Hi All.
As I have not been online for ages I thought it would be a good idea to give you a progress report on what is happening in my life.
I am pleased to say that something wonderfull has happened to me
As many of you know I broke up with my wife 1 year ago and it realy screwed me up as I made a huge ammount of changes in my life, I think that was the mistake as changing yourself for someone else just does not work. I still miss Lesleyann and it does still hurt.
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It does get better
I have for a few years now known a lovely person called Gemma. Gemma has three children, She had them all when she was young so she has had no childhood at all ! She has had two partners that were both violent toward her, something I find inexcusable. I met Gemma via a friend and at the time they were together. I had allways liked her but the relationship was purely plutonic. Gemma is one of those people in life that has a heart of gold, She never thinks of herself, She puts the children first to the extent that she wont eat if there is not enough food, She will give it to the kids.
When she broke up with her last partner (who used to be a friend of mine) I stayed with her for a while sleeping on the Sofa. Gemma did not want to be alone and was going through a very dificult patch. In the last 3 weeks we have fallen head over heels in love with each other, Something I never thought would be possible. Many of the members on here told me that I would find love again and I did not believe them. They were right
It was not easy, For a while she did not know how she felt and my presence did put some presure on her, I could not help this as I was in love with her.
For the first time for years and years I actualy look forward to going home. She is allways there to give me a cuddle, Not a forced cuddle like I used to have, She genuinely wants to be with me. I cant put in text what she actualy means to me, The first person I have met that actualy cares as much for me as I do for them. Things have been hard for us and the relationship has only realy developed in the last few weeks. As Gemma has had so much crap in her life she is finding it hard to accept that something nice is actualy happening to her ! Gemma's three children who I love very much are bonding with me, Its been a hard ajustment for the children to but they are happy and contented. We are taking things a day at a time at the moment and together we are going to take on the world and win !!!!!
I cant describe in words how much Gemma meanst to me. I had reached a stage in my life where I had given up with life, Now this has been turned arround. I feel I have a purpose and a family to be responsible for and care for, Many people are suprised that I have taken on such a huge comitment with three children aged 5, 8 and 4 months old, I love all of them and I will put 110% into the family. I think its time that they had someone who can take care of them and look after them.
I am now looking for a better paid job so I can get a house for the family, At the moment we are all stuck in a small three bedroom flat, I actualy have some motivation to do this now !
I just want to say that
I Love you Gemma - I allways will and I am not going to hurt you like you have been hurt before ! I will allways be there for you through the good times and the bad times !
I hope to come back online on a regular basis after christmas
I have missed talking to all of you. Thanks for reading this and sorry about the lone post.
Yours very very very happily........ Stuartbe
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