27-06-2008, 19:09
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#1
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What hast thou done?
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Management Speak
50 most hated here...
My favourite:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by The BBC
"My employers (top half of FTSE 100) recently informed staff that we are no longer allowed to use the phrase brain storm because it might have negative connotations associated with fits. We must now take idea showers. I think that says it all really."
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Could that possibly be true, or they " 'avin a larf"?
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27-06-2008, 19:27
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#2
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Cable Forum Team
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Re: Management Speak
But what about people who have a fear of drowning. Surely they won't want to go anywhere near a waterfall of overblown PC thoughts.
The worrying thing is that there was probably no clouds about that lead to the Blue Sky thinking that came up with this that someone then took forward after a bit of 360 degree thinking 
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27-06-2008, 19:30
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#3
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Roooaaaarrrrr!!!
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Re: Management Speak
Number 5... "touch base"
"touch face" more like, with a clenched fist.
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27-06-2008, 21:11
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#4
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cf.geek
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Re: Management Speak
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Peter
Number 5... "touch base"
"touch face" more like, with a clenched fist.
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Aaarrrghh yeah the touch base one, used to get that all the time, from other managers, not my direct managers luckily, and also sales people etc. on the phone.
Ain't no way anyone is touching my base!!   
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27-06-2008, 21:49
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#5
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Re: Management Speak
Having been out of an office for 5 years I see that pompous jargon is still alive and kicking.
I had a Senior Adviser who was always telling my staff that 'problems were merely adverse conditions needing a solution'. It was his knowing wink after the delivery that always broke me up.
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27-06-2008, 21:50
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#6
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What hast thou done?
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Re: Management Speak
Quote:
Originally Posted by joglynne
Having been out of an office for 5 years I see that pompous jargon is still alive and kicking.
I had a Senior Adviser who was always telling my staff that 'problems were merely adverse conditions needing a solution'. It was his knowing wink after the delivery that always broke me up.
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Sounds a bit of a winker...
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27-06-2008, 21:54
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#7
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Re: Management Speak
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cobbydaler
Sounds a bit of a winker... |
More a large winker. Scarily he now works for the Treasury.
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27-06-2008, 22:04
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#8
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Guest
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Re: Management Speak
"Low hanging fruit" - just makes me think of haemorrhoids, sorry 
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28-06-2008, 00:00
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#9
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Anyone can play guitar
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Re: Management Speak
we say 'have you got enough cycles to deal with this?'
It's like we organizing the london to brighton cycle ride
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28-06-2008, 00:20
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#10
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Re: Management Speak
Quote:
Originally Posted by homealone
"Low hanging fruit" - just makes me think of haemorrhoids, sorry |
Good job that's not a low hanging fish otherwise we could all join in a refrain of "Swing low, sweet halibut"
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28-06-2008, 01:30
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#11
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That damn leprechaun!!
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Re: Management Speak
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Peter
Good job that's not a low hanging fish otherwise we could all join in a refrain of "Swing low, sweet halibut"
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Good God, no! You do realise that you've just started another fish puns thread, don't you
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28-06-2008, 02:03
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#12
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Cable Forum Team
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Re: Management Speak
Someone fell into the net there, hook, linke and sinker 
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28-06-2008, 02:16
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#13
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Re: Management Speak
I was going to rejoin this tread but it looks like I had better sling my hook and look for better fish to fry.
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28-06-2008, 03:52
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#14
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Roooaaaarrrrr!!!
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Re: Management Speak
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nugget
Good God, no! You do realise that you've just started another fish puns thread, don't you |
In the context of management speak, isn't it a relief that nobody has yet invented the phrase "touching bait": alarming visions of two men waving their maggots around.
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Nero fiddles while Gordon burns... in his Joy Division oven gloves
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28-06-2008, 05:06
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#15
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Cable Forum Team
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Re: Management Speak
Trouble is, if it hadn't been invented before, you've just achieved that notoriety 
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