standard of living at what cost

[bopdude]

As per title, what do we, want or need to be happy with. This means, what are we willing to sacrife in order to gain for ourselves ??
I for one imigrated to South Africa when I was 25, gave up my family & friends in the U.K. ( Mother, Father, bro and sis ) and went with little more than high spirits, turned out that I had 6 good years there, yes I would go back. My sacrifice at the time not a lot..... for the experience.

Now, 10 years later, I have 2 children, Lee 12 & 3/4, & Lauren 9 & 3/4, both were born in S.A.


So, back to title, what would you give up for a standard of living ( far better than that to that which you have )

This is the tricky part, having read what I did & now have ( kids ) Bearing in mind I don't have them full time, though thats not what I would have.

I have the chance to go live ( 6 months visa at a time ) in Goa, West India, aparently, it's paradise, costs are next to nothing to live, £90 a month is more than ' comfortable ' for living, accomadation supplied.

So what would you do..............?????????????????????

[Kliro]

Are you seeking advice, or asking what we'd do?

If I were you I'd stick with my kids.

The standard of life might be cheaper, but not necessarily better, would you be living in a palace in the middle of a swamp?

[punky]

My family moved to the US years ago to improve our standard of life. It has, but years of visa problems for myself (other 4 members emigrated without a hitch), has mounted a huge unforeseen uncalculable cost on the family which we're still paying for.

Your main sticking point is your children. It sounds like they aren't going. Because I don't know what relationship you have with your kids, and how often you see them, its hard for me to give any advice on it, so I have to speak in generalities.

My perspective on raising kids is that you should put them above yourself. Regardless of what you would like to do, you really have to consider them first. Its no good earning lots of money to provide for their future if you aren't providing for their present. They are only 12 and 9, and even if they say they don't need you around, only you can really say if your kids need you. Being there for them when they need you the most can be worth a lot, more than money. Even if you think that they'll be fine with you going away, be warned that going away for months at a time especially at the ages they are at can seriously damage the relationship between the 3 of you.

I have to go 9 or so months at a time without seeing my family sometimes. Even when the breaks were shorter, when I was younger, it put a tremendous strain on the family as a whole. I presume Liz is going. Be warned if she goes along with you it can put a big strain on your relationship too.

As I said its hard to really give you specific advice as I don't really know what your relationships are like between your kids/Liz and yourself, but I hope that helps you out some way. Best of luck with whatever you decide mate.

[bopdude]

Originally Posted by Kliro

Are you seeking advice, or asking what we'd do?

Bit of both really, but mainly asking what would you be willing to give up so that you could live ' better '

Originally Posted by punky

Even if you think that they'll be fine with you going away, be warned that going away for months at a time especially at the ages they are at can seriously damage the relationship between the 3 of you.

Mmm, the kids have said they'd be ok with it, but would they, as you say, the ages they are at etc etc

Originally Posted by punky

I presume Liz is going. Be warned if she goes along with you it can put a big strain on your relationship too.

As I said its hard to really give you specific advice as I don't really know what your relationships are like between your kids/Liz and yourself, but I hope that helps you out some way. Best of luck with whatever you decide mate.

Liz might go, she's not sure she could go, she also has 2 kids by a previous marrage, as for my relationship with my kids / Liz, I think it's strong enough but who knows, well there you go, back to thread title what would you give up and at what cost

[daz300]

i would stay ..

[danielf]

I would go. It's an adventure, your kids could come and visit you (presumably?) in summer, and you can always come back if things don't work out/you can't seen the kids.

Originally Posted by bopdude

As per title, what do we, want or need to be happy with. This means, what are we willing to sacrife in order to gain for ourselves ??
I for one imigrated to South Africa when I was 25, gave up my family & friends in the U.K. ( Mother, Father, bro and sis ) and went with little more than high spirits, turned out that I had 6 good years there, yes I would go back. My sacrifice at the time not a lot..... for the experience.

Now, 10 years later, I have 2 children, Lee 12 & 3/4, & Lauren 9 & 3/4, both were born in S.A.


So, back to title, what would you give up for a standard of living ( far better than that to that which you have )

This is the tricky part, having read what I did & now have ( kids ) Bearing in mind I don't have them full time, though thats not what I would have.

I have the chance to go live ( 6 months visa at a time ) in Goa, West India, aparently, it's paradise, costs are next to nothing to live, £90 a month is more than ' comfortable ' for living, accomadation supplied.

So what would you do..............?????????????????????

I'd be gone like a flash mate this country is the pits.

[Ramrod]

We have the opposite problem. We could go and live in Australia or NZ--and probably should for a better life for our 2 kids.
Whats stopping us is that we would leave our parents and other relatives here and they would be seperated from their grandchildren for long periods of time.
In your case Bop, I would stay here to be near your kids.....

[bopdude]

Originally Posted by danielf

I would go. It's an adventure, your kids could come and visit you (presumably?) in summer, and you can always come back if things don't work out/you can't seen the kids.

Thats what I was thinking, could always come back and theres always webcams etc etc, not the same but still it's only 6 months at a time.

Originally Posted by Nidge

I'd be gone like a flash mate this country is the pits.

Yep, getting worse by the year IMO

Originally Posted by Ramrod

We have the opposite problem. We could go and live in Australia or NZ--and probably should for a better life for our 2 kids.

That would be a great new life for all of you

Originally Posted by Ramrod

Whats stopping us is that we would leave our parents and other relatives here and they would be seperated from their grandchildren for long periods of time.

Thats a down side, we got around that by paying for the folks to come over twice, still it is hard but IMO, for me, it was worth it.

Originally Posted by Ramrod

In your case Bop, I would stay here to be near your kids.....

As much as I find myself wanting to go, I'm thinking of putting it off for a couple of years, as you say, for the kids Still,........

[Ramrod]

Originally Posted by bopdude

we got around that by paying for the folks to come over twice, still it is hard but IMO, for me, it was worth it.

My in laws couldn't fly that far/long because of their various health problems....

[bopdude]

Originally Posted by Ramrod

My in laws couldn't fly that far/long because of their various health problems....

That is a problem, sounds like we both have dilema's

[Chrysalis]

Outside countries view uk as a country of welath but in truth we have massive living costs and millions living below the poverty line.

The question is would you be prepared to be lonely and split from your family to have a better quality of life, I personally wouldnt.

[etccarmageddon]

I would always put the kids first. If you choose to have the luxury of kids then you give up other things.

Famly ALWAYS comes first no matter what.

To sacrifice your family life for the sake of living and working somewhere nice and cheap is wrong.

If your family cant go, in my oppinion neither should you.


Whatever happens I wish you all the best.

[Chrysalis]

I was reffering to my parents and sister's but if you have children and even consider abandoning them for cheaper cost of life then I think you are crazy. Sorry.