your time getting wasted and you'll have the time of your life
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22-06-2009, 14:41
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#4
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Re: Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
It says people with oestrogen issues can't see the number 8.
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Witty and thought provoking signature to follow......
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22-06-2009, 14:43
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#5
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Re: Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
Quote:
Originally Posted by harmitage
It says people with oestrogen issues can't see the number 8. |
Lol, typical.
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R.I.P. Telewest
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22-06-2009, 14:43
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#6
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Posting with Cattitude.
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Re: Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
Quote:
Originally Posted by harmitage
It says people with oestrogen issues can't see the number 8. |
OH a gentleman daring to post on this thread. How brave you are Sir.
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.. .."I purr, therefore I am." ~ Anonypuss
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22-06-2009, 14:44
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#7
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Re: Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
Quote:
Originally Posted by harmitage
It says people with oestrogen issues can't see the number 8. |
None of the oestrogen issues apply to me (and my friends can confirm  )
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Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life so spend your time getting wasted and you'll have the time of your life
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22-06-2009, 15:20
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#8
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Cable Forum Team
Join Date: Dec 2007
Age: 43
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Re: Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
Number 8's so secret only those suffering from it will know..
---------- Post added at 15:20 ---------- Previous post was at 15:19 ----------
Searching on the web for the same rules #8 is:
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
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22-06-2009, 15:29
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#9
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cf.mega poster
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Re: Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kymmy
Searching on the web for the same rules #8 is:
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
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Oh Kymmy - thats just TMI!!!! 
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Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life so spend your time getting wasted and you'll have the time of your life
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22-06-2009, 15:34
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#10
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Cable Forum Team
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
Is that why you left it out??? 
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22-06-2009, 15:38
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#11
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cf.mega poster
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Re: Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kymmy
Is that why you left it out??? |
That was nowt to do with me, I just copy and pasted from an email. But i'm glad in a way someone had removed it
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Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life so spend your time getting wasted and you'll have the time of your life
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22-06-2009, 15:42
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#12
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Cable Forum Team
Join Date: Dec 2007
Age: 43
Posts: 16,278
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Re: Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
We girls can't have it all our own way... I'd rather have posted it than one of the men to have harrsed us once they'd found it
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22-06-2009, 15:45
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#13
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Been around a while ...
Join Date: Feb 2004
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Re: Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
Wouldn't worry, most of the men likely to post something crass in this thread are still firmly convinced that harass is two words.....
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23-06-2009, 14:25
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#14
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cf.mega poster
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Re: Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women
LOL Thats great
I wondered where 8 had gone too, and thought don't say the eyes are knackered too
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