Ladies - opinions please.

**Russ** · 03-01-2006, 13:29

Open to the fellas too of course...

I've been bought a month's fee membership to the gym in Port Talbot's Aquadome so my mate Carl and I went at midday.

OK you're not supposed to letch or anything but you'd have to be blind not to notice other people there - and I noticed 2 women (initially the only women there) I used to work with so I went over to chat as I'd not seen them in ages. They mentioned they'd "pigged out" over Christmas and wanted to lose some lard.

After a few minutes Carl wandered over and being the forward character he is, introduced himself to them. He then said to one of them "Why do you go to the gym? You've got the perfect shape".

Steph, the girl he was referring to seemed a bit shocked at that and said "ok, see you later" and the both of them wandered over to the equipment and carried on with their workout.

Other than thinking Carl was being a bit too forward (which is usually his nature) I didn't worry about it.

When we left, one of the instructors came over and said words to the effect of "Lads, I know you're knew here but we've had a complaint of inappropriate behaviour involving you both - the complainant doesn't want to take it further so we'll say no more, this is just a heads-up".

Apart from being a bit annoyed that I was dragged in to it, I was a little taken aback that Steph had felt this way about his comment.

But then I started thinking, was he comment offensive or inappropriate? He later told me he didn't mean it to sound as if he was letching, it was meant as a kind of compliment that she didn't look as if she had any need to lose weight.

Apologies for using labels, but is this a case of one sex saying one thing and the other sex hearing something different?

Saaf_laandon_mo · 03-01-2006, 13:33

Im not a lady but I'm gonna comment anyway... I think Steph was a bit out of order by actually reporting it. I think compliments, however cheeky are always good

aliferste · 03-01-2006, 14:22

Ah, the etiquette of attending a gym. When in a gym never mention the shape of anyone’s bodies, you are purely there to get fit and feel good about yourself.
The girls wear tight clothes which make them look pretty hot and the unwritten rule is that you never look at them directly or even mention anything to do with body shape.
They will reciprocate this by not telling you that you look a bit tubby!
Of course if you are one of the giant muscles bound men than you are allowed to gruffly say “working on me back” or “Arrgh Legs today” in a deep manly voice!

Usually the most you can say is “good workout?” to women, and that is the closest you get, if you say something like “You've got the perfect shape" that would probably mean that while they have been bending over, sweating and doing lots of other contortionist activities you have been looking at their bums! At least that is what they will be thinking anyway!

Would have been as well cutting to the chase and saying "Nice Tits"

Pia · 03-01-2006, 14:23

I think she was well out of order.

If someone had said that to me i'd have taken it as a compliment.

Some girls are like that for some reason. She was flattering herself if anything, in thinking he was coming onto her!!

ikthius · 03-01-2006, 14:44

as I work in a gym, probably the women never said a thing, and the instructor just thought you 2 were being overly friendly.

gyms are social places, so a stray comment would not warrent a comment, and I don't think thte women meant to say something, to the instructor, probably the instructor overheard their comments and felt he had to say something.

you should have asked what a heads up was!

ik

Halcyon · 03-01-2006, 15:18

I'm not a lady myself but as a guy I wouldnt have come out with what he said....it IS a bit tooo forward in my opinion.
However, I think the girl should have ignored it this time round.....it's not like your friend has been commenting about her on a daily basis.

Saaf_laandon_mo · 03-01-2006, 15:20

It is confusing tho. For example if the same woman had said she is going on a diet, and the guy had said, "Hey you dont need to, your perfect", she would have taken it as a compliment.

TheBlueRaja · 03-01-2006, 15:22

Get any photies?

03-01-2006, 15:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Russ D

When we left, one of the instructors came over and said words to the effect of "Lads, I know you're knew here but we've had a complaint of inappropriate behaviour involving you both

As someone has said, did you confirm if a) there had been an actual complaint and that b) it was who you think it was?

Furthermore, I think you should have pointed out to him that you knew these ladies from before you joined the gym, and hence you were perfectly entitled to speak to them.

I personally think the instructor has made some erroneous assumptions. He may have meant well, but I think you should make sure that he understands that if he did make assumptions based only on what he saw, then he's skating on thin ice making accusations like that.

**Russ** · 03-01-2006, 15:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScaredWebWarrior

As someone has said, did you confirm if a) there had been an actual complaint and that b) it was who you think it was?

Furthermore, I think you should have pointed out to him that you knew these ladies from before you joined the gym, and hence you were perfectly entitled to speak to them.

I personally think the instructor has made some erroneous assumptions. He may have meant well, but I think you should make sure that he understands that if he did make assumptions based only on what he saw, then he's skating on thin ice making accusations like that.

To be honest I think we were both a bit shocked that someone had taken offence, we didn't think of anything to say other than "cheers mate" before wandering off with our tails between our legs.

I'm pretty sure the complaint came from them - they were the only women in there until about 5 minutes before we left.

Shaun · 03-01-2006, 15:54

Text her and ask if your mate offended.

ikthius · 03-01-2006, 15:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScaredWebWarrior

Quote:

Originally Posted by Russ D

When we left, one of the instructors came over and said words to the effect of "Lads, I know you're knew here but we've had a complaint of inappropriate behaviour involving you both

As someone has said, did you confirm if a) there had been an actual complaint and that b) it was who you think it was?

Furthermore, I think you should have pointed out to him that you knew these ladies from before you joined the gym, and hence you were perfectly entitled to speak to them.

I personally think the instructor has made some erroneous assumptions. He may have meant well, but I think you should make sure that he understands that if he did make assumptions based only on what he saw, then he's skating on thin ice making accusations like that.

agreed, not unless he felt threatned by you both, because he wanted in there......

ik

punky · 03-01-2006, 16:01

In a gym, you aren't supposed to be seen to be trying to pick up girls (although it doesn't sound like Carl was trying). His comments and behavior certainly look like he was trying. People at gyms, especially women, tend to be very self conscious about their bodies so anyone checking out their body shape and making a (even a good one) isn't really the done thing.

She was a bit of a bitch though. Wasn't the smartest thing for Carl to do, but she didn't have to be like that.

That said I do know some girls who constantly get hit on and its extremely annoying, especially when they are trying to get something done, like a gym session. They just want to be left alone.

03-01-2006, 16:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by punky

That said I do know some girls who constantly get hit on and its extremely annoying, especially when they are trying to get something done, like a gym session. They just want to be left alone.

It must suck huge style to be so gorgeous.

I'm sure if they really tried they could actually look quite average, but then they wouldn't get noticed, would they...

---------- Post added at 16:29 ---------- Previous post was at 16:26 ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Russ D

I'm pretty sure the complaint came from them - they were the only women in there until about 5 minutes before we left.

You're still accepting that there was an actual complaint.

I find it hard to believe that someone you knew (and presumably she was not unfriendly towards you) would put in a complaint like that - certainly not a complaint that could be considered to be against yourself.

What passed, as you explained it, seems to me too harmless to warrant a complaint.

I'm still betting on the instructor's maths being of the 2+2=5 variety.

aliferste · 03-01-2006, 16:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScaredWebWarrior

It must suck huge style to be so gorgeous.

I'm sure if they really tried they could actually look quite average, but then they wouldn't get noticed, would they...

And what is wrong with looking good and feeling good about yourself ?

You seem to be under the presumption that people only want to look good and feel good to attract the opposite sex. Which is untrue !