Time to get married

Halcyon · 09-08-2006, 14:30

Recently I have been talking to friends and many of them are getting married.
Weddings seem to be popular in the summer.
OrangeBird seems to be getting married too so good luck to her.
Anyway, my question is to those who are married already or who are thinking about getting married.
How long do you think you should be together before popping the question to get married ?
Some people say years and some people say just a few months.
Would you think it's better to get things sorted quickly to show your love and commitment or wait and see if you truly get on together ?
How many years would you stay dating before getting married ?

r1ch · 09-08-2006, 14:35

It varies so much... you've just gotta go with when it feels right. Personally I got married almost a year ago after we'd been together about 10 years, living together about 3.

danielf · 09-08-2006, 14:38

I'd say there is no need to rush. I got married after being together nine years and living together for 4. We didn't make a big deal of it either. We had two guests, and informed our parents after the deed

I'm sure others will think differently.

Halcyon · 09-08-2006, 14:49

I guess everyone is different and should take their own time.
Sometimes I think I'd love to get married as soon as I could, but then again building up time together before gettting married is also something I'd like to do.
I guess what would worry me is that I want to get married for life and would not want to look back in a few years and realise I made a mistake and divorce.

fireman328 · 09-08-2006, 15:17

Dont go !!!!!! its a trap (lol)

09-08-2006, 15:19

Why not just go up to a total stranger as that is what the new spouse will become anyway and just give them half of everything you own, house / money / car / pension, then move into a flat that is way to small and fall out with half your family and friends.

Do it now and save yourself the bother of yrs of back bitting and sleeping with one eye open incase they try and do a ice pick job on you in the night..

Some of you may think I am bitter and twisted...

And you would be correct. lol

**Maggy J** · 09-08-2006, 15:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halcyon

I guess everyone is different and should take their own time.
Sometimes I think I'd love to get married as soon as I could, but then again building up time together before gettting married is also something I'd like to do.
I guess what would worry me is that I want to get married for life and would not want to look back in a few years and realise I made a mistake and divorce.

Take your time.Save up your money,get secure jobwise and homewise and then see where you are.Be young while you can.I knew my husband for 4 years before we married..been married 34 years last month.We didn't marry until I had completed all my education and he had finished all his training and both had jobs.

To be honest only you can decide.Yes it's a risk but life is a risk anyway.The thing is to try and be sure that you could spend 5+,10+,20+ etc with the SAME person.If you can then go for it.IF you have ANY doubts don't get married.

monkey2468 · 09-08-2006, 16:13

I have been with my wife for 9 years, and married for 2 of them. We had been living together for 7 years, and a year before we got married we bought a house and had our 1st child. So really getting married was just an expensive formality. (in my eye's)(hope the wife doesn't read this!!)

spiderplant · 09-08-2006, 20:30

We were together 8 years before she asked.

Can't imagine what took her so long

kronas · 09-08-2006, 20:35

in my opinion there are a few things you need to do before you decide.

think long and hard about what it is you want out of the relationship, you need to 'feel' each other out, ask about children, the future, etc

you need to share common ground

the other thing is live together before you propose, seriously living with each other is totally diffarent to just 'meeting up' there can be alot of diffarences between how two people are percieved as living, one can be messier than the other, annoying habits, poor hygene

make sure you have been together for a while, id say anything over 2-3 years is acceptable, anything less your asking for trouble.

and whatever you do, do NOT have a child too early, in a relationship, it just messes things up alot easier..

09-08-2006, 21:14

its all down to mthe people involved.

There is no right time.
I proposed after 6 months, whilst on holiday in Zante. That was 2003. I got married on 10th June this year. We met on t'internet and have never argued with each other.

I know poeple that hav elived together for over 10 years got married and divorced within a year.

Its a commitment, dont do it unless you want it, not because you feel its trendy to do it.

Speak to your partner, after all, you dont have to surprise her with the question.

punky · 09-08-2006, 21:29

Just hope t'missus don't see this.

danielf · 09-08-2006, 21:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by punky

Just hope t'missus don't see this.

PM sent

Jules · 09-08-2006, 21:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by gaffer_gump

Why not just go up to a total stranger as that is what the new spouse will become anyway and just give them half of everything you own, house / money / car / pension

I will email you my address

lol

Each to there own what works for one couple may not work for the next, there is never a right or wrong way to getting married

kronas · 09-08-2006, 21:36

there is always arranged marriage, you just tough it out, for the rest of yor life