Fatherhood 'civilises' men

[Russ B]

Seeing as us blokes came in for a bit of an unwarranted bashing yesterday, I found this and thought it would be a good way to turn things around.

It's definately had an effect on me. I've never really been a big fan of kids until my daughter came along, now I get upset if I ever read in the paper that a child has been hurt etc and don't get me started on the NSPCC adverts on tv - I know they're neccessary but I just cannot watch them.

Although I will contest the idea that 'fatherhood' civilises men, as any fool can be a father, it doesn't take much. I'd say 'dadhood' is what changes us.

Originally Posted by Russ D

It's definately had an effect on me. I've never really been a big fan of kids until my daughter came along, now I get upset if I ever read in the paper that a child has been hurt etc and don't get me started on the NSPCC adverts on tv - I know they're neccessary but I just cannot watch them..

I have always loved kids - I used to be very keen on handling babies even when I was quite young (i.e. pre-teen.)

The suffering of children has always been a tough one, but after having kids, you feel it more sharply - as you inevitably imagine your own child suffering etc.

Originally Posted by Russ D

Although I will contest the idea that 'fatherhood' civilises men, as any fool can be a father, it doesn't take much. I'd say 'dadhood' is what changes us.

Yup - that's true enough.

[Jon M]

I've always loved babies/kids, I take every oppertunity to help out with my 2 month old niece and I jointly run a youth club with my siblings for 9yr olds upwards.

I think the main reason parenthood has been an outlet for the more caring masculine traits is because society frowns on the alternatives.

The main problem is that the thug culture prevalent in many areas and levels within society views this quality as effeminate.
A secondary but far more damaging attitude is the assumption that any men interested in youth work are sexual predators with paedophilic tendancies.

[basa]

Originally Posted by Russ D

Seeing as us blokes came in for a bit of an unwarranted bashing yesterday, ..............

Dunno about 'unwarranted', some opinions showed a lack of understanding of a womans special role in child bearing and motherhood, but since I hope my feelings are clear from that thread, I'll say no more on that matter.

I find the most overriding feeling resultant from fathering and helping bring up my two daughters is one of 'protection' in all its forms. From providing food and home, to education, to trying to ensure they are safe outside, at school and even on the internet.

The love one feels for ones own children has to be experienced to be believed and surpasses any feelings for anyone else I know or have known. In the ultimate, I know I would willingly give my last morsel, penny and blood to ensure they survive.

It also seems to bring an understanding of other young people and an empathy for their problems and behaviour. I know they have far greater problems and worries today than I ever had as a child.

[luftys]

I love kids,just cant eat a whole one