How did you know what you wanted to 'be'?

[Pia]

Sorry to start one of these self sympathy threads, but something has been bugging me for ages now and i have been wondering whether to ask here...

Basically, i'm not very happy in my job at the moment.

I left school at 16 with all intention of going to college to study Media Studies, not sure why, iguess the thought of being behind the scenes always appealed to me, i was quite good at english at school, and it was really the only subject i enjoyed, so i would have loved to write articles.

Instead though, i started working at the hotel with my sister, and as soon as i started i knew i wouldn't end up going to college because i'm not much of a 'sit in a classroom' person. So i've been at the hotel ever since...

Thing is though, i've gone through allsorts of emotions in my job, i always want to be good at what i do, so i've been so passionate about what i do. Falling pregnant at 17 kinda ruined any chances of promotion in the hotel and catering industry though, since it's impossible to work the sorts of hours i'd have to as a single parent.

Basically, i'm not going anywhere am i? But i am scared to leave because it's all i know, and doing a job that's more physical than brainwork has shattered my confidence in my own intelligence, and now i'm worried i'm not clever enough to go out there and do a real job. And i just know i won't stick to a college course, i much prefer to work my way up from the bottom, i don't expect to walk into a skilled job without working for it.
I don't want to work in a shop, and be on a checkout or anything like that, i know it sounds snobby, but i've always wanted to be better than i'm expected to be. It's alright working in a hotel because it's a nice place, and it's a lot better than stacking shelves etc..
I wish i could tell people what i do for a living, and them go 'ooh really?!' instead of, 'oh well, you'll make something of yourself one day'.

I feel like i'm having the crisis i should have had about 5 years ago, i just don't have a clue what i want to do with my life. I've been stuck in a bubble for the last 5 years, now i'm 21 and i haven't done anything, job-wise, i've just stuck to what i know and not moved, but i can't do that forever, i'm bored already and i need to gain the courage and confidence to go out and do something to be proud of.
Something that will show the narrow-minded stereotyping morons who expected me to be a nothing all my life because i got knocked up at the age of 17 and left on my own to be a single mother in a council house, that i'm different, and i don't have to sit on my backside letting the government pay my rent, because i've got the brains to do a proper job...

It'd be nice, but what can i do? I have no clue, so basically how the hell do you find that out?

Sorry it's a long post i get carried away sometimes

I didnt know till I found my niche and that wasnt until I was 31
I was a waster when I was young and to a point I still am but im happy enough with who I am now.
Have a look at the local collage see if anything takes your fancy you prob wont know it till you see it

[Pia]

Originally Posted by zinglebarb

I didnt know till I found my niche and that wasnt until I was 31

I know i'm only young yet, but i don't want to be someone who gets stuck in a rut and waste time on doing nothing. I probably will though, i hve all these ideas but never have the courage to actually do it.

Have a look at the local collage see if anything takes your fancy you prob wont know it till you see it

I dunno though, i've tried that, i don't want to spend the next 2 years working my backside off to gain a piece of paper that says i'm skilled to do something. I'd be happier to do it on the job, or at least get a job then take up a part time course around the job. I'm crap at all that school type stuff, i can't sit and write essays about stuff that's probably not even relevant to what i want to do.

[Cobbydaler]

Are you not interested in working your way up in the Hotel/Hospitality business?

You don't say what you are doing now at the hotel, but whatever it is you must have got a good insight into the way the business is run.

Your posts show that you are intelligent, & you say you know you have the brains to get on. Why not approach a manager & ask to be considered when a more demanding role comes up?

Even if you eventually decide you don't like it, it could be a springboard to a job elsewhere...

[superbiatch]

I still don't know what i want to do hun, don't beat yourself up. We put too much pressure on ourselves these days. Remember life is for living as well as working

[Jules]

Sometimes life takes you in a different direction than the one you wanted to go in. My only advice is if you want something go for it as life is too short not to

[Pia]

Originally Posted by Cobbydaler

Are you not interested in working your way up in the Hotel/Hospitality business?

You don't say what you are doing now at the hotel, but whatever it is you must have got a good insight into the way the business is run.

Your posts show that you are intelligent, & you say you know you have the brains to get on. Why not approach a manager & ask to be considered when a more demanding role comes up?

Even if you eventually decide you don't like it, it could be a springboard to a job elsewhere...

The thing is though, i know that working my way up would be no good, no junior managers or supervisors there get to work set days, or even just all days. All the hours there are ones that wouldn't work with nursery, so that's pretty much the only reason i'm still at the bottom.
I'm satisfied enough to know i could have worked my way up, and i know i can do the supervisors jobs better than most of them, that's my only positive lol.

The hotel and catering industry is so fickle, i want something different, even if it's just to try it. I waited ages to get my set days doing what i do, and it's not even my favourite part of the job but i have to do it. I work in the restaurant/bars and do quite a bit of other stuff aswell.
I've thought about most things that i could consider wanting to do, but i'm scared that none of them will give me the passion that i've had out of my current job.
I suppose i get a kick out of knowing my job better than most, and knowing everything about the place, as silly as it sounds.

