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Christmas humour.
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Old 17-12-2007, 18:52   #1
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Christmas humour.

Got this card today...cheered me up no end.
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Old 18-12-2007, 02:37   #2
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Re: Christmas humour.

LOL! Nice One..
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Old 18-12-2007, 09:34   #3
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Re: Christmas humour.

Anyone else got any Christmas humour to share?
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Old 18-12-2007, 12:25   #4
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Re: Christmas humour.

Attachment 15527

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Old 18-12-2007, 17:30   #5
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Re: Christmas humour.

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Old 18-12-2007, 18:19   #6
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Re: Christmas humour.

Sorry if this one is too rude.

Attachment 15530

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Old 18-12-2007, 19:33   #7
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Re: Christmas humour.

Doggy Christmas
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Old 18-12-2007, 19:34   #8
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Re: Christmas humour.

I thought this might strike a chord...

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Old 18-12-2007, 20:05   #9
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Re: Christmas humour.

Quote:
Originally Posted by foreverwar View Post
I thought this might strike a chord...

superb,how fitting
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Old 18-12-2007, 21:41   #10
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Re: Christmas humour.

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Old 18-12-2007, 23:29   #11
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Re: Christmas humour.

I actually posted this earlier this year. However, this is a more appropriate time to view it:

Attachment 15533

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Old 19-12-2007, 13:00   #12
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Re: Christmas humour.

Found this one

A Microsoft Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
As Papa did last minute Internet shopping.

The stockings were hung by the modem with care
In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of computer games danced in their heads.

PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken for Dan,
And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom,
To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com -

Which has now been re-routed to Washington State
Because Santa's workshop has been bought by Bill Gates.
All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle
To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.

After centuries of a life that was simple and spare,
St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire,
With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh,
And a house on Lake Washington that's just down the way

From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow preens
In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans.
The elves have stock options and desks with a view,
Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.

No more dolls or toy soldiers or little toy drums (ahem - pardon me)
No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums
Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMS
With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive,
From now on Christmas runs only on Win95.

More rapid than eagles the competitors came,
And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
"Now, ADOBE! Now, CLARIS! Now, INTUIT! too,
Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you are all of you through,

It is Microsoft's SANTA that the kids can't resist,
It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist -
Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf,
And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.

Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's scheme,
And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream.
To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!"

And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
The whir and the hum of our satellite platter,

As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,
The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.
As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,
My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.

And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates
Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
And I heard them exclaim in voice so bright,
Have a Microsoft Christmas, and to all a good night.
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Old 19-12-2007, 18:43   #13
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Re: Christmas humour.

Pedro & His Girl

One beautiful December evening Pedro and his Girlfriend Rosita were sitting by the side of the ocean.

It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."

"Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.

"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita

"Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang...

♫ "Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,and a Happy New Year." ♫
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Old 19-12-2007, 18:51   #14
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