Pucker up and blow....

Help for a very important blow job needed for two desperate women!!

Our manager has left us for the morning to set up a variety of displays in our library and postgraduate centre for National Electronic Library for Health Awareness Week.... and while everything else is going to plan, our blowing skills are letting us down and we've not managed to get any work done through laughing so much at our attempts to inflate the long cylindrical balloons... all the others are fine.... but we have many more long ones than round ones... and we are now out of puff and totally redfaced
The sounds of huffing, pfft squeaky sounds and subsequent hysterical giggles that are coming from our office are drawing the wrong kind of attention... Numpy, my colleague, has just suggested that it may be because of our "getting older and our losing the elasticity of our lips"... that is a direct quote :p

So.... anyone care to give tips to two women on how to inflate the long cylindrical balloons though only the use of our lips?
Rubbing them between our palms to get them warmer... and even placing them against hot coffee mugs have been tried.... but we still can't get them up

Any tips? bearing in mind that our manager the Frick Monster will be back in a matter of hours and this should all be completed by then.

[downquark1]

Innuendo overload

Originally Posted by downquark1

Innuendo overload

but can you believe it's TRUE!!!! was going to add that we're both actually better at sucking than blowing.... thanks to McD's milkshakes and my being a smoker but that would have really made a mockery of my request

Just to add.... we've tried stretching them too.... but nothing's happening

[Dooby]

was going to suggest stretching them but you say you have tried that...
have you stretched them 'widthwise'? ( ass opposed to just lengthwise... ) apparantly width is better...

[Dooby]

oh, and have you contemplated getting some kind of mechanical device to help you out? ( a bicycle pump would do )

[Nemesis]

A swift short 'blow' to get it to respond closely follwed by a long hard breath to get it 'erect' . Don't forget to tie off the base or the erection will be shortlived. Not that I believe you've ever experienced that problem before

[bopdude]

Hi kink, long time no see. you could try filling them with hot water by stretching the neck over the tap head and filling slowly then let the water out of course !!!!

And this thread should make it clear to all women the need to keep on practicing *ahem " blowing skills

But really the long ones are said to be " the hardest to get up "
but are well worth it *ahem, in the end ( so i've been told ) lol

Hope you suckceed in your your quest :p

Originally Posted by Dooby

was going to suggest stretching them but you say you have tried that...
have you stretched them 'widthwise'? ( ass opposed to just lengthwise... ) apparantly width is better...

Numpy says YES!!!! the stretching it width wise has got a response!!!! she's now got it a little of the way.... but says that she can't maintain it she has now left it slightly inflated... but can't keep up the amount of puffing that is required.

Yes!! i do realise how this might sound like a bit of a wind up.... but it isn't

Originally Posted by Dooby

oh, and have you contemplated getting some kind of mechanical device to help you out? ( a bicycle pump would do )

Yes thanks.... i did ask the Frick Monster to supply us with a pump when he bought them... but DOH!!!! he didn't but then he can do it relatively well

Originally Posted by bopdude

Hi kink, long time no see. you could try filling them with hot water by stretching the neck over the tap head and filling slowly then let the water out of course !!!!

.......[snippity snipped]Hope you suckceed in your your quest :p

I'm going to try that now Bop Thank you

Funny that.... not many suggestions to help.... which is strange... given that there are lots of people full of hot air on here


Thanks heaps so far... but looks like we might have to dump the long balloons which is a shame.... because we were planning a little surprise for the Frick Monster on his return.... well this is a Medical Information Centre.... some anatomically correct display features would have made the event much more interesting :p

[Paul]

Are there no oxygen bottles in your hospital or failling that blokes wandering around with nothing to do? Tell them its a contest to impress She who wishes to rename anonymous

Originally Posted by Paul

Are there no oxygen bottles in your hospital or failling that blokes wandering around with nothing to do? Tell them its a contest to impress Linda

And the NHS has oxygen to waste on balloons? Afraid not.....
Blokes to do it?
Mentioning Numpy's name?

But thank you... i think lol

So far.... a vaguely enlarged cylindrical balloon has been created.... the only problem is... that if downquark was worried about the innuendo earlier, then the extra large cumberland sausage shaped balloon in a display would be even worse

Still waiting for Numpy to return with news of the hot water in the balloon...

[Paul]

You and cumberland sausages
I'm sure you ladies will get it done, hope you take a pic when its finished LOL

Originally Posted by kink

Help for a very important blow job needed for two desperate women!!

Our manager has left us for the morning to set up a variety of displays in our library and postgraduate centre for National Electronic Library for Health Awareness Week.... and while everything else is going to plan, our blowing skills are letting us down and we've not managed to get any work done through laughing so much at our attempts to inflate the long cylindrical balloons... all the others are fine.... but we have many more long ones than round ones... and we are now out of puff and totally redfaced
The sounds of huffing, pfft squeaky sounds and subsequent hysterical giggles that are coming from our office are drawing the wrong kind of attention... Numpy, my colleague, has just suggested that it may be because of our "getting older and our losing the elasticity of our lips"... that is a direct quote :p

So.... anyone care to give tips to two women on how to inflate the long cylindrical balloons though only the use of our lips?
Rubbing them between our palms to get them warmer... and even placing them against hot coffee mugs have been tried.... but we still can't get them up

Any tips? bearing in mind that our manager the Frick Monster will be back in a matter of hours and this should all be completed by then.

LOL Why do u buy a foot pump, make blowing up balloons a lot easier!!!

blow them up until your struggling. How the end between your thumb and finger and squeeze it with the other hand. (sounds like that would feel good!!) Hopefully you'll squeeze the air and stretch the balloon. Then add more air and repeat if required.

[Stuart C]

Originally Posted by kink

And the NHS has oxygen to waste on balloons? Afraid not.....
Blokes to do it?

Qxygen tends to be slightly explosive if handled incorrectly (IIRC).

Anyway, you mean you can't find a handy bloke to help you?

I would offer, but am a bit too far away..

Originally Posted by kink

Help for a very important blow job needed for two desperate women!! ...So.... anyone care to give tips to two women on how to inflate the long cylindrical balloons though only the use of our lips?
Rubbing them between our palms to get them warmer... and even placing them against hot coffee mugs have been tried.... but we still can't get them up Any tips? bearing in mind that our manager the Frick Monster will be back in a matter of hours and this should all be completed by then.

This post must be one of the most fascinating posts this year, there ought to be a prize for it.