The sad world of depression.

Arthurgray50@blu · 22-12-2009, 19:39

Over the past twelve months, l started to get aggressive, anxious and felt the whole world was against me, until about two months ago, l started getting really stressed and started having a go at my wife of 33 years and ended up on the wrong side of the law, l started doing silly and stupid things, totally against my way of life.

Then, l decided to seek help, and l was told today that l was suffering depression, and l cannot believe it, it is somehing l didn't know anything about, Its easier for a female to get this, due to there stressful life etc, but for a male, l could not believe what the doctor said. Has anyone else gone through this.

**Hugh** · 22-12-2009, 19:41

Arthur, you have taken the first step, in that you have been to the doctor's, and been diagnosed. Men suffer from depression just as much as women, but are less likely to ask for help.

I hope things go well for you, but there are very rarely any overnight fixes for depression - good luck.

There is some useful info here and here

**Matt D** · 22-12-2009, 19:49

Sorry to hear that, Arthur.

Depression is something which can affect men or women of all ages. It's not a female only thing.

I know a few people who have had it, or currently have it. Family & friends.

I had it myself just over 10 years ago, & went to my GP about it. He put me on the waiting list for a counsellor, & prescribed me some Fluoxetine (Prozac), a type of SSRI anti-depressant (Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitor).

I didn't personally find the counselling very helpful, but the anti-depressants did help a lot (although they did also give me the odd mood swing). I know others who found counselling very beneficial.

AFAIK, anti-depressants have moved on a fair bit since I took Prozac - both the other newer SSRIs & other classes.

Mr Angry · 22-12-2009, 19:49

Arfur - as Foreverwar has pointed out - you've taken the first (right) step to addressing your circumstances.

You are not on your own, many thousands of men suffer depression and I've known a few of them personally.

The PM function is a useful thing.

Chin up.

lucy7 · 22-12-2009, 20:07

You are not alone man!
Help is out there, seek it, embrace it and you WILL get through it.
All the best xx

Arthurgray50@blu · 22-12-2009, 20:13

I am very grateful to everyone for your help.

Raistlin · 22-12-2009, 20:26

Got no idea what you're feeling or up against Arthur, and that's because those feelings are yours and yours alone. Each person is different, and thus they are affected by depression (and feel during their depression) in different ways.

I've suffered from depression in the past, and if I'm honest with myself I'm suffering from it now. The difference between the two bouts is that the first one (about 5 years ago) came out of nowhere and had no discernible cause (the doctor even said it was just achemical imbalance rather than anything environmental) and so was relatively easy to treat (SSRIs). Whereas I know exactly what's causing this one, and no amount of tablets or talking is going to help me out.

I know where you are with this though, and I wish you the very best in getting your life back on track and getting yourself to the place that you need to be in.

**Maggy J** · 22-12-2009, 20:46

Just remember you are not alone.There are millions of your fellow citizens who are suffering as well and I'm fairly certain there are a high number of CFers who know what you are going through.

You have gone through the hardest part,admitting to the problem and seeking help.Coming here and telling us is another step on the road to recovery.

I'm sure that several fellow sufferers will be along later to let you know you are not alone..

Fingy · 22-12-2009, 20:53

If you do get put on anti-depressants and they do not agree with you go back to your doctor. There are a few different 'families' of them and some may agree with you better than others. Fluoxetine may make you nauseaus.

Good luck and talking to people can really help.

martyh · 22-12-2009, 21:00

hi arthur ,sorry to here about that ,i think it's very brave of you to discuss this on a open forum like this .I personnally don't suffer (i think)so cannot give advise but i and am sure many others here will offer their support

superbiatch · 22-12-2009, 21:05

My OH was diagnosed with clinical depression some 3 years ago now. Since then his life has gone from contemplating suicide, to looking forward to things again

You'd be surprised how many people suffer or have suffered in the past and the stigma is slowly going away thankfully.

Don't be alone, as you can see there are many people willing to support you. All I would say is be persistant with your GP, in our experience it can take a while to find the best medication/therapy and you will probably experience some 'not so nice' side effects, but stick with it.

Use the internet as a tool to help you through this difficult period and remember as quickly as a bout of depression can start, it can also end

Good luck

martyh · 22-12-2009, 21:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by superbiatch

You'd be surprised how many people suffer or have suffered in the past and the stigma is slowly going away thankfully.

this is something i have noticed over the last few years ,indeed i myself used to scoff at the idea of people suffering from depression ,but now with the exposure it has had over the last few years my opinion has changed .I can also see how it can explain a lot of the problems people have which in the past have been put down to character deficiencies and not the illness it is

ianp2009 · 22-12-2009, 21:39

Well i've been on anti depressants for about 2 years now it started with worrying about work, panic attacks when out walking ,anxious, angry behaviour at work, generally all the trade marks.

The first tablets the doc gave me didnt work that well so make sure you question the doc after a couple of weeks if you think they'er not working for you.

Now im off work, with other medical problems, i'm still taking the tablets and somehow i dont think i'll ever be off them. Rather that then suffering what i went thru before tho

ian

lucy7 · 22-12-2009, 22:29

I used to have the attitude "for gods sake pull your socks up" to folk who suffer from depression, until I married someone who was still fragile from a nervous breakdown.

Pills at first, then self help and the love of a bad woman pulled him through.

Such good advice from the above posters for you Authur.
It is good to talk about stuff like this, and type of course.

Lucy.

peanut · 22-12-2009, 23:17

Having to deal with considerable pain every day has changed me quite a lot, I put it down as it being normal for my condition, I was referred to pain management at my local hospital where I had access to their pain management psychologists. At the time I only thought it might help to get my head back on track just to manage dealing with pain.

I didn't think I was depressed, but after a couple of months talking it turned out I was clinically depressed and in quite a bad way. I don't take any pills as I rattle enough as it is, but having someone to talk to on a weekly basis really has helped. In the past I just blamed pain for everything for the way I was, but now I can single out the depression away from the pain and deal with them separately.

I know the pain won't stop so nor will the depression but taking things one step at a time, and the key for me is to take things at a much slower pace and in manageable chunks really does help.

And as hard as it is, try not to suffer in silence.