Advice Need

[cnewton2k]

Hi All

I have come to respect the advice of the people on here and would a like a little bit of advice on a problem i have !!

I have included a word document which i am gonna send as a letter to my mum.

Now me and mum ain't got a long for a very long time and i want to try and change that now and i would like your opinions on it.

Now please no flaming or anything, just advice, this is a subject very close to my heart and it hurts very much.

Thanks

Carl

[Druchii]

I don't know what to say, other than i personally think it's a well-rounded and straight to the point letter. Which, in my opinion is a good thing.

I would however, consider proof-reading it, as "repect" should be "respected" and "yak" should be "ya".

[Tinky]

Hi Carl,
I am sorry you have this problem with is obviously causing you a great deal of angst. Why do you have to write to your Mum, can't you talk to her either face to face or by phone? or even take her out for a meal and have a quite chat about how you feel. If this is out the question, have you asked yourself why she treats you differently from your brothers? I have read your profile and there is a tiny clue there, how does your Mum feel about you being gay? Also in your letter, you say that when you were 'inside' you kept in touch, so that could be something else she finds hard to accept/holds against you. Without knowing the full story it is difficuly to offer any advice. Back to the letter, I would suggest deleting the second part of the first sentence, about not writing again, and begin with Dear Mum, it's a start. Hope this helps, good luck!

[lauzjp]

Hi Carl, I hope you can resolve the issues with your mum - I find it easier to write down thoughts and feelings as opposed to face to face contact, but I agree with Tinky - how about taking her out for a meal? That way, she hopefully won't want to cause a public scene and will be civil at least, and also - you've got to treat her like a mum too... If you just stick with the letter, I would suggest you read and re-read it and make sure its what you want to say / do before you pass it on. It's one thing to write down your feelings, quite another thing to start the chain of events.

Hi mate, she must have said some very harsh words for you to type a letter like that, mums are one in a million I have a mum who is one in a million it's a shame yours has turned against you, I read that you have 2 other brothers, by the looks of it she treats you all different where as she should treat you all the same no matter what you have done or what job you do. She might come round in time you never know, just keep your chin up mate and carry on as before.

Nidge.

[Dan_Sette]

No one is going to flame you for asking advice. Yes, we can all be cantankerous buggers when we get into a debate, but at the bottom of it all we are all mates on here, with a common interest.

I sincerely hope you work things out with you Mum, Carl. That you are extending the branch of peace is an important first step.

If the hurt runs deep on both sides don't expect an instant fix. Take it slowly and don't give up. The more you approach, being reasonable, will give your Mum the chance to come round.

How do you get on with your brothers? As people have said, a meeting on neutral ground, is a good idea. Could you brothers help with the meeting, maybe one of them being there for the first time?

I hope that things work the way you want. And wish you all the best. I takes a lot of courage to open up the way you have and shows just how close to your heart this is.

Many on here will be routing for you.

Good luck.

Steve.