Constipated...

chuzzlemonkey · 17-03-2009, 13:16

OK.

I need some serious help people!

The lady has been constipated all week! And normally I wouldn't post about it but she just won't stop moaning! And to be fair, when I'm eating my cocopops i don't want to hear it!

HELP???

We've tried everything...

Laxatives/BRAN..more BRAN...epic amounts of Bran.

One site she visited even suggested eating grass!

Why oh why would you eat grass?

Can someone help me make it all go away????

papa smurf · 17-03-2009, 13:24

my x missus suffered constantly from childhood she tried every thing finaly i went to a herbal shop run by an asian gent he put me on to Sena pods ,you just make a tea with them they will move a mountain.

superbiatch · 17-03-2009, 13:24

Won't bran just 'bung her up' so to speak?

How about something senna based, or that one which is always on the box - the stool softener

(sorry, but that always makes me larf!).

If she's got pains, i find that some boiled water allowed to cool a little helps

**Kymmy** · 17-03-2009, 13:25

If it's been a week and laxatives don't help then I'd take her to a doctor as that's just not a ehalthy digestive system at work...

chuzzlemonkey · 17-03-2009, 13:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by superbiatch

Won't bran just 'bung her up' so to speak?

How about something senna based, or that one which is always on the box - the stool softener

(sorry, but that always makes me larf!).

If she's got pains, i find that some boiled water allowed to cool a little helps

I don't know? Does it? lol...if it does then that might be why she hasn't pooed for like a week!

Should i make her drink the boiled water or put it on her belly? lol

I just wana eat my cocopops in peace!

LondonRoad · 17-03-2009, 13:30

A vindaloo washed down with 6 pints of Guinness always works for me.... and since it's St Patrick's day a sprig shamrock on the vindaloo.

joglynne · 17-03-2009, 13:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kymmy

If it's been a week and laxatives don't help then I'd take her to a doctor as that's just not a ehalthy digestive system at work...

As Kymmy says if it's been a full week then medical intervention could be needed and maybe discussing it with her doctor could sort out why it has happened.

In the mean time you could try the old standby of 2 or 3 pieces of Liquorice, but don't let her over do the amount she has as it can have bad side effects if you take large quantities over a prolonged period.

fireman328 · 17-03-2009, 13:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by superbiatch

Won't bran just 'bung her up' so to speak?

How about something senna based, or that one which is always on the box - the stool softener

(sorry, but that always makes me larf!).

If she's got pains, i find that some boiled water allowed to cool a little helps

I think you need to have roughage to help the digestive transfer to the lower bowel to get it going. No pun intended.

Taf · 17-03-2009, 14:13

Only a week? Some people can go longer than that... it depends on your diet too.

Freshly squeezed orange juice gets me moving... or a garden hose inserted..... owee... owee... owee! Nope, scrap that idea......

But if you have a really dry lower colon content you'd better standby for some tears....

WHISTLED · 17-03-2009, 14:26

Hot coffee, lots of it and few hours later its slipping out a treat!

Top thread!

Fingy · 17-03-2009, 14:38

Doctors, whilst waiting on an appt try Fybrogel, my mother swears by it. (Thankfully she also wouldn't know how to turn a computer on so I'm safe from getting yelled at!)

**Kymmy** · 17-03-2009, 14:43

Picolax (now is there an evil grin smilie as that suggestion truly warrants it!!! - Youtube it if you don't believe me and yes I have had it before a colon op)

chuzzlemonkey · 17-03-2009, 14:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by WHISTLED

Hot coffee, lots of it and few hours later its slipping out a treat!

Top thread!

lol i should rename it 101 ways to make yourself poo?

We should get 101 ways, then close the thread and make it a sticky!

**Kymmy** · 17-03-2009, 14:45

I think it'll make itself sticky at that point....EEEEWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

Peter_ · 17-03-2009, 14:49

You mean to say that your good lady is full of it

Try syrup of figs but use a Table spoon, a mate of mine years ago was constipated and we persuaded him it was a misprint on the bottle and it was not a Tea spoon he should take, but it did work and it left him feeling rather empty and drained.