Signs of someone using drugs?

[Escapee]

I wonder if any of you one here could help me out with a problem I have with a friend.

I am very friendly (and that's all it is) with a young woman of 19 and her mother, I have been friendly with them for the last 12 months. A few weeks ago the young woman had a falling out with me over a misunderstanding, I don't want to go into the full details but I now believe the misunderstanding was blown out of proportion and part fabricated for other reasons in this post.

There is now a suspicion that she is taking drugs, she has many of the symptoms that I would recognise and certainly when I saw her in the middle of the week I thought there was a complete change to her character, but it was only last night when drugs were mentioned the penny dropped. On Wednesday she was working behind the bar, I was sat at the bar reading a newspaper and my frind was doing the same. She came and sat down behind the bar on the floor so we couldn't see her and tried to do it without us noticing. I thought she may be checking to see if we talked about her, and I guess this could be something to do with being paranoid as drug users often are.

She had to go from behind the bar to lie down on the seats because she was not feeling too good feeling light headed and sick, she is not eating and was only eating sweets that night. It is also noticable that she has lost about a stone in the last 3 weeks, and she no longer bothers with any of her old friends. Even though she started being friendly with me again I could sense that there was something not quite right, she was not her usual self where we take the pi** out of one another. She didn't tell me but she has moved out of her mothers house to live with a guy of 29, he came to meet her from work and I didn't know anything about him at the time but my immediate thought was 'Looser'after a quick look at him. She has had quite a few short term boyfriends but never moved out of her mothers home or had a sudden change of character before. I have now found out that this new boyfriend is a very dubious character and is into drugs although I don't know what type. I don't think she would tell me about him because she would be embarassed, I have told her before not to bother with loosers because she is capable of finding herself a nice guy of her age. (I think she is very easily led)

She had a nasty rash around her mouth a few weeks ago and she claims it was impetigo, but with the look of this new boyfriend it could be anything. She has also not drunk any alcohol for the last 3-4 weeks, and she was a stereotypical 18-19 year old out as many nights of the week as she could if she could scrape the money together or borrow from her mother or father.

I am concerned, I have been a very close friend and someone came upto me last night who I have a lot of respect for and asked if I could talk to her. I don't think I will be able to get any info from her, she used to confide a lot in me but now she is suddenly blanking me.

Any ideas what I should be looking for, I would describe her as a very vulnerable person and would say she is certainly not the sharpes tool in the box, although she has been a very nice person. I am genuinly concerned and she has blanked her family completely, I would at least like to try to get some idea of what she is taking?

PS. Last night she failed to show for work.

[lauzjp]

sounds from the rash and the loss of weight that she could be on crack.

tbh, you are far better off out of it; she will need medical help & support. one of our neighbours keeps trying to ween himself off...

[Escapee]

Originally Posted by lauzjp

sounds from the rash and the loss of weight that she could be on crack.

I really hope not, it is only a matter of 3-4 weeks but I really noticed the change when I saw her Wednesday after not seeing her for a couple ofweeks due to the rash.

[greencreeper]

I wouldn't go leaping to conclusions at all. I would simply tell her that you're there for her should she feel the need for a chat about anything, and leave it at that.

[lauzjp]

I'm not saying she definately is, but it seems to be quite rife nowadays, moreso than weed. look to see whether her eyes look glazed.

she could just be ill, and have some sort of infection that is making her weak.

but gc is right. my bad. just so tired of trying to help people help themselves and all they do is take the pee.

[Escapee]

Just had a text from her mother, its drugs.

I think coke is likely because she seems to be hooked very quickly, and here seems to be lot of it in the area at a reduced price. have offered to help and thats all I can do, I'm not sure about her eyes because she is avoiding eye contact with me.

She has all the symptoms, but I do wonder if she perhaps knows them and it could be some sort of attention seeking. I can't believe the change in a matter of weeks, I dont know how she will be able to afford to feed the habit.

I hope she doesn't turn to prostitution, she is a very beautiful young woman.