[Stuart]

Originally Posted by Pia

I dunno though, i've tried that, i don't want to spend the next 2 years working my backside off to gain a piece of paper that says i'm skilled to do something. I'd be happier to do it on the job, or at least get a job then take up a part time course around the job. I'm crap at all that school type stuff, i can't sit and write essays about stuff that's probably not even relevant to what i want to do.

Maybe there are courses you can do with "on-they-job" training.

When I was around your age (actually, the whole period between the ages of 17 and 24), I had a vague idea I wanted to get into computers, but wasn't really qualified (like you, I couldn't see the point). I had a succession of dead end and boring jobs (all basically office work), and kept being made redundant. Put it this way, my history was so bad that when I took a year out from Uni to work in industry, the placement officer the Uni assigned to me took one look at my CV and told me to stick with a job when I left uni, as it looked like I couldn't hold down a job.

The course I did was a degree, and was what they called a "sandwich" course. Baiscally, we did 2 years of study, then took a year out to work in industry, then a further year of study.

The degree was very hard work, but, IMO, it was the best career decision I have ever made, and as a result, I have been in the same job for 8 years and still love it (most of the time).

I'm not saying a degree (or any course) is right for everyone. It's not. It's something that may be worth investigating though.

[Pia]

Originally Posted by superbiatch

I still don't know what i want to do hun, don't beat yourself up. We put too much pressure on ourselves these days. Remember life is for living as well as working

I know you're right, i am totally beating myself up, but it's just cos for all the times i've wanted to actually do something scary, i always have an excuse. 'I've just had a baby', or 'he's just started nursery', or 'i'll see what the new manager is like first before i go'.... the list goes on, i always have an excuse for not doing something i want to do, and i'm fighting a battle with myself to do it. It's like one side of me is saying, 'yeah go on you can do it, go for it, do something outside your comfort zone'. Then the other side is saying, 'no don't leave, you can't do any better than this...'

Originally Posted by Jules

Sometimes life takes you in a different direction than the one you wanted to go in. My only advice is if you want something go for it as life is too short not to

I suppose it'd help if i know what i was going for, then the next step would to to go for it!

[Halcyon]

Hi Pia,

I know it must not have been easy for you.
Have a look to find out if any colleges offer part time courses.
Some universities offer courses where you can study part time especially designed for peopple with young children.

Going into a jobs agency or the job centre and talking to one of the advisors is probably a good idea too. They could guide you on what options are available to you and how you could get to where you would like to be...or offer you a new direction in to what you would like to do.

Good luck...and I hope all works out for you.

[Ramrod]

Originally Posted by Cobbydaler

Are you not interested in working your way up in the Hotel/Hospitality business?

The hotel business is really cr*ppy.....long hours, funny shifts and bad pay. You can't really work up very far in it unless you have some sort of management qualifications (iirc)

[Pia]

Originally Posted by Stuart C

The course I did was a degree, and was what they called a "sandwich" course. Baiscally, we did 2 years of study, then took a year out to work in industry, then a further year of study.

That does sound like hard work! When i read stuff like that i automatically go 'nah not my cuppa tea at all'.
All i want is a job where i know i won't be stuck at one level, i want a job that's not too out of my depth, intelligence-wise, but one with prospects.
I don't want a lot, do i

[Ramrod]

Originally Posted by Pia

I suppose it'd help if i know what i was going for, then the next step would to to go for it!

What qualifications do you have?

[fireman328]

My Dad was a fireman so it was inevitable what I was going to do. I had a grammar school education but as you had to be 18 yrs. to join the brigade I got a job as an aerial rigger for 2 years until I joined at 18. I was the youngest recruit Oldham had ever had. When the fire services amalgamated in 1974 I was a posted as a recruit training officer for Greater Manchester Fire Service out posted to Washington Hall in Chorley. My late wife was a senior social worker and got a job in Surrey and I transferred to London Fire Brigade. Went through the ranks, got a degree, promotions followed to senior ranks. I had a number of service injuries and failed the annual medical and took early retirement. I then took a post in the NHS as a fire safety manager.
What all this waffle boils down to is I had mapped my course through life and stuck to it more or less.

[Pia]

Originally Posted by Ramrod

The hotel business is really cr*ppy.....long hours, funny shifts and bad pay. You can't really work up very far in it unless you have some sort of management qualifications (iirc)

All true, except you can work your way up, and do managerial courses on the job. However, that's how most of the monkeys get their manager jobs and half the time are not qualified.
I find the brown tongues and the blaggers are the ones who work their way up the easiest in this trade. I'm neither, just hard-working and passionate, but that wouldn't make for a very happy future for me even if i did get high up, because i'm too opinionated and not prepared to kiss ass.