I dont know where I stand

Central · 18-06-2009, 00:21

I am my dads and mums only child. They split up when I was 2 or 3 and my dad remarried.

My dads new wife also had a daughter. My dad adopted her as his own as her real father was not on the scene. My dad and his new wife had two more children. A boy and a girl. There ages are the older sister is 28, my only brother is 22 and the younger sister is 19.

I always lived with my mother and saw my dad every weekend.

Lately they dont seem to be bothered with me with the exception of my younger sister who I text sometimes. My last birthday I never got one card from the older sister or brother not even a text. But I did from the younger sister.

I have texted my brother a few times and each time he asks who it is so he never saves my number.

It just seems I get excluded from everything like family BBQ's. The older sister has her own house and has done for 3 years but I have never been invited to it.

I dont feel like mentioning it to my dad as I dont want to cause arguements as he has just been diagnosed with Diabetes and looks quite ill.

I just feel a loner. And dont know what to do.

Jimmy-J · 18-06-2009, 02:07

Maybe you could tactfully ask your younger sister what she thinks of your concerns?

rogerdraig · 18-06-2009, 02:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Product 13

Maybe you could tactfully ask your younger sister what she thinks of your concerns?

yep and or do the inviting to your place or BBQ it goes both ways

life time and the i will do it later thing tend to get in the way even for those who are interested in family its easy to let time slip by even if you meant to get in touch

go see your dad more get involved more and likely they will involve you more

18-06-2009, 04:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Central

I am my dads and mums only child. They split up when I was 2 or 3 and my dad remarried.

My dads new wife also had a daughter. My dad adopted her as his own as her real father was not on the scene. My dad and his new wife had two more children. A boy and a girl. There ages are the older sister is 28, my only brother is 22 and the younger sister is 19.

I always lived with my mother and saw my dad every weekend.

Lately they dont seem to be bothered with me with the exception of my younger sister who I text sometimes. My last birthday I never got one card from the older sister or brother not even a text. But I did from the younger sister.

I have texted my brother a few times and each time he asks who it is so he never saves my number.

It just seems I get excluded from everything like family BBQ's. The older sister has her own house and has done for 3 years but I have never been invited to it.

I dont feel like mentioning it to my dad as I dont want to cause arguements as he has just been diagnosed with Diabetes and looks quite ill.

I just feel a loner. And dont know what to do.

That sucks mate big time, it's what you get when parents split up I'm affraid. I can't tell you what to do only have a word with your dad, I know you mentioned that he's ill but he's your dad and you are his son and no matter what has gone off he shouldn't leave his own flesh and blood out of things like parties and BBQ's. I hope evertyhing works out OK for you mate.

lauzjp · 18-06-2009, 13:09

Central, I know they're your family, but you've got to try not to think about it so much - there's your own life to be getting on with

though you do sound a bit depressed; are you still taking antidepressants or have you had a period of not taking them? Are you working or studying? You could try volunteering, or get another hobby. You need a distraction from thinking!

And I don't want to seem rude, but if the older sister is married / got kids then she will have her hands full running her life - it can create a little bit of chaos having visitors if your not used to it (this is what happens in our little home!)

And with your Dad being ill - ask him if he would like you to pick up some shopping, or do some chores? Idea for pressie - between now and Father's Day you could find a few diabetic goodies (boots, tesco, ebay) and make him a little hamper?

idi banashapan · 18-06-2009, 13:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by rogermevans

yep and or do the inviting to your place or BBQ it goes both ways

life time and the i will do it later thing tend to get in the way even for those who are interested in family its easy to let time slip by even if you meant to get in touch

go see your dad more get involved more and likely they will involve you more

totally agree.

alferret · 18-06-2009, 17:37

You cant choose your family.
I know where you are coming from though not with siblings but with my son. Dont get calls or txts returned, never bothers with birthday\christmas cards etc even when I see him he's pretty quiet and unaproachable yet my 2 daughters are always phoning\txting and visiting and I need to quiz them or my ex wife to find out how he is doing.
It used to upset me, but now I dont let it bother me, he knows where I am if he wants to talk.

Dont let it bother you life is to short for getting upset, as long as you dont forget them where birthdays and christmas are concerned your not stooping to their level.

lucy7 · 18-06-2009, 18:33

This original post has actually bought a tear to my eye.

Familys who split up, then re marry, then more kids are born to both set of parents, this can be a hard thing to deal with, and one can feel or actually be left out.
I think sometimes we can all get caught up in our own little busy lives and do not think that lack of contact with one of the family members may effect them in a negative way.

Pesonally I would try to turn it around by not thinking they do not bother with me, you go and bother with them!
Get pro active, arrange a family gathering, pop in and see them, and if all else fails frount them up, and explain that you are feeling alone and left out of things, a bit of baring soul can work wonders! They may not have a clue how you are feeling.
Sometimes you have to make the move first to get things back to how we all think happy familes should be.

I wish you well Central, take care now.

rogerdraig · 18-06-2009, 22:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucy7

This original post has actually bought a tear to my eye.

Familys who split up, then re marry, then more kids are born to both set of parents, this can be a hard thing to deal with, and one can feel or actually be left out.
I think sometimes we can all get caught up in our own little busy lives and do not think that lack of contact with one of the family members may effect them in a negative way.

Pesonally I would try to turn it around by not thinking they do not bother with me, you go and bother with them!
Get pro active, arrange a family gathering, pop in and see them, and if all else fails frount them up, and explain that you are feeling alone and left out of things, a bit of baring soul can work wonders! They may not have a clue how you are feeling.
Sometimes you have to make the move first to get things back to how we all think happy familes should be.

I wish you well Central, take care now.

exactly