Age Gap Relationships

Halcyon · 06-05-2006, 11:42

I was wondering what people thought of age gap relationships.
Obviously I'm not talking about anything illegal, but I mean between adults, for example a girl that is 22 with a 38 year old guy.
Or equally the other way round....where the girl is older than the guy.
Do you think these relationships can be successful ?
Would you draw the line at a certain age gap ?
I have been speaking to friends and they tend to think it sometimes will work but often will not.
I guess it would depend on how mature each person is in the relationship and how strong you have feelings.

Will be interesting to hear your views.

Jules · 06-05-2006, 11:49

It all depends on the people involved and I suppose to some extent how big the age gap is. My partner is younger than me by 8 years and it works for us mainly because I have a young outlook and he is a old fart

**Russ** · 06-05-2006, 11:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halcyon

Obviously I'm not talking about anything illegal, but I mean between adults, for example a girl that is 22 with a 38 year old guy.

When I was 28 I was going out with a girl who was 20 - she had a thing for older blokes and eventually dumped me for 36 year old guy.

I told her it wouldn't work, she just wrote my opinion off as sour grapes, and to an extent maybe it was. But I was right - they split up a few months later.

Obviouslt there are expections but I believe the closer in age 2 people are, the more chance they have of having things in common and therefore having the relationship succeed.

Also I think the options in this poll are too restrictive - you should have an option for 'sometimes'.

Escapee · 06-05-2006, 11:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halcyon

I was wondering what people thought of age gap relationships.
Obviously I'm not talking about anything illegal, but I mean between adults, for example a girl that is 22 with a 38 year old guy.
Or equally the other way round....where the girl is older than the guy.
Do you think these relationships can be successful ?
Would you draw the line at a certain age gap ?
I have been speaking to friends and they tend to think it sometimes will work but often will not.
I guess it would depend on how mature each person is in the relationship and how strong you have feelings.

Will be interesting to hear your views.

I have mainly had relationships with women either no more than a few years younger, or a few years older. I did have a relationship with one who was 10 years younger, she was 28 and I was 38 at the time and there wasn't really a problem with the age difference.

I am now 40 and recently turned down a 19 year old, I think the bottom line was her immaturity and that she probably wanted more than what she was asking for. (I thought why bother, because the age difference is too great) I find a big difference is women who have reached their late 30's or into their 40's know exactly what they want.

I guess I wouldn't consider a large age gap relationship if I was looking for a long term relationship, although someone upto 10 years younger would be acceptable.

Any takers

PS: The 19 year old barmaid asked me last night if I liked her new hair cut/perm whatever. I said "Yes you look very sh*gable, like Debbie Harry" she said "WHO" I said "Blondie" she replied "WHO"
Just goes to prove what Russ is saying about things in common with people closer to your own age!

dilligaf1701 · 06-05-2006, 11:55

Indeed - I'd have to vote for 'sometimes'... I know a couple where 'she' is 26 and 'he' is 62 and they get on just great. But I also know a fair few people who've had an age gap relationship and it hasn't worked out. My last relationship had a 10yr gap that was ok and we didn't split up 'cos of that.

Angua · 06-05-2006, 11:58

My dad was older than my mum by 19 years, I am older than my husband (not by much though) and I worked with a lady who was some 15 years older than her fella and they were very happy.

Like all relationships, co-operation, consideration and compromise will see you through.

Jules · 06-05-2006, 11:59

As a follow up to my first post my ex hubby was 12 older than me which wouldn't have been a problem if he had not been a nutter

Halcyon · 06-05-2006, 12:01

I think it certainly has a lot to do with how mature a person is.
I used to go for people younger than me but recently this year have started finding girls my own age just annoying and not as committed to a relationship.
I find it easier talking to someone older too.

The thing I have found is how some people tend to think it's wrong instantly.
In my case it's also less heard of as normally it is the guy who is older and typically attracts girls who want a stable life with an older man with money, etc. For me it's the other way round and I'm the young guy.
I've been worried about telling certain people as I'm unsure of what they'll think, but at the end of the day it's only the two of you that know how you both feel I guess.

---------- Post added at 12:01 ---------- Previous post was at 12:00 ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angua

Like all relationships, co-operation, consideration and compromise will see you through.

Definately agree with that.

**Russ** · 06-05-2006, 12:02

I think money also has a part to play. It's amazing how a 21 year old woman can suddenly find a 60 year old man attractive when she discovers he's a millionaire on the quiet...

Halcyon · 06-05-2006, 12:05

Very true, unfortunately money does tend to sway some people.
But then I'd wonder if they were truly happy if money was the only factor tying them together.

smicer07 · 06-05-2006, 12:16

I'm 27 and have been seeing a girl who is almost 19. I'm more bothered about the age difference as her, she seems to think it won't be a problem but I'm not too sure...

Slyder · 06-05-2006, 12:25

When I was 20, I was seeing some girl who was 33 (she told me she was 30 - but I found out the truth at later time)

In short I had to give her the elbow - the woman was just to serious about life and a born liar.

Shaun · 06-05-2006, 12:32

I'm 24 (25 next month) and my other half is 33. We've been together 6 years, so it looks like my vote goes in the sometimes box!

Jules · 06-05-2006, 12:34

Can some one change my vote to sometimes etc as that was added after I voted....thanks

Chimaera · 06-05-2006, 12:43

Well my last partner was 9 years older than me and and right old fart!

Paul is 15 years younger than me and I must admit I did worry about the age gap at first, but as people don't point and stare at us when we are out, I guess we don't look odd or anything!
Both families are ok with it (even my 2 daughters), so I would say it depends on the couple involved - it works for some and not for others.