My Teenage Stalker.....lol

[Pia]

Okay let me set the scenario for you...

There's loads of kids round here, all kinds of ages, and because my house is in the middle of the green they all tend to congregate round here, which i don't mind cos they're aged between 3-9, so are a lot more pleasant to have hanging around than those 10 years older...

Anyway, my little lad likes to play out on his scooter and last year we got quite pally with the neighbours kids, there's 5 of them and they are probably the only non-chavs round here so i spent a lot of time on the green with them last summer.

Their older brother is 13 and he'd come out and sit with us, which was nice cos it was someone a bit older for me to talk to while i watch my little lad playing out.

Anyway, all the kids are nice as pie and the older lad would do jobs for me like take the bin bags out and go to the shop etc...

Now all of a sudden he's a bit of a chav-wannabe and tarted texting me asking me to download some rave chav style music, and i was like errrr no i'm not having that rubbish infecting my PC lol

He's turned a bit nasty now and is totally plaguing me with texts and just generally being a pile of turd, playing knocky-hide-o and stuff like that.
I went to speak to his mother about it and she seemed to think it's cos he might have a bit of a crush on me
Anyway it seemed to stop for a while, after the initial "fine i won't speak to you ever again" tantrum style texts.
Now he's started up again grrrrrr.

It doesn't bother me too much with the texting, cos my phone's always beeping anyway, i just don't ever reply to him. But it does my head in because everytime i'm out in the garden or something, i get texts saying 'what are you doing that for', or 'is the BBQ nice'... Stalker or what?!!

He's always looking out of the window and that's what pees me off, he can text all he wants but i'd quite like to hang out my washing wearing my pj's if i feel like it without him telling me he knows...etc...

He's 14 now, so should i go mental and make it seem really serious to his mother, or do i just humour him and hope he gets bored?!

Pretty long post^^

[Druchii]

So, as i was saying, how was that BBQ?... MAybe that was a bad choice of joke...

Seriously at 14 i started having crushes on alot of people, usually only lasting a week or so at a time, but that does get annoying, may i ask how he ended up with your number in the first place? That may well have been your first and only mistake...

Leave it a few more days then go ballistic, but he's much more likely just to get bored of it and move along sson enough.

Good Luck Pia.

[Chicken]

Print all the messages out in large text and post them on convenient lamposts outside his house.

[Pia]

Yeah i was thinking he'd get bored soon too!

He's got my number cos i couldn't find my phone one day so i used his to ring it, and he saved it from the dialled calls list. I don't really care about people having my number, it's not like it's the landline or anything, but it's doing my head in when i'm in the garden and he listens to me on the phone and stuff!

Oh and the BBQ was deeelish

[Druchii]

Ahh, he'll be bored soon then i hope

Kind of strange to save it from the dialled calls list though if he didn't really need to contact you... Kids eh?

Can't believe i said that...

[punky]

I'd say you've been more than patient and self-restraining with him. All boys do have crushes on older women from time to time when they are young. (some still do ) Its all innocent and natural, but if he is watching your every move then that has turned from something harmless into something more sinister.

I'd go to his mother. Don't be worried or upset if she plays it down to you. As another woman, I am sure she'd share your concerns. No woman (or man either) should be made to feel uncomfortable at the hands (or eyes) of someone else. Also, as a mother she wouldn't want this to escalate as he is getting to the age soon where he should be starting to form healthy relationships.

If you can live with it, its tempting to ignore it, because a confrontation could harm your relationship with this family. However, if he is behaving unacceptably, then not acting could mean your minor problem could become someone else's major problem.

I was 14 once upon a time, and looking back I don't think what you are saying is acceptable to someone of that age. Plus at 14, whilst still a child, isn't really a kid. In less than 2 years he's supposed to have the maturity to decide wether to smoke or have sex. Also at the age of 10 he's supposed to know right from wrong, and what he's doing is probably considered criminal.

I'd try and work through it with his mother as calmly as you can. If you don't, then you don't know how worse it can get, or long it can go on for. You or someone else could regret it.

Originally Posted by Pia

Okay let me set the scenario for you...

There's loads of kids round here, all kinds of ages, and because my house is in the middle of the green they all tend to congregate round here, which i don't mind cos they're aged between 3-9, so are a lot more pleasant to have hanging around than those 10 years older...

Anyway, my little lad likes to play out on his scooter and last year we got quite pally with the neighbours kids, there's 5 of them and they are probably the only non-chavs round here so i spent a lot of time on the green with them last summer.

Their older brother is 13 and he'd come out and sit with us, which was nice cos it was someone a bit older for me to talk to while i watch my little lad playing out.

Anyway, all the kids are nice as pie and the older lad would do jobs for me like take the bin bags out and go to the shop etc...

Now all of a sudden he's a bit of a chav-wannabe and tarted texting me asking me to download some rave chav style music, and i was like errrr no i'm not having that rubbish infecting my PC lol

He's turned a bit nasty now and is totally plaguing me with texts and just generally being a pile of turd, playing knocky-hide-o and stuff like that.
I went to speak to his mother about it and she seemed to think it's cos he might have a bit of a crush on me
Anyway it seemed to stop for a while, after the initial "fine i won't speak to you ever again" tantrum style texts.
Now he's started up again grrrrrr.

