Favourite Child

Salu · 21-09-2006, 15:58

For those of you who are parents; do you have a favourite child?

It's very hard being a parent isn't it.....and challenging to be a fair one too. However I've found myself sometimes warming to one of my two children better than the other simply because we seem to "click" more. Now this is entirely natural in the big world out there. We get on with some better than others but the turmoil here is that they are your kids. As a parent I am very aware that kids need to feel that their parents love and attention are equal and of course, they want that equality daily, from biscuits to hugs to presents.....so the net result is that I sometimes feel very guilty that I seem to "click" with one more than the other.

Just to be clear; what I'm talking about here is the inner feelings of the parent rather than the child interpretation of them. We need, as parents to ensure that we show the same love and attention etc to each child....

I use that only as an example as I want the flavour of the thread to be more about the subject than me personally. So have you felt this conflict before? How have you dealt with it? Do you think your kids pick it up etc? How do you deal with the fact that you sometimes may like one child more even though you love them both/all dearly?

Nemesis · 21-09-2006, 16:04

It all depends on what they've done at the time

cuggle · 21-09-2006, 17:26

all 3 of my kids are very different, and at times yes i do favour one or other of them in different ways. I don`t love any of them more or less than the others but in particular my youngest daughter, who is 7 years younger than her nearest sibling, is a daddys girl and we just click.

**Maggy J** · 21-09-2006, 18:54

Whenever either of my two children accused me of treating one different to the other I would agree,pointing out that one was my only daughter and the other was my only son so yes I felt differently about them for that reason.That I loved the eldest because she was the eldest and the bravest and I felt differently about my son because he is my last baby and there won't be any more.

There's more along those lines but to cut the story short I made a virtue of the fact that they were two different people and that I loved them both equally but differently and that dealing with each of them identically wouldn't be right under all circumstances.

Maybe treating our children evenly handed isn't necessary not if we are to encourage individuality in them.

Jules · 21-09-2006, 21:05

I only have 1 son so I couldn't really comment

21-09-2006, 21:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jules

I only have 1 son so I couldn't really comment

same here, but I thought Incog's final paragraph was 'spot on'

**Chris** · 21-09-2006, 21:31

I have one boy and one girl, they are different ages and doing different things. They are doing and learning different things and to cap it all, our younger child is doing things her own way, not the same as her brother did. The two of them are completely different. I don't think I could say that I warm to one more than the other. I am constantly in love with and overawed by them both.

And here they are. How could I choose?

Jules · 21-09-2006, 21:33

Your daughter has grown so quickly and your son looks just like you

Both are beautiful and no I could not pick between them either

Nugget · 21-09-2006, 22:33

As you all know, I'm the same as Gaz and Jules in that I've only got one son. However, I hope that, if we do have more, I'll love the others just as much as I love Baby Nug

Besides, if he ever narks me when he's older, I'll just look back on this photo - how could you be angry with someone who likes his yoghurt this much

cuggle · 21-09-2006, 22:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nugget

As you all know, I'm the same as Gaz and Jules in that I've only got one son. However, I hope that, if we do have more, I'll love the others just as much as I love Baby Nug

Besides, if he ever narks me when he's older, I'll just look back on this photo - how could you be angry with someone who likes his yoghurt this much

thanks for that nugget, now the wife`s all broody after seeing baby nugs pic

**Maggy J** · 21-09-2006, 22:45

The problem is that they grow up.

I bawled the day after my daughter left for university..luckily(or regretfuly in my husbands opinion) my son is not yet ready to leave.

Not that I intend hanging on to him when he finally wnts to leave..my job is done the moment he wants to go.

Nugget · 21-09-2006, 23:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuggle

thanks for that nugget, now the wife`s all broody after seeing baby nugs pic

The pleasure's all mine, my friend - absolutely all mine

Tinky · 22-09-2006, 11:12

Bonnie babes all of them! Little

Two of my brood have flown the nest years ago, but my baby (35) is still at home, left once but came back again! Looking forward to being a GREAT granny in November.

Pia · 22-09-2006, 12:43

When i was little i always used to think everyone preferred my sister to me.
She has dark hair, brown eyes and an italian complexion, and everyone used to say "ooooh isn't she beautiful".

Then they'd look at me, the complete opposite, super-white-blonde hair, blue eyes and pale, chubby face and go "awww isn't she blonde"