Bereavement

12noon · 06-09-2008, 09:59

Hi, I need a little bit of help and advice.

My mother died on Sunday and i'm her next of kin. My mother owned her own home, but lived for the last 16 years with her boyfriend in mums house.

My problem is that i've sorted the funeral (it took place on thursday) but haven't done anything else and i somehow need to pay for the funeral. I know mum had money in the bank and also had an ISA. I just don't know how much, where to start or what to do.

I've got a copy of mums will that says that her boyfriend can stay in the house for a short time, but that the sale of the house will be split between me and my two sisters. I don't know how that will work or how long before the sale.

Can someone please give me some advice or point me in the right direction of a website or message board forum that might be able to help.

**Maggy J** · 06-09-2008, 10:10

Well the only thread on CF I could find is about paying for a funeral while on benefits so may not be applicable

http://www.cableforum.co.uk/board/22...questions.html

Then Google got me this

http://www.thewillexpert.co.uk/Minim...eralCosts.html

http://www.facingbereavement.co.uk/F...ssistance.html

I also suggest talking to the funeral directors about paying in installments until you get access to any funds.

Hopefully one of the many legal experts will be along to offer much better help.

12noon · 06-09-2008, 10:24

Thanks.

I did get a booklet from mums bank (Halifax) that gives an outline, but realized that it isn't good enough. Oh and i've made an appointment to see someone at the bank.

The other thing that i forgot to mention was that 45 years ago my mum used to work next door to an asbestos factory in Leeds. She died of mesothelioma and had already started to make a claim for compensation. I should imagine i have to get in touch with the people sorting her claim out and tell them that she has past away.

**Maggy J** · 06-09-2008, 10:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12noon

Thanks.

I did get a booklet from mums bank (Halifax) that gives an outline, but realized that it isn't good enough. Oh and i've made an appointment to see someone at the bank.

The other thing that i forgot to mention was that 45 years ago my mum used to work next door to an asbestos factory in Leeds. She died of mesothelioma and had already started to make a claim for compensation. I should imagine i have to get in touch with the people sorting her claim out and tell them that she has past away.

Yes you will..sorry to hear of yet another person who had their health ruined without any compensation forthcoming...

I think you will have see if your local Citizens Advice (CAB) can offer some advice about the funeral.

12noon · 06-09-2008, 11:07

The problem with the claim was that the factory no longer exists where she used to work. So the solicitors appointed to sort out the claim where trying to find the insurance company that insured the factory.

When i went to my mothers autopsy the coroner told me that i should be able to claim from the asbestos factory next door. He said that people have made claims that were just stood outside at the bus stop. Anyway with a bit of luck i should be able to find the relevant papers and get in touch with the solicitors and hopefully get some compensation. My mum was only 63 years old when she died.

Angua · 06-09-2008, 11:12

Once you have seen the bank things will be much clearer. They are used to dealing with all these sorts of things, and they should allow the release of funds to pay for the funeral (take any related bills with you). Also worth notifying the utility companies/council tax and getting an up to date bill as these will be part of your mothers estate which should be paid from any money before disbursements.

As for the house sale in the current climate may take some while so it may be worth seeing if you can stay in the house whilst you look for a buyer as this will be better for security reasons (check with your sisters that this is ok though).

Good luck & do come back for further advice (someone will probably be able to help).

Raistlin · 06-09-2008, 11:24

Sorry to hear about your loss

The only advice I can give is to get as many certified copies of the death certificate as possible. I know that most agencies will want an original copy, not a photocopy, so try to get an idea of how many copies you think you are likely to need up front - thay way you shouldn't have to be running around trying to sort them out as you go along.

12noon · 06-09-2008, 11:51

I asked the coroner to do me ten copies of the interim death certificate. I can't have the real death certificate just yet because the coroner had to send lug samples up to Scotland to be tested under a better microscope for evidence of asbestos in her lungs.

As for the sale of the house, my mums boyfriend will be living in it for about a year (i think) and will then have to go back to his own house which his son lives in. It's very awkward because of the fact he's living in the house. Does he become the tenant and me and my two sisters become the landlords or what ?

susie r · 06-09-2008, 12:21

So sorry for your loss, it's very stressful at this time trying to sort out all that needs to be done. As Angua says, all will become a little clearer after you have visited the bank. As a bank worker myself who deals with bereavements maybe I can make a few points that may help you.

You need to take an original copy of the Death Certificate with you & also 2 forms of I.D for yourself (passport & driving licence are ideal) also if you have the will take that along too. Your late mothers accounts will be frozen until everything is sorted out, however you will be able to have funds to pay for the funeral expenses immediately, so take the funeral directors bill with you as proof.

As a general rule, if the monies in your mothers accounts total 20k or more, then probate will be needed, nothing more will be done until the probate document is provided. If the amount is between 5k-Ã‚Â£19,999 you will be given a statutory declaration form to be filled in by next of kin/executors, which has to be witnessed by a solicitor, on this form you can give your instructions as to where the funds should be transferred etc. If the total amount of monies is less than 5k, all that you need to do is fill in the Stat Dec form with instructions as to the accounts being closed/transferred , no witness signature is required in this instance.

Obviously the will has to be followed regarding the house & perhaps it would be worth you having a conversation with a solicitor on this matter, hope this helps clear up a few of your concerns.

Charlie_Bubble · 06-09-2008, 13:14

Sorry to hear about your mum.

I think you need to seek a solicitor asap about your mum's will and the house. Due to the length of time that your mum's partner lived in the house with your mum, he could have a claim on her estate despite what your mum's will said and you need to get to a solicitor now to get your side sorted out. I have no idea how good or bad your relationship is with your mothers partner, but it could deteriorate very quickly over this. People do very funny things when there is money at stake.

Bit of background to my experience of this. My gran re-married when my mum was about 20 years old. They lived together as man and wife for about 28 years. When they got together, he gave his house to his son. When my gran died, her will said that my mum should get the house, but he should have the right to live rent free there until he died and could have all the furniture in the house. Her financial assets (Bank account balance's etc) were to be mine. My gran had paid all the bills in the house throughout their time together, he paid the telephone bill. When she died, he challenged the will saying the right to live in the house was not enough. Basically the battle lasted about 4 years and during this time the house value went down by about 50% due to market conditions. He took 50% of her financial assets and 50% of the house. We think the real person behind it was his son, who had a string of failed business ventures and 4 kids, none of whom worked for a living.

I hope all goes well for you, but be aware that things could get pretty bad. Hopefully, he won't challenge it and will move out at the appointed time.

12noon · 06-09-2008, 14:13

The will says he gets Ã‚Â£20,000 in cash (im sure the bank has more than enough to cover this) and when mum was making the will the solicitor said that because he owns his own house, he shouldn't have a claim to mums.

It could be that he gets his money and the bit of money that is left goes to paying the funeral and that me & my two sisters get nothing until he decides to move out of the house. I just don't know.

Anyway thanks for the advice. I'll take the documents i need to the bank with me and see what they say.

eth01 · 06-09-2008, 14:33

lets rake the money in...

Sirius · 06-09-2008, 14:34

Sorry to hear of you loss

12noon · 06-09-2008, 15:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by eth01

lets rake the money in...

I didn't start this thread about money. It was just that i wasn't sure how to go about doing things and some good people on here have tried to help and give me advice on what to do and how. Lets face it, it's not something you generally have to do more than once and i've not had to do it before. Anyway thanks everyone you've been a great help.

**Russ** · 06-09-2008, 18:29

This thread is about a very sensitive subject and members are asked to bear in mind our T&Cs about treating others with respect.