Need some advice for my mum.

AdamD · 08-02-2008, 20:19

Hi all, I'm asking on behalf of my mother

She's married, isn't on the mortgage, nor the deeds, but used the proceeds of her previous house to pay the deposit on their current house.

They've been married for a fair few years and during that time, he's racked up a ton of debt on credit cards/loans without telling her, so the house/mortgage may now be at risk

This happened in the past (About 6 months ago), but they sought the advice of their original mortgage broker, who got them a deal with their current mortgage provider to clear his credit cards and add the debt to the mortgage.
But, apparently 6 months later, he's done the same again.

What would be the best advice I can give her?

I've told her to contact her friend who's ex husband is a lawyer, which she's going to do, but to put my mind at rest (If possible), any advice would be appreciated

idi banashapan · 08-02-2008, 20:45

run away!

Leave him, he can't be trusted (obviously) and has deceived her twice now. obviously a major trust issue going on there. if she is not bound by any contractual obligations, she should be able to walk away. she would be better off to 'cut her loses' so to speak...

Good plan getting the lawyer involved. that way she'll know EXACTLY where she stands, what she can be held accountable for and be given a clear view of her best options. all the same, she should still rethink the relationship, imo.

**Maggy J** · 08-02-2008, 20:54

My sister found herself in a similar situation.She got her husband to file for bankruptcy and as the innocent in the case when the house was sold took her half of the money and bought a cheaper house oooop north.Since then he has not been allowed to have anything to do with the finances and she has run everything as the house is hers so he can't use the house as equity.He is her guest in her house.

AdamD · 08-02-2008, 21:31

Thanks for the info/advice
Only problem is the outstanding mortgage, although I don't know the exact figure, because more was added onto it, it's about the same or near the current price of the house
So even if he did that, they'd take the house as "payment" and she'd be left with very little, if anything, right?
I assume so anyways.

I don't know if the money my mum used as the deposit for the house, would be taken, I'd imagine so, to cover the outstanding debt...

Divorce was the first thing on my mind to, but she's concerned about what others think about her having a 2nd divorce, eh
She still loves the guy, despite the fact he's lying to her about it. (She asked him if they were in any trouble financially, he always says no, it was only by chance that she found out both the first and second time

)

**Maggy J** · 08-02-2008, 22:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by AdamD

Thanks for the info/advice
Only problem is the outstanding mortgage, although I don't know the exact figure, because more was added onto it, it's about the same or near the current price of the house
So even if he did that, they'd take the house as "payment" and she'd be left with very little, if anything, right?
I assume so anyways.

I don't know if the money my mum used as the deposit for the house, would be taken, I'd imagine so, to cover the outstanding debt...

Divorce was the first thing on my mind to, but she's concerned about what others think about her having a 2nd divorce, eh
She still loves the guy, despite the fact he's lying to her about it. (She asked him if they were in any trouble financially, he always says no, it was only by chance that she found out both the first and second time

)

Is the house mortgage in his name,her name or both their names?If it is in both their names and he has done it behind her back she may have some protection because both signatures would have been needed.If his she's stuffed.Of course if it's in her name then she's sitting pretty.

If she gets it sorted out she should make sure the next property is in her name ONLY.

AdamD · 08-02-2008, 22:36

Nah, her name isn't on either the mortgage, or the title/house deeds.

**Maggy J** · 08-02-2008, 22:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by AdamD

Nah, her name isn't on either the mortgage, or the title/house deeds either.

Then I'm sorry she is out of luck and he's a total g*t.

AdamD · 08-02-2008, 22:53

Gonna make things interesting then, because the mortgage is also tied to another house, the one he previously owned
He essentially gave it to his parents, but the mortgage (I believe) is tied to that house
So basically, his stupidity may mean he, plus 3 others lose their home
I assume that's correct anyways.

**Maggy J** · 08-02-2008, 22:57

I tell every grown up woman of my acquaintance to get their name on the mortgage and title deeds..It makes things so clear cut in the event of a death or of debts.

Hom3r · 08-02-2008, 23:00

If I know the law correctly if she was to divorce she may be entitled to a percentage of his property.

But I'm a man and single and never married

AdamD · 08-02-2008, 23:47

Yea, although if he has a huge debt in the form of a large mortgage and/or possible credit cards and loans, I doubt she'd get anything out of it.
What do ya do though? she's retired, trying to relax and retire peacefully, now she's having to deal with this
She's only just got over dealing with Womb cancer, so this is really upsetting her

His response is that nothing is wrong and he goes on the defensive
The other night he apparently didn't come home from work, instead, he came home borderline drunk at 10pm
He's the kinda guy who can't face up to his problems, the ones he's causing, as when confronted he gets all hysterical and says he's going to leave and how she can "have everything" (.....er what? a massive debt? Gee thanks)

tweetypie/8 · 09-02-2008, 01:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by AdamD

Hi all, I'm asking on behalf of my mother

She's married, isn't on the mortgage, nor the deeds, but used the proceeds of her previous house to pay the deposit on their current house.

They've been married for a fair few years and during that time, he's racked up a ton of debt on credit cards/loans without telling her, so the house/mortgage may now be at risk

This happened in the past (About 6 months ago), but they sought the advice of their original mortgage broker, who got them a deal with their current mortgage provider to clear his credit cards and add the debt to the mortgage.
But, apparently 6 months later, he's done the same again.

What would be the best advice I can give her?

I've told her to contact her friend who's ex husband is a lawyer, which she's going to do, but to put my mind at rest (If possible), any advice would be appreciated

the best advice to tell your mum is tell her to lose him very quicklyas he is a loser tell her all the best from me.

and chin up.

Nugget · 09-02-2008, 01:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incognitas

Then I'm sorry she is out of luck and he's a total g*t.

Pretty much covers it

Having said that, if his debts are secured and your mum isn't on the mortgage, then at least she isn't liable for the money that this pillock owes.

The best she could do (which isn't the easiest) is to get rid of him and start fresh - not the easiest, but at least she'd be rid of this toe-rag...

ikthius · 09-02-2008, 08:08

what about a debt arrangement scheme, where he get to deal with his debts, at considerably lower payment..... the house is protected.

then get everything changed over house wise, e.g. the deeds in her name

ik

get your mum to contact your nearest Citizens Advice Bureau to find out about DAS
Try & get it started ASAP to be protected

AdamD · 12-02-2008, 00:16

Thanks everyone for the advice.
Much appreciated.