It doesn't bother me too much with the texting, cos my phone's always beeping anyway, i just don't ever reply to him. But it does my head in because everytime i'm out in the garden or something, i get texts saying 'what are you doing that for', or 'is the BBQ nice'... Stalker or what?!!

He's always looking out of the window and that's what pees me off, he can text all he wants but i'd quite like to hang out my washing wearing my pj's if i feel like it without him telling me he knows...etc...

He's 14 now, so should i go mental and make it seem really serious to his mother, or do i just humour him and hope he gets bored?!

Pretty long post^^

Send him one of them nasty phone calls that advertise in the paper. A mate of mine sent me one last year he got me going for over a week with it. They cost you £2 but it's well spent.

---------- Post added at 06:02 ---------- Previous post was at 06:01 ----------

Originally Posted by punky

I'd say you've been more than patient and self-restraining with him. All boys do have crushes on older women from time to time when they are young. (some still do ) Its all innocent and natural, but if he is watching your every move then that has turned from something harmless into something more sinister.

I'd go to his mother. Don't be worried or upset if she plays it down to you. As another woman, I am sure she'd share your concerns. No woman (or man either) should be made to feel uncomfortable at the hands (or eyes) of someone else. Also, as a mother she wouldn't want this to escalate as he is getting to the age soon where he should be starting to form healthy relationships.

If you can live with it, its tempting to ignore it, because a confrontation could harm your relationship with this family. However, if he is behaving unacceptably, then not acting could mean your minor problem could become someone else's major problem.

I was 14 once upon a time, and looking back I don't think what you are saying is acceptable to someone of that age. Plus at 14, whilst still a child, isn't really a kid. In less than 2 years he's supposed to have the maturity to decide wether to smoke or have sex. Also at the age of 10 he's supposed to know right from wrong, and what he's doing is probably considered criminal.

I'd try and work through it with his mother as calmly as you can. If you don't, then you don't know how worse it can get, or long it can go on for. You or someone else could regret it.

I had a crush on a women across the road when I was 13, I think she was 30 but she looked mighty fine, if you seen her now you'd run a mile

---------- Post added at 06:08 ---------- Previous post was at 06:02 ----------

Originally Posted by Pia

He's 14 now, so should i go mental and make it seem really serious to his mother, or do i just humour him and hope he gets bored?!

On a serious note I'd humour him, he's only 14 if he's anything like I was when I was 14 he'll be getting a buldge in his pants when the local news is on He's just going through one of them stages we all go through when we grow up. I understand where you are coming from though it's like he's invading your privacy which for a woman can be quite daunting.

[Halcyon]

Yeah I'd agree that he is going through the stage in life where he thinks every women he sees is so hot he wants to rip her clothes off. Just a normal horny teenager.
However, it does seem like he is a little over the top with what he is doing.
Maybe just having a quiet word with him and telling him you are flattered but are not interested could work.
And if things did get a lot worse, warn him that you will go to the police, which might calm him down a bit.
Good luck.

[Pia]

I've tried the police threaten thing already, when i went to his mother the first time she told him i was thinking about it.

Oh and that £2 phone thing, he has loads of different sim cards he uses up the free messages on them and goes to the next so i never have the number.

What annoys me aswell, is that when i see him and the others in the street, he'll go and hide and the others will act normal, but later on i'll get a text about it

[JediMaster]

Morrning Pia

What a Nightmare you have....... I take it there is no Man in the house (yours or His)?

Personally I would play it either way....

1) Put it in writing what he has done, how offten he texts & save the Numbers for future proof if needbe. Then keep a mini diary on paper & either send a copy to his Mum... (keeping the Original) Say if this does not stop you may seek leagal advice.

I bet some days it must worry you or upset you.

2) Does He / His Mum live in a Private house? or Rented/Council. Maybe tell them you will inform the Landlord or Council about his behaviour.

3) Play him at his own GAME lol...... After every Text, he sends you send him ones back saying I'm watching U.... Or better still plaster his Numbers around town in Phone Boxes Revenge is Sweet

4) Pile on the weight, dress like a old woman & he'll soon get board of you.


The thing you should remember to tell him Mum, if it was the other way around, would she be happy you texting him every day saying I am watching you, Is the BBQ nice.........

Remember, chin up & DON'T let him WIN

[ikthius]

Originally Posted by Pia

<snip>
knocky-hide-o and stuff like that.
<snip>

sorry pia would not have a clue on how to handle youngesters......

but I found it funny that you called that game knocky-hide-o
we called it chap-door-run-away

ik

1) Put it in writing what he has done, how offten he texts & save the Numbers for future proof if needbe. Then keep a mini diary on paper & either send a copy to his Mum... (keeping the Original) Say if this does not stop you may seek leagal advice.

Spot on advice

[Russ]

Originally Posted by JediMaster

3) Play him at his own GAME lol...... After every Text, he sends you send him ones back saying I'm watching U....

IMO that's possibly the worst thing she could do - he's likely to take her reaction as an encouragement or as responding to his requests for attention.

Bad bit of advice there I feel.

Originally Posted by RussD

Bad bit of advice there I feel.

I think he's joking Russ.

[Russ]

Certainly hope so!