Tech Support has always been around

The tech support problem dates back to long before the industrial revolution, when primitive tribesmen beat out a rhythm on drums to communicate:

Tech Support: Fire help. Me Groog

Lorto: Me Lorto. Help. Fire not work.

Tech Support: You have tinder?

Lorto: Ugh

Tech Support: You have flint and stone?

Lorto: Ugh

Tech Support: You hit them together?

Lorto: Ugh

Tech Support: What happen?

Lorto: Fire not work. Tinder not catch fire.

Tech Support: (sigh) Make spark?

Lorto: Plenty spark, no fire, me confused. Fire work yesterday.

Tech Support: (sigh) You change rock?

Lorto: I change nothing

Tech Support: You sure?

Lorto: Me make one change. Tinder hot yesterday, so today me soak in
stream so not burn Lorto hand. Only small change, shouldn't keep Lorto
from make fire.

*Groog grabs club and goes to Lorto's cave*

*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sometimes think we should be allowed to do that.

[marky]

I cant resist
*CONTAINS FOUL LANGUAGE*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fWpV_6Y_vY

> Dear IT department,
>
> My printer does not work any longer.
>
> What error message did you get?
>
> No error message, my mouse is stuck.
>
> Your mouse is stuck ?
>
> That does not have anything to do with the printer !
>
> Just a moment, let me take a photo.
>
> http://i15.tinypic.com/6cqkrxz.jpg


hope the link works

[Hugh]

And of course, there is always the apocryphal tech support call........

Ring, ring.........
'Hello, Support Desk, may I help you?'

'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

'What sort of trouble?'

'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

'Went away?'

'They disappeared.'

'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

'Nothing.'

'Nothing?'

'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

'How do I tell?'

[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?'

'What's a sea-prompt?'

[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] 'Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?'

'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

[Ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug.] 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'

'What's a monitor?'

[SIGH] 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

'I don't know.'

'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?'

[sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] 'Yes, I think so.'

'Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.'

[pause] 'Yes, it is.'

[Hmm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt s/he would have accidentally turned it off, and I don't want to send him/her hunting for the power switch because I don't know what kind of monitor s/he has and it's bound to have more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.]
'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?'

'No.'

'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

[muffled] 'Okay, here it is.'

'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

[still muffled] 'I can't reach.'

'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?'

[clear again] 'No.'

'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'

'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle--it's because it's dark.'

'Dark?'

'Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'

'Well, turn on the office light then.'

'I can't.'

'No? Why not?'

'Because there's a power outage.'

'A power--!?!' ...[AAAAAAARGH!]

'A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?'

'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

'Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

'Really? Is it that bad?'

'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

'Tell them you're TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!' [slam]

[marky]

You sound stressed, maybe you should go camping

[greencreeper]

I've had some rough calls in my time, but my favourites are the ones where it's some old dear who's well up for it. Had a surgery which was two houses knocked together, but still with two separate sets of electrical circuits. One circuit was down - the one that powered all the comms equipment and server. I gently explained that without power nothing was going to work, and to find an electrician. "Hold on while I get the extension reel", came the reply. And she fed power from one part of the building to the other, bless It was later explained that such events were regular, and said extension reel was kept for such purposes. Or the, "Now, the box with lots of cables going in the front - does that have lots of green lights, and are they flickering or not? Reply: "Er, no - no lights at all. Hang on while I get the ladders...". I do love em. Or the, "Can you see the back of the server?" Reply: "No - needs pulling forward... Ethel? ETHEL? You there? Give us hand with this. You get that end... Oh ****... Sorry, sorry - didn't mean to swear. Just knocked a cup over"