[alferret]

It’s always difficult with what to say to someone who is going down that road.
As Greenkeeper said approach and offer to be the ear & shoulder.
Whatever you do don’t be drawn into helping them with money, even if they promise that they will get themselves off it. It seems to me that this girl may have low self esteem and this is why her use of the drug may have moved from social to habit in a very quick way.
2 fiends I used to work with many years ago were social then habitual coke users; from there it escalated to heroin and from there to murder. One killed the other in an argument about their stash.
I know this is an extreme example but one I know of first hand.

[TheDaddy]

Originally Posted by Escapee

Just had a text from her mother, its drugs.

I think coke is likely because she seems to be hooked very quickly, and here seems to be lot of it in the area at a reduced price. have offered to help and thats all I can do, I'm not sure about her eyes because she is avoiding eye contact with me.

She has all the symptoms, but I do wonder if she perhaps knows them and it could be some sort of attention seeking. I can't believe the change in a matter of weeks, I dont know how she will be able to afford to feed the habit.

I hope she doesn't turn to prostitution, she is a very beautiful young woman.

Slow down, don't let your mind run away with things, in all likelihood she isn't addicted to anything yet and has just hit things hard in the last month, I would suggest leaving it to her mother, hopefully it's nothing to get 'that' worried about and if there is more to it and she does have a problem, you can help them cross that bridge when you come to it, I did my training in Wales for working with users so I know quite a few good people up there, if you need their help just PM me.

[Escapee]

Originally Posted by TheDaddy

Slow down, don't let your mind run away with things, in all likelihood she isn't addicted to anything yet and has just hit things hard in the last month, I would suggest leaving it to her mother, hopefully it's nothing to get 'that' worried about and if there is more to it and she does have a problem, you can help them cross that bridge when you come to it, I did my training in Wales for working with users so I know quite a few good people up there, if you need their help just PM me.

Thanks for the offer, I may take you up on that soon. She has moved out and will not speak to her mother, it is a complete turnaround because I always thought it a little odd that she went out drinking with her mother and mothers friends. So she has broken all ties with her close friends, at least she is speaking to me and even though I am a lot older than her we have always had a good laugh together.

The slight bit of good news is that the mother says its 'Speed' she is taking, I have just got the boyfriends name and I am making some enquiries with a couple of guys I know, one was dealing in the area for a while and he may be able to fill me in the details what the guy uses and if he is dealing etc.

Originally Posted by Escapee

Thanks for the offer, I may take you up on that soon. She has moved out and will not speak to her mother, it is a complete turnaround because I always thought it a little odd that she went out drinking with her mother and mothers friends. So she has broken all ties with her close friends, at least she is speaking to me and even though I am a lot older than her we have always had a good laugh together.

The slight bit of good news is that the mother says its 'Speed' she is taking, I have just got the boyfriends name and I am making some enquiries with a couple of guys I know, one was dealing in the area for a while and he may be able to fill me in the details what the guy uses and if he is dealing etc.

Hmm, I'm not so sure, the catch phrase that 'speed kills' can come true. It might not be as a direct result of, say, an overdose, but the strain of taking lots of stimulants can have a devastating effect on your heart, while the loss of appetite can cause malnutrition. Depression & other psychological effects are also possible with long term use.

It is great you are showing such concern, but do be careful you don't get too involved, as she may want to just use you for the support. She has to see the situation she is in is no good & want to get out of it of her own accord. The danger is she will just drift along the same path all the while she can 'depend' on your help?

[lauzjp]

Originally Posted by homealone

It is great you are showing such concern, but do be careful you don't get too involved, as she may want to just use you for the support. She has to see the situation she is in is no good & want to get out of it of her own accord. The danger is she will just drift along the same path all the while she can 'depend' on your help?

Escapee, direct her to services by all means, offer to go to the doctors with her, etc. but don't end up being a mug like me.

[Vlad_Dracul]

Escapee-you will not heed my advice but I am going to give it anyway. Been there,done that. The most important thing for you do to is on no account interfere or get involved. In this situation,and if it is drugs,people have to find their own level and sort themselves out. You can't and shouldn't do anything becuase you probably dont have the experience to deal with it AND its up to them what they do.

[superbiatch]

Originally Posted by TheDaddy

Slow down, don't let your mind run away with things, in all likelihood she isn't addicted to anything yet and has just hit things hard in the last month, I would suggest leaving it to her mother, hopefully it's nothing to get 'that' worried about and if there is more to it and she does have a problem, you can help them cross that bridge when you come to it, I did my training in Wales for working with users so I know quite a few good people up there, if you need their help just PM me.

I'm inclined to agree with The Daddy on this one - do you know how widely used cocaine is?? You'd be suprised i'm sure! Just because she is a user, doesn't mean she's addicted - she could just have had a few rough weeks as The Daddy says. Out in Liverpool every weekend, cocaine is virtually as popular as drinking alcohol and these people don't do it every day of the week, just as a recreational drug at the weekends. These people are also highly educated and understand the risks - so i think people's perceptions that everyone looks like a crack/heroin user and is totally dependant on coke is to blame for Escapee's worries - although i'm not saying its safe by any means.

You sound like a good friend , all you can do is listen and learn - believe me i know exactly how it feels to be you

[Escapee]

Originally Posted by superbiatch

I'm inclined to agree with The Daddy on this one - do you know how widely used cocaine is?? You'd be suprised i'm sure! Just because she is a user, doesn't mean she's addicted - she could just have had a few rough weeks as The Daddy says. Out in Liverpool every weekend, cocaine is virtually as popular as drinking alcohol and these people don't do it every day of the week, just as a recreational drug at the weekends. These people are also highly educated and understand the risks - so i think people's perceptions that everyone looks like a crack/heroin user and is totally dependant on coke is to blame for Escapee's worries - although i'm not saying its safe by any means.

You sound like a good friend , all you can do is listen and learn - believe me i know exactly how it feels to be you

I know what you are saying about cocaine users, I have know one fairly well for the past 20 years who holds down a steady job. It would not be obvious that he has a habit, but his mentality is completely different and he was proably way more grown up when he started taking coke.

I am probably just as much concerned about the scum she is now associating with as well as the drugs, I didn't realise that I in fact know the older brother who is about the same age as me. He also has an 18 yr old girlfriend that he keeps well supplied with drugs as a friend told me ages ago that he deals, now alll 4 are living together the 2 brothers and the 2 young girls. He was stood right next to me at the bar friday night and I didn't even realise he was the brother. Someone who has known me for quite a while made a comment to me about the fact that I have a nasty temper, I believe this was probably done without my knowledge to let him know. He even had the cheek to talk to me and I was unaware.

I assume he is already aware that I am not amused, or would not be when I found out. I had noticed this guy watching her a lot a while ago, and he always watched me when I was talking to her and the other barmaid. I think this older brother has as much to do with enticing her as the younger one she is seeing.

I did get a call from her and she was a little upset with my reaction, I think she misjudged me and thought that I would be cool about her antics. I told her I am dissapointed and annoyed with her because she is associating with such scum as she is far better than that. She did contact her mother a bit later very upset and it may of been due to my comments, she has promised not to do it again but until she is away from him I think that is unlikely. I know she eat a full dinner on Sunday so at least that is one step in the right direction

I know it sounds bad, but I just hope he has his fun with her and gets bored. I know she is already struggling for money, there is little chance that she would ask me for money after my conversation with her and she wouldn't get any from me, she knows me well enough to know I am no mug. I would help if it was buying her food or something she needed but I would not hand her cash under any circumstances.

[superbiatch]

Sounds like its playing the waiting game then - he sounds like a right scumbag so i hope she bins him off as soon as she wisens up are you sure you only care because you are a friend? (if anyone gave that much of a damn about me i'd feel honoured )